Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow
*Flashback to 2009*
"Can't wait to see you, I love you!" Phil smiled in the computer screen as the words blurted out of his mouth. The words repeated in Dan's head over and over the second he heard them. His heart started beating fast, his mouth went dry and his legs turned to jelly. Phil's bright smile immediately stopped. "Oh my god.. I'm so sorry," Phil said trying to calm Dan down. "It slipped," He bit his lip nervously.
Dan was freaked out. He couldn't believe Phil had said it. Dan had never loved anyone before. He didn't believe in love. He didn't believe in soulmates. The reason? Dan had never met anyone that he even wanted to love. That is, until he met Phil.
Meeting Phil changed everything. Dan has dated a few people, but none of them had ever been like Phil. With everyone else he dated, he couldn't say I love you, he couldn't even think it. What Dan was realizing, he wasn't freaked out that Phil had said it, he was freaked out about how badly he wanted to say it back.
"I have to go... see you tomorrow," Phil weakly smiled, he hoped more than ever that he hadn't scared Dan off with his words. Although, despite Dan freaking out, he didn't regret it. It was the truth, he was glad it was out.
The next day, Dan and Phil both got on trains and were on their way. They were finally going to meet. Dan nervously stepped off the train. He looked around, and there he was. Phil was standing there waiting for him, just like he said he'd be.
They ran to each other, more happy than they've ever been. They had finally met. Inches apart, face to face, and this time in person. Dan was surprised about how badly he wanted to kiss Phil. Suddenly, he realized why. Dan was in love.
One step closer
Phil was the one to do it. He took a large step forward, connecting their lips. Their kiss was short but amazing, it was their first. Butterflies erupted in their stomachs and their hearts were beating as fast as the butterflies wings could fly.
"I love you too," Dan whispered.
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Suddenly, Dan wasn't freaking out anymore. He was just happy. He always thought that, for his whole life, he wouldn't fall in love. He thought it was because he didn't want to fall in love. The thing is, that wasn't true. He didn't fall in love because he was scared of it.
In reality, his heart broke every day as he waited for someone like Phil, and he didn't even know it. He always used to watch couples on the street and wish that he had someone to hold hands with too. He'd see two people kiss in a movie and longed for love. He'd watched a girl laugh with her best friend and wished he'd have a love like that too.
Dan didn't mind being alone. If he was by himself there was no one in his life to let him down. Now, his heart was swelling with love so intense, he never wanted it to end. Dan now realized, he didn't mind being alone, but he hated it. He hated not being able to tell someone that he loved them.
Time stands still
Beauty in all he is
I will be brave
I will not let anything, take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath, every hour has come to this
*Present: 2018*
Dan couldn't sleep. He woke up at 3 AM in a funk. He just felt... sad. He didn't know if it was because of his depression or did other people get like this too? He didn't know, but he wasn't as happy as he usually was.
His legs were intertwined with Phil's and his arms were snuggly wrapped around his boyfriend's torso. His head rested against Phil's chest. He took a deep breath and pulled away.
Dan did what always made him happier at times like this. He stared at Phil. He started with the top of Phil's head: his hair. It was as dark as the night sky. It was obviously messy and disheveled, but even then he rocked the fringe. Dan glanced down to Phil's eyebrows, he knew it was strange that he was admiring something as small as eyebrows, but for some reason this was what calmed him down- scanning every inch of Phil's face. His eyebrows were ginger, the same color as his natural hair. Phil's eyes were closed, his eyelashes were long and fluttered a little, he wondered what Phil was dreaming about. He didn't need to imagine what Phil's eyes looked like, he saw them over and over, and they never got old. His nose was a little pointed, but it fit his face perfectly. He had a little bit of facial hair growing in his face, but it wasn't too noticeable. His lips were a bright pink, they were plump and completely kissable.
Dan smiled at the beautiful man in front of him. Phil started to wake up.
"Why'd you move?" His voice was groggy from sleep. He didn't open his eyes, but he was partially awake.
"No reason," Dan was already feeling better.
One step closer
"It's cold without you," Phil wrapped his arm around Dan's waist and pulled him to his chest. Dan nuzzled his face into Phil's neck.
"Yeah, it's cold without you, too," Dan smiled.
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
"I love you Phil," Dan whispered, Phil opened his eyes and looked at him.
"I love you too," He smiled and started to play with Dan's curly brown hair. He loved Dan's hair. He was glad Dan finally embraced it.
"Phil?" Dan asked. Phil pulled him even closer.
"Yeah?" He whispered.
"I really do love you, and I'm not scared to admit it," Dan bit his lip.
And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Phil thought back to the first time he ever said the words to Dan. The first time he said I love you. He remembered how quickly they blurted out of his mouth. He remembered how scared Dan got. Phil was scared too, but he didn't regret it. It was true. It had always been true. He knew the reason Dan hadn't said it back right away, he knew Dan was scared of love back then. Phil always hoped he would change him, and well, he felt like he did.
One step closer
One step closer
"Marry me." Phil backed up and looked into Dan's brown eyes, they widened.
"What?" Dan asked, did he hear him correctly?
"Marry me, Dan," Phil repeated.
"Phil I- are you sure?" Dan asked, he couldn't believe someone wanted to marry him.
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
"Dan, I've loved you since the day we met," He paused. "And I want to continue loving you until the day we die, and only you," Phil smiled. "I don't have a ring-"
"I don't need a ring to want to marry you," Dan whispered.
And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
"So it's a yes?" Phil asked hopefully.
"Of course it's a yes."
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Thank you Axellnicorn for the idea of this chapter!