Ps: everything in bold are manik's flashbacks about the moment as he's narrating. Happy reading!!!
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Manik's pov:
Ironic, isn't it!? How memories can be a treasure and a curse, both of which remains with you for a lifetime that no matter how hard you try, you end up entangling a part of yourself with it....they say time heals everything..but does it? Or it only burries down the scars deep within us, leaving the mark forever on the soul. That's what it did to me atleast, it scratched the years long wound that I had knowingly hid in the corners of my existence, but as I reminisced, it still had this undeniable power to shake me till the core of my being.
So much so that even a place that had been a heaven to me for past few weeks failed to bring my peace, I looked up to find nandini's confused gaze on me, it's been an hour afterall since her arrival and yet I haven't spoken a word or done anything other than laying in her lap and starring blankly at the dark blanket above, it would have been the most serene moment only if I hadn't had the haunting flashes resurfacing my memory lane..
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Nandini's pov:
I stared intently at his visibly stressed demeanor, neither he said anything nor I asked. The distressing silence in the air made even the pleasant gush of winds chilling for me, he was by my side but wasn't with me. As I sat there caressing his hair softly, the unsettling urgency that his voice held when he called me an hour back asking me to come and see him dominated my thoughts, his sudden call left me anxious and thankfully so, since my family had plans for the night it wasn't much difficult for me to excuse myself form the affair. They weren't dropping home anytime soon then tomorrow evening so being here wasn't a problem.
Owing to his restless tone, I fancied a completely different scenario, the engulfing silence didn't exactly stood up to my expectations. As I reached here, he held my hand in his unusually cold ones and dragged me to the rooftop where we currently settled, the entire day has been atypical for me, the unexpected visitor knocking at my door this morning to this, I was sure of this silence to be the one before a havoc wreaking strom but I waited, waited for him to speak or maybe because a part of me wasn't prepared for the hurricane hurrying at me.
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Manik's pov:
The deafening silence around was getting over our heads and so i finally decided to break it.
" tumhe pata hai usdin Aryamaan ko kuch kyu nhi mila about my past?" i urged my now dry throat to voice the words out, she looked at me fairly confused at my out of context querie, yet she nodded in denial.
" kyuki manik malhotra never existed until 5 years ago!" I spoke earning more of her attention, she stayed calm much to my astonishment with a confused nod she yearned me to go on.
" My birth name is Manik Mehra, grandson of Yashwant Mehra a known industrialist, his efforts and contribution towards the various section of society was acknowledge by many. He was pure gold for a man and that is exactly how he brought me and Avya di up, he made sure to imbibe and impart knowledge our way with his own shares of personal experience and some which were heard by him. He always taught us to be grateful for everything we have and help the needy not in a sympathetic way rather as a duty and a gesture of expressing our gratitude to the one who bestowed us with everything that we had..
He is the only reason why we didn't grow up to be a replica of my supposed parents, even after his unfortunate death his teachings remained carved in our minds and so any negativity around never had any impact on us for a very long time, after that heinous deal of Nyonika that I fortunately could stop, nothing came from her side for a really long time, I thought me giving her a piece of my mind did get the ball in my court so I didn't bother acknowledging her further doings and that being one of the first mistake I made!"
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Nandini's pov:
His eyes had a hint of spark in them as he spoke about his dadaji, I sure was perplexed by the revelation about him being a Mehra but I held back my list of queries that were desperate to spill out, I wanted him to open up and I was determined to wait until he does, I have been longing for this moment to knock at my door and I didn't want to let go of this because of some foolish questions that I couldn't hold back. I figured the most he needed at this point from me was to be a good listener and for him to feel accepted no matter what, if I fail to communicate the same to him, he might never actually let me in that part of his life.
" soon a few months passed by and me and di got back to our lives, still the hollow of losing a loved one remained with us but none really let that be obviously, we knew that we had to hold up each others back and if one fell weak the other would find it difficult to survive, in those months we made a couple of new friends and one of them was Dhruv Shekhawat he was di's classmate which slowly turned to friends and then best friends, since he was di's friend we hung around a few times and before I knew we had this unbreakable bond between us!" my heart escalated as he muttered Dhruv's name, so that's how the shekhawat's come into the picture I thought to myself, his tone turned sarcastic at the end, he even chuckled dryly maybe at the irony of life then and now, I tightened by hold on his hand that remained entwined with mine, resting on his chest.
" di and him started gelling along too well, she gained back her cheeriness that was unintentionally lost somewhere after dadu's death, she started looking forward to spending her days with Dhruv she sure was attracted to him and I liked to believe he was too because the sudden happy changes in my sister had me ecstatic, her smile was my sunshine and she was my whole damm world! I mentally thanked Dhruv for stepping into my sisters life for good, they started spending their almost all the time together but even with all the happy moments in her life she never stopped being my sister.
She never made me fell that her priorities had changed and I no longer held relevance in her life, she fulfilled all her responsibilities as my sister expertly, we had our share of personal time which not even Dhruv was entertained in, be it waking me up for school or helping me out with studies or being my saviour from the bullies around, she was my superhero! She always, always somehow knew exactly when I need someone to speak to about anything be it a rough day at school or a random incident that stuck with me she was my go to person for everything." I smiled at how adorably he described his sister, there wasn't an ounce of insecurity in his voice when he narrated about Dhruv's presence in Avya di's life, he loved his sister dearly and so did she, I knew how he felt, I did the same with rishu, he had a small curve of lips as he narrated the same to me!
At that moment I knew his sister was his peace more than anything could ever be maybe even me and I speak nothing but truth when I say I felt no bad about the same!
" those late night conversations that we shared at times with me resting on her lap and updating her about my life, talking about crushes to relationships to Bollywood to anything and everything were the favorite part of my day, we didn't care the presence of Nyonika or Shrikant most of the times they weren't home not like any of us wished otherwise, months passed and so did thicken the bond between me and Dhruv and the budding closeness between him and di too, soon he became our confidant. Never did we thought that he could be the reason of all the mishaps and wrecking our lives!
He became a part of our random ice-cream getaway's or a movie night he was creeping slowly yet all over our lives, it was a more than a year now to dadu's death and six months since we last saw any of the other two 'members'of the house, on a weekend soon after dadu's death anniversary my parents were suddenly all responsible and wanted to spend some 'so called family time' with the kids they had almost abandoned, bewilderment could be read right on our faces when the butler informed us about the same!
As reluctant as I was, I saw di all excited at this burst of concern not wanting to sadden her I gave in and agreed! At the dinner table that night some subtle allegations where thrown there way by me which they clearly ignored and di glared at me for being so blunt which I payed no two heeds to, I was adamant on being rigid and ridiculous and before we were even half way through the dinner the actual agenda was right on the table..
The elaborate 'family dinner' was because they had me admitted to a hostel for the rest of my highschool enraged at the decision they slapped right at my face without any confrontation or consent, I plainly denied doing any of that they wanted me to and dashed right to my room throwing away the chairs in rage, di kept shouting my name behind I heard none. I was soo clear about not leaving my sister alone in what I knew was a devil's den, I won't and I can't let her suffer alone. I know she was the one being my shield for a major pary of my life but this time and specifically in this case I had to take in the charge!
My sister was naive nandini and manipulating her was an easy task, she sure was brave though but I didn't want to take a chance leaving her here alone was a big NO for me! I kept pacing around my room all night restless and angry!! Di did knock on my door but I prefered staying alone for the time being!
The next day I stromed into the study where Nyonika and Shrikant sat discussing that one thing their lives revolved around, money! I cared less about the etiquettes and decency and bashed her about how she can decide anything for me and how she cannot rule me! She shrugged me with we are your "parent's" to which I did gave her a befitting reply but she showed no signs of giving in! And my so called dad sat there seeing his wife take over like he has always done!
Maybe some part of me hoped for him to say anything, something—but he didn't utter a single word and that's how my dad lost every ounce of respect that I had for him in any point of my life! They ignored my presence and my cries as they left for their another important meeting!" the picture of teen manik pleading to his parents and their ignorance towards the same falshed before me I hated to even imagine the helpless him! I let my finger linger on his forehead softly smothering those frowns they had.
" I fell on my knees right there as they left and burried my face in my plams, i hated this I never thought I will have to plead to them ever, but if that kept me with my sister I was willing to do it! Disheartened and frustrated I left for di's room my only source of some clarity and peace, I saw her sitting on the side of the bed she seemed lost but I didn't quite notice it until much later owing to the mess in my head! I slowly went to her and sat right beside her before laying on her lap, she startled with the sudden touch but calmed as she saw me, I frowned at this and she smiled at me, a small smile, I buried my face in her lap and she started Caressing my hair slowly like I always liked.
Her warmth worked like the last nail in the coffin and breaking all the inhibitions I sobbed and sobbed my eyes out..
Manuu what is it baba, kya hua why are you crying so...tell me please, aacha rona toh band kar, tu mujhe batayega nhi toh main kaise samjhungi..
her worried yet comforting voice kept filling my ears asking about the reason of my outburst, her consoling sweet nothings managed to set my heart at a normal pace, I had already cried my eyes out. I finally turned to look at her to find her starring at me terribly worried, she urged me to speak and so i told her all the happenings of the study.
Dii...they just want to separate us, they can't see how happy we are together and that their presence or absence matters less! Isiliye yet again they are using this as a opportunity to tear us apart!! Haina aapko bhi yahi lagta hai na!??
I expected her to say how wrong they were and that she would fight with them and keep me here with her that..that she would never let me go away or would never leave me alone, but to my utter utter surprise there came absolutely none from her side, she kept starring at my tear stained face with her pale and devoid of any emotion eyes! I shook her demanding a response
Dii say something bolo naa!!! You know their filthy plans behind this right!
but again she spoke nothing!
Disappointed I left her room and came to mine somewhere trying to contemplate a reason for her sudden cold demeanor, night arrived soon and both of us gathered at the dining hall for the first time in soo long, there was no giggles or lame jokes cracked when we sat for dinner, the silence sure killed a part of us but none seemed to initiate...with a heavy heart and partially filled stomach we left to our respective rooms without uttering a single word to the other.
As much as her silence was bothering me, I couldn't help but ponder over everything that happened to find a loop where I ended up hurting her or slipping up and I found none, that left me all the more frustrated, later that night when I came down to get some water, I saw Dhruv walking out of the house from the part of the garden that was di's and mine favourite hang out place in the whole of house, he didn't notice me though owing to the dimly lit kitchen...and maybe for the first time since his arrival in our lives I felt this undeniable anger and dislike towards him, it hurt bad, almost like someone stabbed my chest..seeing my sister breaking the pact that we made years back about the place, which was that..none of us would bring anybody else in that part of the garden nor will we go there alone it will always be just the two of us.." as he spoke the pain and hurt flashed his eyes, like always his eyes have been wayy more expressive than his words ever can, I knew reliving those memories wasn't easy for him, a chapter of his life he had buried deep deep within going through those yet again feels no less than salt on fresh wound. I squeezed his hands with mine trying to assure him about my presence.
" do you know why that place was so special to us!?" he asked innocently even though he knew what exactly will be my answer, I found him looking at me as if wanting me to tell him the known! I nodded in denial.
" because that was the part of the house that offered the most breathtaking view of the night sky! Di loved them and her fascination rubbed of on me too, we used to spent hours there talking about constellations and outer space!" he chuckled dryly as he said so.
" the morning came in soon, I haven't had anything even close to sleep last night so doing myself a favor I gave up on twisting and turning and left my bed, expecting it to be a normal day but with a firm decision of coaxing di for whatever that is, that she is mad about, I made my way downstairs, staying up all night, I realized her cold shoulder was too much for me to take and no matter what I will sort things out between us!" he went blank yet again as he said this, I could feel his grip on my palms growing tighter it did pain a little owing to his strength but I let it go, he was more important to me at that moment.
" I went down and as usual sat down for breakfast di wasn't there yet, this didn't happen often but last night dhruv's departure clicked me so I shrugged assuming she slept late, I never eat alone di was always by my side, I preferred waiting for her, sitting there and desperately waiting for her arrival, like a fool I was thinking of ways to please her, even though I had no clue where was I at fault! She did show up after a while, as she did I chirped greeting her but got a firm nod for an answer shrugging of, I served us both breakfast and before we could began i apologized to her..
Di, I don't know what got you this mad at me but please, please aaise gussa mat raho na you know right I hate it when you stay mad at me, aaisa mat karoo plzz!
She said nothing but sat there blank, I could feel my erratic heartbeats, with restlessness at peak I looked at her with hope filled eyes.
You want me to forgive you right!?
She voiced and I shook my head frantically happy that she atleast said something!
Maaf kar dungi, bus tu haa kehde hostel jaane ke liye!
That came as a bomb to me, I kept starring at her face to look for a hint of hesitancy, that she wasn't willing to send me away but found none! The one thing I didn't realize was that my sister excelled in putting up a facade!
Aap mazak kar rahe ho na, voh..voh Nyonika ne aapko bhadkaya na..she manipulated you right..app..app uski baat mat sunno voh kuch nhi kar payegi...aapko pata hai na that i can't stay away from you aur...aur main apko akele kaise chodke jao yaha un janwaro ke paas..main nhi reh paunga di..plzz!
My voice was cracking as I pleaded her to not send me away but she heard none, I..I..didn't know what changed over night that my ever so loving sister felt nothing seeing me vulnerable, just one assurance is everything I needed from her to fight nyonika. She was my strength nandini and her saying this broke me, it killed a part of me!
Aur tu yeh nhi samaj raha that I have a life too, main apni saari zindagi tujhe sambhalte hue nhi guzar sakti na..what am I your caretaker!!!!! Jab tu chota tha toh baat alag thi abb tu bada ho gaya hai you have to learn to stay alone and not depend on me!! And moreover it is for your own good, so please agar zara si bhi kadar hai mere baato ki toh haa bolde nyonika ko!
Yelling this in her dead stern voice she dashed out leaving me numb to my soul, i didn't know how to react i sat there losing my sense, but one thing came pretty clear to me that, it was no longer my sister speaking, this weren't and can never be her words ever!!!! She was badly manipulated!! Main janta tha nandini apni behen ko voh..voh aaisa bol hi nhi sakti kabhi!! I couldn't believe my ears when she said that..I..I" his eyes stared spilling up and voice choked recalling the harsh words, I bent down and hugged him caressing his hairs, he turned sideways and wrapped his arms around my waist and I kept calming him by slowly roaming my hands on his back and whispering sweet nothings to him, my cloth near my tummy soaked his silent tears, I peaked his hairs after short intervals comforting him!
Only if i knew the path ahead on the way to his past was way more devastating...
Ladna chahta hua apno se,
Par lagta hai ki kahi jeet gaya toh haar jaunga..
~Nandkishor devdas
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