*Trigger Warning: Panic Attack*
Dan suddenly snapped awake. He was completely out of breath, gasping for air. His heart was racing. He felt hot and cold at the same time. His life seemed to flash before his eyes, making him feel like there were seconds before he would pass out. He sat up, hugging his chest and burying his face into his knees.
"Phil!" He shouted at the man sleeping next to him. He was coughing now, still desperately trying to get air into his lungs. "Phil!" Tears were pouring out of his eyes now and he was trying his best to control his breathing but it wasn't even close to working.
Right as Dan was about to shout again, Phil's eyes opened. He noticed that Dan wasn't laying next to him like always, but he was sat up. Before Phil could ask what was going on, he noticed the way that Dan was hyperventilating. He was heaving for air causing him to shake and sway a little.
Phil immediately got up and sat closer to Dan, trying to get him out of his tight, freaking out, panic-ball. "Hey, hey, hey." He said quickly, making his way out of the blankets. "You're okay, I'm here," Phil said gently. "Deep breaths, Dan. Take some deep breaths," He urged. He raked his fingers through Dan's hair, which was already coated with sweat.
"I can't!" Dan gasped. He was trying desperately to just fucking breath, but his lungs seemed to stop working. "I can't!" He heaved again. He finally looked up at Phil and Phil saw nothing but fear and tears in his eyes. He tried to get a little closer, but made sure to keep his distance enough for Dan to not feel like he was surrounded.
"Yes you can, Bear. I believe in you, you can do it," Phil reassured Dan. "You're alright. I'm here, I got you." He brushed his hair back in constant motions, just touching Dan enough to let him know that he wasn't alone in this. "Breath," Phil said slowly. "Breath in," Phil waited for a few moments, "breath out." He carried on doing this, just helping Dan breath. After a long time, Dan was finally calmed down, his breath evening out.
"See?" Phil whispered. "There ya go..." Dan finally relaxed, letting his hands and knees call to the bed. He crawled over to Phil, clinging to him tightly. He cried into his chest feeling exhausted and worn out. He felt scared and just needed Phil. He was shivering, freezing after being so hot. The sweat glistening in his skin felt like water that was like ice.
"You cold?" Phil asked quietly. Dan nodded, trying to get closer to Phil's warmth. "How about a bath?" Phil whispered, running his fingers through Dan's curls. Dan went tense for a few moments but relaxed again when Phil said gently, "let me take care of you."
Phil knew that Dan had been having a tough time lately. His Antidepressants ran out because something happened with the pharmacy and they couldn't get it for a week so Dan was feeling like shit the whole week. It wasn't the first panic attack he's had, but it was the first one that Phil had been there for. Phil remembered when Dan talked about it, how scared he felt, how he didn't know what to do... Phil was just happy to be there with him so he wouldn't feel that way again. He wanted nothing more than for Dan to feel better.
"Okay." Dan nodded.
Phil got up and pulled Dan with him, walking him over to the bathroom. Once there, he sat Dan up on the vanity and started to run the hot water. Once he got it going, he turned to Dan. Dan's head was ducked and his fingers were wrung tightly together. His eyes were shut, keeping true to being exhausted.
Phil walked up to him, lifting his ducked head with a light kiss. Dan hummed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Phil's shoulders. He pulled away, burying his head into Phil's neck. Phil did the same, laying light kisses along the skin he could reach. Dan pulled him closer, clinging to him. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's torso, pulling him off the edge a little and keeping him as close as possible. They didn't talk, they just listened to the water run.
Once the tub was filled, Phil lead Dan into the warm water. Dan made his way out of his clothes and then into the hot water. He sighed as he sat down, realizing just how badly he needed this. After a while of sitting in the the water, Phil started to wash him. His fingers massaged Dan's scalp with shampoo and Dan just sat and closed his eyes at how soothing it was. They spent a while doing that, Dan just relaxing at Phil's touch.
Once Phil felt confident in his washing skills and Dan felt at ease, he got Dan new clothes. Dan walked back to the bed as Phil drained the tub, cleaning up the mess of water. "How you feeling?" Phil asked once he was back in their room. "A little better?" He asked laying down.
"Much better." Dan said, grabbing Phil, pulling him in for a kiss. "Thanks for being here." He smiled tiredly and buried himself in Phil's chest.
"Of course. Panic attack's aren't something you should go through alone." Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan.
"Not just tonight. Thanks for always being here for me. Depression isn't something that's easy for people... and you've always stuck around, no matter how bad it gets," Dan whispered.
"I promised I would." Phil grabbed Dan's hand, running his fingers over his ring. Dan looked at him and smiled. "And maybe it's not easy or ideal, but it doesn't make me love you any less." Phil pulled Dan's hand to his, laying a soft kiss on his fingers. Dan's eyes watched Phil's lips and then went to Phil's blue eyes.
"Not a lot of people are like that, Phil." Dan laughed quietly. "I don't know how I ended up with somebody who loves me so damn much. Seeing past mental illness..." Dan trailed off. Phil leaned in for a long passionate kiss.
"I know," Phil whispered, understanding what Dan was saying. "I know," He repeated.
"But you always do. You always can find me when I'm stuck in my funks," Dan pointed out. He cupped Phil's cheek with his hand and smiled. "So, thank you."
"No problem."