Let me tell you why I don't want to hang out with people.
Nothing sucks more than watching every word that comes out of your mouth so your precious friend will not get offended. Let's be real, humans are oversensitive motherfucking bastards. One glitch of what you say will affect how they treat you afterwards. Now don't tell me friends won't mind. Friends mind the most. That's the cause of friendship wars in the first place. If John says, in a spontaneous flow of a conversation with Dick, says how a dick his boss is, and Dick gets offended on the fact that his name is being used as a reference to a batshit boss, then John is fucking screwed.
"Hey, John. What did you just say?"
"Huh? Ah--nevermind."
"No, you said something that involves my name."
"Of course everything we talk about involves your name."
"Oh now we're talking. So you're saying I'm a dick?"
"No I'm saying we're boys and we're always talking about dicks and stuff."
"No we're not."
"Yes we are. Remember, five minutes ago, you talked about how little Johnson at the office had a boner in front of you and you said, and I quote 'What a little cutesy dick he has'? Right? Even with a boner? That it's cute? And why the hell would Johnson do a boner in front of you? What are you? A stripper or something?"
"Take that back you bitch."
Then they fight. Not with their dicks, of course.
And I don't really want to listen to dramas. People are being full of themselves that they still believe that the world revolves around them and every little detail of their lives should be told to the next person that coincidentally has ears.
"Oh man my nostrils just got stressed yesterday because of sneezing. Have you ever had colds?"
But they will not wait for you to reply to that question.
"I had colds, man, and it's the shittiest feeling ever. Ever. You know when you sneeze every five goddamned seconds and it's fucking stressing you out? You experienced that shit?"
Still they will not wait for you to speak up.
"Yeah, it sucks, man. Really, really."
Like, fuck your colds, dude. Shut the fuck up.