SINCE DAY ONE ― luke hemmings...

Being a smartass isn't so effective when you're locked in between the arms of a man taller and bigger than you, all while holding on your waist with fervent passion it was enough to make my womanhood all woozy. "My place it is." I couldn't even remember how we went from Point A, the nightclub, to Point B, his room. I just blinked, and all of a sudden he's all my eyes could ever focus on. Taking it all in before trusting the sweet promise of his soft lips.

We were in sync while I melted within his touch filled with needing, desire, almost demanding each other's grasp my breath shakes. It was slow, and careful, comforting even if my resolute continued to shatter. Pulling him closer to my chest it felt like I could feel his heart beating the same way as mine.

Fast, skipping, and definitely yearning for more.

It nearly knocked the wind out of my lungs when my back slammed on the bed. Completely unprepared no matter how many times moments like these had already happened. To think I could handle all the pieces of me together, I still found them scattered about when his lips delved deeper down to my jaw.

Luke was a force of nature so loud my heart exploded fireworks when he hovered his lips in mine. He lifted his head slowly, those ocean eyes staring right at me that I chuckled, possibly to ease the tension forming in this cloud of dream. "I keep forgetting how much I love your lips." I said, breathing slow while he still held me on his grasp.

"Should I kiss you harder then? One that you'll never forget." Shit.

"Luke." I said, gathering my scattered sanity from his words. "I—uh, I think we should take things slow. Just up until we could talk about everything." His fingers laced over the hair at my cheeks, tucking the strands behind my ear and dipped his lips down to my forehead.

"Whenever you're ready, bub. I'm here."

*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*

Three hours.

That's how long it took for me to find a wifi in the middle of a big venue, large enough to have over seven thousand in capacity but apparently not large enough to cater a wifi that would possibly be very helpful at this time of day wherein I have to upload the latest diary just before we leave Paris for good. That, and I was spazzing the hell out from drinking two coffees just because I thought sleeping for three hours was a power nap. Apparently, it's not, and it's one hell of a massive headache banging in my head since set-up began.

"Quit stressing out over the numbers. It's gonna upload with or without an audience." A figure waltz beside me, holding a cup of coffee that smelled delightful all the while handing me over a cup of bland water.

"It's unfair I get to have water and you get all the fun in the world." I grabbed it as he chuckled, his hands going over the ample of my cheeks, pulling me close until his lips found mine. Fuck. That tasted like coffee. And the good freaking kind!

"Perks of being a rockstar, bub." He sat on the sofa while I took comfort on the floor, staring at the percentage of the upload as if I could terrorize it into going faster when a pair of hands made their way into my temple and started massaging it. "I said, quit stressing out." I groaned from the touch, tossing my head back that he offered me a smile before reaching my forehead and giving it a small peck.

"Oh my god, do I have to see that again everyday?!" Calum's voice interjected my fun little moment that I flipped him off amidst a sleep deprived fit, and urged Luke to keep doing what he's doing.

"Believe me. I try my hardest to ignore it!" Ashton followed, forgetting he was sitting in front of the mirror while doing the glitter in his lids.

"You didn't even see half of what I did! They wouldn't stop kissing!" Michael retorted, surprising me for a second there for having zero awareness with my surroundings at all and blaming it all on lack of sleep—and Luke.

After that night, I could vividly remember he insisted to stay at my room the whole night while he watched me finished the bottle of whisky I managed to sneak out of the bar. I remember passing out on his chest after kissing him endlessly, and then there's bits about him bringing me waffles when I woke up—and not see him again until the evening where he decided to come over again. At that point, all we did was kiss and hold each other tight, deciding to just sleep off the rest of the day, only for me to wake up in the middle of the night when Kyle lost the files he needed and I was able to retrieve it after so many hours.

Which thoroughly explained why I only got three hours of sleep, and why Luke and I are—well, I can't say we're together.

Not until I could finally tell him all the truth. Only then will I know if he wants us to be—together together.

Initially, I planned on telling him all about it after the tour was over. But I figured it'll be a long time of wait and knowing Luke and his impatient ass, he'll get it out of me so I thought about it real hard. There were many things that hindered me from doing so. A) It could ruin his performance if he gets pissed of at me again, B) No time is the right time if I thought about it, and C) It was bound to come up any day now so I guess I'll just shoot for the stars and grab the next good moment soon as it presented itself.

I was not ready—but I have to be if I was gonna straighten everything up.

"Hey, you guys coming later? We'll see the festival after the gig." Calum said, holding a can of beer early in the freaking morning. I guess there's never a wrong time for beer anyway.

"If Theo doesn't pass out after our set, we'll go." I slapped Luke's knee that he held me tight and kiss the top of my head. Ah. Butterflies.

"I said—stop." Mikey threw us his pair of star wars socks that apparently hit me square in the face. "Kissing is only allowed in rooms!"

"But this is a room!" Technically, we're in the dressing room and I should've been filming for content but Luke hid my camera somewhere here in the mess of their wardrobe and appointed me to sit tight and relax—which was impossible if I don't get the video up today.

"She got you there, mate." Cal quipped, "So, since you two are fine and dandy again, I think we ought to get our story right." Luke's fingers stopped its motion in my head and I was only able to absorb the words when I opened my eyes and the boys started making their way to the other couch.

"What story?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Are you two gonna be out in the public this time around or?" Oh. That story.

"In my humble opinion, if I may." Ash raised his hand, all glittered up for the gig. "I think the setup before was fine. No issues, no nasty headlines about you two, and nobody messing with your business. But that's only my opinion and that's what worked before." My eyes spun around on Luke where he pursed his lips and nodded, intertwining our fingers together that he looked at me and spoke.

"I think it's a discussion for another day. Just until we talk about everything." It all lies whether when I'll finally have the balls to tell the truth. "For now, I feel like it's best if we keep it. If that's alright with you?" He pertained to me, and honestly, I was all for it. It may be a bit annoying sometimes, from every wrong speculations to when he gets set up with a random girl every week. My jealousy almost always won but at the end of the day, Luke was all mine and nothing could ever change that.

Even if it's only a handful of people that knew about us.

"It's a great idea for the meantime. This tour is focused solely on you and your fans. It's enough that they know I'm back." I tried opening my social media accounts the other day and it was least to say that I'm bombarded with photos and mentions again. I forgot about that life for so long that going back was a big culture shock, right in the face. That's why I just lurked around a bit, found the time to update some of it, and went back to muting it or else my phone will probably explode with notifications every minute.

"Ohhhhh, an if walls could talk moment again!" The three idiots started singing their song out loud I was left to burying my head on Luke's lap and just let them get over it.

"If these walls could talk, I hope they wouldn't say anything! Because they've seen way too many things!"

"Our friends are assholes." I whispered, earning a laugh from him as he pulled me up to the couch and snuggled me on his chest. A minute later—he started singing with them the exact same time Kyle bursted in the room with a camera at hand.

"Hey, man, join in! We're doing a little ritual song!" Ashton played it loud on the speaker and soon, while my head splits into two, everyone around me was in a goddamn musical.

It's a wonder up to this day how we managed to keep it all in while my best friends sing around a song evidently for our relationship.

How?!

*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*

They were able to finish the whole Youngblood album and it was heaven sent they finally got called in. It's ten minutes to intro and we were all huddled at the backstage with everyone else running round for final touches. I was sitting on a crate because I still couldn't find my camera, and I'm still waiting impatiently for the video I probably cursed so much at since staring at it this morning.

"It's a fifty-minute set and you decided to wear a lot of sleeves!" Calum bellowed, his eyes towards Mike's longsleeve and another dark jacket over like he was all ready for winter.

"It's fashion. You'll never understand it." He retorted, meant to offend our resident bassist when he relented and pose. Bragging his fancy button down and high heeled boots I was honestly jealous.

"Excuse you. I am, in fact, learning. And a double sleeve combo means hell onstage." Oh, sassy.

"Why don't you let him sweat his ass off and you chill the hell out with your three inch heels." Ashton went in between the blubbering mess and I found a certain man who can't stop looking at me even if I was trying my best to ignore it. He drew close, his hands at either side of my leg while a guitar lingered around his shoulders.

"You know, we're in public, right?" I say, setting aside the laptop while he looked at me like that again. Like I was willing to melt in his embrace once more.

"Are we? I think I'm blind." I chuckled, pushing him over on his face but he didn't go, he just—went even closer.

"If you are then why do you keep looking at me?" He shrugged.

"I guess I just miss you too much." He laid his head over my shoulders that surprised me—and amused Kyle when he went on to raise his camera. I managed to flip him off before lifting Luke's head off and making him remember about the agreement they set in stone with the ridiculous ritual a while ago. "I—I don't wanna keep hiding in the dark anymore." Luke sighed, holding tight in my hands and keeping me ground when I felt like floating again.

"The right time's gonna come soon. I promise." I brushed his hair right that he pulled back and nodded, squeezing my hand tight when their intro finally started and the boys huddled around together shaking their nerves off.

Luke turned back and I stood up to watch with Kyle in front of the stage—when he looked back again and rushed his feet towards me. My heart skipping a beat once, twice, a hundred times, and brushed his lips with mine. I moaned, I guess I did. And he pulled away much too fast than I would've wanted, "I love you, Theo." I never had the chance to say it back when the boys groaned in feign disgust and pulled him away from me, running right at the center while hyping up the crowd.

"Bonjour, Paris!" Luke yelled on the microphone, "This first song is dedicated for all you lovers out there." The crowd squealed out loud, "And for the love of my life, too."

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

"This is for you, Theo. I'm really happy to have you back in my life again."

*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*

I SAID WHAT I SAID

pls stay tuned
i have so much
in store for ya'll