Nandini's pov:
Marine drive the place that owns my heart, i have been in awe of this place since forever, the charm and the peace that it brought along always left me curious and wanting for more...this place is my escape after stars and considering my love for water, i could never get enough of this place..this place and this spot has seen the raw, real, vulnerable me....it has seen me crying my eyes out at various times when i felt like giving up on everything, it has seen me consoling myself and standing up strong yet again to fight the world...
I could never imagine coming here with anyone and ironically i was here with him, on the same place, same spot...we left the office and he got me to marines, i looked at him confused he gestured me to get down and i did, coincidentally we sat on the same spot i sit, everytime i come here...
We sat there with a comforting silence letting the music of the waves grace our ears, the slow evening winds romancing with our hairs, the sound of traffic behind little loud yet not loud enough to distrub the peace that the waves brought along from the deepest sea..as much i loved this ambience, i was intrigued to know the reason he got me here, not able to hold it more i voiced out my thoughts..
" why are we here manik!?" i said turning my face from the beautiful after sunset view to his face which was an equally mesmerizing view for me, he was one hell of a gorgeous creation of the one in heaven!
His relaxed posture turned stiff and his back straight he looked at me, his eyes had this different look into them that i tried but failed to comprehend..
" nandini! I know kuch hua hai that you are behaving so distinct suddenly, and..i think i again did something that might have hurt you..i..i..am sorry par please tum aaise distinct mat behave karo I don't..i can't take it" i felt horrible when he said this, i wanted to stop him and tell him it wasn't his fault it was all me..but..i stayed still seeing such strong emotions that his eyes held..his eyes we like magnet that i was attracted to since forever after the mole above his lips..
that look in his eyes was so captivating that i forgot that i had to take eyes off him, i realized i was starring at him for much longer than appropriate but i didn't care, i didn't wanted to leave the sight of his charmingly mischievous yet innocent eyes that now were dying to communicate millions of emotions to me, i felt a tingle passing through my body, i had small goosebumps all over me with the intensity of his words and eyes..
I probably knew this wasn't the right time, and definitely not the right thing to say but i also knew i needed a few answers the more i delay it, the more problems it will bring along..so without breaking the eyelock i gathered up a little courage scared of the repercussions of my words and uttered..
" Don't you trust me manik!?" i asked him, he frowned on my out of nowhere question, but still replied..
" nandini! Trust karna is never been easy for me..i don't know if i trust you..but i do know that my heart does and forces me to do as well..i want to trust you nandini! " ohh manik! His eyes spoke all the truth that i needed to know..
" Agar aaisa hai, toh...toh..tumne mujhe nyonika ke baare main kyu nhi bataya!" i said taking a long breath before uttering the words i knew he was dreading to hear, i could feel his body getting stiff and his muscles hardening just with the mere mention of her name! That lady sure did something worse to him! I soo wanted to make her pay for everything wrong she did to him!!
" kya jana hai tumhe..kya nhi bataya maine!?" he said his eyes that depicted a completely different emotions just moment back had sheer anger in them..they were turing red and as charming as they appered to me a while back, i was scared seeing them turn in the darkest shade of red!
I know the next thing i say probably would have worst consequences but i knew there was no going back now!
" ki..ki voh tumhari...ma..!" before i could say anything more i heard his growl..
" STOP!! right there, SHE AIN'T My MOTHER" i could literally here his breath that were raging with anger..he was huffing like a angry bull, i know i had to do something before the damage becomes irrevocable..
I gently shifted closer to him and held his hand that rested down and said rubbing his side arm..
" manik..manik..please calm down i didn't intend to hurt you please....shant ho jao!" i said not realizing my voice came out crooked..after some minutes i could feel him calming under my touch as i kept muttering sweet words after intervals to calm him down! My efforts paid off and soon he was stable after he took a long breath closing his eyes and slightly tilting his head backwards..i probably shouldn't think of this right now! But goddd!! He looked fucking hot!!! I couldn't help but drool over the sight but soon enough got my composure back slapping my self mentally...
" nandini! Nyonika is not the kind of a person you would want to know about she's pure devil, evil, even her shadow brings mourning with it..she isn't a kind of lady that anyone would want to even know forget being associated with and definitely not worthy enough to be called a mother..i despise the sight of her to my core aur usdin goa main usse jab maine dekha i lost it..all the memories, every bad memory that i tried to forget like my worst nightmare came like a flash to me..
Kaise usne mujhse mera bachpan cheena, how maa ke naam pe she did everything to me that even the wost enemy would dread or think twice before doing..she took away the most..most precious person away from me nandini!! Usne mujhe zinda toh chod diya par mujh se mere zindagi cheen li...tab se, bas tabhi se maine than liya tha ki abb se main jo kadam lunga uska maksat sirf nyonika ki barbadi hogi..voh bhek mangegi mujhse usse marne dene ki par main usse marne nhi dunga..
Uske har ek aasu, har ek dard har ek taklif, uski tadap ka badla lunga main nyonika se" i was scared, scared seeing the intensity of anger that he carried..he could dig her grave right here right now if she was here..while he was saying all this looking at me i couldn't help but stare at him feel everything he said.. I could feel the anger burning inside me for her..
" nandani!! Mera architecture main kabhi intrest hi nhi tha, i had nothing to do with this field..i loved something else, something she always wanted me to pursue..i loved music nandini..mera architect banne ka aur ye firm khada karne ka teen reason hai first being..randhir shikawat nyonika's husband, shikhawat group of architecture ka owner..aur dusra dhruv shikhawat randhir shikhawat ka beta my once so called buddy, they are all the reason, i lost every will and reason to live nandini..
Main har voh cheez karne lag gaya tha jo mujhe nhi karni chahiye thi..drinking senselessly until i loose my conscious, i always slept and woke up at two different places with no idea how i got there, drinking everyday became my habit, subha shaam sirf sharab haath main hoti thi, par nasha utarne ke baad dil pe lage chot ka dard fir yaad aajata..
i couldn't bear it nandini..bahot dard hota that..bahot, main kisiko kuch bata bhi pata, isliye maine gusse ka sahara liya taaki main sabko khudse dur rakh saku, taaki koi mujhe aur hurt na kar sake..sabko sirf yahi dikhta that ki main kitna bura insaan hu kisine mere gusse ke nakab ke piche ki tadap kabhi dekhi hi nhi..
Jab daaru se kuch nhi hua toh maine drugs shuru kar diye, main din raat nashe main dhud rehta, mujhe na kisike aane ka hosh hota na kisike jaane ka..aachi lagne lagi thi voh duniya..vaha dard kam hota tha na" he said with a dry chuckle, as he started speaking about his dark life, my eyes started tearing up..i could...i could never imagine this..aur usne yeh sab akele saha hai..i suddenly had this urge to hide him in my arms from the entire world..
I wanted to keep him away from all the evil of the world, i realized his soul was innocent,soo pure, he was the accurate definition of his name manik a priceless gem, his innocence was used and corrupted so brutally by these people..i could feel this gush of hatred for them that they made him go through all of this..i held on to his hands tightly entwined with mine and sat too close to him, in a way letting him know by our proximity that i was here for him, that'll be there for him..
" 4 saal nandini..main us andhere main 4 saal tak tha, mujhe apne haal ka thekana nhi tha, cabir 5 saal pehle apne college ke liye London chala gaya tha, toh usse kisi baat ki khabar nhi thi, voh call toh roz karta tha par main utha tha nhi tha, huh..kya bolta usko nandini..mujhe khud hi samaj nhi aa raha tha kuch, mujh main feel karne ki capacity hi nhi thi, i was emotionally numb for four fucking years..main apna sab kuch kho chuka tha..i was living my worst nightmare..
It was that day when he came out of nowhere and saw my state, saale ne bahot mara, chillaya par saath nhi choda, he helped me to get over a lot of things and he was always there whenever i felt i couldn't..he stood there with this firm belief in me that made me continue..uska sabse bada haath hai nandini mere yaha hone main" he said his eyes had a small spark in them and his face adorned a little smile as he spoke about cabir..i smiled listening about their friendship..he surely was the best friend anyone could ever have!!
" i am broken..Main toot chuka hu nandini, itne tukdo main ki shayad app sametne jau toh chot sirf gehri hogi, shayaad mere aaise toote rehne main hi bhalai hai!" he said, his face had that broken look, the looser one! I soo wanted to screm noo!! That he isn't ment to stay broken, that a soul like him has all the right and should never have to go through all these..
" toh tumhe chot ke dar se apne app ko sametna chod diya!?" i asked him,actually whispered looking straight into his eyes that bore into mine..if a little away form each other he probably would have missed out on everything i said..
" aur chot khane ki takat nhi hai nandini! Iss baar main seh nhi paunga!" he said his eyes covered with sadness and hurt..i felt terrible to see him like this..
" aur agar main kahu ki main yeh karna chati hu toh!?" i said and he looked at me confused..
" let me in maink, please..i want to heal you" i said and his expression spoke everything his words couldn't..he was taken aback he sure didn't see this coming..he took his own sweet time to register my words but replied soon..
" mat karo aaisa nandini..tum mere jitna karib aaogi tumhe hurt ke bina kuch nhi milega..mere paas tumhe dene ke liye kuch bhi nhi hai sivaye andhere ke" he said lifeless with a blank face..
" mujhe kuch chaiye bhi nhi manik! I Just want to get you out of the same darkness..you deserve the world maink..please don't push me away!" i said my voice cracking and tears that stopped a few sentences ago brimming at the rim of my eyes like they would fall any minute now...
" huh..vaahi toh nhi kar skata na..i cant push you away nandini..i tried every possible thing to stay away from you..to keep you away from my darkness but tumse door hi nhi reh paya..you are like this magnet i am attracted to...i couldn't keep away!" he said looking straight at my face as warm blood gushed onto my cheeks painting them red by his words, i knew he saw my blush as i saw him smirking a little..
" toh mat karo na resist..let me in!" i said and he looked at me our eyeslocked..
" nandini tum samaj.." he was saying something but i interrupted...
" i want to get you out of this darkness isse zyada i don't want to understand anything!" i said in a stubborn tone and he smiled a little, what was he smiling at! I frowned at him..and gave him a what look!
" you look cute when you act stubborn" he said with a small smile and his compliment left me flushed i looked around everywhere but him not realizing i was smiling like crazy!!
" main bahot galtiyaa karta hu nandini..bahot aaisi cheeze jo mujhe nhi karni chahiye, par jab tak main usse sudharu bahot der ho chuki hoti hai...mujhe main aur tutne ki takat nhi hai nandini..agar tum mere karib aa gayi..aur meri kisi galti ki vajah se tum mujhe chod ke chali....huf main seh nhi paunga nandini.." he said huffing a little..
" i promise main tumhe aur tutne nhi dungi meri vajah se toh bilkul bhi nhi..kyuki jitni taklif tumhe hogi na uthi hi mujhe bhi hogi..i will die with the guilt that you had to suffer because of me.." i said and he looked at me bewildered..my eyes lowered and they stuck on our entwined hands..how perfect it looked!!
" agar tum sach main yahi chahti ho toh yahi sahi..but main fir se keh raha hu.." he said and i jerked my head at this but before he could complete his statement..i threw my self on him and my arms around his neck, i was almost on him and hugged him to my dear life..
"shhh..isse zyada mujhe kuch nhi sunna!" i whispered in his ears and my lips curved into the biggest smile when i felt his arms wrapping around my wait pulling me closer as he dug his face in the crook of my neck.. I could feel the curve of his lips on my neck and that made me smile wider if possible..
The peaceful sound of waves gave the perfect background music that i could ever ask for, this moment was a perfect bliss a heaven the feeling of his arms wrapped around me in a tight grip felt like this was everything that i was alive for, i could be here in his arms forever...
Saari galtiyo ka hisab jod rakha tha maine,
Usne gale laga kar saara
Hisab bigad diya...
~piyush mishra
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