Nova.
Nova baby it's ok." My Mother rubbed my back as I cried on her shoulder. "There's nothing to cry about."
"I can't get it out Mommy." Unwanted thoughts float around in my head. I wanted it to stop. It was causing me to have an anxiety attack.
"Baby please it's ok drink some water." She handed me a cup of water. Drinking water didn't help at all. My heart was racing. My hands were trembling, I was sweating.
"See if you can just take a nap." She said. I wasn't sleepy. I felt like I wanted to scream.
"I'm not sleepy Momma." I told her.
"How about a warm bath." She said, making me nod. Maybe that's what I needed.
"I'll be back to check on you." She said.
After getting out the shower felt much better. I felt relaxed. I went downstairs to my parents talking about me.
"We have to do something. She is still having attacks." Momma sighed shaking her head.
"We need to put the locks on the cabinet and drawers again if she is going to start this again." Daddy said.
"Don't say it like she does it on purpose. It's that school making her like this. We need to move."
"Baby the school has nothing to do with anything. If it was she would come to us and say it was. It's something else."
"But she's not telling us what's wrong." She said.
"She will let's not pressure her. The last thing we need is our baby trying to kill herself." He said.
I turned on my hills going back upstairs and decided to take a nap.
Waking up at 5 something in the morning already started my day off horrible. I get dressed putting on a yellow sweater and black jeggings. After I was dressed, getting ready for school.
I walked out my room and downstairs. I ate a pop tart before walking out the house with Mom. She takes me to school every morning. On the way to school it was silent until she said something.
"Your father gave you the day off today from the restaurant." She said. I nodded.
"I know." I said as she pulled up to the school.
"Hope you have a good day today. Call me if anything happens." She said.
"Ok." I get out of the car. I walked up to Norm and mugged a group of girls that was so loud.
"Can't stand them. It's too early for all this." She said.
"I know." I said.
We go in the school and go to our locker. Before I could even open my locker Natalie walked up to me.
"Homework?" She held out her hand.
"I turned it in already." I spoke but my voice was so low at the moment.
"Huh? Speak louder." She said.
"I turned it in." I spoke louder.
"Oh. Good." She said walking away.
"Ion know why you let these people run over you like that." She said
"I'm just nice." I told her.
"A little too nice." She said.
The bell rings letting us know it was time for class. We headed into class and sat in my seat waiting for the lesson to start. While I was waiting I doodled on some paper. Doodling turned into drawing something meaningful.
I felt the seat next to me fill in. I glance to my left to see Kilo looking at my drawing. I flipped it over putting in my binder.
"Welcome to class everyone. Today we are going to do something different." Mr Hayne said. "Can someone tell me what's life?"
"A thing a human lives." Nick said.
"True. But give me more details."
"The existence of a human or animal." I said.
"Yes. Anyone wants to add to that?"
"Something that's alive." Natalie said.
"Sort of But ok. Now I want someone to come up to the board and write a famous quote you heard."
Mr Hayne started calling on people from the back of the room that didn't pay attention. Basically people were writing the basic quotes that didn't have a meaning to it.
"Isaiah." He said. He looked up and stood up grabbing the marker. He started writing.
Life hurts more than death
"Tell me what's this mean to you?" Mr Hayne asked.
"Means death you die ain't no coming back you either in heaven or hell. Life you live this shit. It's hell." He said.
"He's so fine." A girl said, making some girls chuckle. They just missed everything he was talking about.
"Nova. You can come up here?" Mr Hayne said.
I put down my pencil and went up the board. I didn't even know what to write. I just wrote something that probably didn't even make sense.
She's drowning and nobody sees her struggle.
"What?" Someone said.
"Huh?"
I put the marker down. "I thought you said a famous quote we heard. Ain't nobody heard of that."
I put the marker down and sat down. I felt him look at me. I looked at him and he was looking at my wrist. Pulled and sleeve for to cover my wrist giving my attention to Mr Hayne.
After class Mr Hayne needed to up to me after everyone left the class.
"Are you ok Miss Miller?" He asked. "What you wrote on the board, who are you talking about?"
"I just wrote something. Something that was true." I said.
"Ok." He said touching my shoulder making me flinch. "Is ok if I could touch your shoulder?" He removed his hand. I nodded. "You want to talk to a counselor?"
"No sir I'm ok." I said. He nodded. "Just making sure because we don't need our students-"
"Nova!" Norm's voice entered the class. "Come on girl."
I walked out the class room and down the hall with Norm. "What was that about?" She asked.
"Asked me if I needed to talk to a counselor." I told her.
"Why would-" She bumped into you, a guy. He turned around. I noticed it was Nick.
"My fault." He said grabbing her shoulder like she was about to fall.
She shrugged, pushing his hands away. "Uhm." She said, continuing to walk. Instead of going to our next class she walked in the bathroom.
I leaned on the wall as I waited on her. I made eye contact with Kilo. He looked away once I caught him staring at me.
Norm came out of the bathroom dusting off her shoulder. Norm is also a germaphobe.
"Can't believe this." She said. "Can't believe he just touched me."
"Norm you were about to fall and get embarrassed." I said. "You're lucky he caught you."
"Yes but ugh just the germs that's got on me." She cringed. I chuckled and shook my head.
TBC