*Dan's point of view*
What a strange being you are, God knows where I'd be
If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark
A dumb screenshot of youth
Watch how a cold broken teen
Will desperately lean upon a superglued human of proof
I stared at his face on my phone. His eyes were a sky blue and a bright yellow. Two beautiful and happy colors. Although, if you looked closely, it was like there was a lie throughout them. What people never realize about his eyes were the dark blue edges. His eyes were like the ocean. At first you see the clear blue water and the sun shining on the sand. However, if you looked at the ocean, if you truly looked, it's a dark blue. When you look at the miles upon miles of water, the color you'll see isn't the bright beginning, but the dark and painful end.
Those were the same eyes that found me when I was drowning. I was all alone without light, but the bright yellow and blue found me. They saved me. It was now, and only now, that I realized the dark blue. His beautiful eyes used to fill me with life. Now, they haunted me.
What the hell would I be without you? (what the hell would I be?)
Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)
"Sir?" I glanced up at the man who was driving me. "We're here." He nodded at the building.
"Thanks," I smiled and handed him the money I owed. I got out of the taxi and walked through the large doors. I walked straight to the bar. The bartender came up to me.
"A beer please," I ordered. He came back seconds later with the drink in his hand. Minutes later, he was back. With a new one. I downed every one. I felt overwhelmed. I knew this wasn't the only way out, but it definitely helped. I smiled and talked to a few people around me as I drank. My problems going away wouldn't last long, but that's ok.
Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates
So where do we begin?
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates
Won't be alone again
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
"Honey, I'm home!" I shouted as I walked through the door. Phil immediately came running to the door. He looked worried.
"Thank god! I was worried sick! Where the hell were you?!" He hit me on the shoulder.
"Ow!" I whined and rubbed the spot he hit, he frowned. "That wasn't very nice," I said sadly.
"Dan, I'm so sorry. I know what I did was bad, and I feel terrible-"
"Kiss me," I smiled and leaned in.
"What?" Phil pushed my face away. "You're not mad at me anymore?" He questioned.
"Why would I be mad?" I giggled. He looked confused. He paused, and his face flushed with understanding.
"Dan, you didn't," He tilted his head at me.
"I didn't what?" I asked suggestively.
"Oh my god, you got drunk?" He gave an exasperated sigh.
"Maybe," I said stretching out the a."Kiss me," I said again as I leaned in. Phil, again, pushed my face away.
"No." He rolled his eyes.
"Why not?" I pouted.
"Because Sober Dan really doesn't like me at the moment," He bit his lip.
"But Drunk Dan does," I smiled.
"Come on." He took my hand and started to walk through the house. "Let's get you to bed."
We will grow old as friends, I've promised that before
So what's one more?
In our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end
Time and hearts will wear us thin
So which path will you take, cause we both know a break
Does exactly what it says on the tin
I woke up with a massive headache. Although the pain was gone last night, right now definitely made up for it. I glanced at my bed stand. There were two small pills and a glass of water. You got a little drunk last night. Hope your headache goes away!~Phil
I rolled my eyes and got up. I walked into the living room to find Phil sitting on the couch. He jumped up the second he saw me.
"Did you get the pills I left you? Or the water?" He asked walking over to me.
"Yup." I grabbed the pills out of the cabinet and got a glass of water, he frowned.
"Did you take them?" He asked.
"Nope." I swallowed the ones I grabbed.
"Dan, how many more times do I have to say that I'm sorry?" He asked me.
"I don't know," I turned to face him. "It didn't work the first ten times, maybe you could try again," I rolled my eyes and walked away.
"Dan, come on!" He begged. "What do you want me to do?" He asked, there were tears in both of our eyes.
"Maybe we need a break for a little while," I sighed. He was immediately disgusted with the idea. I could see it on his face.
"And just be friends?" He asked. I could hear the doubt in his voice. I didn't like the idea either. "A break" meant "a break up" and "friends" meant "exes".
What the hell would I be without you? (what the hell would I be?)
Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)
"We both know that's a terrible idea," Phil whispered. "Dan, I can't lose you. Please," He grabbed my hands and gave them tight squeezes as he talked.
"Phil, I can't.." I wanted to cry. I was sad, I was mad, I was overwhelmed, I had no idea how to think. "This isn't something I can just forget like that." I snapped my fingers.
"Dan, come on, it was a long time ago. I don't love her!" He argued.
"But you did! Phil you were engaged to her! And you didn't even tell me!" I shouted at him.
"That was before I met you!"
"But you love her enough to propose?!"
"Dan, I love you, so just stop-"
"I can't stop!" I wanted to scream at him. I wanted my lungs to burst with a blast so hard that he knew how I was feeling. "All I can imagine is you and her! She kissed you and slept with you! And.. and.." I felt like I wanted to throw up. "And you loved her. You loved her enough to propose. And you didn't even tell me!" I shouted. The second the words were out I broke down. I couldn't stop the tears that flowed out of me.
Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates
So where do we begin?
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates
Won't be alone again
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
This happened before Phil and I met. We started dating pretty much right way. We started to date on all those Skype calls all those years ago. He was engaged then. While we started dating, Phil was engaged. I know, it was a long time ago, and he broke it off. But all I could think of was how into him I was, while he was in love with someone else.
Eventually, I had enough with all the arguing. I walked off to my room in tears. I didn't know how I felt. The only way to describe it was... Phil's eyes. It's like the eyes that I used to get lost in, the ones that saved me, were now just the crushing ocean trying to drown me. The color of the beautiful blue was a painful memory. It was haunting me with every step I took to my room. It was like I could see the color every time I closed my eyes. Was there a word for that?
I won't take no for an answer (I won't take no for an answer)
I won't take no for an answer (I won't take no for an answer)
I won't take no (I won't take no)
No, I won't take no (I won't take no)
It was hours later. The sun had set. The lights in the flat were out. It was quiet. My sobbing had stopped and the only thing I wanted was Phil. Or did I want Phil? I didn't even know. Suddenly, there was a quiet knock on my door. Three soft knocks. Of course, it was no one else but Phil. I opened it. I looked into his eyes. No matter how many drowning waves I saw, the sun was always there to guide me home. We both started to cry as we hugged. He brought me to our bed and laid us down. I nuzzled my head into his chest. We laid there in silence for a long, long time.
Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates
So where do we begin?
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates
Won't be alone again
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?
"Do you ever regret not marrying her?" I whispered. It was an hour later and I couldn't sleep with our fight on my mind.
"Not a single bit." He gave me a kiss on the top of my head. "Want to know why I broke it off with her?" He asked.
"Why?" I wondered.
"Because.. I fell in love with you." He pulled me closer, something I was perfectly fine with.
"So I'm a home wrecker?" I giggled.
"Maybe a little."
"Do you forgive me then?" He asked.
"Maybe a little," I smirked.
"I love you, Dan," He whispered. It was like I could hear him wishing for me to say it back.
"I love you, too, Phil," I said it back.
———————————
Thank you Axellnicorn for the idea of this chapter!