The Story of a mad Man with a box series 6 (Doctor Who)

Closing Time Pt 2

[Children's clothing]

DOCTOR: These funny old power fluctuations which just happen to coincide with the disappearances.
CRAIG: That's just the council putting in new cables, isn't it?
(He stops at an Out Of Order lift.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's it. Mystery solved. Wasting my time. Now, you can go home and I can go to Exedor. Goodbye.
(He uses his sonic screwdriver.)
DOCTOR: And here's the lift.
CRAIG: It says it's out of order.
DOCTOR: Not any more. See? Here to help.
CRAIG: It says danger.
DOCTOR: Oh, rubbish. Lifts aren't dangerous.
CRAIG: Do I look like I'm stupid?
(Alfie makes a comment in Baby. The Doctor laughs.)
DOCTOR: Quiet, Stormy. Oh, all right. There's more.

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Just between you, me and Stormy, don't want to frighten me punters. Someone's been using a teleport relay right here in this shop. Missing people last seen in this area. Before you ask, CCTV's been wiped.
CRAIG: A teleport? A teleport? A teleport like, a beam me up teleport, like you see in Star Trek?
DOCTOR: Exactly. Someone's been using a beam me up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything.
(There are six circles in a circle on the ceiling.)
CRAIG: But a teleport in a shop? That's ridiculous.

[Cybership]

CRAIG: What was that? Was that the lights again?
DOCTOR: (strangled) Yes, that's it. That's all. It's the lights.
CRAIG: Why did you say that like that?
DOCTOR: Like what?
CRAIG: Like that, in that high pitched voice.
DOCTOR: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking.
CRAIG: Why?
DOCTOR: Well, because, because, because I love you.
CRAIG: You love me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. It's you. It's always been you.
CRAIG: Me?
DOCTOR: Is that so surprising?
(The Doctor puts his arms around Craig's neck and uses the sonic screwdriver on whatever it behind the definitely not a lift any more scene behind him.)
CRAIG: Doctor, are you going to kiss me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. Yes, I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback.
CRAIG: Doctor, no. I can't. I'm taken.
(Craig looks behind him.)
CRAIG: Oh, my God!
DOCTOR: Or we could just hold hands if it make you'd feel more comfortable.
(A Cyberman notices them.)
CRAIG: What is happening?
DOCTOR: Well, first of all, I don't really love you, except as a friend.
CRAIG: What is that?

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Quick reverse.
CRAIG: What the hell just happened?

[Children's clothing]

DOCTOR: They must have linked the teleport relay to the lift, but I've fused it. They can't use that again. Stuck up there on their spaceship.

[Soft furnishings]

CRAIG: What were those things?
DOCTOR: Cybermen.
CRAIG: Ship. A spaceship. We were in space?

[Pedestrian precinct]

(After sunset.)
DOCTOR: It's got to be up there somewhere. Can't get a fix. It must be shielded.
CRAIG: But you fused the teleport. You sorted it. They can't come back.
DOCTOR: No, no, no, I've just bought myself a little time. Still got to work out what they're doing before I can stop it.
CRAIG: But if they've got the teleport and they're that evil, why haven't they invaded already?
DOCTOR: Craig, take Alfie and go.
CRAIG: No.
DOCTOR: No?
CRAIG: No. I remember from last time, people got killed. People that didn't know you. I know where it's safest for me and Alfie, and that's right next to you.
DOCTOR: Is that so?
CRAIG: Yeah. You always win. You always survive.
DOCTOR: Those were the days.
CRAIG: I can help you. I'm staying.
DOCTOR: Craig. Craig. All right. All right, maybe those days aren't quite over yet. Let's go and investigate. I mean, there's no immediate danger now.

[Jewellry section]

DOCTOR: Good afternoon, Val.
VAL: Hello.
CRAIG: Where am I investigating?
DOCTOR: Well, look round. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.
CRAIG: So, I'm your baby?
DOCTOR: You're my baby.
(The Doctor hugs Craig. Val smiles indulgently.)
VAL: Hope you don't mind me saying, Doctor, but I think you look ever so sweet, you and your partner and the baby.
DOCTOR: Partner. Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
VAL: Companion sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days.
DOCTOR: You've not noticed anything unusual around here lately, Val?
VAL: Well
DOCTOR: Yes, yes?
VAL: Mary Warnock saw Don Petheridge snogging Andrea Groom outside the Conservative Club on his so-called day off golfing.
DOCTOR: Yeah. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
(The Doctor air-kisses Val and moves away.)
VAL: And then there's that silver rat thing.
DOCTOR: What?

[Ladies underwear]

(The thing that has just scuttled past.)
CRAIG: All right, Alfie, you watch Daddy investigate. You look cute, I'll do the talking.
(He finds Kelly by a rack of bras.)
KELLY: Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you?
CRAIG: Hiya. I'm Craig.
KELLY: Yeah?
CRAIG: Do you mind if I just ask you some questions.
KELLY: You what?
CRAIG: Just between me and you, in confidence, have you noticed anything unusual? Interesting?
KELLY: You what?
CRAIG: Talk to me about ladies wear.
KELLY: George!
(Enter the well built security guard.)
CRAIG: Hi, George. Nice uniform.

[Toy department]

(The Doctor is underneath a table, scanning.)
DOCTOR: A silver rat, glowing red eyes.
VAL: Yes. Then it zizzed off. I wanted to get one for my nephew, but stockroom say there's no such item.
DOCTOR: I bet they do.
VAL: Well, what was it then? Answer me that.

[Ladies underwear]

GEORGE: Can I help you, sir?
CRAIG: Have you seen how cute my baby is? Look at his face. I'm going to head off, actually. All right, whoa.

[Toy department]

CRAIG [OC]: Whoa!
VAL: What's all that hullabaloo?
DOCTOR: Er, that'll be my partner with the er
VAL: Ah.

[Ladies underwear]

(Craig has knocked over a rack of frillies.)
GEORGE: Make a habit of hanging round in women's wear, sir?
CRAIG: I'm sorry. Oh, shush. Alfie, come on.
KELLY: He's a pervert. Look at him.
DOCTOR: Hello, everyone. Here to help.
KELLY: Hello, Doctor.
GEORGE: Hello, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Hello. Has anyone seen a silver rat? No. Okay. Long shot. I see you've met my friend, Craig. Nice uniform, George.
GEORGE: Thank you, Doctor. If he's with you, that's all right, then.
KELLY: Sorry. I thought he was hassling me, because that's the last thing I need today, because Shona's not turned up, right, so I'm doing twice the work for the same money, if you don't mind.
DOCTOR: Shush.
CRAIG: Please teach me how to do that.
DOCTOR: No. Hold on. Un-shush. Shona?
KELLY: My supervisor. She's meant to be in today but never showed up.
DOCTOR: Well, where did you last see her?

[Changing rooms]

CRAIG: How do you do that? It's a power, isn't it. Some sort of weird alien hypnotic power. I bet you excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you.
DOCTOR: Would that I could, Craig.
(The Doctor looks through a curtain and a woman screams.)
DOCTOR: Er, sorry, Madam. I'd try that in red if I were you.
CRAIG: I'm right though, aren't I?
DOCTOR: Well, you love me, I've never excreted any weird alien gases at you.
CRAIG: I don't love you. Don't start that again.
(Alfie gurgles.)
DOCTOR: Yes, I know. Course he does. Of course you do. We're partners.
CRAIG: Yeah, but I did exactly what you would have done, and I nearly got arrested.
DOCTOR: Stormy thinks you should believe in yourself more.
CRAIG: Great. So now my baby's reviewing me.
DOCTOR: Here. Right here. Last night. A Cyberman took Shona.
CRAIG: A Cyberman? I thought it was a little silver rat.
DOCTOR: It's not a rat. It's a Cybermat.
CRAIG: All right. Don't have a go at me just because I don't know the names.