Nandini's pov:
We sat in his car in utter silence none spoke a words after the little conversation we had before leaving my house..i sat there stiff nervously fidgeting with my fingers and constantly stealing a glance of him driving, the air around never felt so awkward even back at the time when we were constantly around each others neck....
In between my secret starring is when i noticed his state, he looked worned out, tired..still in his formals with his shirt half tugged in and coat nowhere is site, his hair was messy and face blank, he gave nothing for me to predict his actions and that in turn made me more anxious..of course it's not everyday that I witness an angry and unpredictable Manik Malhotra! I sure was anxious with sweaty palms and feet yet I knew I was up for everything he has stored in for me...
I still didn't knew where we were heading too but I couldn't dare to get myself word that out to him..every passing moment terrified me a bit more, I tried suppressing the weird, scaryy thoughts that made way into my mind but couldn't help it..everytime I thought about what possibly the thing could be, I could only come up with the worst of the assumptions that would leave me petrified further if humanely possible...lemme tell you your mind is your worst enemy in situations like these...whatever it was one thing that I was sure of was that, he would never intentionally hurt me I trust him on this and this probably helped me the most to save myself from wreaking!
Still in my thoughts I never realized when the car came to a halt as an indication that we reached..I was expecting it to be some place that I merely knew existed but turns out it wasn't.. it was a place I was very much familiar with infinity...
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As soon as the car was at halt without a seconds delay he left the car slamming the door shut without sparing me a single glance..I jumped on my place a little as he banged the door..without waiting for me he dashed into the office, taking it as as a clue I followed him on my heels..
Today being an off there were hardly people in and around the building the little staff present primarily included guards.
He rushed towards the elevator with me tagging along as we entered he pressed the button to the floor our cabin was on and for the first time in the entire journey from my house to the office he looked at me slowly...his eyes red, blood red and scary, scary enough to send a few chills down my spine..I still held my calm and getting myself together starred right back in his eyes trying to figure out what he was actually going through...but this time his eyes told a different story, he didn't look mad, it wasn't the anger that his eyes held rather something more deep, more intense, more dreadful, more chilling...
Hate..I felt something dying inside me just with the thought that this hate that his eyes carried was for me...I couldn't say if it actually was the way i was assuming it to be or not..but I knew I would die a thousand death if the hate that his eyes beheld was for me...I didn't want to think this way but I also had no reason to think otherwise....
I felt my throat dry up when I tried speaking, I wasn't sure what ny next words should be but the urge to initiate conversation was inevitable..I couldn't..I couldn't frame a single sentence, he was still starring right at me with his dark, distant brown orbs..the abrupt aloofness his eyes held was alien to me and I preferred it being that way.
Before I could say anything the ping of the elevator broke our trance..he left the elevator and I followed him yet again conscious and careful about my steps, sweating all the way..I expected him to get into our cabin but I was shocked when he moved past it and stood right outside the room...
I knew at this moment that the question he mentioned about earlier were the questions of his unspoken past that I had...
I was quick in my steps so I reached him soon..I stood behind him waiting for him to lead..he unlatched the door and got in with me following his trail..as soon as we got in his entire demeanor changed, I couldn't help but notice the sudden change in him..he went ahead and switched the lights on and the room lit up it wasn't as dark as the last time I was in, the room had sufficient lights this time..
With ploddingly he went and stood right in front of the gaint picture of the beautiful lady that hung on the wall..I was merely few steps behind him, observing his every action carefully, his face had this sudden calmness as he caressed the picture with his fingertips slowly as if careful about not hurting it..he appeared much relaxed then he was out of this vicinity..I drifted my attention from him to the frame on the wall..
Although it wasn't the first time I was witnessing this gorgeous face but I still couldn't help but just adore her beauty even more..I wasn't sure what relation he shared with this unknown enigmatic female but I wouldn't blame him if he was in love with her..I doubt how anyone cannot fall for her..even though just a picture her charm and allure went no hidden.
"she's gorgeous!" I whispered unknowingly to myself but as the room was too quite my voice reached him too..
" she was!" he whispered in his hoarse, heavy voice..not for once did he look anywhere but her face..
" she was...the..the most beautiful person i have ever known..not merely by her appearance but more so by the way she was an extremely kind human epitome of humbleness..she possessed this beautiful smile that did everything to charm people"
"...I...I never had a happy family Nandini..maine kabhi family kya hoti hai uss feeling ko mehsus hi nhi kiya..karta bhi kaise when my so called parents were always around each other's neck or running this never ending race of greed..in sab main uhne kabhi yaad hi nhi aaya ki I needed them....
Iss sab ke baad bhi..mujhe hardly kabhi apni family baaki sab ki tarah na hone ka dukh hota tha pata hai kyu...kyuki I had her..meri di avya..."
His voice turned heavy as he spoke, it was not his usual heavy husky voice rather his voice had pain, this undying pain that I failed to fathom...but just as he started talking about her his voice changed..it no longer carried the baggage of pain rather it had this unknown relief...his eyes shone and his lips curved into a small smile...I was soo sure that he shared a very close and deep relationship with her and somewhere I couldn't stop but admire his love for her..
Although being taken aback with the new found information about his sister but I held back my surprise as I didn't want to interrupt him.. I had my fair share of questions to be answered but I knew in the course of time I will have a reason to all.
" she was the perfect definition of her name...sunshine, being the only ray of sunshine in my life..mujhe na apne parents ke saath spend kiya hua koi moment yaad hi nhi hai..kyuki shayaad kabhi kiya hi na ho..my entire childhood was her..mere saare relations sirf meri di se jude the she was a mother to me when I needed the warmth of one..like a father she stood before me everytime to protect me...guide me..like a sibling she was my secret holder..I annoyed her beyond extent but she still took all of it without a single complain..
You know unhone mujhe ek baar bataya tha that..that how happy she was when she first took me in her arms..kaka kehte the..that day..she couldn't stop jumping around the entire house..huh..probably the only person that was happy by my birth besides dadu....kyuki baaki sab ke liye toh main sirf ek..unwanted responsibility ki tarah tha jo unhe na chahte hue nibhani padh rahi thi....
Voh bhi Sirf dadu ki vajah se..mere dadaji Rajshekhar....unhone mere parents ko warn kiya tha ki agar unlogo ne kuch bhi galat kiya mere saath toh voh unhe apni property main se kuch nhi denge aur unki death ke baad sab charity main chala jayega...they were afraid..aur isliye voh log chah kar bhi kuch nhi kar sake...dadaji na hum dono se bahot pyaar karte the..main aur di were his entire world....voh humare saath utna time nhi spend kar paate as he always was on some business tour but whenever he used to be home he spent his entire time with us laughing, playing, narrating us a lot of his experiences and I always used to be very intrigued by his knowledge and experience...
Every word of his is still fresh in my memory...with passing time he was getting weak due to his age yet he didn't stop doing what he loved that is his work...us bich main jab bhi dadu nhi hote the di always used to be around..voh apni padhai aur mujhe dono ko balance kar leti thi...making sure that I never feel left out..main na unke bina kuch nhi kar pata tha..nothing...she was the one person I started and ended my day with..
I needed her to wake me up in the morning and then at night sleeping on her lap narrating my entire day to her while she did too was how I liked my day to be..phir time guzra aur hum bade hogaye...I was around 8th or 9th grade when my classmates started bullying me a lot saying how I was an illegitimate child and so my parents never showed up on any parents meeting...how I was a burden on them...how..how they never wanted me...maine na bahot..bahot try kiya Nandini sach main par their voices started haunting me...
Main cha kar bhi nhi suppress kar saka..I was disgusted by myself..my existence started haunting me..main khudko sabse dur karne laga..school jana band kar diya..khudko kamre main lock rakhna..kisise baat nhi Karna.....par pata hai in sab main sabse zyada hurt maine..meri di ko kiya....she tried nandini..tried to talk me out of all this jab ki unhe pata bhi nhi tha what was going on with me but phir bhi unhone kabhi mujhe akela nhi choda...maine unke saath khudko share karna band kar diya..I..I pushed her away.." while he was narrating, the side of his unveiled itself to be the one of a scared kid,a kid who was fighting a battle within himself at an age so tender, this was ironically contrasting to the Manik I had known for so long...I couldn't imagine the amount of self doubt he must have went through...he still wasn't facing me but his words made my heart bleed..it was as if I could feel his pain...
" but she still didn't give up..inspite of me being reckless and ridiculous she still was worried for me...mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai how she barged in my room one fine day having enough of me building my walls up..that was the first time I saw her anger..she yelled at me for being so careless about myself and how she felt when I wasn't talking to her as she finished she ended up crying..it hurt my heart to see her crying Nandini and it felt terrible to realize I was the reason of her tears..so I rushed and hugged her for my life and cried out with everything that I had in me with just holding on to her like she'll elope somewhere if I left her...in turn she held me tighter and stood strong with me....holding me and kissing my hair to calm me down..like she always did..
Once I felt I could talk, I broke the hug and after what felt like ages I layed on her lap and told her about everything that happened back in school..she held me close and consoled me saying how precious I was and how much I meant to her so what others say about me shouldn't matter..I remember falling asleep in her lap after weeks....uske dusre din hi she accompanied me to my school and made sure those guys who bullied me were rusticated..unhone unke parents ko bhi bahot sunaya and made those kids to apologize to me...she was just 18 when all of this happened but she possessed this unreachable level of courage especially when I was in picture otherwise she was the most docile person one would ever come across...
She was this protective always..unke rehte na I knew nothing in this world could harm me ever...everything after that was going perfect..I was happy with my di and dadu around but suddenly one day dadu ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi and before we knew he passed away...it left me and di shaken hum..hum sirf unhne dekhte rahe until they took his body away...me and di..we..we cried the entire night..we had never felt this alone and lonely ever...
Hum bahot dar gaye the Nandini bahot... kuch samaj hi nhi aa raha tha..uss raat we just hugged each other tight trying to assure each other one about our presence.." I never knew when my eyes started tearing up..I was soo into him that I didn't care about anything else right now!
" humne kisi tarh voh raat guzari that was the toughest night for both of us di ne kisi tarah mujhe aur apne aap ko sambhala we still were in a shock but we knew we have to get back and stay strong as his last rituals were still left....it was hardly two days after his death abhi tak unke saare last rites pure bhi nhi hue the..aur mere parents ne property ke liye ladna shuru kar diya..I felt terrible..how could they Nandini..mere dad unko zara sa bhi dukh nhi hua apne dad ke death ka!?..Nyonika se toh main vaise hi kuch expect nhi kar raha tha...
My dadu didn't deserve this Nandini..he didn't deserve a kid like my dad..he was the best person and unko..aaisa beta mila jo apne paiso ki lalach main itna kho gaya ki unke chauthe ka bhi intazaar nhi kar saka..
I felt helpless that I couldn't do anything but I was determined to give my dadaji the last rites he deserved..jab voh apne paiso ke batvare main busy the main vahi khada tha par jaise meri puri zindagi unka mujh pe dhayaan nhi gaya usdin bhi nhi gaya tha...unaware that I was a spectator to all of this they started blurting their future plans main vaha se jane hi vala tha as their negativity started getting into me when I heard something
That..that left me stunned!"
Kafi gehre honge uske dil ke ghav,
Varna lafzoo ko aaise chikhte hue
pehle kabhi suna nhi....
~ saru singhal
Ps: introducing Jeniffer winget as avya...
Heyy!! guys i hope you guys liked the chapter if you did please do vote and comment it means so much-❤