Author Note
Hey guys! Thank you so much for the 154k reads and in honor of hitting 1k followers, I'm uploading four chapters! Enjoy 🖤 I apologize for any errors. I had to edit these chapters on my phone instead of my computer!
♟♙♟
WAS I READY TO KILL THIS BITCH? Fuck yeah.
"Are you sure about this?" Rucker asked me as we lurked through the darkened halls, the only sound being our footsteps against the slick wooden floors.
I tightened my hand on the hunting knife in my hoodie pocket. "Yeah, I am." I already had everything set up. "Why you asking?"
He stared straight ahead of us, the sconce lighting casting shadows on his face. "No reason," he said, jaw clenching tight.
"Are you bitching out on me?" I asked, pausing outside the kitchen door. The pool room wasn't too far up, and Gmie and Demo were already there. We were so close, but my gut told me something was wrong with him.
And I couldn't do this without him. I needed his head in the game. Now.
He scratched his scalp and stopped. "No..."
"Rucker..." I was literally feet away from my delicious destiny, and he was bitching out on me.
"Fine! Everything's different," he said, tossing up his hands. "You've never killed anyone before."
"And how does that change anything?"
He clenched his fingers around the machete in his hand, biting his lip. "I don't know. It's just fucking weird now. I feel like I'm popping your cherry or something."
"Technically," I said with a shrug, "we are. And I couldn't be more excited! Come on, we said we were gonna run this game, remember?"
"Yeah, but now I feel like I'm manipulating you in some way and that fucks with me."
I sighed, knowing time was ticking and soon Gmie and Demo would be leaving. This was my one shot, and I wouldn't let it pass me by. "How are you manipulating me? I brought the idea up to you."
"I know, but that's before I find out you've never killed anyone before — or if you did, you don't fucking remember. I don't know which is worse."
Definitely the second one, but I wouldn't tell him that.
"It feels like we're about to go fuck for the first time and you tell me you're a virgin. That fucking changes everything," he said, shaking his head. "Who wants to be someone's first?"
"Well, some guys get off on it — never mind," I said, cutting myself off. I really wasn't going to feed into that analogy. I closed my eyes, fingers digging into the grip of the knife. "Look, I really can't deal with this emotional shit right now. I just really want to kill them. That's it."
"Well, I'm sorry if you made that complicated now," Rucker said, glowering at me. "I can kill like that Betinia." He snapped his fingers. "I remember my first kill, and I didn't kill just for sport — it was for survival, but once I did it, I fucking loved it. And—"
"What does any of that have to do with me?"
"I'm saying that my first kill was out of necessity," Rucker said, staring at me. "I didn't start killing for fun until later. You've never killed before, what if you freeze up and Gmie gets the drop on you?"
"Trust me, I can handle virgin Mary."
"Or what if you did kill before and since you blocked it out, that memory comes back and makes you freeze up?" He closed his eyes. "Or what if you do it, and it fucks you up even more? Everyone acts big and bad until they actually kill, and then it changes them."
"Well, I'm not them."
"I've planned hundreds of gang initiations," Rucker said. "I've had pledges kill innocent people before, and some of them couldn't handle it and offed themselves because they couldn't deal with what they've done."
"Well, I'm not those people." I sighed. "You're seriously starting to sound like everyone else back there. I expected better. You were supposed to be on my side."
"I'm always on your side," he said, cheeks inflating, eyes wild. "But you can't blame me for being a bit weirded out when we're about to go kill two bitches and you've never killed one before."
"I gotta start somewhere."
"I never signed up to be your first," he said in a rough tone. "I went into this plan thinking you've been murdering people for years."
"I didn't think it mattered," I snapped.
"If you were some random one-night stand then it wouldn't."
"You really gotta stop using these sex analogies."
He blew out a breath. "They're the only ones I can think of at the moment."
"So, you're basically saying because I'm me, you feel weird?" I put my hands on my hips. "So if this were Yaz or Khan, and it was their first time, you wouldn't care?"
"No, I would give zero shits."
"That's so fucking unfair."
"It is, but I didn't make an oath with them. I didn't promise to protect them," he said, honestly. "You and I have gotten really close these last few weeks. I haven't had this much fun in years." He glanced down at the floor. "When I wasn't talking to you and you almost died, it made me realize how important you are to me. Without even thinking, I let you in, and I don't fucking do that." His hands flew through his hair. "I think it's because you remind me of my baby sister."
"The one who passed away?" I asked, softly, knowing it was a sensitive subject for him.
"Yeah," he said looking away and laughing. "She was so stubborn and always overthinking the littlest thing. But so fucking smart, anything you gave her she'd figure it out. Just like you." His voice cracked a bit, and my chest hurt. "And she'd always find a way to surprise me, and she always took my side, always trying to save me."
Yet, he couldn't save her. I moved toward him, touching his arm. "You don't have to save me, Rucker. I want to do this."
"It's not that," he said, shaking his head. "When I thought you were a killer like me, I was fucking ecstatic. I had someone who could watch my back and kill with me. But when I found out you haven't killed anything or you don't remember, it makes me want to protect you instead — shield you from this shit."
"So, you want me to just bitch out?"
"No, I'll kill them both. You can watch."
Let him. No. This is my time, okay. My time. I earned this. "No. I want to do this. I need to." I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on my whirling emotions. I didn't talk about soft shit like this. I didn't like it. I usually just rode my intense emotions like a demented rollercoaster, keeping the sappy ones hidden like a bomb on a car. "When you stopped talking to me, it did hurt. A lot." It mostly affected Betinia, but I could feel it too, even though I didn't want to admit it. "And that's because I got attached to you. Really attached." I sighed. "And these past few weeks just made me realize that even more. I've had a blast. I can really be myself around you, and I can't do that with a lot of people."
No one except my family, and I still held back sometimes. But Rucker didn't care. He never judged me. Hell, he supported me.
"I get it, though. I would throw down with anyone in this house if they came for you," I blurted out. "I get that you want to protect me, because I want to do the same for you, but I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to do something." I cut him off before he could respond. "I want this, Rucker. I really fucking want this. I need it."
I did, and I didn't know why. This craving inside me has always been there, and I hid it away like a skunk in a dumpster. And I was ready for it to come out, to ride this shit reverse cow-girl style. "And I don't know how I'm going to act afterward, I can't predict the future. But I can tell you what I want right now. This. And if I act weird afterward, you'll be there, right? You'll be there to protect me, right?"
He wiped his face. "Yes, but it doesn't have to be like this."
I let out a loud laugh. "Look at where we are. We're in a fucking million-dollar bunker where random fuckers are betting on our survival. It does have to be like this. This is my life now. And I'm charging at it head-on. I just need to know if you're gonna ride this fucker with me." I stared at him. "Are you gonna Eiffel Tower this bitch with me?"
Rucker choked down a laugh, shaking his head at me.
I smiled. "Figured I'd make my own sex analogy," I said before taking my serious tone again. "You have to let me do this."
"Betinia," he said in a pained voice.
"You gotta let me kill, Rucker. I want this. Don't treat me like some child. I know what I want." And I want to gut her like a fish and lick up the rest.
He looked so conflicted and scared. But not for himself, but for me. Genuine concern... for me. And that scared the shit out of me. I didn't let people in, but it was too late with Rucker. Probably the same with the rest of my team, but especially with him.
I coughed and turned away. "Umm we are oathed to each other and you did promise to follow me anywhere, right?" I said, not meeting his gaze. "I'm gonna kill them, so you can choose to keep that promise or not. But I'm going." I stomped down the hall, and I heard him mutter, "You're so fucking stubborn woman."
He then followed behind with the machete gripped tight.
♟♙♟
"You got everything ready," he asked as we rounded the pool room, our bodies leaning against the walls, in the shadows.
"Everything's hidden in the bathroom," I whispered, heart beating in my chest like a monkey on a drum set. It was really fucking happening.
We moved forward and peeked around the corner, the pool room in pristine view. Demo lounged in the doorway, watching Gmie swim laps, eyesight totally focused on the pool. Perfect.
"The plan's the same," I said, gripping my knife in the darkness. "I just need you to grip up Demo like we planned and leave the rest to me. I'm going to whistle three times when I need you to bring her back in."
"Understood," he said, eyes looking straight ahead, body tense.
"I need your head in the game."
"It is," he said, peeking down at me for a second. "I just don't like this. My gut's screaming at me not to do this. But I promised you I would and I know you'll do it without me, so I feel better doing it with you at least." He sighed. "Plus, you know yourself, right? If you think you can do it, then I trust you."
I could hear the raw emotion in his voice and see the trust in his eyes. That rawness immediately played on the guilt of lying to him. I had to tell him the truth. "I need to tell you something." I don't know why I was telling him this now, but after that little heart to heart, I'd feel like a dick for still keeping secrets.
"What?"
"When I was fighting Layla's killer, I bit them on the ankle. Like a really huge bite."
Rucker's eyes went wild. "And you're telling me this now and not when you first woke up?"
"I didn't know who to trust, okay?" I said. "Especially since we still have the two-killer theory on the board. But that's not the big part." I sighed. "I crossed off everyone on our team... except Seb."
His eyes widened, teeth baring at me. "And you're letting me sleep in a room with him? Especially when he's acting all emo and shit?" His words came out in a harsh whisper as he peeked at the pool room, seeing that the two girls were still occupied. "I knew it was smart to give him the bottom bunk in case he tried something." He glared at me, rage in his eyes. "We've been alone with that fucker, Betinia! How could you not tell us once you crossed us off?"
"Because I didn't want him to be suspicious and cover—"
"You gave him time to cover it up," Rucker said, fingers clenching. "It's been three fucking weeks. It could be healed by now and the evidence is gone."
"I took a big fucking chunk, okay? It's not fully healed yet, and if anything, there'd be a scar left or a scab—"
"Still, you should've told me at least."
"I just didn't want you to spook him—"
"That's not the reason why." He looked at me. "Rose petals got his hooks into you."
"What?"
"You're in denial," he said, locking eyes with me, reminding me of the way Khan looked at me sometimes. They really needed to stop hanging out. I didn't need this look from two people. "You don't want it to be him, but you think it might be him."
"What does that even mean?"
"You don't want baby wipes to be the killer, but your rational mind's telling you he probably is the killer, and you don't want to prove yourself right, so you keep thinking of excuses to prolong it.
"Am not."
"Then why haven't you pushed his ass to the ground and looked at his ankle?"
"Because—..." I trailed off, head hurting.
Because it's not him. And if you're wrong, you could damage your relationship with him. He'd know you didn't trust him. Just shut up.
An intense, sharp pain radiated throughout the left side of my head. "I just didn't want him to... hide it. I wanted to sneak up on him."
"That makes no sense," he said, glaring. "You're conflicted."
"No, I'm not — I know he's a suspect."
"But some apart of you doesn't want him to be."
"Okay? He's my friend. Of course, I don't want him to be the killer."
"You don't go to these lengths for a friend."
"He's just a... frien..." I went silent. Even Betinia was silent.
For me, Seb was Seb. Predictable and boring, and if he was the killer, I'd enjoy torturing the hell out of him.
But with Betinia, I could feel her likeness for him, her loyalty. And that stopped me. Every time, I wanted to walk over and confront him, she'd stop me.
And it wasn't just her words, but I could feel her emotions and it was affecting me. That's never happened before. And I didn't notice it until Rucker said something.
I usually did what the fuck I wanted when I was out and I still did, but now it was like Betinia was....
Apart of me. I am a part of you, Tini. I am yo — shut up. It's nothing. You're you and I'm me and I'm just letting you get to me. Not anymore though.
I couldn't deal with this right now. I just wanted to kill those bitches and forget this ever happened. Once this was over, I would pull Seb down and fucking look at his ankle.
But he — shut up. I run this show now. And I'm not listening to you anymore. I don't need you. You do. I don't. I really fucking don't. Fine. I'm gone. My brain hummed and popped, a sharp pain jetting up my neck.
I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"We need to fucking deal with it as soon as fucking possible," Rucker said, lowering his voice. "I don't know what the fuck you see in twinkle toes, but you need to sever it now."
"Rucker."
"There's something off about him. I fucking know it. I feel it in my fucking bones. And I know why. He's Layla's killer."
"You could be right, but we'll deal with it later."
"We'll deal with it now," Rucker said, stomping away, but I gripped him back by his hood.
"You need to calm your titty balls, okay?" I pulled him, so he was looking at me. "We need to do this first, and I promise I'll look at his ankle first chance I get."
"And if you don't?"
"You can do it."
"So, I can do whatever I want to string cheese and you won't stop me?"
"Yes, but only if I don't do it."
"You got twenty-four hours."
Betinia was gone, so she wouldn't effect my decisions anymore. Seb was mine to deal with. Alone. "Fine. Now can we do this?"
"Yes, but this better be the last time you hold something from me."
"It is. I promise."
He shook his head. "You have the worst taste in guys. You got Jookie who's a fucking psychopath and Sebastian who's probably plotting to kill you."
"Jookie tried to kill me too."
"You're literally proving my argument."
"My boyfriend back home was normal."
"That you know of," he said, shaking his head. "Come on, let's do this. I need to get my aggression out now before I just go back and fucking stab toothpaste in his throat."
We peeked around again and saw that Gmie and Demo were still there. Gmie swam while Demo kept pacing, keeping watch.
Rucker tiptoed forward, staying in the shadows, and moved toward the left, near the left-side pool door. He bent down while I stayed close to the wall, peeping around the corner.
Rucker tossed a coin against the outside of the glass door. Plink.
Demo whirled toward the entrance, intense panic forming on her tanned face. "Hello?" she said, tone soft while looking a bit alert. After a moment, she turned back again, shoulders still tense.
Rucker flicked another quarter, hitting the glass again, but this time letting it roll for a bit.
Demo jolted in place, body quivering like a baby rattle. "Gmie — did you hear that?"
But Gmie never answered because she was still underwater, only the splashing of fluid hitting her ears.
Taking a deep breath, Demo reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a BB gun, reminding me of the night she shot me, which made me more heated.
Bitch, you're going down. I'm gonna mutilate the person you love right in front of you. I promise you that.
Stepping forward with the gun aimed, she slowly stepped toward the entrance, squinting her eyes like she was trying to see within the dimness. But our black clothes shielded us like armor.
"Hello?" she called again, looking around, waiting. Her feet stopped right at the edge of the threshold, her body leaning forward out the door to get a better look.
Neither of us moved. The air coming up my throat paused, stuck like hair in a drain.
"Must've imagined it," Demo whispered and began turning around.
But during her mid-turn, Rucker sprang from the corner like a panther on their prey. His right arm struck her in the throat, cutting off all noise as he smacked the gun from her hand, the soft metal making a sliding clank noise down the hall. Then, he wrapped his left arm around her body, lining it with his before tossing them both to the floor and rolling away into the hall.
My eyes widened at the flawless attack, reminding me of a beautiful predator in action. I was so glad he was on my team. He took that bitch down in mere seconds without barely making a sound.
Demo panted and struggled on the floor in his grip, trying to scream, but Rucker elbowed her in the ribs one time, and she went limp.
He then nodded at me. "Go," he whispered while sliding them both further into the shadows.
Ready or not, here I come bitch.
♟♙♟