This is it. You have to say goodbye to everyone and everything you've known for the past months and it hurts. This place has become a new home for you, one that has grown you into a person that now doesn't feel the need to be so tough all the time. You've truly change since arriving at Star Killer Base.
You've found your potential and have been able to expand your powers to something you never thought possible. You've grown to be something other than the Emperor's apprentice. You've learned to love.
Forest summons you to the hanger around 08:00am to board your flight back to Exegol and resume your training with Emperor Palpatine. You're truly dreading going back. Who even knows what plans the Emperor has for you? None of them can be good.
You meet Leo at the hanger and its just the two of you, along with all the flight crew that's preparing the ship for you. The engineers run around checking everything while the pilots stop by to check the flight plans.
"How are you?" Leo breaks the awkward silence that consumes the air between the two of you.
"I'm not sure." You answer because feelings aren't really your thing, especially with Leo. When it came to Leo you two were both just training together even if he tried to be friends once in a while.
"It's okay to be vulnerable, you know that right?" He teases you but you know there's some truth to it.
"Yes, I'm well aware of that but I'm not sure what you really want me to say here." You respond to him, half teasing him back.
"I don't know, maybe you should break down into tears and beg for your boyfriend to come save you." He winks and puts his arm lightly around your shoulders.
You roll your eyes but don't move away from his touch because it's nice that even if things are going to shit that you still have Leo by your side.
You hear the doors open to the hanger and see a group of people come in, including Kylo.
He looks like shit but it's great to see him. You've been so busy trying to pack everything up that you didn't have time to give him a private goodbye so it's nice that you'll be able to at least say goodbye to him before you have to board the ship.
You wordless look to each other and suddenly its as if the entire hanger has disappeared. Now it's just the two of you.
Vaguely in the background you hear Leo say his goodbyes to different officers, he wishes them well and says he hopes to be back soon but no one is paying any attention to you or Kylo.
Kylo makes a move towards you and you can see in his eyes that he's not sure what do say. Words can't express how either of you feel right now.
In one swift move, almost so fast you barely have time to react, Kylo pulls you towards him and embraces you. He just holds you for a moment and his hug tells you everything you know he's too scared to say.
He pulls away for just a quick moment and then his lips are on yours, ravishing your taste like it'll be the last time but behind the desperation there's a slight promise one that you know will mean he won't stop until you meet again.
When he pulls his lips from yours he leans down and whispers gently in your ear, almost so softly you barely even comprehend the words before he pulls away entirely and walks away.
"I will come find you and take what is rightfully mine." It's a promise, one that you know he won't stop until he fulfills it and apart of you is scared for him because if he tries to take you, the Emperor won't take it lightly. This will end badly for him.
You watch Kylo swiftly walk away, almost like he's trying to escape the hanger entirely but just before he passes the doorway he pauses and just when you think he'll turn and give you one last final glance he continues to walk away. Your heart sinks, the full sadness of your forced leave is finally hitting you at a force you did not expect.
You will miss this place.
- ON THE SHIP HOME-
"I think I'm going to miss that place." Leo sounds so casual about leaving but you on the other hand feel as though someone just stabbed you through the heart with a lightsaber.
"Yeah. Me too." You say and your voice sounds more robotic than usual but Leo doesn't notice it.
"I'm going to miss going out on missions the most. The Emperor always insists on doing the assignment then immediately coming back. The Knights of Ren were fun." Leo reminisces and you know he's thinking about Coruscant.
"Yeah. I'll miss the Knights too." You reply, thinking about the mission to Coruscant for different reasons but ultimately realize that even with the shitty thing that almost happened to you, you still had fun on that mission. And of course, you'll miss the Knights too, but mostly you'll just miss Kylo.
"What do you think he'll have us do when we get back?" Leo turns to you, changing the subject.
"I don't know, but it can't be anything good." You reply, replaying his holograms over and over. He was so angry.
"Yeah, you're probably right." Leo suddenly looks nervous and you know he's probably replaying the holograms in his mind as well.
"We'll be fine." You say to try and reassure him but even to yourself, your voice sounds shaky.
"You don't think he'd kill us, right?" He says, now worried.
You know that he's looking to you for reassurance but there's nothing you can say to make him feel better because even you have no idea what the Emperor will do to you when you get back to Exegol. He could very well be planning on killing you both and replacing you. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary for him to do so.
The rest of the trip back to Exegol is a painfully silent one. Neither you nor Leo want to address the very real possibility that you might be heading straight for your death. The best thing you can do now is to not betray how you're feeling. Staying neutral now would be your best form of defense.
The ship lands and you make eye contact with Leo as the hatch opens up. Both of you silently communicating to the other about your worries but neither of you are brave enough to voice them.
A man steps into view at the bottom of the hatch. His face remains impassive so if he's been sent here to bring you to death, his facial expressions don't expose him. His eyes flash to both Leo and you but his face betrays nothing.
"The emperor would like to see you both. Immediately." His voice is monotone but has a ring of authority to it.
Leo turns his head to you, waiting for your lead but instead you stare straight ahead, nod in acknowledgment and start walking towards the Emperor's lair without a word. Leo follows quickly behind you, trying to keep pace with you.
You reach the entrance of the Emperor's lair and the two guards stare blankly at you before nodding and opening the doors.
You mentally prepare yourself for the shit-storm you're about to walk into. You know the Emperor is disappointed, mainly at you and they'll be hell to pay for your actions during your time on Starkiller.
"My apprentices, welcome home!" The Emperor stated with fake excitement.
"Thank you Master." You and Leo both say together.
Emperor Palpatine's smile shifts into a dark smirk and you can feel whats coming next. Your punishment.
"My pets," He address you both, "I'm sure you're both wondering what my plan is with the two of you know that you're home." He pauses, waiting for a shift in yours or Leo's moods. If he senses a change he doesn't let on.
"I've decided that you both weren't ready for such an important assignment and I'm disappointed in both of you. I've wasted too much of my time for you to be weak. So, to fix this I will no longer be soft on the two of you. You will both need to prove to me that you are truly valuable to me, or else I'll have you dealt with accordingly." He tells both of you smuggly and you know that he's about to make your life hell.
"Yes Master." You and Leo respond, knowing that saying anything else now will get you killed.
"You may go now. Your new training starts at dawn." He says, looking down on the both of you with a smirk.
It's currently dusk so you have all night to prepare yourself for whatever torture the Emperor may have in store for you. That gives you plenty of time to compose yourself. You don't want to exhibit embarrassing behaviors on night one back.
You and Leo walk back to your living quarters in complete silence. You both are thinking the same thing anyways so there's no point in discussing it, besides even the smallest thing will get the two of you in trouble.
You and Leo have adjoining quarters close to the Emperor's. He liked to keep his apprentices nearby in case he wanted to train at a moments notice. When you were first brought here it bothered you but you grew to be used to it with time. He would order you and Leo out of bed for more torturous lessons that would leave you both mentally and physically exhausted.
At the time you feed off the energy. You used to love it. You loved the power it made you feel afterwards. Now you just feel empty thinking about it. You feel empty because you wasted so much of your life on trying to be this perfect little robot for the Emperor and for the dark side. You were just a pawn.
The walk is short but your mind is racing. You know you should keep your thoughts to a minimum because it is almost guaranteed that the Emperor is listening in on them and you'll be punished for that later but for now, you can't find the energy to care because you're too distracted by the tone of your thoughts. You've never felt sad in this way before. It can only be described as homesick. Homesick for Star Killer and the life you had built there because life here was empty and you miss how safe and appreciated you felt with Kylo.
Leo stops in front of his door. He turns to you and you can tell just from the look on his face that you both miss Star Killer. You've both changed so much and it's hard to be back here, stuck in a past where you're both expected to be completely different from how you are now. The Emperor demands excellence and once upon a time that would have been easy for you but now it feels like you've grown into something the Emperor would never approve of. You're a different person now. A better one.
"What do you think he'll make us do?" Leo turns and asks you and his tone is filled with dread. He's feeling the same thing you are and you remember that you and Leo are in this together.
"I don't know." You answer honestly, "But whatever it is, can't be good." Leo looks disappointed by your answer but you both know its true. The Emperor is unpredictable. He'd kill you without a moments hesitation and not feel the least bit of sympathy for it.
Leo silently goes into his room like a scorned puppy, while you try and get yourself together. You used to be so strong mentally. Nothing would be able to get to you but it seems that you've changed so drastically over your time on StarKiller that you're almost unrecognizable as the person you once was. You hope the Emperor doesn't notice this sudden shift in your personality because if he does it could lead to more than just a small punishment. He'd never stand for it.
You take a deep breath to steady yourself, then finally step into your quarters. You'll need a good nights sleep if you want to make it through tomorrow alive.
You fall asleep almost as soon as you lay down but sometime in the middle of the night you're woken by a crashing sound. It startles you and you quickly sit up in bed. Only, you don't see anything but the crashing doesn't stop, you hear something being slammed into what sounds like metal and a grunting sound coming from a deep, manly voice.
The sound is so close to you, it almost feels like its in the same room as you. You get up and out of bed, looking around for this mystery source and that's when you spot him.
Kylo.
He looks awful, like he hasn't showered or changed since you last saw him and now he's in a violent rage. He pulls out his saber and he's slashing through anything within range. He's shirtless and seemingly alone in his room, although he could be yelling at someone that you can't see.
You're in shock. You'd never thought you'd see him again and now fate has brought him right back to you. It's amazing. But why now? The force did this once before while you were on Canto Bright (check that). You had wondered why the force brought you two together and maybe it had been a fluke but now you know it was meant to be. This connection you two have is special. Like soulmates.
"Kylo?" You say in an uncertain voice, you don't know if this is the best time to disturb him but you don't know if you'll get another chance like this again so you better take it.
He stills with his saber in his hand. His back is turned to you so you can't see his face but you see his back straighten as he recognizes your voice. He turns his saber off and drops it to the ground but he's still facing away from you.
"Kylo." You call for him, desperate to just see his face.
He turns slowly, as if he can't believe he's hearing your voice.
He calls your name. A starstruck look fills his face and he smiles. His mood changes in a matter of nanoseconds from seeing you. He'd thought he'd lost you.
"I'm here." You step closer and you can feel the force pulling you towards him like just being in his range is where you belong.
"How?" He asks, as he reaches for you and your hands touch, sending a current of electricity through you.
"The force. It's connecting us." You answer, looking at where your hands connect together.
How could this be happening again? Once was already suspicious, but for it to happen again and for it to only happen when the two of you are apart. This isn't just the two of you wanting to see each other. This is the force wanting you two together. It's meant to be.
"Again?" You snap your gaze to his. So he remembers too?
"I don't understand it either." You say, knowing neither of you can explain this.
"It's the force." He answers with certainty. You've both reached the same conclusion.
"It wants us together." You finish his answer for him.
"Why though?" He's starting to pace around his quarters and you know that if you both don't figure it out tonight this will eat at him.
"Look, I'm not too sure. I think it has something to do with us being apart. The only other time we've been connected through the force is when I was away on a mission. I think it has something to do with that." You tell him.
He stops and it's like a lightbulb goes off in his head. He turns and you can see his thoughts working together on his face.
"We can't be apart. The force won't allow it." He says and he's not making any sense. Why would the force care about the two of you being together?
"What are you talking about?" You think he sounds crazy.
"The force is drawing us together. We're meant to be together and when we're apart it pulls us back to each other." He takes your hands in his and everything clicks. This man is your destiny and the only thing standing in your way from him is...
The Emperor.
He'd never allow you and Kylo to have a relationship and he'd never allow you to go back to StarKiller Base. If he even found out about you and Kylo then everything you've every worked for, all your training would have been for nothing.
"Wait." You pull away from Kylo, taking your hands from his. He looks hurt but quickly covers it with a look of indifference.
"What?" He asks, now taking a step back from you as well.
"The Emperor. He'd kill me if he even suspected that I was unfocused and especially if he found out I'd fallen in love with you. I can't leave and come back. He'd kill me." You try to explain because knowing the Emperor he would have you killed if he so much as thought you had been anything but hyper focused during your time at StarKiller.
"I can deal with the Emperor. Let me talk to him." Kylo tries to reason but he just doesn't understand. Kylo didn't train with the Emperor, he doesn't know how brutal his methods of teaching truly are.
"He'd kill you too, without even blinking an eye. The Emperor has already set for Leo and I to go through punishment. I can't have you be getting in the middle of this." You know that if Kylo so much as steps on Exegol, he's as good as dead.
"What kind of punishment?" Kylo asks you.
"Nothing that I'm not used to." You answer quickly but you know he'll push the subject further.
"What are you not telling me?" He demands, giving you that stern look that makes your knees go weak.
"The Emperor thinks that being rough is the best way to learn and maybe he's right because I'm one of the best trained apprentices he's ever had." You explain, trying to make the brutal abuse you've been through sound light because you know Kylo will worry.
"He's been abusing you? For years?" He says in disbelief.
"I can take his teaching style. You don't need to worry about me. He'd kill you if you try anything." You try to reason with him.
"I'm coming to get you. I'm taking you home." He says, not listening to your warnings at all.
"Kylo-" Then he's gone. Just like that and there's no time to try and tell him that he can't come. If he comes he'll die. The Emperor will kill him and you'll lose the love of your life.
But, of course. Kylo will come and save you whether you need it or not.
Author's Note: Hello everyone! So... I've been thinking of rewriting this story a bit. You know how the first chapters are a little rough? I'm planning on changing them to be much better, while also changing y/n to be an OC character so for all you readers, it will be a much smoother read. What do you think? Please let me know!