WHATS UP IM NOT DEAD i just didnt write anything for three months straight </3 but like. hi.
anyways have some keefitz!! songfic of gold rush by taylor swift. sad, mostly pining ofc. please pretend this makes sense im literally making it up as i go
it feels like 3 separate ppl with no idea what theyre doing and completely different plans wrote this fic w/o any communication 😭😭😭😭
warnings: obsessive love and heartbreak and angst, metaphors of death and drowning, mentions abusive parents, swearing like twice in the song lyrics
word count: 2.8k
Gleaming
Twinkling
Eyes like sinking ships
On waters so inviting
I almost jump in
Keefe had always been intrigued by sirens.
Creatures whose breathtaking beauty caused sailors to quickly become enamored with them. Their ethereal voices would reach mortal ears and suddenly there would be no escape. The poor sailors would crash their ships into rocks in an attempt to reach what they could never have. They'd drown in the unforgiving waters of the ocean, their ship in pieces around them thanks to jagged rocks and their own desire.
They would breathe their last breaths wanting something, someone, they could never have.
When Keefe was a kid, he hadn't understood it.
Hadn't understood that feeling of infatuation where one could stare at another forever, enchanted by their beauty and grace. Hadn't understood how someone would do things, reckless things, over and over for just a morsel of love. Hadn't understood how someone could sacrifice everything without a second thought because of a simple feeling.
He wasn't a kid anymore. And he was slowly starting to get it, how one person could make you feel so many ways. Blinded with emotions, ready to do anything, prepared to end in disaster.
Sometimes in Keefe's dreams, he'd think of Fitz's eyes. They gleamed with their gorgeous color, a vibrant mix of blues and greens, twinkling whenever Fitz laughed or smiled. They were the sea in the dancing light of the sun.
And Keefe understood now, how the sailors felt in those stories. Ready to jump murky mysteriousness in the hope for clear water. So enticed, so reckless. No thoughts of the consequences, just ready to fall.
Fall into the water and fall in love.
But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush
I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush
I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch
Everybody wants you
Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you
When Keefe had first discovered these feelings, his instinct had been to panic. To overthink and shut himself away from everyone till the chains of emotion broke and he was free again. But love isn't that easy to get over, he'd quickly learned.
Keefe didn't like this feeling that he had no power over. It came and went and it always left Keefe's face bright with a blush, his heart hammering against his ribs so hard it hurt. He could anticipate it now, the overwhelming emotions and flustered staring and that everlasting red tint on his cheeks. It was expected, the crushing weight of those feelings that he couldn't control, despite all his best efforts.
When they were young, it hadn't been like this. When they were six, nine, twelve, Keefe's emotions hadn't felt so unpredictable. Back then, things were clear-cut and simple. He and Fitz were best friends. And now Fitz was still his friend, but he was also something else, something confusing and maybe even dangerous.
