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!POV!
THEO.
I was probably dreaming—yet no dream could emit a feeling so strong like this that the minute the light from the sun seeped through the windows they covered a moment ago, and when the reality striked harder than lightning—I was back on my own, sad, and miserable world.
My consciousness fell back on what's in front of me. Four boys that acted like my old best friends, all sharing common similarities to them it was almost creepy. "Hey, Theo!" Hanna called, the director which I was already a bit fond off since meeting. She's got a nice aura about her. "Come meet the boys." Reluctantly, I set up the camera for possible content and tore away my mind from what's been bugging me—this whole ordeal.
I walk closer to the boys, offering them the best smile I could muster. "What's up? I'm Theo! I take videos for 5SOS' content." They all greeted me with smiles, my mind all fogged up I couldn't remember their names yet our situation was luck enough that I get to call them by my best friends' names. It was cheating, but for all the right reasons.
"Alright, I'm gonna leave you boys with her while I talk to the band. I'm sure she needs a lot of content from all of you." Hanna tapped me on my shoulder as she left and I was left with four young boys looking at me as if I've got the solution for world hunger. I come up short, yet fate was still on my side when a lightbulb lit up on my head and my eyes roamed around the hotel.
"So, I know a place somewhere here where I could get content from you. Interview you in a group and then I guess you're free for as long as Hanna doesn't call you?"
"That's a great plan." Luke—or I mean the boy who represents him agreed that I led the way throughout across the room, far back to the what once were a garden and a smoking area where there's equipment set up around the way yet a white wall free for me to use as a decent background. I lined them up unintentionally by the way how the band formed—Luke, Mikey, Calum, and Ashton—and stared at them for a minute.
"How much do you know about the band?" The camera in my hands, I asked a simple question just to warm things up.
"That they're an Australian band. Born and raised." The Calum-kid answered.
"Yeah, yeah. I heard of them from the radio once." The one who represented Mikey's bangs perfectly added that I smiled upon remembering his fringes. God, I missed the times.
"How do you feel about making a music video about their younger selves?" I asked next, my eyes focused on the viewfinder instead as I try to take the answer of the one that stood for Ashton.
"A bit nervous, to be honest. We all wanted to get it perfectly." I then zoomed in on each as they answered almost all at the same time.
"We don't wanna mess it up for their fans. I'm sure they know all about what they did before and they'll expect us to match it, really." The Luke kid mused to everyone's agreement that I smiled.
"It's okay. Nobody's perfect. But can I make a suggestion?" Their attention perked up as I lay down the camera, all waiting for what I'm about to say. "To be able to capture the band, you gotta mean it. You gotta smile like you mean it, you gotta laugh like you do. And have fun with it. It's just a music video. Just try to imagine," My heart begin to race, "Imagine you four are best of friends." Their agreement brought warmth into my chest yet a chuckle from behind me caught my attention.
I turned to see who it was and to my surprise, it was Michael Clifford. Dressed in all black yet his hair was blonde I wanted to pick up a paint and color his hair all kinds of weird. I guess I was just not used to seeing him settle with anything but. "That's a bit poetic of you." He mused, putting a smile on my face albeit still thinking of buying him some hair dyes. The boys behind me scattered about and we were left alone standing behind the hotel in daylight.
"I was making content."
"You weren't filming." He retorted, the silence enveloping us for a minute before I finally collapsed at his chest. A great feeling. It really is. Having to hug your best friend in the middle of a harrowing time of your life is one of the best feelings in the world. I could never ask for more. "I missed you, boo." He murmured, just enough for me to hear.
"I missed you so much, Mikey." I cooed, "Congratulations on your engagement." I heard him chuckle before pulling away, pursing my lips as I could not even begin where to gush about how my best friend who I teased about not having a girlfriend will be the first one to get married out of all of us! Things really do happen when you least expect it.
"Thank you! I've been meaning to do it for so long, you know? I had the guts. Finally did."
"And I'm so happy for you. Really." It took my all not to hug him again and abuse his goodness to—forgive me? Has he already did? I didn't think he'd talk to me if he hasn't. I didn't think Ashton would do the same moments ago if he didn't, too. But I was a bit in the gray area. I couldn't demand for it yet I couldn't take it and take advantage of it again. I was going to disappear after this and this whole thing will be going around in circles again.
I'm afraid.
I couldn't bare the thought of accepting their forgiveness if I knew I was going away after this.
Yet my thoughts were halted when Mikey leaned in on my ear and whispered, "You're invited to my wedding." Shit.
"Oh—I—Thank you, Mikey. I—" Before I could break his heart again and refuse the invitation, a voice called for him, and this time, my heart did laps.
"Mike. Second location. Let's go." I didn't wanna look to save us all the time and the heartbreak but consider me selfish for not listening to my head when my heel turned and followed the direction of Michael, leaning in to brush my hair the final time before he boarded up the stairs towards my—towards Luke.
And same as ever, every time I had the most fortunate chance of looking at him, I was back to zero again.
I love him still, and maybe always will.
-
I figured I was far from making reason and too far from regrets that riding at the van together with my supposed partner that I couldn't find a while ago while stumbling around and avoiding the band, and my boss who I didn't have the luck of meeting the same, I figured I could just go to hell with it.
Beating around the bush wasn't going to make me productive and I get paid to do this. I wasn't gonna get paid for avoiding them when it's my actual job to interact with them that the minute I took a step out of the van did I follow the way where Kyle was going. "Huh, had a change of heart?" He mused, a cigarette on one hand while the camera dangles over his other. I widened the gap between us, figuring that I didn't need another cancer in my only life.
I'd love it if I only had one.
"I barely got anything if it wasn't for Ashton doing our jobs before us so here the hell I am." Kyle smirked.
"I had a lot from the boys! You got the kids. Reckon they're much tolerable than four grown men acting like teenagers." I slapped his arm.
"They're goofy boys, alright?"
"Aww, I know!" He raised both his hands, "But if you promise not to hit my arm again, I'm gonna let you on a secret." My brow raised.
"No promises but I'll try not to hurt the wee baby Kyle next time." I goaded, his grin telling that even if I promised or not, it was not going to matter anyway. I was going to make him tell me even if I have to steal his beloved cigarettes from him.
"Do you wanna hear it or not?" For formalities, I promised with a finger crossed behind my back. "Well, while you were standing at the side of the stage with the biggest heart eyes I've seen in my whole life—uh, uh, you promised!" I almost slapped him. Almost. "Well, I also saw the biggest sappy romantic film ever in my life that day." He put out his cigarette that I drew near, smelling bits about him that I was able to tolerate while he fiddled about on the camera.
He blocked the sunlight from the screen using one hand as he played a video of me looking at the stage as if I was being hypnotized by a memory, and then, his camera slowly panned over the area behind me until he zoomed in on the figure leaning on a wall with his hands crossed—looking at me with a hint of—a smile.
Wait—it can't be. He might've just been looking at the kids. There were so many point of views within his attention that the camera doesn't prove anything. But it still stirred my stomach that I had to walk away and just breathe very heavily. In and out. In and out. "You okay there, sunshine?" I sent Kyle two flying birds at the same time that he laughed, drawing near me as his arms rounded on my shoulders before leading me to a slightly—well, maybe a bit to my knowledge familiar road. "Don't worry. I won't upload it even if I really want to."
"Do you know how much I hate you, Kyle?"
"Tons."
-
We reached the side of the road where another production team had started filming around a house that'll be used for the video, and the side of the road together with it. I was changing lenses for a minute when I heard voices drew near. Kyle looked at me as if I've grown nine heads that I merely rolled my eyes and sighed, "I'm gonna be professional about this, Kyle. Stop looking at me like I'm gonna bawl my eyes out." He laughed.
"You're probably gonna do that but I trust the professionalism." He stood up, his camera dangling around his neck that he offered me a hand which I gladly grasped as I stood. "It's going to be fine. I'll lead." I smiled gratefully at him as I straightened my top and brushed my sweaty palms to my jeans.
I'm doing this.
I'm doing this.
"What's up, boys?" Kyle greeted and the conversation of the two people behind Mike and Ashton halted when their eyes found me. I tried to smile, I really did. But I guess I couldn't conjure a smile believable enough to say that I'm okay about them looking at me like I'm some kind of evil witch they had to burn. "Calum? Luke?" He called over, camera up top that they pulled their smiles faster than lightning. It was so weird seeing just how fast they could transform into a believable type of happy when I couldn't even do anything other than gawk.
"Aren't you gonna film us?" Mike says as he grabbed the camera from my hands, my eyes leaving the two together with Kyle, leaving me with the other two who could tolerate talking to me. "We're now seeing a girl who once punched the lights out of a bouncer because he called her a groupie—" I hurried to clamp my hands over Mikey's mouth while Ashton found it befitting to laugh about something that happened in the past.
"He was an asshole and he deserved it." I defended, grabbing the camera back as the two idiots in front of me laugh.
"It was a solid one. I had a proud dad moment for teaching you how to do that." Ashton mused, putting a smile on my face for making me feel that things aren't so different from before. Even just for a small moment.
"Thanks again—but now could we focus so I could ask you about the next scene you'll be doing?" I was already filming them and they were smiling.
"Well, now we're going to do what we did five years ago in our friend's kitchen." I nod, letting them continue. "Come on, we'll show you." Mike motioned for the door that I looked at Kyle who's focused at the two one more time before following behind Ashton where I still remained recording.
"Since the music video was all about what happened leading to this day, we figured to put bits of good things we did before." I don't even wanna get myself started into rolling memories in my mind if I still wanted to focus. I've had so many good days with them I couldn't even pick my most favorite. "Here we are, the kitchen." Ash did the jazz hands, making me chuckle as he and Mike leaned on the counter. It had an awfully familiar color—and when I my eyes darted over the distracting hanging pot, I almost dropped my camera.
Holy shit.
"We're gonna do a small scene from our friend's kitchen long, long ago. She's a really good friend of ours and it's a little homage to the things we've been through at her parent's house." Mikey explained, my head in shambles as I try to gather the information and let my mind accept it but I stood there, my eyes watering every moment that when the two hugged me, I could feel my heart breaking so much.
We heard voices right then, only realizing I recorded my stifled sniffs and backed away almost instantly when Hannah called for the boys' attention. Mike and Ash waved at me and I felt an overwhelming sense of longing more and more it was torture.
"Hey, are you okay?" I looked at Kyle yet couldn't muster an answer. But I shake my head as a no and look beyond to the boys happily standing there at the makeshift kitchen—my kitchen five years ago where we all tried cooking hot wings with Truff and I ended up crying over how hot we made it.
And a question begged to be answered at the back of my head while the boys were being filmed and they were laughing together. A question while Luke leaned over the counter where I saw his eyes lingered a second on the hanging pot of plant over the wall that my Mom gave me. A question that asks—did he agreed with this?
Did he agree to include a memory of me?
Did he agree to include a memory where I was lying at his chest by the counter while he sat, crying over how hot it was and how my lips were burning even after a jug of milk, all while his arms were wrapped around my figure.
Did he?
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Omg!
Thank you for all the good comments I've been getting.
I'm really excited to break your hearts even more. Haha!
Anyway, let me know if you like the POV more than the third person.
I think I wanna do POV more.