I pause before I answer. I don't know if I want to tell him the truth or not.
"Look, I know you've been in the male prison for the last few years ok." He says and I just give him a shocked look.
"How?" I ask stunned.
"You're brother is many things, but a good liar is not one of them." He says chuckling and I just shake my head.
"I know what you did Keres. You don't have to put up a front around me. I know what you're capable of. But what I want to know is why didn't Shane know you were in the same hospital as me?" He asks.
"Lets just say I had enemies on both sides. Plus running my mouth didn't help either. They brought me to the hospital because they didn't know what to do with me. The other prisons in the area refused to take me in because of my....track record." I say as I take a swig of vodka.
"You never did say why you killed him. So it's only logical that the police would hound you." He explains.
"I'm surprised neither of you have asked me the reason I killed him yet." I chuckle.
"I don't need to. Because I know that there wasn't one. I think that you wanted people to think that you killed him on purpose so that they wouldn't try and mess with you." He says in a cocky voice.
"Oh, is that so? Explain." I sarcastically say and hand him the bottle.
"Well, the police report stated that you were found standing next to his body with a knife sticking out of his neck. You didn't run away from the scene or try to hide the murder weapon. Plus, I was the first officer at the scene and you said that it was your fault and that you were glad he was dead. But what I never understood is that you weren't the one who called the police." Rick says then takes a swig from my bottle.
"What are you talking about? I did and you must have been the closest one to the crime scene." I explain with a shrug and he hands me the bottle.
"I've never told anyone this but, that night Shane called me and asked me to check in on you because he had to get some paperwork into the station. There was no paperwork was there?" He explains and I cough up a little liquid from my sip.
"So what are you getting at?" I ask once I get my coughing under control.
"You don't have a reason why you killed him because you weren't the one who killed him. Shane killed your father didn't he." Rick explains and I hand him the bottle.
"No. I'm the one that killed my father. Shane had nothing to do with it." I say through gritted teeth.
"Keres. When I got to your house the food on your plates were steaming still. And there were only two plates set at the table."
"Yeah, because it was just my dad and I there. Thank you for proving my point. So I don't know where you got the notion that Shane was there when it happened." I say and he huffs and takes a swig.
"Oh. I know that Shane was there. In fact I helped cover up the fact that he was there." Rick reveals and hands me the bottle.
"Ok, I'll play along with this ridiculous theory. What proof do you have that he was there when I murdered my dad?" I ask and take a swig.
"It's quite simple. There were two complete place settings at the table." Rick answers.
"Yeah, you already pointed that out. Now how does that-." I start but he cuts me off.
"Both place settings had butter knives. And yet there was another butter knife in your father's neck. I stole one of the knives off the table and hid it. That's how I know you didn't kill your father. But, I still don't know how you convinced Shane to let you take the fall." Rick explains and I roll my eyes.
"Fine you're right. It wasn't just my dad and I. But I am the one who killed him. And it wasn't in self defense. I never lied about that. Well, I lied about it to Shane to get him out of the house. I told him that I would tell the police that it was in self defense and that I didn't do it on purpose. And he believed me. Even though he knew that's not what happened. He probably thought that they would go easier on me than him. So that's why he didn't stick around. And I guess he called you so I wouldn't look as guilty, since you've known my family your whole life." I divulge and take a big swig.
He looks at me confused and I can see him trying to make sense of it all and see if my story is plausible. He gives me a look and nods his head understanding and processing the truth.
"You really did kill him..." He slurs still in shock.
"Yeah." I say dryly and take another swig of my drink.
"I-I...I don't understand...I know Shane and him had issues at times but...it never got physical..." He stutters.
"That's because Shane was never home long enough for it to get physical." I mutter and he looks at the ground in silence.
A few minutes pass in silence. My head is spinning remembering the night that I killed my father. It feels so surreal. Maybe it's the alcohol in my system.
"Can I ask you something?" Rick asks breaking the silence.
"Shoot." I nod.
"How do you do it? How to you keep your composure through all of this? It's like none of this stuff is affecting you. Like you could care less about what's going on. Meanwhile, I'm completely winging it here and using everything I have just to keep my composure, to put up a front for the group. But in reality, I don't see how we can survive this. So how do you just stab some corpse in the head and shoot a man who was bitten and not even blink?" He asks looking at me and I know I'm clothed but I feel naked.
Not in the sensual sense but the vulnerable sense. No one has ever made me feel that way before. No one besides Shane. But this is different still. It's not a judgement vulnerability, its something new, foreign.
"By not caring." I answer honestly.
"Oh right...so you just stayed in the hospital for almost two months with me because you didn't care..." Rick says sarcastically.
"I'm going to bed." I slur, trying to avoid his questions.
"No, you don't get to do that. You can't just give me that crap excuse! That was my life you saved in the hospital! Even though you killed your own father doesn't mean you don't care about anyone!" He pleads.
"Keres, everyone makes mistakes, and maybe that's what that was. A mistake. But it doesn't make you a heartless killer." Rick tries pleading with me.
"You're right. That doesn't make me a heartless killer. And I might have been able to justify it as an accident if I hadn't already done it before." I say and take another swig of vodka.
"What do you mean if you hadn't done it before? Done what before?" He looks at me confused.
"Killed someone." I state with no emotion and I chug more vodka.
I get up and leave, Rick doesn't try and stop me. I walk towards the rec room where I hear a commotion.
I open the door and see Shane drunk on top of Lori. All the fogginess disappears. I drop the empty bottle of vodka and yank Shane off Lori and shove him into the wall.
He looks at me as if he didn't know what he was doing. Lori runs out of the room and I let go of Shane after I push him against the wall once more.
"What the fuck was that!" I yell at Shane.
He tries to catch his breath and can't seem to get a sentence out.
"I'm sorry." He says, still out of breath with tears in his eyes.
"I-I...I...didn't know...what I was doing...I didn't mean to..." He stumbles on his own word and just looks at me with a desperate look of sadness and self hatred.
I get him to a bed and make sure he's safe. Then I head to bed and try to fall asleep. After about a half hour I finally drift off to sleep.