You can play the song above now if you'd like.
____________________________________
It's been a month, almost two, since that all went down. It's been a rocky recovery.
Grayson and Ethan didn't immediately talk to each other. I had to bring those two hard headed people together to talk. We all talked. Their bond is back, that's all I wanted for them.
Grayson is still a little over protective when Ethan is around me but it's getting better. We're building our trust up again. Grayson and I have been good, we're just taking things slow. We both thought it was best if we took our time.
Lately I've been dealing with anxiety, I've always dealt with it but it's been bothering me and affecting me more than usual. Grayson's been very understanding, he struggles with anxiety as well. We're very patient with each other.
____________________________________
"You're going to be twenty four soon!" Grayson said as he walked into the living room with his cup of coffee. I'm sitting on the couch, hugging my knees.
I'm getting old.
"You're going to be twenty five." I said as I watched him sit across from me.
Grayson is a year older than me.
"We'll be the same age for a while." He said as he took a sip of his coffee.
"It's crazy how you meet me when I just turned twenty three, Liam was four!" I squealed.
Liam is currently five, his birthday is in January. He'll be six soon. Grayson will be twenty five soon. I'll be twenty four very soon.
"He's going to be six next year." He said happily.
"He's growing up so fast." I said with a sense of sadness setting in.
My little boy is growing up. I wish he would stay as a little baby. I'm not ready for him to be six, seven, eight, nine, then ten!
Suddenly I felt Grayson's arms wrap around me. He planted a kiss on my temple. I didn't notice him move over.
"Gray, do you think he's happy?" I ask.
"Of course he is Ashley. The happiness glows on his face whenever he's around us or just simply playing with his toys. Even when we walk around." He said as his hand rubbed along my arm.
"I feel like a horrible mom." I confessed as I look down at my knees in disappointment.
I am horrible mom. I should've been there for him more. He deserves better.
____________________________________
Grayson's POV:
Ashley's been struggling with her anxiety. It's a struggle mostly for her, I try my best to be there for her and reassure her of everything.
The other day she was questioning our relationship, which hurt. She thought I didn't love her, she thought I'd leave her again.
It's been hard. But she'll get through this.
"Ashley, you're an amazing mother to him. If you weren't, he wouldn't be this happy. You give him the world, you give him so much love." I said as I held her tight.
"You're an amazing mother and you'll continue to be one because it's in your heart. You have so much love and you care so much for him." I said.
She's crying in my arms. I wish I could do more but I know being here and talking to her is the most I can do for her.
____________________________________
Ashley's has been in bed all morning and afternoon. She's sleeping now. She hasn't really slept well.
I'm currently waiting for Liam to get out of school. All these moms are just staring at me, It makes me nervous. Once I see kids coming out the building, my attention is now focused on finding Liam.
"I've never seen a dad by himself around here before." A woman said as she approached me with a smirk on her face. Her eyes examined me and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I just laughed nervously.
"I'm Aimee." She said with a smile.
"I'm Grayson." I said as my attention went back to looking for Liam.
I felt her eyes just glued on me.
"Are you picking up your son?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said dryly.
"A single father?" She questioned.
"No, I have a fiancée." I said. My eyes looked around for Liam and I couldn't find him.
"What a shame." She said as disappointment was setting in her voice.
"She's one lucky gal, but she's not very smart letting her fiancé wander alone." She said and the smirk returned on her face. I clenched my jaw. She really doesn't get it.
"She's smart, very smart actually. I'm just simply picking up our kid." I said with a smile on my face. My smile grew when I saw Liam.
"Daddy!" Liam yelled and ran towards me.
"Hey bud!" I said as I pulled him in for a hug. He hugged me tightly and once I pulled away, I notice the lady was walking away.
"Where's mommy?" He asked as we started walking away from the school.
"She's sleeping." I said as I held his hand and crossed the road. He went on to talk about his day at school and what he did.
"Do you want to pick up some pizza and flowers for mommy?" I asked and looked down at him. He nodded and smiled even more.
That's exactly what we did.
____________________________________
Ashley's POV:
My eyes opened slowly as they were adjusting to the lighting. I stretched out as I looked around and saw no one was in the room.
"Grayson?" I call out.
Nothing.
I reach over to the nightstand and check the time on my phone. He went to go pick up Liam. I put my phone back down and lay around in bed. I slept like a rock, it's been a while.
I finally get enough energy to get out of bed and wash up. I changed into something fairly simple. I wore a simple black skirt with a maroon short sleeve crop top. I don't do much with my hair, just simply comb through it.
I suddenly hear the door opening and footsteps followed along.
"Grayson?" I yelled as I popped my head out into the room trying to listen.
Nothing.
I felt a sense of panic shoot through my body. I begin to slowly make my way over to the living room. My heart racing by the second.
Please let it be Grayson.
"Surprise!" I hear Liam and Grayson shout together as I approached the dinning room. I smiled as I realized they brought home some pizza and flowers.
"Aw thank you!" I said I smiled brightly.
"Do like it mommy?" Liam asked excitedly as he ran over to me to hug me.
"Of course baby, thank you!" I said as I hugged him tightly.
As Liam went to go change and wash up, Grayson and I were setting up the table.
"Thank you." I said happily as I felt his arms wrap around me.
"No problem babe." He planted a kiss on my head and just held me tightly.
I need this.
I loved every second of this, of him.
"He picked out the flowers." Grayson said as he pulled away and helped me out.
"Did he really?" I asked surprised, they're my favorite flowers.
"Yeah, he said they're your favorite ones." He said. I smiled. Oh my little boy. I love him so much.
The rest of the day was spent with each other. I felt relaxed, safe, and loved. Having Grayson and Liam in my life is what keeps me together. It keeps me happy.
I'm not in the best state of mind at the moment but each day they always find a way to put up with me and make me the happiest.
For that, I'm so thankful.
____________________________________
AN: If you struggle with anxiety just know you aren't alone. Despite the amount of times you do feel alone, you aren't. If anyone needs someone to talk to please message me! I'm always here for anyone. I myself struggle with anxiety and I wanted to write a chapter to touch base on the subject because it's truly a big part of my life and in the moment I wrote this my anxiety was having a go at me.
Just know, everything is going to be okay.
I promise.