Jin ordered me to rest for a while after he'd finished wrapping my knee back up. When I tried to protest, he gave me the doctor's glare then left the room. It was hard to sleep with the shouting that went on outside, but being left in a dark room didn't leave many options. I ended up falling asleep at some point, and I woke up a while later. It didn't feel like much time had passed, but the shifting on the ground told me otherwise. I drag myself to the edge of the bed and catch a glimpse of Jimin sleeping. He looked uncomfortable with one leg hanging off the inflated mattress, the blanket bunched around his legs, and the pillow on the floor. I chuck a pillow and smack him square in the face.
He jolts awake. "What?! What?" He picks up the pillow before looking up. "You slept through dinner, idiot."
Good to know we're back to normal.
He kissed my neck.
Nope. That didn't happen.
"Just get up here. Stay on your side of the bed and I won't kick you off." I drag my body back over to my side. The pillow smelled faintly of vanilla from my hair.
I don't face him as he crawls into the bed. He shoves a pillow between ours.
"Are you hungry?" he asks quietly from the other side of the pillow wall.
"Not really." I stare at the ceiling. "Was Jungkook any better?"
"Jin-hyung didn't let any of us go see Kook after he told him to rest, so I don't know. Taehyungie didn't even get to see him." A shift of the covers. "You sure you're not hungry?"
"Shut up, asshole."
Growl.
Thank you, darkness, for hiding the red that now stretched up my face.
A sigh. "What do you want me to get you?"
"A knuckle sandwich."
"Already gave you that."
"How about your head on a platter?"
A scoff. "No. It'd be too difficult to behead myself then give it to you."
I paused for a moment before laughing. "What kind of reply is that? Your bark is less than your bite now."
He sits up and looks at me. I can see the outline of his messed hair and the shape of his eyes. The whites outline his brown iris, but the dark around us hid that quality that drew me in.
"Get your knee better. Then start picking fights."
I sit up, glaring at him. "I can beat you even without my leg."
He jabs my knee, and I make a sound as I smack him back. He falls off the bed with a loud thud and a small (dramatic), "Ow."
"You really are an asshole."
He stays on the floor. "Says the bigger asshole."
I swing my legs down, my feet settling on the ground. My knee didn't bend at all because of what Jin had done, but it worked for me. I stand up, feeling stronger than before. Guess that doctor does know what he's talking about.
I shift to hop to the kitchen, but it's hard to lift the straightened leg. I try to add pressure onto it, and it replies by sending pain shooting up my leg.
There's a shift of fabric as Jimin puts a shirt on. "Relax, I'll help you get to the kitchen. We don't have crutches, so don't even think about whining."
"Don't even think about whining," I mock. "Says the big whiner."
He puts my arm over his shoulder and slides a hand around my hips. I can feel where our bodies are pressed together, where his muscles are solid, where his hand rests on my wrist. The painstakingly obvious one is the hand on my hip. It's firm to keep me up, and it feels like flame is spreading across my body from that point. Warmth permeates through my body like steam in a room. It had never bothered me before, so why does every little touch affect me so much now? All I'd done was answer some questions. He's the one who did all the weird shit. Yeah. This is his fault.
"My knuckles healed well because of how you treated them."
I look at him. "Oh? Is that a 'thank you' I hear?"
He opens the room door and turns on the living room lights. "Yeah, maybe, whatever. Consider that me saving your life makes us even."
I smirk. "As if. I was all ready to die, and you took away my thunder."
He glares daggers. "Don't joke about that. You're still one of us." He jabs where my tattoo is. "We're not whole without you."
I look away, cheeks warming. He sets me at the table before going to the fridge to get the leftovers from dinner. He starts heating it.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm only helping you because the hyungs asked me to and you look pathetic."
"Naturally."
It fell quiet, and it was as weird as it always was. If anything, it was more so. There was something left unspoken that hung in the air. It had never been so strange with just the two of us, even when we used to spar. I had to say something, anything, to break this silence.
"Did you look at the list of fight moves I want to teach the others?"
He looks away from the microwave. "I did, yeah. There's a lot of ground work in there."
"Without ground work, I wouldn't have beaten you that first time."
Or survived yesterday.
"You did not beat me. You hit me with a frying pan. That's different."
"Uh huh."
Our glares meet. Tension seems to build, build, buildㅡ
Then the microwave beeps.
Jimin scrambles to shut it off to keep from waking anyone up. He slaps at the buttons until it finally turns off. I can't help but snicker at him.
He sets the food in front of me before sitting across from me. He looked grumpy at the very least and mad at the most. His eyes were bloodshot too. He still looked devilishly handsome, and I hate him for it. Especially those eyes. Those eyes took me in and dismantled every bit of my trauma. It was like the experiences held no pain, they were just pieces of who I am. It felt like he could solve my puzzle, see the complete picture.
And that unsettled me.
I start eating the noodles to focus on something other than him. "What happened to you and Taehyung after we got separated?"
He rests his chin on his hand. "We got attacked by a hoard of guys. It was easier to deal with because they were just shooting, so Tae disabled them." He looks at the wall. "They weren't trying very hard to kill us, which I still don't understand."
A thought popped back into my head. "They're under orders to capture us. Not kill us. That's why they…" My fist clenches. "… why they toyed with Jungkook like that."
"I'm going to kill Chae with my own hands. Not some gunshot or stab, I'm going to watch the light leave his eyes."
My hand settles on the table. I look at him, at his eyes that never fail to draw me in. There's boundless rage held within them, hatred that stretches to his very soul. I've never seen it before, not even in my own eyes. None of the other members had that look, had that darkness. It was like they'd come to terms with it and merely wanted revenge. Jimin's eyes, though… He wasn't satisfied with just preventing further damage. He wanted to hurt Chae with his own hands. He craved the satisfaction of torturing someone as he'd been tortured. It fueled him in each violent thing he did, became that sharpness in his eyes. It came out to play on every mission, in every fight, in every meeting that involved Chae's name.
But his eyes yesterday were not like that. They held a darkness unknown, but they held light as well. They shined in the blackness of his soul, in the hatred that beat his heart. There was hope for more than this existence. A star to hang onto and reach for. That came out whenever he smiled, when he helps the members, when he's tired, and even when, well, when he looks at me.
His eyes met mine. That light shined through the darkness, hiding the hate again.
"What?"
I shake my head. "Nothing."
~~~~~
I was a little miffed that Jin wasn't letting me do anything for the sparring except sit. He propped my leg up and ordered me to stay. Jungkook was sitting next to me, wearing sunglasses. He seemed light sensitive after getting beamed in the head. He also wasn't allowed to do anything. Taehyung pat Jungkook's head before going to move the couches. The living room was becoming the makeshift sparring room. Mats were laid out in the middle. Jimin and Yoongi started on the mats first, both in gym clothes. Jimin's tattoo was peeking out from the top of his shirt. Yoongi's tattoos were stark on his wrists. He had more muscle to him than I'd expected. The tone on his arms was pretty distinct. It was nothing compared to Jimin's, though, so the older would have to fight smarter.
"Alright, so, the first thing we're going to do is show how to properly disable an opponent," Yoongi hums, adjusting his gloves. He steps closer to Jimin, who looks pretty relaxed. "So, don't do anything stupid like trying to dodge it. That requires a lot of experience." He points to me. "(Y/N) has only been able to avoid bullets because he/she has more experience than any of us. Instead, deflect as best you can then aim for sensitive parts." He points to Jimin's eyes, nose, throat, knees, and between the legs. "Any of these places work. The face is more preferable, but people are often protective of that."
"Am I gonna get stabbed in the eyes?" Jimin asks.
The older shakes his head. "I won't actually do anything that requires Jin to step in."
They get into fighting positions. Jimin goes forward a bit slowly, occasionally glancing at the three learners to make sure they could see everything. He swings for Yoongi's face, and Yoongi only turns his head to lessen the impact. The hit is heavy, as we can all tell from the sound, but the ex-mafia member is unfazed. He kicks his leg out and pushes Jimin's knee to the side. Even without much force, the younger loses his form and falls. Yoongi rubs his cheek, which is red from where he got hit. He helps Jimin back onto his feet.
"Jimin, being a good bad guy, aimed for my jaw." Yoongi rubs his jawline a bit too. "Don't let them hit that. That throws your senses off and could disable you long enough for a critical hit."
Namjoon's head tilts a little. "Critical hit?"
"One that makes or breaks the fight." Yoongi puts a hand over his diaphragm. "Mafia guys like to hit here. It knocks the air out of you and can make you pass out if they do it right."
Jimin puts a hand on the back of Yoongi's neck. "Or here. If hit hard enough, you can die. At the very least, you pass out."
"Just slam them in the dick," I cut in. "They're not going to be very defensive of there and they might faint from the pain. Plus, it's easy access when on the ground."
Everyone looks a bit uncomfortable at my suggestion.
"Do we have to?" Hoseok whines.
All of us laugh a bit, then I shake my head. Hoseok looks relieved as I say that, a smile forming on his face.
"Either way," Jimin cuts in, glaring at me. "Let's have you guys practice a little. Always aiming for someone's crotch is…" He shivers, "cruel."
I roll my eyes before looking to Jungkook. Blows could be heard, but they were soft.
"How do you feel?"
Jungkook looks away from Taehyung and Jin. "Better than yesterday." He smiles a little. "Thank you for saving my life."
The gratitude rendered me silent for a moment before a smile stretched across my features. “Of course, Jungkook. You’re my little brother, after all.” I ruffle his hair, but not too hard.
When did I get like this? Where did that change occur?
My eyes slide back to the practice in front of me.
Why did I change from not caring or trusting, to now? I trusted each and every one of these men with my life. I cared heavily for each and every one of them, even the short asshole who always picked fights. I would rather die than lose even a single one.
I rest my chin on my hand.
Damn these changes.