Yoongi's Music
Outro
One Year Later...
Yuseon's POV:
"And the Billboard Music Awards goes to....BTS!"
"BTS Suga is internationally known as one of the richest producer in Korean Music Industry..."
"BTS Suga has one of the largest amounts of copyrighted songs in Kpop idols..."
Those are the things that I could only hear as I stood all alone in the middle of this busy street somewhere in Chicago, USA. At nakakatuwa lang na kahit saan ako lumingon sa parte na ito ng syudad ay nandoon ang balita ng sobrang pagiging successful ng lalaking iyon.
Hays...what can I do? Sobrang successful na nga ng lalaking mahal ko.
The winter started early this year that's why I'm clutching this thick coat to warm my body in this cold and snowy evening. Malapit narin ang Christmas kaya parami narin ng parami ang mga taong namimili sa parte na ito ng syudad.
"BTS! BTS! BTS!" those group of girls chanted while hurriedly making their way into that big stadium.
Napataas nalang ako ng mukha at nalululang napatingin sa napakalaking stadium na nasa harapan ko.
BTS WORLD TOUR
Yan ang nakasulat sa harapan ng stadium.
Woah...daebak.
To think na nagko-concert narin sya sa napakalaking stadium na ito at wala pa ito sa Korea. This is Chicago for Pete's sake!
"Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to see all of them especially Yoongi"
"Yeah right. Yoongi is so hot in this comeback"
"That black hair says it all!"
Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti nang marinig ko ang grupo ng mga fangirls na iyon na nagbubulungan sa tabi ko habang naghihintay silang mag-open ang stadium na ito.
Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit nandito ako.
Basta't nang marinig ko sa balita ngayong umaga na nandito na sila para sa concert nila ay natagpuan ko nalang ang sarili ko na nagbibihis para puntahan ang lugar na ito.
I don't even have tickets to enter this place.
Maybe I just wanted to have a glimpse of him.
I just wanted to have a glimpse of that Sakuragi boy who loves singing his songs in front of all the people in the world.
Sa laki ng tagumpay na tinatamasa nya ngayon ay hindi ko maiwasang mamiss ang mga panahon na sa akin nya lang ipinaparinig ang mga kantang ginagawa nya noon. Hindi ko maiwasang mamiss sya.
Napangiti nalang ako saka ako nagtaas ng mukha para titigan ang malaking stadium na iyon kung saan nya ipaparanig ulit ang mga kantang gawa nya.
"Yoongi-ah..." ang bulong ko sa sarili. "Masaya ka na siguro ngayong naririnig na ng buong mundo ang mga kantang nagawa mo...I'm so proud of you."
Well, hindi naman talaga ako nagpunta dito para manood ng concert nila.
Gusto ko lang makita ang lugar kung nasaan ang lalaking mahal ko.
Gusto ko lang makita ang lugar kung saan nya ipaparinig ang mga kantang gawa nya.
Hindi ko rin alam.
Marahil siguro sa sobrang sikat na sya ngayon ay pakiramdam ko ay nahihiya na akong magpakita pa ulit sa kanya.
The series of my therapies has ended now at ang sabi ng doctor ay bumubuti na daw ang kalagayan ko.
My nightmares and my panic attacks has ended. And this is a good sign.
Sa one year na namalagi ako dito sa America ay mas natuto akong tumingin sa positive sides ng buhay. Ang isa pa ay kasama ko si Mama na talagang malaki ang naitulong sa pagpapagamot ko. Ngayon ko naintindihan kung gaano kalaki ang pangangailangan ko sa Mama ko and I'm happy that she's here to fill up those cracks and holes into my heart. And I love her for that.
Itinaas ko nalang ang puting headphone na nakasabit sa leeg ko saka idinikit yun sa magkabilang tenga ko at naglakad na paalis ng lugar na iyon. Naalala ko na ito rin ang headphone na ibinigay sa akin ni Yoongi noon bago ako umalis papunta ng America. At lagi kong dala-dala ito kung saan man ako mapunta. Aside from listening to his songs, this headphone is my only way of lessening my longing for him.
The beautiful streetlights that's been blending well with the beautiful lights of Christmas met my eyes. Mag-isa lang akong naglalakad sa gitna ng mga nagtatawanan at mga nag-iingay na tao na nagsasaya sa gitna ng busy na lugar na ito. Oo, sa sobrang paglalakad ko ay hindi ko namalayan na napunta na pala ako sa mga stalls ng mga Christmas sales na ginagawa lang ng mga tao dito sa tuwing gabi.
I was busy walking my way in the middle of those people when suddenly, someone grabbed the white headphone that I was wearing.
"Magnanakaw!" ang naisigaw ko saka ako tumakbo at hinabol ang batang lalaki na nanghila ng headphone ko.
Hindi.
Hindi pwedeng mawala sa akin ang headphone na iyon.
That is my most precious thing.
Yoongi gave that to me.
The man that I've loved the most gave that to me.
Takbo lang ako ng takbo habang hinahabol ang batang amerikano na nanghablot ng headphone ko. At nakita kong mabilis din ang pagtakbo nya. Medyo nahihirapan pa akong tumakbo ng mabilis nang dahil sa dulas ng kalsada dala narin ng walang tigil na pag-ulan ng snow.
Hanggang sa naabot na namin ang Winter Park na alam kong sikat na binibisita ng mga tao dito. Ang ipinagtataka ko lang ay kung bakit walang katao-tao dito at madilim pa ang paligid.
But I just shrug it off and continue to chase the boy.
Pero bigla akong natigil sa pagtakbo.
Lalo na't nakita kong iniwan ng batang lalaking yun ang headphone ko sa puting piano na naaninag kong nakatayo sa tabi ng fountain ng madilim na park na ito.
Wait, anong ginagawa ng isang puting grand piano sa gitna ng walang katao-taong lugar na ito?
Pero hindi ko inaasahan ang mga sumunod na mangyayari.
Naramdaman ko nalang ang unti-unting panlalaki ng mga mata ko nang sabay-sabay na umilaw ang lahat ng ilaw na mayroon ang park na iyon.
There are beautiful lights everywhere and it's like thousands of stars that fell off from the sky.
Sobrang ganda ng paligid.
It looks so magical.
So enchanting.
So breathtakingly beautiful.
Pero pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong nanigas sa sumunod kong nakita.
Right in front of that beautiful and magical fountain of the park, I saw that handsome man in his black coat while sitting in front of his white piano.
Nakaupo lang sya doon habang nakatitig sa akin sa ilalim ng mga magagandang ilaw ng park.
He dyed his hair back into black.
And there is no piercings into his ears.
Yes, he's my Yoongi.
The man, who I've always waited is now right in front of my eyes while sitting in front of his piano.
At pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong nanlamig nang marinig ko ang isa-isang pagpindot nya sa keys ng piano saka pumailanlang ang magandang musikang iyon sa tahimik na paligid.
And in that beautiful and usual sleepy voice, he started to sing his song.
"If only I had just one day
I want to peacefully fall asleep intoxicated with your sweet scent
If there's a chance in my busy schedule
I want to put my body in your warm and deep eyes..."
Namalayan ko nalang ang isa-isang pagpatak ng mga luha sa magkabilang pisngi ko.
And he looks so handsome at the same time so dreamy right in front of that fountain that I'm afraid to touch him.
Natatakot ako na baka isa lang itong magandang panaginip.
"I like that, your long, straight hair
Your breathtaking neck when you put it up and the strands that fall out..."
Natatakot ako na baka hindi sya totoo.
"Wherever we go, my handbag is your waist
Yo ma honey, whenever I see you, I run out of breath
Like the streets of Myungdong, our BGM is the sound of breathing..."
But when he turned to me and looked at me straightly in the eyes, that's the only time that I realized that he is not a dream.
He is real.
Min Yoongi is real.
At pakiramdam ko ay natigil ang paghinga ko nang makita ko ulit ang matamis na ngiti na iyon sa labi nya.
"Your voice when you say my name..."
And I smiled too.
"Yoongi-ah..." I gently called him.
"I appreciate the masterpiece that is you because your existence alone is art
I imagine this all night every day because it's a meaningless dream anyway..."
And while looking at him right now...
"Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day, if I can hold your hands
Just one day, if I can be with you
Just one day..."
Ay bigla ko nalang nakita ang dating Yoongi mula six years ago na kinakanta ang mga bagong kantang gawa nya sa harapan ko mismo sa loob ng music room ng school namin noon.
"I'm sorry, maybe I'm too rational
But still, if you see me some day, smile..."
The only thing that changed is that he looks more matured now with that expensive coat and with that beautiful piano that he's playing.
But he will always be my Yoongi.
For me, he will always be that troublesome boy who only dreams of becoming Sakuragi and who only dreams of making all the people in the world hear his songs.
And even if how many years may pass, he will always be the only one for me.
My one and only soulmate.
"Maybe you resent me a little or no, a lot
I know, I couldn't look at you more because of my dream
Then just give me one day, even if it's in my dream, just one day..."
Bigla syang lumingon sa akin.
And those beautiful eyes....
Those beautiful eyes will always be Min Yoongi's only.
"Yuseonie..." I heard his voice. "Listen..."
"Out of all those words I had to swallow because of the excuse of reality
I'll pick one and tell it to you for sure
Let's meet when the lilies bloom and say goodbye when they wither
I didn't think I'd get over you easily but
Is it selfish of me to hope you are the same?
I'm still lying, saying that it's all for you..."
Then he raised his head again and looked at me straightly in the eyes.
"Yuseonie..." he said then smiled. "You are standing in the center of my life..."
And then the song ended.
Samantalang nanatili lang akong naninigas at nakatulala sa gwapo nyang mukha habang nakatayo parin ako mula sa pwesto ko.
Saka sya biglang lumingon sa akin habang nakaupo parin sya sa harapan ng piano nya.
Pero natatakot ako.
Natatakot ako na baka kapag kinausap ko sya o kaya ini-try kong hawakan sya ay baka bigla nalang syang mawala.
Because if it's only a dream then I don't want to wake up.
This dream is so beautiful that I don't want to open my eyes.
I want to stay in this beautiful dream of seeing the man I love the most.
"Yah" his sleepy impatient voice woke me up from my deep sleep. "So magtititigan lang ba tayo dito?"
I blink.
But I can't move.
I can't speak.
At mukhang nainis na nga sya.
"Aish, yah" ang medyo napipikon na nyang sambit. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap buhatin ang piano na ito dito na walang nakakapansin ha? Malaki pa ang ibinayad ko sa may-ari ng park na ito para lang magawa ito. Tapos tatayo ka lang dyan at titignan ako na para akong nakapatay ng tao? Yah Yuseonie, kapag hindi ka lumapit dito, ikaw ang ililibing ko dito ng buhay"
And then like a bang, reality came hitting on me.
This is real.
Min Yoongi is real.
Nandito na nga sya.
Min Yoongi is here and he's threatening me.
Namalayan ko nalang ang pagbukas ng bibig ko pero dahil narin sa hindi parin ako makapaniwala na nandito nga sya ay halos walang boses na gustong kumawala sa akin.
"Y-yoongi..." I whispered. "Yoongi-ah..."
Nakita ko naman ang paghinga nya ng malalim na para bang nauubos na ang pasensya nya.
"Arraseo, arraseo" ang sambit nya saka sya biglang tumayo at inayos ang itim na coat nya. "Alam kong naglalaway ka na naman ng dahil sa sobrang kagwapuhan ko at ng dahil sa sobrang pagiging genius ko kaya ako na ang lalapit sayo"
And then I saw him started to walk his way towards me.
At sa bawat hakbang na ginagawa nya papunta sa kinatatayuan ko ay pakiramdam ko ay mas lalong lumalakas ang pintig ng puso ko.
All I can hear right now at this very moment is the loud sound of my chest that is ringing up into my ears.
All I can see is him.
And he is so handsome in his black hair while he's walking in the middle of the beautiful lights of the evening.
Hanggang sa naramdaman ko nalang ang pagdikit ng mga malalambot na bagay na iyon sa magkabilang tenga ko at doon ko lang na-realize na ibinalik nya sa tenga ko ang headphone na ninakaw ng bata kanina.
And before I could speak, I only felt of how he grabbed my face and kissed me in the middle of the snowy evening.
The kiss feels magical at the same time, so beautiful it's as if I'm in a dream of having him again.
Ilang ulit ko na bang napanaginipan ang mga yakap at halik nya?
Sa ilang taon na nawala sya...
Sa ilang taon na namimiss ko sya...
Sa ilang taon na hinahanap ko lang sya...
Sa ilang taon na pareho lang kaming nasasaktan...
All of those things don't even matter now. Because all that matters to me now is I have him and he's holding me so tight in the middle of this cold and snowy evening.
At hindi na ako mangungulila pa ulit.
I have him now.
And I won't ever let go...
He ended the kiss and then he looked at me straightly in the eyes.
"Yuseonie..." he whispered into my face. "Pwede mo na ba akong mahalin?"
I couldn't speak.
"Yah..." ang sambit pa nya ulit gamit ang inaantok na boses na iyon. "It's been a year now and I'm getting impatient. Alam mong hindi ako marunong maghintay lang kaya ako na mismo ang nagpunta dito para itanong yun. Ngayon, pwede mo na ba akong mahalin?"
Hindi parin ako makapagsalita.
Maybe because I'm too overwhelmed by the great emotions that I'm feeling right now.
But knowing Yoongi, I know that he will think otherwise.
I only saw of how his brows met and with that impatient voice, he spoke.
"Yah Yuseonie" he said. "Wag mong sabihin na na-inlove ka na sa iba kaya one year na ang lumipas pero hindi ka parin bumabalik sa akin? Tandaan mong nag-promise ka kaya wala ng bawian. May voice record pa ako ng mga sinabi mo sa akin sa airport one year ago at kapag hindi mo tinupad yun, I will sue you for breaking my heart---"
Pero hindi ko na sya pinatapos pa at agad ko ng hinila ang mukha nya at hinalikan sya ulit.
At natawa nalang ako nang makita ko ang panlalaki ng mga mata nya na para bang hindi nya inaasahan yun.
Agad ko din syang binitiwan at doon ay natutulala lang syang napatitig sa akin.
God, I miss him so much.
I miss our love.
"You talk too much..." I whispered into his face.
Nakita ko nalang ang unti-unting pagkakawala ng pagkabigla sa mukha nya at napalitan yun ng sobrang tamis na ngiti na matagal ko ng hindi nakikita sa kanya.
Yes.
The sweetest smile on earth belongs to this man.
And he belongs to me.
"So..."he whispered into my face saka nya hinila ang bewang ko.
Kaya ngayon ay sobrang lapit na naman namin sa isa't isa sa gitna din ng magagandang ilaw ng gabi. At sa higpit ng yakap nya sa akin ay halatang wala na syang balak na pakawalan pa ako.
"Yuseonie, tatanungin kita ulit. At kapag hindi mo sinagot ito ng maayos, I will definitely sue you" he whispered into my face while his eyes are locked into my lips. "Pwede mo na ba akong mahalin?"
I looked into his eyes and I think I just saw my forever with him.
And while looking at his handsome face, without even knowing, those memories just came flashing back right before into my eyes...
The old Yoongi and Yuseon from that old music room while happily playing his new songs...
"Yuseonie, nagustuhan mo ba ang bagong kantang nagawa ko ha?"
The old Yoongi and Yuseon from that bus stop while waiting for the bus to come...
"Yuseonie~Yuseonie~Yuseonie~ang cute ni Yuseonie~"
The old Yoongi and Yuseon from that coffee shop as they ordered caramel machiatto and Americano...
"Simula ngayon ay magiging mature na ako. Kailangan kong maging oppa sayo kaya dapat pang-oppa din ang o-orderin kong kape"
The old Yoongi and Yuseon's love that lasted through time, until now...
"Promise me that wherever you will go...just come back to me"
And I'm keeping all the promises that we've made together.
I'm keeping all the promises that the old Yoongi and old Yuseon made together.
From six years ago, I will make all our dreams come true and seal our forever in this cold and snow evening...
"Yes" I whispered lovingly into his face.
I know it will always be him.
"Yuseonie~ Yuseonie~ Yuseonie~"
Even if we come back through time, from the time I first saw him on that balcony...
"Hoy, alis"
I know in my heart...
"Bata palang ako ay pangarap ko ng makagawa ng magandang music at maiparinig sa buong mundo ang mga kantang gawa ko. At pakiramdam ko ay malapit ng magkatotoo yun. Diba Yuseonie?"
...that I will always choose him.
"Pero ikaw si Music dahil ikaw ang buhay ko"
He is my man.
He is my fate.
He is my soulmate.
He is my everything.
Nang marinig nya ang sagot ko ay isang matamis na ngiti lang ang isinagot nya sa akin bago sya nagsalita.
"I love you..."
And I know in my heart that I will always be...
"...my music..." he whispered into my face.
...his one and only Music.
I smirk.
"Gago" I gently whispered into his face.
He smirk too.
"Gago"
With those words, our fate to be in each other's arms has been sealed forever.
I will only listen to him.
As he will only listen to me.
Fate may try to shatter, crumble, and even destroy us in the future.
But one thing will remain so sure, I will always be his music...forever.
It is said that until now, Yoongi's Music can still be heard playing in the different parts of the world as he dedicates his music to his one and only true love...
The End.
Yoongi's Music
Date Started: August 20, 2015
Date Ended: October 7, 2017
Picture credits to: YouVampiresS
All Rights Reserved