[Bomber]
CO-PILOT: Sir, Anderson's in a bad way. Where are we?
REG: I don't know. Somewhere over the Channel.
CO-PILOT: What do I tell Anderson?
REG: Tell him. Tell him, tell him we're going home for Christmas.
CO-PILOT: Yes, sir.
REG: I'm sorry, my love.
(A bright light fills the cockpit.)
MADGE [OC]: Goodbye, my love. Goodbye!
[Dome]
(The dome has landed with a thump somewhere. The Doctor wafts the smoke away from the figures of Madge, Lily and Cyril lying on the floor. The circlet has fallen off Madge's head.)
DOCTOR: Cyril, Lily, are you all right?
MADGE: Are they dead?
DOCTOR: No, they're just wood now. They've been emptied. The forest has gone from your head too, hasn't it.
MADGE: But where is it now?
DOCTOR: The life force of the whole forest has transmuted itself into a sub-etheric waveband of light, which can exist as a
(He is stopped by a Look.)
DOCTOR: The souls of the trees are out among the stars, and they're shining, very happy. And you got them there. Well done, Madge.
MADGE: And where are we?
DOCTOR: Home! Christmas morning.
(They are outside Uncle Digby's house.)
DOCTOR: We've taken a bit of a short cut. Haven't you always wanted to do that?
LILY: Mother?
MADGE: Oh, look at you. You've been so brave, you. Look, we're home again, see?
LILY: What did you mean, watch him die? Where's Father? Where is he? Where's Daddy? Why are you holding a telegram? Well, what does it say?
CYRIL: Please, just tell us.
LILY: Tell us!
DOCTOR: I imagine you'd prefer to be alone.
MADGE: I don't believe anyone would prefer that. Stay close, Caretaker.
DOCTOR: I'll be right outside.
(The Doctor leaves.)
MADGE: Lily, Cyril.
[Outside Uncle Digby's house]
MADGE [OC]: A few nights ago, your father, who as you know, was the best of men and the bravest of pilots
[Dome]
MADGE: Was flying home for Christmas. His plane was badly damaged, and his instruments failed him. Unfortunately, he was flying on a night where there was no moon, and because it was very cloudy, there were no stars to. There were no stars to light his way.
CYRIL: Did he get lost?
MADGE: Yes, Cyril. He got so very lost.
DOCTOR: Er, sorry to interrupt. You might want to pop out here for a moment.
MADGE: Caretaker, I'm talking to my children.
DOCTOR: I know, and before you go any further, I think you'd better come and look.
[Lawn]
(More like a field, a bit rough and overgrown.)
DOCTOR: No stars to light the way, Madge? There was one.
[Bomber]
DOCTOR [OC]: There was you.
CO-PILOT: What is it?
REG: I don't know, but it's all we've got. We can follow it.
(And he does, through the Time Vortex.)
[Lawn]
DOCTOR: Madge Arwell, who flew a whole forest though the Time Vortex, plus one husband.
(The Bomber has landed safely.)
DOCTOR: He did it again, Madge. He followed you home. Look what you can do, Mother Christmas.
REG: Madge, what am I doing here?
MADGE: It's Christmas Day, my love! Where else would you be?
REG: Christmas Day? How?
MADGE: We took a short cut.
(Big family reunion.)
LILY + CYRIL: Daddy!
DOCTOR: Happy crying. Humany wumany.
[Attic]
(Down in the main sitting room, the happy family are doing a jigsaw in front of a roaring fire. Later, Madge comes into the attic and sees the Tardis. The Doctor comes out of it.)
DOCTOR: Ah.
MADGE: Of course. It's you, isn't it? My spaceman angel, with his head on backwards.
DOCTOR: How do I look the right way round?
MADGE: Funnier.
DOCTOR: Okay.
MADGE: So you came back.
DOCTOR: Well, you were there for me when I had a bad day. Always like to return a favour. Got a bit glitchy in the middle there, but it sort of worked out in the end. Story of my life.
MADGE: Thank you.
DOCTOR: Oh, you did it all yourself, Madge Arwell. But thanks for thanking me.
MADGE: Now, the last time I saw you, I went back the next day, but the police box had gone.
DOCTOR: Yeah. You want to see how it's done?
MADGE: No. I want you to stay for Christmas, please.
DOCTOR: Ah, well, you see, things to do, people to see.
MADGE: Of course. Yes. Family of your own.
DOCTOR: Well, no, actually.
MADGE: Oh. Yes, yes, you said no family. But there must be people who love you. Friends.
DOCTOR: No. Well, yes, but. It's a long story. But they all think I'm dead. Never mind. Anyway, watch my box do its thing. It's really cool. You'll love it.
MADGE: No. No one should be alone at Christmas.
DOCTOR: I'm fine. I don't mind. I'm really very good at being
MADGE: I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about your friends. You can't let them think that you're dead. Not at Christmas.
DOCTOR: It's complicated. Very complicated. It's far too complicated to explain right now.
MADGE: You must tell them. At once. Off you go.
DOCTOR: Yes, Mum. I'll think about it.
(He kisses her on the cheek.)
DOCTOR: Now, eyes on the box.
MADGE: Oh, Caretaker? What if I require you again?
DOCTOR: Make a wish.
(He goes into the Tardis and it dematerialises as Reg comes in.)
REG: What the hell was that?
MADGE: That was just the Caretaker returning to the Time Vortex. It's a lovely place. I've been there myself. Shall we go downstairs?
[Front door]
(The Doctor knocks on a blue suburban front door with a yale lock.)
Isabella [OC]: Argh! If that is more carol singers, I have a water pistol! You don't want to be all wet on a night like this.
(She opens the door and squirts the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Not absolutely sure how long
Isabella : Two years?
(Squirt, squirt, squirt.)
DOCTOR: Okay. Fair point.
Isabella : So, you're not dead.
DOCTOR: And a happy New Year!
Isabella : River told us.
DOCTOR: Well, of course she did.
Isabella : She's a good girl. Well? I'm not going to hug first.
DOCTOR: Nor am I.
(They spend a few moments not looking at each other before laughing and hugging.)
AMY: Mister Pond! AMY Rory! Guess who's coming for dinner?
RONALD : Whoa. Not dead, then.
Isabella : We've done that.
RORY: Oh.
AMY: We're about to have Christmas dinner. Joining us?
DOCTOR: If it's no trouble.
RONALD : There's a place set for you.
DOCTOR: But you didn't know I was coming. Why would you set me a place?
Isabella : Oh, because we always do. It's Christmas, you moron.
RORY: Come on.
(Isabella Ronald and Rory go inside. The Doctor hesitates, then feels his face. It is wet with happy tears.)
YOU ARE READING
The Story of a mad Man with a box series 6 (Doctor Who)
ActionAmy, Isabella Ronald Rory and River Song receive invitations to the Utah desert where they meet the Doctor, who claims to be nearly 200 years older than when they had last seen him and says that he will take them to "Space: 1969". As they dine besid...
