is this what a panic attack feels like?
i run out of the house and into the yard to wait for mark, sitting next to the bushes and flowers.
jaemin saw me.
"hyejin? are you okay?" jaemin rushes to me. he sits next to me and wraps his arms around my body.
his breaths are steady and even. he smelt of men's cologne; like the ones you smell in the magazines.
"what's going on?" jaemin said in a soft voice. his voice was velvety and addictive. i could listen to him talk all day and i wouldn't be tired of it.
i stayed quiet, not wanting to tell him everything. i just wanted to stay in his arms forever. "you can tell me." jaemin continues. "come on, we've been friends for our whole lives."
"i'm okay. i was just waiting for mark." i told him. "you can go home." he gave me a worried look. don't look at me like that. i wish you didn't care so much.
"i'll wait with you." he hugged me again. he rested his head on my shoulder.
soon enough, mark came jogging. "hyejin!" he called, out of breath. jaemin helped me stand.
"i'm here." mark caught his breath.
"i was here first." jaemin mumbled.
"you can go now, jaemin." mark said. he took my hand and went in the house, leaving jaemin outside.
"i don't like when you talk to him." mark admitted. "it bothers me that there's someone else who knew you long than me."
"are you jealous?" i asked.
mark nodded. "i meant what i said. i like you."