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Vienna was our next agenda after Milan and it is the first time since the tour that I was genuinely excited for the day.
"There's something you're not telling me and I'm gonna find it out once this hangover goes away. I promise you." Kyle, who I woke up hastily in an attempt for revenge, had to endure nine hours of flight with me again and I feel like I was hard on him so I managed to keep in the vomit by sleeping so much that when we reached there by morning, I was perfectly fine. And he still has a hangover.
"How the hell do you get a nine hour hangover?! How much did you drink last night?" I asked while doing the honors of grabbing our bags on the belt.
"I don't know. Can't remember much, honestly. Cal just gave me so much to drink the next thing I know—I was with this girl and I think—" He looked at me sheepishly that I just laugh and shook my head.
"No. You didn't. I got you home safely without a girl. Unless you're keeping her in your pocket?" He elbowed me and while still laughing, we rolled our bags to the exit where a van was already waiting for us. "I refused to believe you're with some girl. You're with Cal until you guys went out!"
"I know I was with a girl. Look! There's an unknown number that texted me a while ago." He showed his phone and there was a greeting with a winking face.
"Well, you're probably not gonna see her again so I'm sorry for that." He pouted and breathe heavily just as soon as we entered the van. Finding Kat already sleeping by the front while there were two other free chairs behind.
"We don't know that." Kyle retorted and I was amused.
"Fine. Let's wager. A hundred bucks?" I laid my hand as we sat that he looked eager on agreeing.
"Deal." He shook my hands and I didn't wanna believe it'll all be fruitful—but who knows? Right? I mean—I got at this tour never believing I'd be able to talk to Luke again, but here we are now. "Wait—why was I drunk and you weren't?"
"Because I chose to drink water." I say, dodging the question because I feel like keeping that small moment as a secret for a while. It's nice to think about it over and over like a cute highschool crush.
"I'll found out about it, Theo. Might as well tell me now." I gestured a zipping mouth with throwing the key away that he just shook his head. If I know, he'll get his ways of finding about it but until then, I'd like to keep it safe in my head. "Oh, look! They released the album just now." He showed me his phone and in complete playlist were their newly released music—and I found it hard to escape the temptation the reason why I went ahead and listened to it on the way to another hotel.
I recognized the other songs from their previews on the first two concerts but I did not expect such level of music—that it made me fully realized their craft was maturing with them. They used to do all teenage anthems before but here we are. Here they are. Writing about a love that hurts and makes your heart happy all at the same time. It's such a roller coaster feeling of nostalgia. All the ups and down and even if the songs were just released?
I may have added another one on my favorites.
Twelve songs and half an hour later, we reached our new hotel although this time, it isn't as luxurious as we had on Milan but it still had the right amount of posh I probably could never afford on a normal day. Sadly, we hadn't had the chance of touring ourselves around the rooms given to us when Kat called immediately for us to go right to the venue that I had to carry a big bag of essentials just so I could edit all at the same time.
There was no room for rest when I found myself sitting at an empty bench a few feet away from backstage. They were going to perform in an open field today and I think I prayed enough for the weather not to act up because I really had so much to do when Kat asked for the first video to be released next week.
Kyle and I decided to sit at two different benches—what with all the equipment sprawled around the place not leaving a space for anyone more that we merely waved at each other jokingly once in a while. "I got the first half, you can get the concert. That alright with you?" He says, putting his bag right under my table for safekeeping while he covered a content for today.
"That's actually more than fine with me." I say, taking it as a chance to watch my boys onstage all the while enjoying a free concert. Years and years of watching them and I couldn't find a single reason not to be excited for more.
"I'm gonna find out what it is, Theo. And I have an inkling feeling it has something to do with a certain vocalist." I rolled my eyes, swatting him away just then to focus on transferring videos to my laptop while enjoying the cold breeze around me. I've never been in Vienna but it we only had the chance to roam around, would it be as beautiful as everyone says it to be?
One could only hope now. Because later on, it's another flight for me and another wretch fest awaiting.
"Theodora!" A frown immediately appeared on my forehead from the call of my whole name that I turned hastily to tell that person off when I found that—of course, it was just Ashton Irwin wearing a very expensive button down.
"I'm gonna beg you not to call me that again, please?" He grinned a cheeky smile, sitting right across from me while he looked at all the devices on the table.
"Wow. I forgot how much work you put into this." I chuckled, keeping some of the drives on my bag so he could have a place to move around a bit. "We never hung out with the old photographers. We kinda—you know..."
"What?"
He pursed his lips, "Took our time away from the cameras and diaries. Because—Luke." A small oh escaped my lips before I feel like getting anxious once again. The nightmare of it all raining down on me that I feel like he could see when he widen his eyes and tried laughing it off. "Hey, hey! Theo. Come on. It's all in the past, right? It doesn't define who we are right now. People can learn."
"But people can't just... forget."
"True. But things takes time." Luke said that, too. "What's done is done and all we can do now with the time we have left is forgive and learn from the mistakes we've made."
"When have you ever been an advice guru?" I smiled, a bit touched that he didn't hate me as much as I thought they all would.
"Just recently. I'm getting older, Theo. It's time to face the music." We laugh, as my hands fumbled around on the laptop to check on the videos before he spoke again, "Hey, Theo? I—uh, I'm not gonna ask what happened to you. And I'm not gonna ask why you left. Why what happened, happened. All I'm asking you now is—are you finally willing to stay?"
"Ash... I—"
"I don't know what happened with you and Luke. One day, he couldn't even bear hearing your name but today, he said your name again."
"H-He did?"
"Mhmm. He did alright! And it all caught us offguard that he said your name without—you know." I know. "So, I'm not gonna ask about that. It you and Luke's, as everything has always been, but I feel like it's well within the bestfriend rights for me to ask if you won't... do that again to him." I bit my lip, looking down filled with shame all of a sudden I didn't know how to explain everything.
If only I had that fucking courage. "I know you love him, Theo. Hell, you loved him since day one! Things almost always fall apart but it doesn't mean that things are suddenly over. But I'm not here to pressure you or tell you what to do. I'm just here because you're my best friend, Theo. We might've lost our ways at some point but I love you, alright?" I stood up immediately and gave him a hug. One tight enough that calmed my heart from pounding so loud all the while at the verge of crying just because of the amount of love they have for me.
That even if I did something so shitty, they're still there for me. "Thank you, Ash. I love you guys so much." He stood up and bear hugged me I suffocated under his button down that I quickly pulled away and patted it flat. "I'm ruining your Gucci shirt."
He laughed, all tongue out his eyes were almost missing. "It's just a shirt. A hug is more important." He hugged me again one final time before pulling away and patting me at my shoulders. "Oh, hey! I remembered the other reason why I came." Ash looked down at the table and pointed to the camera, "Is this alright to use?" I nod, brushing my hair away while wondering what he was about to do when he pushed the shutter and pointed it at me.
"Ashton Irwin!!"
"Welcome back, Theo!" He filmed me whilst I covered half of my face. It was just so ridiculous I'm gonna make sure it's gonna be deleted. "Hey! Put that in the Italy video, alright?" I shook my head, snatching the camera while chuckling.
"No way in hell. Look! My hair's all over the place!"
"As if they've never seen a photo of you half asleep already!" Ashton retorted, smiling for the final time as he started walking away backwards. "I'll see you later, alright?" I merely nod, stifling an urge to cry and donning myself to work because the talk we've had started going circles in my mind again.
I—I wanted to tell the truth. But it's too much for me and too much for all of them. For Luke. To sink in the fact that I was gone and I almost died and he wasn't there. He's gonna feel like shit and I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my whole life. It feels like no matter what I do, I'm going to be in a loop of regret. If I don't tell him, I'm lying to him straight in his face. If I tell him, he'll be so mad at me and I feel like I'm not gonna see him again after that.
I'm overthinking!
I'm supposed to be working!
Just focus on the work, and think about it along the way.
Yeah. That looks more promising. Barely promising. Still.
"Hey." My hands slipped over the trackpad when I heard that voice and I didn't know whether to look up or cry or scream. "Is it alright if I sit here?" No! Yes? No!
"S-Sure." Yeah, go ahead, Theo. Prolong the agony!
"Ash said you're hanging out alone in here." That cheeky bugger!
"Y-Yeah. I'm editing your videos in Italy." I said I didn't wanna look but I'd be lying to myself. So, I went ahead and gazed at him, one corner of his lip slightly upward in a small smile while wearing a plain white shirt. And he had sunglasses over his hair. And—wow. I have no words. "I—uh, listened to your new album."
"Yeah? What do you think?"
"It's amazing. Really. I feel like you've reached another peak. You know."
"Peak?" His sweet laugh was like music to my ears, "Well, thank you." The silence enveloped us again and I wondered if I let it, he'll go away. I wonder if he'll realize I wasn't that worth of his time—"Can I see?" Luke spoke, making me jump a bit after realizing my head was overthinking shit again.
But I nodded, recovering from that nasty anxiety and showed him the screen. "Woah. That's a lot of videos for five days."
"I know. Kyle had your photos while I have the videos so it's a fair amount of content that your fans could live off of for days." His smile widened when he laughed, as if it brightened everything else around him, too.
Although while turning back the screen to mine, I accidentally hovered over the trackpad and clicked the newest video I just transferred—the one Ashton made. And Luke halted me halfway from turning it completely as he stared right at it.
When will the earth swallow me to the ground? I look so ridiculous there! Like I didn't shower for days. "I like that bit. Keep it." What did he just said?
"I don't know... I feel like I shouldn't. It's a 5sos diary I—"
"But you are 5sos." I opened my mouth to say something yet came up sooooo short for answers until his phone rang. Alerting me at the same time when mine alarmed, saying it's already fifteen minutes 'til the concert starts. "I should go back." He stood, on his way to go when he stopped and turned once again.
"Keep it for me?"
I hate myself for whimpering yes.
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Kyle relieved me from the table when it was my turn to film a content for the concert. I wore the bucket hat and glasses not because I was still hiding, the jig was up since that night of unexpected introductions, but because it's so freaking hot even if it's still past noon and I didn't wanna suffer from sunburn, thank you.
I squeezed my way in the crowd, earning a few looks I was still able to dodge as I walk closer to the stage up until I reached the middle of the barricade where I set up a few of the things I'll be needing all while waiting for the concert to finally start.
It didn't take long though, and the lights all flickered just when the sun went down. There were all flashing neon lights above the nightsky it was so beautiful and the sound of squealing fans made it all so exciting. The intro played just then and I took it as a time to film the crowd, all their banners up above and the balloons they were all passing around. Just as the scream went louder, I knew they were already up on the stage, and upon looking, I was not disappointed.
They all looked abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.
"Good evening, Vienna! We've set up a special mix into the setlist and the first one's an oldie. So if you know it, sing with us!" Ashton started dropping the beats just then and I knew from it enough the song they were going to sing.
"I don't wanna say goodbye to another night and watch you walk away. And I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights and make the same mistakes, this time!" I stopped myself from singing or else I'll hear something screeching dead on my recording but I was screaming all the lyrics off in my head.
Just enough to make me jump around from being so excited.
"I don't wanna say goodbye to another night. I don't wanna let it burn in the city lights..."
The set all had the songs mixed from old and new but I kept my hands up top for more promising contents until they reached the final song. Kyle appeared just then, holding my bag for me as he stood beside, asking me just how long of content I got when the fans screamed something right at the very end of their song. "Encore!" I filmed it, and it was going to be a pretty good part in the video if the band honored it.
"That's already 18 songs!" Kyle whispered right next to me, making me laugh.
"Encore? Wow! Did we forget to sing something?" Calum asked, making everybody scream so loud I knew what it is that they missed.
"They missed one key song to every concert ever." He scrunched up his brows in curiosity when—someone that saw me wide eyed at the very front of the crowd, screamed something equally horrifying.
"THEO'S SONG!"
It garnered enough people to scream those exact same words—that even the boys at the stage looked and laugh. "They made you—a song?!" Kyle asked in between the chants that made me wanna run. I was already looking left and right. Gauging whether what's the most fastest way home.
"No. T—They just branded me that after a photo of me wearing American Apparel." This cannot be happening. Right? It's a dream. It's a dream.
"Alright! I knew it was a bad idea to remove that song." Luke stared at me and winked and I have to hold on to something before I fall. "Everyone! Theo's song!" Everyone screamed just enough when the intro for that song started and my knees were already turning into jelly. Holy shit. They're doing it.
"There's a photo of you in underwear?!" Kyle once again, exclaimed right beside me while I was so busy drooling off of my crush as he started singing.
"It's summer!"
"But in underwear?!"
"It's a one piece!"
"She looks so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear!"
Oh my god.
Did he just pointed at me?! I'm gonna faint.
"His underwear, Theo!"
"It's my underwear and I'm gonna slap you, Kyle!"
"I found myself alone just thinking if I showed up with a plane ticket and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it, would you wanna run away too? 'Cause all I really want is you!" Luke sang Calum's line for some weird reason together with calling it Theo's song. And I—I feel like I was floating in a dream.
I raised my phone up top to capture my newest favorite moment in the whole world right now.
"And I know now that I'm so down!"
*・。*゜・。・o゜・。*゜・。・o*゜・。・o*
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