Everly's Pov
" You are being selfish Everly."
Selfish. I hate that word.
" I'm not being selfish mom! God why can't you see my reason behind everything?!" I cry out.
My heart is racing at an insane speed. I'm beyond pissed at the whole situation and I'm mad at myself for it. Mom throwing it back in my face isn't helping much to calm the raging storm inside of me.
" You are! How can you expect him to give up the one thing that brought meaning to his life after his father's death?!" she yells back.
I continue to pace around her room in Liam's house. I'm tempted to kick a few of the furniture but I restrain myself from it. I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts but all I see is red.
" If it means that my child will be safe then fine. I'm selfish! I'm so selfish that I'll give up my love for the man that brought meaning to my own life when I hit rock bottom. I'm so selfish that I'll risk never seeing the man I love ever again because I want to keep Caroline safe. I'm so selfish that I put my own child's needs before mine. I'm so selfish that my love for a man isn't my top priority when it comes to my kid. I'm so fucking selfish mom! " I yell back.
I couldn't hold back the urge to kick or punch something. In a matter of minutes one of the bedside lamps come crashing down onto the dark wood floor. It felt good for a few seconds if I'm being honest but once that few seconds have passed I feel incredibly guilty. I just broke a lamp. I make a mental note to replace the lamp.
" Everly stop it! You're over reacting!" Mom yells a few seconds after the lamp crashed to the floor.
" I'm not over reacting! I'm trying to do the right thing for Caroline and you seem to have a problem with everything I say and do! I'm putting my child first, it's something you lacked while raising me." my voice cracks at the end as I feel my eyes water up.
The look on my mother's face right now breaks my heart all over again. Shit. I didn't mean to say that. I'm really being a bitch now.
" You really had to go and pull out that card? " my mom laughs while wiping away her own set of tears.
God I'm a horrible person.
" Mom I'm sorry. I didn't mean it and you know it. I'm just so frustrated and I can't think clearly and-" I start to sob as my knees give in as I slide down the wall. Once I'm on the floor I hug my knees to my chest and silently cry into them.
I feel a warm hand being placed on my shoulder and soon enough mom sits down next to me. She holds me for a few minutes before she speaks.
" I know you didn't mean it honey." she breathes out.
The guilt washes over me as I continue to sob in her arms. My relationship with my mother hasn't fully recovered since she came back into my life. It's still fragile and I'd hate myself if I'm the reason it won't work out. My mother wasn't a very good mom while I was growing up but she's here now and she's trying her best to help me and that's enough for me to give her a chance.
" It's been 4 days mom. I haven't heard a word from him." I'm taken back by how hoarse my voice is. That is bound to happen if you've been crying for a few days.
The last few days have been hell for me. Liam left a few minutes after my big bombshell and he still hasn't come back. He didn't send me a message or tried to call. I waited up for him that night and the next, and the next. Still no sign of him. Sleep hasn't come easy to me at all. I'm up all night, whether it is from Chicka or from crying. I just can't seem to sleep. I guess my mind is too busy and so sleep has been pushed to the back of my mind.
The first day after Liam left was mostly spent with me crying my eyes out and sitting by my phone waiting for his call or text or even a damn email. Anything would've been better than nothing. The second day I was a zombie. I didn't get out of bed, only when Chicka needed me or I needed to use the bathroom. I didn't eat and I didn't talk to anyone. Mom tried to get me to talk about what happened but I just continued to stare out of the window. By the third day I was exhausted from crying the whole time. I decided that it was time for a shower. When I looked into the mirror I couldn't recognize myself. Dark bags under my eyes, chapped lips, pale skin, red nose and greasy hair. I looked like the typical cliché version of a breakup. Even though I didn't know if I was going though a break up. It sure felt like it. By the fourth day, that is today, I woke up from a few hours of sleep, pissed off. I wanted to break things and yell at everyone in my way. It's been four days and he hasn't tried calling me back on the several messages and missed calls I've left. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I thought it was probably his way of saying that we're over. He's probably just waiting for me to get out of his house. With that thought in mind I walked over to my mom's room. She forced me to tell her what's going on and that is how we've ended up where we are now.
" Running away from your problems won't solve them." mom says after a few minutes of silence.
I rest my head against the wall and let out a shaky breath. I know walking away won't solve my problems but I just can't stay here. Not when I don't know what he's decided. From the looks of it, it doesn't look good for me.
" I can't stay here mom. It hurts too much. Everything in this house reminds me of him. Everywhere I go I see him. It's been 4 days. 4 days where I played the damsel in distress, waiting for him to come swoop me off my feet and save me. I'm not a damsel in distress mom. I can save myself. " I say with a shaky voice.
Mom doesn't say anything as I get up. I give her a hand as I help her up. She stares at me with intensity. Probably looking for some kind of words to say to make me change my mind. She lifts her hand and cups my cheek. I lean into her touch and feel another tear roll down my cheek.
" I'll start packing. Meet you downstairs in an hour yeah?" Mom asks finally agreeing with me.
I feel a wave of relief wash over me. I know she isn't happy with my decision but we'll take things further as soon as I'm out of this house and have cleared my thoughts.
I nod and walk out of her room. The walk to my room feels incredibly long but soon enough I've reached it. Chicka is still in her crib fast asleep. At least one of us is lucky enough to get a few extra hours of sleep in.
I check my phone once more for any sign of Liam. I'm not surprised when I don't see anything from him. It's exactly like the time he left me in England. He cut communication with me for weeks. Didn't pick up my calls nor respond to my texts. I can't help the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realize that maybe this is the same case.
I pull out a few suitcases that were hidden in one of the closets and start by packing Chicka's stuff. She wakes up after a few minutes and I have to stop to feed her. Once I'm done I lay her in the middle of the bed and proceed with gathering all our belongings. With every item of clothing I pack into my suitcase the bigger the pit in my stomach grows. I pray for Liam to burst into the room and demand me to unpack everything. He'll say he's sorry and that he loves me and that he can't even think of living a life without me. I guess my thoughts are too good to be true because it didn't happen. That's what happens to selfish people right? They always get what they deserve.
" You're pathetic." I mumble to myself as I pull on one of my jerseys. I buckle up Chicka in her carrier as soon as all my luggage have been brought to the front door. I take hold of her carrier and give the room one last look. There is no sign of me or Chicka being there. Besides the crib. My heart aches when I think back to the day when Liam had the crib moved into my room when we were in The Hamptons so that I wouldn't have to worry about Chicka in the night. He did the exact same thing when we came back to his house after the attack. The gesture made me swoon and it reminded me that even though Liam has a terrifying past, he's trying to be a better person.
I blink away the unwelcomed tear and head downstairs. The house is empty besides from me and my mom. Stella had threatened Ryan with a butter knife a few days ago to take her to his house because she couldn't handle seeing the same four walls every day. I smile at the memory. She deserves to be happy. I'll just pray that Ryan stays sane while dealing with her.
It's James day off today and I know he was planning on taking mom out. Once again it just proves how selfish I am for deciding to move out today. Who would've thought that my mom and Liam's butler would hit it off? At least she's happy.
" You ready sweetie?" mom asks with sympathy dripping from her voice.
I nod and proceed to walk over to the front door where my car is parked. I had asked Bob to bring my car to the front of the house so that we wouldn't struggle with our luggage.
I put the carrier, that is holding Chicka, down and fish for my keys in my purse. Once I find them I quickly unclok the door. I give one last look at the grand foyer and sigh as I open the door. I come face to chest with a figure standing in front of me.
"Liam?" his name leaves my mouth making me sound a little breathless.
There he stands in his usual glory. Only this time he looks a little different than usual. My eyes immediately take in his face. He clearly hasn't shaven since he left seeing as there is a clear stubble on his face. He has dark bags under his eyes due to the lack of sleep and his eyes hold so much emotion, yet I can't seem to read any of it. He looks devastated. A part of me wants to jump into his arms and kiss the life out of him but another part of me, the more rational part, wants to smile because he looks just as terrible as I do. That must go for something right?
His eyes zeroes in on the luggage behind me and then on Chicka in her carrier.
"Where are you going?" he asks with anger clear in his voice.
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion because of the anger in his voice. He's angry? He's the one that ghosted me for 4 days straight and he has the audacity to be angry at me?
" I'm going home." I respond, trying to stay calm.
I know that I gave him a hard time when I left him with the decision but I don't agree with the way he handled the situation. He knows better than to dissappear after what happened the previous time. Yet he still did it.
" Why are you leaving? " he asks as he takes a step forward. I automatically back away. I can't be this close to him. It's getting really hard for me to contain my tears from spilling.
" Gee I don't know Liam. Maybe because I didn't hear from you for 4 fucking days?! " I yell out.
Okay maybe I should've concentrated on keeping my anger at bay rather than my tears in check because now I've made Chicka cry.
Mom quickly steps in and picks Chicka up. " Deal with it outside." she orders as she single handedly pushes the two of us outside and closes the door.
Liam immediately starts walking towards the back of the house. Me being stubborn, follows him hot on his heels.
" Where are you going? We're not done here! " I yell as I try and keep up with him. He doesn't stop walking and I almost have to start jogging to keep up with him.
He comes to a halt in front of a bench in the middle of a little rose garden. I see him take a sharp breath in as he sits down. His hand immediately goes through his already messy hair. Damn he still manages to look hot. I silently take my seat next to him. We sit in silence, just looking out over the roses.
A part of me is scared to hear his answer. Rejection is a big issue for me. I've been rejected by my own father. That really leaves a mark. I've been rejected by a lot of my friends after them finding out about my pregnancy. Rejection is something I still struggle with because it's become such a big part in my life. I don't know how I'll handle Liam's rejection.
" Why did you leave? Wait that's a stupid question." I say breaking the silence. My heart is beating so loud right now. I wonder if he can hear it?
" Where were you?" I ask a more reasonable question.
" With Chase." he replies. I'm scared from the lack of emotion in his voice when he replies to my question.
A lot of questions are going through my mind right now. Questions I'd rather not know the answer to.
" Why didn't you call me back?" I ask softly. I rake a hand through my own tangled hair and let out a shaky breath.
" I was busy."
What is it with these short replies? Does he want to make me more pissed off?! It's definitely working. I start fumbling with my fingers to try and calm myself down. We both have a right to be upset right now but I also have a right to know what's going on. What could possibly keep him busy for 4 days? Girls? I shudder at the thought. Liam is definitely eye candy but he won't do that to me. No matter how mad he is he wouldn't do that. Right?
" Busy with what exactly?" I ask hesitantly. Do I really want to know what he and his best friend were doing for the past 4 days while on the verge of a breakup?
" It doesn't take a few hours to sign off a powerful gang to someone else." he chuckles.
My breath hitches as I hear his reply. My eyes immediately meets his in search of an explanation.
"W-what?" I breath out.
Liam licks his bottom lip and a faint smile crosses over his face.
" I choose you."
All sound around me dies as I hear his words being played over in my head. No matter how many times the words are repeated I still can't register it. I definitely need to have my ears checked out because I'm clearly hearing things. Am I dreaming right now? Someone please pinch me.
" But-" I speak up but I'm stopped when Liam takes my hand in his. This time around I don't remove my hand from his.
" You had your turn to speak a few days ago. Now it's my turn." he states.
I don't argue with him on that and stay quiet.
" You were right you know? About me starting my gang because I wanted revenge. I did get my revenge. Hell I even got to take over Xavier's gang. It felt good to know that I finally received justice for my father's death. I got the closure I needed when I looked into my mother's defeated eyes. I guess I was blinded by the victory that I didn't notice what affect it had on you or on Chicka. When you told me how you really felt my eyes opened and I realized that I was busy screwing things up. Sure it didn't feel nice to hear you say that you don't want part of my life anymore but I understand your reason behind it. It's dangerous. When I look into my furutre, I don't see myself in 10 years time sitting on top of a powerful gang. I never did. I see myself with you and Chicka by my side. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being caught up in this life. I've always know that I'm destined to be more than just the leader of a gang. I never wanted this life but revenge got the better of me. Now that it's all over why do I need to stay? Why do I need to loose the one person in this entire world that gets me and loves me for who I am and not just for my title? Why do I need to loose the chance of having a family and watching Chicka grow up? I don't want to loose you Everly. Ever. I almost lost you once and I'm not willing to let that happen again. I want to travel the world with you. I want to jump on hotel beds and sing crazy songs with you. I want to teach you how to cook so that you don't burn down our kitchen, again. I love you and that's why even before you gave me that choice I knew who I'd pick. It was always you Everly. Since the day I walked up to you at school I knew that there was something different about you. I found you intriguing that's why I took the chance to talk to you. I don't regret it trust me. " he chuckles at the last part.
I immediately blush but stay quiet.
" My point is that a gang isn't worthy enough to let me leave you. Nothing is. Sure they are my family and close friends but you are my family now. I was with Chase the last few days because I want to leave my gang in his hands. He's my first in command so I know he'll be the perfect candidate to lead the gang. We had to finalize a few things and set up meetings here and there. It was a lot of work but every minute of it was worth it. Even before the whole delema with my mother I wanted Stella to leave the gang because I don't want to put her life in more danger. It took a while for me to convince Stella to leave and once she agreed to leave Ryan also decided that the gang isn't for him. He only joined so that he could spend more time with Stella. Lucas on the other hand came to me about a week ago and told me that he got accepted into Harvard and that he's also leaving. I don't have anything holding me back so it wasn't difficult to sign it over to Chase. The gang isn't mine anymore. I don't have any connections with it besides being the best friend of its now standing leader. I don't regret leaving and I don't want you to feel bad because I didn't loose anything. I still have my friends and now I have you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Everly. No I'm not proposing to you right now, not yet at least but I want you to know how serious I am about this, about us. " he finishes by placing a soft kiss on my hand.
I'm full on crying right now. The difference is that it's happy tears this time. I can't believe he chose me. He gave up his gang just to be with me? Where the hell do you find a guy like this? How the hell did I find him and managed to capture him? Every word he said glued back a piece of my heart and at the end or his confession it felt like my heart was whole again. For the first time in 4 days I can think straight again. I don't know how I would have reacted if he told me that he chose his gang and I really don't want to find out. I'm just glad it didn't come to that. I still feel guilty, I guess I'll always feel guilty for having him give up something he loves but he just showed me that I mean more to him than his dangerous lifestyle. I'm glad he didn't give up on us.
" Now would be a good time to say something." he whispers after not hearing a word from me for a few minutes.
" Nothing I say now would beat what you just confessed to me." I laugh as I wipe away a few tears.
" You could just tell me that you love me. That seems pretty close to it. " he smirks as he leans in.
I roll my eyes at him but nevertheless lean in as well.
" I love you. " I whisper as I close the gap between us.
The kiss is slow and passionate. I only then realize how much I have missed his lips, his scent, his everything. I just missed him in general. I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing this guy. I might just be addicted. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be sitting here with Liam Wells after he confessed how he felt and gave up his gang for me I would've laughed in their faces and walked them to a therapy session. I don't realize that I started laughing until Liam pulls away.
" What's so funny?" he asks a little confused.
I shake my head and chuckle lightly. I really do need help.
" Nothing. I'm just glad that you're here." I smile and give him another kiss.
He pulls away again and stands up.
" Where are you going?" I ask confused as I wrap my hand around his outstretched one.
" To unpack your shit." he shrugs.
I shake my head as a grin spreads over my face. " And what if I still want to go home?" I question him.
" You are home." he replies as a matter of fact.
He's right. I am home. He is my home. A home isn't necessarily a house but it's something that provides you love and security. It makes you feel comfortable and happy. Liam sure as hell ticks off all those boxes.
" How did I get so lucky to be here right now?" I wonder out loud.
" It all started with a chicken nugget." he smirks.
" It's amazing what a chicken nugget can do." I add.
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~ Epilogue up next ❤️