The Story of a mad Man with a box series 6 (Doctor Who)

The Curse of the Black Spot Pt 2

[Hold]

(There is bilge water a few inches deep in here.)
AMY: What is that thing?
AVERY: The legend. The siren. Many a merchant ship laden with treasure has fallen prey to her. She's been hunting us ever since we were becalmed, picking off the injured.
BOATSWAIN: Like a shark. A shark can smell blood.
DOCTOR: Okay. Just like a shark, in a dress. And singing. And green? A green singing shark in an evening gown.
AVERY: The ship is cursed!
DOCTOR: Yeah, right. Cursed is big with humans. It means bad things are happening but you can't be bothered to find an explanation.
RONALD : She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Isabella : Actually, I think you'll find she isn't.
RORY: She is.
AMY: We have to leave right now.
AVERY: That thing of yours really is a ship?
DOCTOR: Well, it's not propelled by the wind.
AVERY: Show me. Weigh anchor. Make it sail.
DOCTOR: And the gun's back. You're big on the gun thing, aren't you. Freud would say you're compensating. Ever met Freud? No? Comfy sofa.
DE FLORRES: Leave the cursed one, Captain. The creature can have him.
RORY: Yes, please.
AVERY: We don't want the siren coming after us.
(Something latches onto Mulligan's bare leg.)
AMY: It's a leech!
DOCTOR: Everyone out of the water!
DE FLORRES: It's bitten me. I'm bleeding.
DOCTOR: She wants blood. Why does she want blood?
Isabella : What were you saying about leaving the cursed ones behind?
DOCTOR: It's okay, we're safe down here. No curse is getting through three solid inches of timber.
(And there she is.)
DOCTOR: Oh! Ah. Hello again.
(De Florres is drawn towards her.)
ALL: No! No! No!
(De Florres explodes, just leaving his hat behind.)

[Mess deck]

(A hammock, sacks of food.)
AMY: Safe?
DOCTOR: I have my good days and my bad days.
AVERY: How did she get in?
DOCTOR: Bilge water. She's using water like a portal, a door. She can materialise through a single drop. We need to go somewhere with no water.
Isabella : Well, thank God we're not in the middle of the ocean.
RONALD : Did you see her eyes? Like crystal pools.
Isabella : You are in enough trouble.
AVERY: The magazine.
AMY: What?
DOCTOR: He means the armoury where the powder's stored.
AVERY: It's dry as a bone.
DOCTOR: Good. Let's go there.
AVERY: I give the orders.
DOCTOR: Ah. Worried because I'm wearing a hat now? Nobody touch anything sharp!
Isabella : Come on, Ronald.
(The Boatswain shuffles through his collection of keys.)
AVERY: Quickly, man.
BOATSWAIN: I can't find the key. Tis gone, Cap'n.
AVERY: How can it have gone?
(The door is unlocked.)
DOCTOR: Someone else had the same idea.

[Magazine]

AVERY: Barricade the door. Careful of that lantern. Every barrel is full of powder.
DOCTOR: Who's been sleeping in my gun room?
(Someone coughs. Avery opens a barrel and pulls out a boy.)
AVERY: You fool! You fool, boy. What are you doing here?
DOCTOR: Who is he? What, he's not one of the crew?
AVERY: No. He's my son. What in God's name possessed you, boy? Your mother will be searching for you. When?
TOBY: Last winter. Fever. She told me all about you. How you were a Captain in the Navy. An honourable man, she said. How I'd be proud to know you. I've come to join your crew.
AVERY: I don't want you here.
TOBY: You can't send me back. It's too late. We're a hundred miles from home.
AVERY: It's dangerous here. There is a monster aboard. She leaves a mark on men's skin.
TOBY: The black spot?
(Toby has one on his palm. He coughs again. Later -)
AVERY: There's nothing wrong with the boy. He has no scars.
DOCTOR: Yep. Ignore my last theory.
Isabella : He has his good days and his bad days.
DOCTOR: It's not just blood, she's coming for all the sick and wounded, like a hunter chooses the weakest animal.
AMY: Okay, look, he's got a fever. The siren knows it.
DOCTOR: Humans. Second-rate. Damage too easily. It's only a matter of time before everyone gets bruised. My ship, it can sail us all away from here. You and me, we fetch it. Let's go.
AVERY: You're not the Captain here, remember.
(Toby opens a fresh-water barrel and the Siren's hand reaches out. The Doctor forces the lid back down.)
AVERY: The water's dangerous. That's how she gets through. One touch of her hand and you're a dead man.
BOATSWAIN: We're all cursed if we stay aboard.
DOCTOR: It's not a curse. Curse means game over. Curse means we're helpless. We are not helpless. Captain, what's our next move?
AVERY: Wait with the boy.
BOATSWAIN: Captain, we're all in danger here.
AVERY: I said wait. And barricade the door after we've gone.
Isabella : Sure you want to go?
DOCTOR: We have to get Rory Ronald  and Toby away. She's out there now, licking her lips, boiling a saucepan, grating cheese.
AMY: Okay. Well, remember, if you get an itch, don't scratch too hard.
DOCTOR: We've all got to go some time. There are worse ways than having your face snogged off by a dodgy mermaid.

[Mess deck]

AVERY: Do you want to draw lots for who's in charge, then?
DOCTOR: Darkness? Demon? You can have first go.
(Avery stumbles and nearly puts his hand on a protruding nail head. The Doctor grabs his arm just in time.)
AVERY: Nearly. Phew!

[Tardis]

AVERY: By all the
DOCTOR: Let me stop you there. Bigger on the inside. Don't mind, do you, if we just skip to the end of that moment? Oh, and sorry I lied, by the way, when I said yours was bigger. Kitchen that way. Choice of bathrooms there, there, there.

[Magazine]

RONALD : What's wrong?
Isabella : The most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
RONALD : Oh, tell me I didn't really say that.
AMY: What's going on?
(The Boatswain is unbarracading the door.)
BOATSWAIN: We're not staying here to mollycoddle the boy. The Captain's gone soft. It's time for us to leave.

[Tardis]

AVERY: What's this do?
DOCTOR: That does very, very complicated. That does sophisticated. That does whoa, amazing, And that does whizz, bang, far too technical to explain!
AVERY: Wheel?
DOCTOR: Atom accelerator.
AVERY: It steers the thing.
DOCTOR: No. Sort of. Yes.
AVERY: Wheel. Telescope. Astrolabe. Compass. A ship's a ship.
DOCTOR: Oh.

[Magazine]

TOBY: He told you to wait, you dog. He's your Captain, a Naval Officer. You're honour-bound to do as he tells you.
BOATSWAIN: Honour-bound? Do you know what kind of ship this is? Do you know what your father does?
Isabella : Don't listen to him, Toby.
BOATSWAIN: We sail under the black flag. The Jolly Roger.
TOBY: Liar! He's no wicked pirate!
BOATSWAIN: Oh, you think so? I have seen your father gun down a thousand innocent men.

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: This is how the professionals do it.
(The time rotor stutters.)
DOCTOR: Er, it's stuck. Not responding.
AVERY: Becalmed?
DOCTOR: Mmm hmm. Yeah, apparently. That's new. You had to gloat, didn't you?
AVERY: I'm not gloating.
DOCTOR: I saw that look just now. Ha, ha, his ship is rubbish.
AVERY: True.

[Magazine]

BOATSWAIN: Get what treasure you can. I'll meet you in the row boat.
(Toby has found a cutlass.)
TOBY: You're going to remain at your post.
BOATSWAIN: I am not playing games with you, boy. You put that down.
TOBY: One more step and I'll use this, you blaggard.
BOATSWAIN: You don't know how to fight with a cutlass, boy.
TOBY: Don't need to, do I.
(And cuts the Boatswain's hand.)
BOATSWAIN: No

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: It can't get a lock on the plane.
AVERY: The what?
DOCTOR: The space we travel in. The ocean. Sort of ocean but not water. The Tardis can't see. It's sulking because it thinks the space doesn't exist. Without a plane to lock onto we're not going anywhere.
AVERY: I'm confused.
DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a big club. We should get T-shirts.
(Jolt, grind.)
DOCTOR: What's happening?

[Magazine]

BOATSWAIN: You little swabber!
AMY: Congratulations. You made it to the menu. Probably shouldn't go out there now.
BOATSWAIN: You scurvy ape!
RONALD : Don't shoot. The powder will blow and kill us all.
(Mulligan takes the keys from the Boatswain's belt.)
BOATSWAIN: Mulligan, what are you doing?
(Mulligan leaves.)
Isabella : No honour among pirates.
(The Boatswain puts down his pistol and starts rebuilding the barricade.)