*Phil's point of view*
My nerves were buzzing as I walked into work the next day. I got to the doors and just about turned around and walked back out to my car. This was not going to be good. I broke off my engagement to Alyssa. I felt awful about it, but after going on a little... date... with Dan, I realized that the feelings I had weren't for Alyssa, they were, in fact, for Dan. I knew it was mean and I should've told her the second I even suspected something, but I was so happy when she gave her ring back to me. It was an enormous relief.
But, Alyssa, obviously, was not happy about what had happened. I couldn't exactly tell her the real reason I broke up with her because I think she would just about killed Dan. I just explained that I was sick of the stuff she was putting me through. She didn't like it but... well... I didn't give her much choice.
Now that I had done it, I felt nervous as hell. I was extremely nervous to walk into work because the news was traveling fast. I was mainly nervous on what Dan would say. If I hadn't guessed his feelings correctly, then there was no point to this whole thing. Plus, then I could never tell him the way I felt.
When I walked into the office, I was immediately greeted by Felix. "Everyone, welcome the new and single Phil!" He announced to the whole group.
I felt a blush beat up my cheeks and risked a look around. Most were confused, and some were surprised. Taking a look at Chris from accounting and he wore a judgmental look. He always was sort of a prude, even if I knew he was sleeping around with Pj. But, whatever, I wasn't going to be a dick to him because he had my back when I needed it.
Finally, the real reaction I wanted to see: Dan's. Dan had gone back to his home town Wokingham after our little "date". He said he needed to figure things out, and today was his first day back. I looked quickly at Dan, who looked beyond surprised. Maybe even... mad?... about it. I looked away, wondering what he looked upset about. I decided to turn my attention to Felix, trying to keep my cool. I put my stuff down, trying to distract myself from my racing heart.
"How did you know?" I asked him genuinely. As far as I was concerned, he and Alyssa weren't all buddy buddy.
"Alyssa came into my office and quit this morning. She talked all about how she was dumped by you and how you broke her heart and-" I couldn't take it, I walked out of the room and into the snack lounge. I sat down on one of the tables and buried my face into my arms. I squeezed my eyes shut, don't cry don't cry please, I begged myself.
Felix was like that. He didn't have much of a filter and genuinely didn't understand when he was pushing limits too far. Sometimes he was trying so hard for people to like him he forgot about what things he should or shouldn't say. I didn't blame him for it, because that was just him. I just really wished he closed his damned mouth sometimes.
I heard the door open and immediately threw my head up. "Sorry, I just-" I quickly wiped the tears out of my eyes, only to realize that it was Dan. I let go of a breath I had been holding in.
"Oh... Dan." I sighed.
"You okay?" He asked, sitting down across from me. I sniffled and shrugged, looking away from his scrutinizing eyes. They aren't mean, just intense, like they were looking into my mind. "I don't blame you... you know. She treated you awful, so whatever reason you broke up with her for... she had it coming," Dan reassured me. It made me smile, but I still felt guilty.
"Here, I'll grab us some coffee." Dan got up. When we got back, we had a long chat, which actually got my mind off of Alyssa. It was nice, just talking to Dan. But something was off about him. I didn't know what, but he was just... acting weird. I didn't know if it was because of us not seeing each other for a while, but I didn't like it.
But, as he answered my question about what he did back in Wokingham, I realized why. And when I did, my heart just about stopped. Dan had gotten a girlfriend back in Wokingham. That's why he was being weird. I had no right to be upset, it's not like I had admitted my feelings to him, but it still hurt. It didn't help our funk, either. We didn't really talk like we used to anymore. Now it was just... different.
As if I wasn't having a worse enough week, Felix got the bright idea to host the Beach Games. I knew no one in the office truly wanted to go and play team bonding games in the middle of nowhere, but Felix was the boss and would not stop insisting.
On the car ride there, he explained to me that he needed someone to take over his job when he left, and this was one way he could test everyone (not a very good way, but, well, that's Felix). He also explained that I was only coming with to take notes, so it was going to be a fun day. Plus, as if all that wasn't completely dreadful, Dan was bringing Cat, his girlfriend.
The games were actually fun. People split into teams and did all the useless activities Felix put them up to. It was fun to watch and I was sort of content to see everyone having fun. That is, until I looked to see who was on Dan's team. Of course, his girlfriend. She seemed nice to everyone, greeting and smiling, introducing herself. If we had met at the office, I'm sure I would be friends with her. But, the more I watched her that night, the more I watched her and Dan interact, the more my stomach churned.
By the end of the night, I, along with everybody else, was ready to go home, but Felix had other plans. As he was finishing up the night, he talked about how, "a great Regional Manager" has courage. I thought he'd have some dumb thing like jumping into the water or some crap, but I was wrong. He had bought a thing of burning hot coals that any "courageous person worthy of the job" would walk across.
The more I listened to him talk about all of it, the more I wanted to do it. No one would step up, so I offered happily. Perhaps I needed a little courage, who knows. But he sternly declined, which I accepted, deciding not to push. But after disaster struck (Pj laying on the hot coals like an absolute idiot after Felix couldn't make it across) I realized I wanted to do this. Hell, I needed to do this.
So, as everyone walked back, I stayed behind. I took about a hundred deep breaths, but I did it! I actually did it! My feet burned, but the blood in my veins was pumping so hard I barely noticed. It was then that I finally had it: courage.
I ran over the group and interrupted whatever Felix was saying. "Hey! I wanna say something," I said immediately. I held the groups attention and ignored the way my heart was throwing itself against my ribs. I thought about my next words carefully.
"I've been trying to be more honest lately, and I just wanna say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it!" I exclaimed. I turned to Felix. "Felix, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss." The group laughed, including a nervous one from him. "Wow I feel really good right now." I laughed.
Suddenly I thought about something I had thought about for a while. "Why didn't any of you come to my art show?" It had been a big deal to me at the time. It was the first time I had ever shown my art to the public. I invited them in hopes of support but... "I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist." I was done talking to the whole group, that was all I had to say to them. I turned to the real person I wanted to talk to.
"Dan, I called off my wedding because of you," I finally told him the truth, which was, honestly, a relief. He was obviously stunned. "And now we're not even friends," I sighed. "And things are just like... weird between us. And that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Wokingham. And I really miss you." That should've been it. That's all I should've said, but I couldn't stop.
Not now.
"I shouldn't have been with Alyssa, and there were a lot of reasons to call of my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you." I looked into his eyes and felt my own water up. I looked over to Cat and sighed. "And now you're with someone else. And that's fine. It's, whatever, it's not what I'm- I'm not- Okay my feet really hurt." My adrenaline was finally dying down and I became a stuttering mess, not able to get my words out, but I had to push on. "The thing that I'm just trying to say to you Dan, and to everyone else in the circle, I guess, is that I miss having fun with you." I realized that made no sense. "Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay. I am gonna go walk in the water now. Yup, it's a good day."
I walked to the water happy, I finally did it. Finally. I took a few breaths, just listening to the water. I sat like that for a while in peace.
"How are your feet?" I suddenly heard behind me. I glanced over to see Dan.
"Medium rare," I made a joke to try to levitate the awkwardness, but I knew it didn't work.
"You know the real reason I went to Wokingham?" Dan asked quietly. I sighed.
"No... I guess not." I glanced at him and then immediately looked away.
"It was because I finally realized I needed to let you go," Dan sighed. I frowned at him, not understanding what that meant in the slightest. "I've had feelings for you... since I can remember working here. And then you were engaged... so I couldn't do anything about what I had felt for you," He looked into my eyes and suddenly my tongue felt too big for my mouth. I nodded in encouragement.
"So I gave up. And then I went back to my home to get away from you because I couldn't look at you without feeling... so damn... in love." He laughed. I laughed a little too, but I could feel tears prickling my eyes. This really needed to end happy. None of the, but... I can't.
"And then I got a girlfriend for all the wrong reasons," He sighed.
"And what were those?" I asked with a smile.
"I tried to use her to get over you." This time he looked away. I took the risk and walked just a little bit closer to him.
"Did it work?" I whispered. There was a large silence, but, then, he smiled and looked down at his feet.
"Not in the slightest." He shook his head incredulously. "Because when you came walking into the office and saying that you broke off your engagement... I realized I had made the wrong choice. So, there was nothing left to do but break up with her." He grinned. "Called her a cab home and apologized, she wasn't too offended," He explained.
I nodded and thought about my next words. It sounded like he was over Cat, but you could never be too sure. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and force him into anything...
"So where does that leave us?" I asked hopefully. He walked a little closer and slowly laced our hands together.
"Well... it leaves me wondering if you want to go on a date..." He trailed off. I gave into my impulse and leaned in. I wasn't able to hold back my feelings anymore and when Dan's lips brushed mine... I don't think I've ever felt that way about Alyssa.
"I'll think about it." I smirked at him. He huffed a laugh. "I think I need another kiss... just to be sure..." I tilted my head.
"Such a flirt, Lester." He cupped my face with his hand starting to pull my lips to his.
"Look who's talking, Howell." I finished what he started and smashed my lips to his. It was lovely, possibly the most beautiful and butterfly enticing thing I've ever done. And two kisses made me never want to stop. "Yeah, sure, a date sounds nice," I muttered.
I guess a little bit of courage goes a long ways.
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Thank you ParisHowlter for the idea of this chapter!!