[Hold]
(There is bilge water a few inches deep in here.)
AMY: What is that thing?
AVERY: The legend. The siren. Many a merchant ship laden with treasure has fallen prey to her. She's been hunting us ever since we were becalmed, picking off the injured.
BOATSWAIN: Like a shark. A shark can smell blood.
DOCTOR: Okay. Just like a shark, in a dress. And singing. And green? A green singing shark in an evening gown.
AVERY: The ship is cursed!
DOCTOR: Yeah, right. Cursed is big with humans. It means bad things are happening but you can't be bothered to find an explanation.
RONALD : She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Isabella : Actually, I think you'll find she isn't.
RORY: She is.
AMY: We have to leave right now.
AVERY: That thing of yours really is a ship?
DOCTOR: Well, it's not propelled by the wind.
AVERY: Show me. Weigh anchor. Make it sail.
DOCTOR: And the gun's back. You're big on the gun thing, aren't you. Freud would say you're compensating. Ever met Freud? No? Comfy sofa.
DE FLORRES: Leave the cursed one, Captain. The creature can have him.
RORY: Yes, please.
AVERY: We don't want the siren coming after us.
(Something latches onto Mulligan's bare leg.)
AMY: It's a leech!
DOCTOR: Everyone out of the water!
DE FLORRES: It's bitten me. I'm bleeding.
DOCTOR: She wants blood. Why does she want blood?
Isabella : What were you saying about leaving the cursed ones behind?
DOCTOR: It's okay, we're safe down here. No curse is getting through three solid inches of timber.
(And there she is.)
DOCTOR: Oh! Ah. Hello again.
(De Florres is drawn towards her.)
ALL: No! No! No!
(De Florres explodes, just leaving his hat behind.)[Mess deck]
(A hammock, sacks of food.)
AMY: Safe?
DOCTOR: I have my good days and my bad days.
AVERY: How did she get in?
DOCTOR: Bilge water. She's using water like a portal, a door. She can materialise through a single drop. We need to go somewhere with no water.
Isabella : Well, thank God we're not in the middle of the ocean.
RONALD : Did you see her eyes? Like crystal pools.
Isabella : You are in enough trouble.
AVERY: The magazine.
AMY: What?
DOCTOR: He means the armoury where the powder's stored.
AVERY: It's dry as a bone.
DOCTOR: Good. Let's go there.
AVERY: I give the orders.
DOCTOR: Ah. Worried because I'm wearing a hat now? Nobody touch anything sharp!
Isabella : Come on, Ronald.
(The Boatswain shuffles through his collection of keys.)
AVERY: Quickly, man.
BOATSWAIN: I can't find the key. Tis gone, Cap'n.
AVERY: How can it have gone?
(The door is unlocked.)
DOCTOR: Someone else had the same idea.[Magazine]
AVERY: Barricade the door. Careful of that lantern. Every barrel is full of powder.
DOCTOR: Who's been sleeping in my gun room?
(Someone coughs. Avery opens a barrel and pulls out a boy.)
AVERY: You fool! You fool, boy. What are you doing here?
DOCTOR: Who is he? What, he's not one of the crew?
AVERY: No. He's my son. What in God's name possessed you, boy? Your mother will be searching for you. When?
TOBY: Last winter. Fever. She told me all about you. How you were a Captain in the Navy. An honourable man, she said. How I'd be proud to know you. I've come to join your crew.
AVERY: I don't want you here.
TOBY: You can't send me back. It's too late. We're a hundred miles from home.
AVERY: It's dangerous here. There is a monster aboard. She leaves a mark on men's skin.
TOBY: The black spot?
(Toby has one on his palm. He coughs again. Later -)
AVERY: There's nothing wrong with the boy. He has no scars.
DOCTOR: Yep. Ignore my last theory.
Isabella : He has his good days and his bad days.
DOCTOR: It's not just blood, she's coming for all the sick and wounded, like a hunter chooses the weakest animal.
AMY: Okay, look, he's got a fever. The siren knows it.
DOCTOR: Humans. Second-rate. Damage too easily. It's only a matter of time before everyone gets bruised. My ship, it can sail us all away from here. You and me, we fetch it. Let's go.
AVERY: You're not the Captain here, remember.
(Toby opens a fresh-water barrel and the Siren's hand reaches out. The Doctor forces the lid back down.)
AVERY: The water's dangerous. That's how she gets through. One touch of her hand and you're a dead man.
BOATSWAIN: We're all cursed if we stay aboard.
DOCTOR: It's not a curse. Curse means game over. Curse means we're helpless. We are not helpless. Captain, what's our next move?
AVERY: Wait with the boy.
BOATSWAIN: Captain, we're all in danger here.
AVERY: I said wait. And barricade the door after we've gone.
Isabella : Sure you want to go?
DOCTOR: We have to get Rory Ronald and Toby away. She's out there now, licking her lips, boiling a saucepan, grating cheese.
AMY: Okay. Well, remember, if you get an itch, don't scratch too hard.
DOCTOR: We've all got to go some time. There are worse ways than having your face snogged off by a dodgy mermaid.[Mess deck]
AVERY: Do you want to draw lots for who's in charge, then?
DOCTOR: Darkness? Demon? You can have first go.
(Avery stumbles and nearly puts his hand on a protruding nail head. The Doctor grabs his arm just in time.)
AVERY: Nearly. Phew![Tardis]
AVERY: By all the
DOCTOR: Let me stop you there. Bigger on the inside. Don't mind, do you, if we just skip to the end of that moment? Oh, and sorry I lied, by the way, when I said yours was bigger. Kitchen that way. Choice of bathrooms there, there, there.[Magazine]
RONALD : What's wrong?
Isabella : The most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
RONALD : Oh, tell me I didn't really say that.
AMY: What's going on?
(The Boatswain is unbarracading the door.)
BOATSWAIN: We're not staying here to mollycoddle the boy. The Captain's gone soft. It's time for us to leave.[Tardis]
AVERY: What's this do?
DOCTOR: That does very, very complicated. That does sophisticated. That does whoa, amazing, And that does whizz, bang, far too technical to explain!
AVERY: Wheel?
DOCTOR: Atom accelerator.
AVERY: It steers the thing.
DOCTOR: No. Sort of. Yes.
AVERY: Wheel. Telescope. Astrolabe. Compass. A ship's a ship.
DOCTOR: Oh.[Magazine]
TOBY: He told you to wait, you dog. He's your Captain, a Naval Officer. You're honour-bound to do as he tells you.
BOATSWAIN: Honour-bound? Do you know what kind of ship this is? Do you know what your father does?
Isabella : Don't listen to him, Toby.
BOATSWAIN: We sail under the black flag. The Jolly Roger.
TOBY: Liar! He's no wicked pirate!
BOATSWAIN: Oh, you think so? I have seen your father gun down a thousand innocent men.[Tardis]
DOCTOR: This is how the professionals do it.
(The time rotor stutters.)
DOCTOR: Er, it's stuck. Not responding.
AVERY: Becalmed?
DOCTOR: Mmm hmm. Yeah, apparently. That's new. You had to gloat, didn't you?
AVERY: I'm not gloating.
DOCTOR: I saw that look just now. Ha, ha, his ship is rubbish.
AVERY: True.[Magazine]
BOATSWAIN: Get what treasure you can. I'll meet you in the row boat.
(Toby has found a cutlass.)
TOBY: You're going to remain at your post.
BOATSWAIN: I am not playing games with you, boy. You put that down.
TOBY: One more step and I'll use this, you blaggard.
BOATSWAIN: You don't know how to fight with a cutlass, boy.
TOBY: Don't need to, do I.
(And cuts the Boatswain's hand.)
BOATSWAIN: No[Tardis]
DOCTOR: It can't get a lock on the plane.
AVERY: The what?
DOCTOR: The space we travel in. The ocean. Sort of ocean but not water. The Tardis can't see. It's sulking because it thinks the space doesn't exist. Without a plane to lock onto we're not going anywhere.
AVERY: I'm confused.
DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a big club. We should get T-shirts.
(Jolt, grind.)
DOCTOR: What's happening?[Magazine]
BOATSWAIN: You little swabber!
AMY: Congratulations. You made it to the menu. Probably shouldn't go out there now.
BOATSWAIN: You scurvy ape!
RONALD : Don't shoot. The powder will blow and kill us all.
(Mulligan takes the keys from the Boatswain's belt.)
BOATSWAIN: Mulligan, what are you doing?
(Mulligan leaves.)
Isabella : No honour among pirates.
(The Boatswain puts down his pistol and starts rebuilding the barricade.)
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/256817174-288-k913183.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
The Story of a mad Man with a box series 6 (Doctor Who)
ActionAmy, Isabella Ronald Rory and River Song receive invitations to the Utah desert where they meet the Doctor, who claims to be nearly 200 years older than when they had last seen him and says that he will take them to "Space: 1969". As they dine besid...