hihihi so you know that weird moment when you go through your dozens of drafts and notice something titled "ominous thing"? and then you click on it and think huh, my brain at 2 am is apparently very very weird what the heck was going through my mind when i wrote this??
lmho i have no idea wth this is, the only reason I'm posting it is because its exactly 999 words and... and I couldn't resist okay--
also I? think? the terrible punctuation and large blocks of text was intentional? like maybe old me thought it contributed to the theme? idk lol, but if you want me to break up the text for you if you cant read it, i can do that ofc
word count: 999
tw: oh, we have a lot. um, just a lot of dark aspects, being alone, bullied, betrayed, used, hated, pitied, underestimated, etc.
for sophie it was the way everything was fake. the admiration, the compliments, the adoring looks. the trust people put in her that they wouldn't put into anyone else. its never enough. ever. because she knows its all fake. she knows the love isn't for her, sophie foster. its for the moonlark. its for the twisted creation the black swan made, for the savior that they'd crafted without ever thinking of the poor child they'd doomed. its how she's expected to do whats right, always. one moment of hesitation, one bad choice, one day of frivolity and everything crashes down on her. she's hated and mocked, she's a failure. and she no longer has a choice, no longer has genuine love. her freedom is gone, her destiny set in cold, hard stone
for fitz its the pressure always put on him. the overwhelming pressure. the way he's expected to always do whats right, the way he's expected to look handsome for all the girls and if he isn't he's failed. the way he must act perfect and poised, the way that he must smile for the cameras and never show the tears shining in his eyes. the way he's forced to hide the way his soul is splintering inside him, the way he's just slowly feeling emptier and emptier. the way he tries, tries so hard to be perfect but its never enough, how could it be? there's always a mistake always. he's a mistake. and he must bear it all with a smile
for keefe its the pity he's become so used to. oh, its all pity, isn't it? every. single. bit. its the way his friends tell him they love him, its the way they look at him, its the way they act around him as if he's glass. easily broken, easily shattered. and its true, he could break with a single nudge in the right direction and he knows it. but the pity? it only makes him break further. and when its gone, he's once again wishing, hoping, for someone to notice him, notice the way he's slowly cracking. its all a neverending cycle, wanting the attention but despising it at the same time. and it can never end in a good way, ever. he's stuck, still a teenager but more broken than most people will ever be
for dex its the attention. or at least, the lack of it. the way he's ignored, he's always been ignored. and if he isn't ignored, he's taunted, mocked, teased, until he can only pray they'll go back to ignoring him. there are two choices: to be ridiculed or to be forgotten, and he doesn't know which one is better. before it was the first choice, being bullied in foxfire for something he couldn't control, hurt so hard he came home in tears every day. and then it became the second one, simply being ignored for others, better people, better things, better problems. And he's grown used to it. he knows to not accept any love, friendship, warmth. he knows it'll all wear off eventually and he can only grow cold to the point where it won't hurt him as much.
for biana its the way she's so easily overshadowed. she's always been overshadowed, she's used to it really. she knows she'll have to hang back as her brother and parents and friends bask in attention and praise and compliments and love. she knows no one cares about her smarts or bravery or creativity. no one cares about knowing her for who she truly is behind the perfect vacker cover. its always been this way and she's learned to not hope for more. this is normal. she was only ever meant to be a pretty vacker doll, all sparkle and no substance. she was only ever meant to be looked at, her true self ignored. if there even was a true self after all these years of pretending. she didn't know, not anymore. she can only grit her teeth behind her plastic smile.
for linh its the way she's always underestimated. she always is really. sweet. soft. pretty. whimsical. nothing else. no one cares to ask about her dreams, her hopes, her passions. she's stuck in the back, a sweet cinnamon roll with no other personality. no one cares about her accomplishments, no one cares about her ambitions. they wouldn't, it would ruin the perfect image of a sweet little girl they have in her mind. they want to pretend they know her, they don't ask her anything. she's stuck keeping her thoughts to herself, not even sure why she still bothers. she shouldn't. she's only a tool now, forced to use her power when necessary. and then its over, she's back to being the kind girl in the friend group. nothing else.
for tam its the way he's alone. he trusts no one and no one trusts him. other than linh of course, but one day she'll find somewhere else she's meant to be and tam will be left behind. it'll always come back to this, there's no other way is there? he can't trust, that ability has been stolen from him over the hard, cold years of endless betrayals and broken promises. his heart has hardened, unable to give out warmth anymore. and he wishes it were different, maybe he could open up and give out love as freely as linh can. but he knows it isn't possible, its too late to go back on all of this. he's alone, fending for himself once more. its hard sometimes, being with others, but its harder being alone.
their childhood has been stolen from them. oh sure, it started out easy. happy. light. but it was never really that way, as they soon learned. nothings ever the way it seems, there are always complications hidden under the surface. and for them, the complications are far more numerous.
they never got to be just kids. they never got that easy childhood. instead their childhood was stolen from them.
