**Have the Beatles on blast... I've always been a hippie at heart...
Jaelynn POV
I was still upset at Elijah for everything. How could he think it's okay for him to play god and impregnate me when he felt it was right?.
Ever since I was little and that happened to me vowed no man will never have control over me. In anyway possible. I won't be a victim and let it happen. And what happens... I can't believe it.
Feeling a little betrayed by the one man who I thought would at least respect my decisions of what I wanted in life.
That man who helped create me... he was suppose to protect me from harm. Instead he was the one harming me. He had total control over me and the situation because he knew my mom wouldn't believe me.
No young child should feel alone in that situation. I know I did. Telling myself over and over when I get older I will have no man control me. I will decide what I want and when.
Looking at myself in the mirror. Trying to recognize the woman staring back at me. Feeling tears coming down my cheeks. Sometimes I feel like Elijah is my dad all over again. I hate to think or say that but the betrayal I felt was similar.
I do admit I have anger issues. But it all stems from me not being able to speak up. So usually I get so frustrated and the anger just comes out. My parents fucked me up...
//
Walking to the kitchen I see Elijah sitting in the couch. He glanced at me hoping I would say something but I had nothing to say. I knew he was going to follow me. Annoying.
Getting the formula from up top and getting a bottle. It was feeding time for zahrie and I know she's hungry.
"Hey" I heard him say softly. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I didn't flinch or push him away. "How are you feeling?".
I shrugged my shoulders. Continuing to heat up the water for the formula. Just standing there watching the water start to warm up.
"I'm going to the gym. You'll be here when I get back?" Of course he would be so paranoid that I would leave.
I nodded.
He kissed me on the side of my head "I'm sorry again". Walking off out of the kitchen. If I'm correct this is what depression feels like. I'm just completely numb.
Elijah POV
I went to the gym just to give her some needed space. She's still sleeping in zahrie's room. I can't change that especially since she's still upset at me. This has to be the biggest fight we've had in our two years of being together.
This gym wasn't for me today. I couldn't concentrate for shit. Standing there just staring at the equipment. Feeling the need to fix this but how. I really didn't want to see Alexis. That wouldn't help anything. Choking her up won't stop her from trying to come around.
Renzo came inside the gym. He noticed how the vibes changed in the house. "You alright?".
"I don't know. It hurts me to see Jaelynn so out of it. And I'm to blame for it".
"You guys have been through some shit but you usually overcome it. What's so different with this one?" He asked.
I shrugged "that's what I'm trying to figure out. But she won't really speak to me. I don't know if I triggered something or what".
"Maybe send her some flowers or something. You know be cute with it. Write some inspirational words on it. Make her feel like she's the only one in the world for you".
I smiled "Renzo you are so smart when you aren't smoking that weed" we both laughed. Pulling out my phone and making arrangements. Hoping this will help some. After I did all that I went to working out.
About an hour later we finished up. I grabbed my towel wiping most of the sweat off of me. My phone started ringing... FaceTime.
"Hey baby, what's up?" Hopefully she speak to me. That'll make my day.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
She pointed to the flowers I sent her. "Thank you... I needed that".
I nodded "I figured that. And again I'm sorry about everything. I'm going to try and be more considerate about your wants and needs".
"That'll be great" she wiped the falling tear from her cheek.
"But just relax and remain calm for the sake of that baby growing inside you" I smiled. Looking at her I can feel something is different with her though.
"Anyway let me go tend to zahrie. I'll see you when you come home" she softly said. I nodded with that we both ended the call. I think we will have to have a serious conversation. That conversation she won't want to discuss anything. But it has to happen in order for her to come back mentally.
Just when I thought I had issues. She has more than me that she's not dealing with.