[First floor landing]
DOCTOR: We'll pop back to the Tardis, I'll do a planet-wide diagnostic sweep, and then we'll have a sing song.
AMY: Where's the Tardis? You parked it there, didn't you?
HOWIE: What's a Tardis?
RORY: Our way out. And it's gone.
(The musak starts up again.)
DOCTOR: Okay, this is bad. At the moment, I don't know how bad, but certainly we're three buses, a long walk and eight quid in a taxi from good. Are there any more of you?
RITA: Joe. But he's tied up right now.
DOCTOR: Doing what?
RITA: No, I mean he's tied up right now.
[Restaurant]
(Joe is tied to a chair. All the tables are populated with ventriloquist's dummies, which are laughing. They fall silent and look around as the Doctor enters, followed by Amy and Rory, then the others.)
DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor.
JOE: We're going to die here.
DOCTOR: Well, they certainly didn't mention that in the brochure. Is Joe there? Can I have a quick word?
JOE: Oh, it's still me, Doctor, but I've seen the light. I lived a blasphemous life, but he has forgiven my inconstancy, and soon he shall feast.
DOCTOR: Well, you've been here two days. What's he waiting for?
JOE: We weren't ready. We were still raw.
DOCTOR: But now you're what, cooked?
(The Doctor observes Joe's horseshoe tie clip and dice cufflinks.)
JOE: If you like. Soon you will be, too. Be patient. First, find your room.
DOCTOR: My room.
JOE: There's a room here for everyone, Doctor. Even you.
DOCTOR: You said you'd seen the light now.
JOE: Nothing else matters anymore. Only him. It's like these things. I used to hate them. They make me laugh now. Gottle o' geer. Gottle o' geer.
(Laughter.)
JOE: You should go. He'll be here soon.
DOCTOR: I think you should come with me.
(The Doctor slides a luggage trolley under Joe's chair.)
[Reception]
DOCTOR: Why you four? That's what I don't understand. Aside from all the other things I don't understand.
GIBBIS: What does it matter? Sooner or later, someone will come along and rescue us.
(He turns off the musak.)
GIBBIS: Or enslave us.
DOCTOR: First, we find the Tardis. Quick thing before we go. If you feel drawn to a particular room, do not go in, and make sure someone else can see you at all times.
RITA: Joe said, he will feast. Is there something here with us?
DOCTOR: Something to add, Joe?
JOE: Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off your head. Chop, chop, chop, chop.
HOWIE: Can we do something about him?
[First floor corridor]
(Joe's mouth has been taped shut, and Gibbis is wheeling him along.)
GIBBIS: Personally, I think you've got the right idea. Times like this, I think of my old school motto. Resistance Is Exhausting.
HOWIE: I've worked out where we are.
RONALD : Hmm?
HOWIE: Norway.
RORY: Norway?
HOWIE: You see, the US government has entire cities hidden in the Norwegian mountains. You see, Earth is on a collision course with this other planet, and this is where they're going to send all the rich people when it kicks off.
RONALD : Amazing.
HOWIE: It's all there on the internet.
RORY: No, it's amazing you've come up with a theory even more insane than what's actually happening.
(A man in his underwear and with a whistle around his neck steps out of room 158.)
DOCTOR: Hello.
TEACHER: Have you forgotten your PE kit again? Right, that's it, you're doing it in your pants!
(And goes back inside the room.)
DOCTOR: Hey! Don't!
(Howie opens room 155. There are a lot of pretty girls there.)
BLONDE: Oh, look, girls, it's H-H-H-Howie!
BRUNETTE: What's loser in K-K-K-Klingon?
HOWIE [OC]: Praise him.
HOWIE: Shut the d, d, d, the door. This is just some m, m, messed up CIA stuff, I'm, I'm, I'm telling you.
DOCTOR: You're right. Keep telling yourself that. It's a CIA thing, nothing more.
[Second floor corridor]
(They find the pages from PC Lucy's notebook. Rory kneels to tie his shoelace and spots a Fire Exit.)
RONALD : Er guys?
Isabella : Look.
(Something roars.)
AMY: Okay, whatever that is, it's not real, yeah?
DOCTOR: No. No, I'm sure it isn't, but just in case, let's run away and hide anyway. In here.
(Rita pulls Joe's chair into a room.)
RORY: No, this way! I've found a
(The Fire Exit door becomes room 219.)
YOU ARE READING
The Story of a mad Man with a box series 6 (Doctor Who)
ActionAmy, Isabella Ronald Rory and River Song receive invitations to the Utah desert where they meet the Doctor, who claims to be nearly 200 years older than when they had last seen him and says that he will take them to "Space: 1969". As they dine besid...
