"Mr. Lawrence? Yes. It's Keelian." I speak up as I enter my room. I'm going out of my mind with worry.
"Yes, yes. How can I help you?" I hear the semi-annoyed voice of the old man and I wish I didn't have to talk to him exactly. I've always gotten the creeps from him and I'm not sure it has anything to do with Leonardo.
But this time it's urgent and the old driver is the only one I can ask for help.
"I need a lift and information." I murmur as I don't want someone else to hear. After all it's only me and Jessica that know our secrets. My father, as nice as he is, would freak out if he finds out that I've lost my lives and am living illegally in Pretorium and my mother is, well, my mother.
"You know that it depends on the information, Miss Samuels. I already got kicked out because of your...gentle approach towards Mr. Sanchez."
If I wasn't on my toes, I wouldn't have let Jim hold me responsible for him not being loyal to that monster. "Okay." I breathe out loudly, "First, come pick me up at ten. We're leaving for Traum."
Mr. Lawrence accepts what he's told with ease. Even something as dangerous as a trip to the Rats. That's why I like to work with him. I can only hope that he doesn't stab me in the back the way he did to Leonardo.
I prepare minimal luggage and take a few clothes for Jessica. I don't let myself cry but as I clutch my sister's favorite pink blouse, my vision blurs and the guilt triples.
I've known since the beginning of it all that I shouldn't have let Jess play a role. She should've been safe and sound where she belongs. It's her broker sister, me, who needed to get herself out of the problems that she created on her own.
I talked to Emily, the maid, this morning when I realized that Jessica wouldn't return and she told me she would buy me some time before my parents realize that both their children aren't home.
I have a week at best.
A week to save my sister who has been saving me for as long as I can remember.
A week to finally take the responsibility for what I've done.
Before I put on my sweater, I take a glance of my body in the mirror and I shudder. The grotesque scars on my wrists and on my stomach leave me breathless for a moment, so I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend that they're not there. There's no time for me to relive all of the lives I myself took away.
There's no use to hurt over something that's done.
Took me a lot to realize this.
With one more look at the mirror, I finally pull the sweater over my head and in seconds I'm gone. I take a taxi to where I usually meet with Mr. Lawrence and sure enough when I arrive in a few minutes, he's already there.
"Long time no see, Miss."
"Yeah." I nod and throw my things in the trunk of the car that is probably as illegal as my residence in Pretorium.
We travel quietly. Nobody asks questions and I just stare outside the window, trying my best to concentrate on anything but the aching of my chest. I try not to think the worst. I would never forgive myself if Jessica loses even one of her lives. I can't let her live in a giant lie just like her sister does.
"Miss Samuels, I know this may not be appropriate to say but...well, sir used to always stare out the window while I drove just like you're doing now." He clears his throat."What I'm trying to say is that you remind me of him."
I'm half disgusted, half thrilled to know that I was just compared to Leonardo. The single mention of this boy makes me shudder in both excitement and fear.
It's not even the first time that I am told something of those lines...
"You two are awfully similar. It makes me mad." Jessica shakes her head in awe. "How can you love the same things and hate the same things? That's not relationship goals, that's just scary."
Me and Leonardo both look at each other in the same moment and laugh.
"Even your laughs are similar. Creepy..."Jess continues on observing our freakish similarities.
I shrug my shoulders and slip a hand into his. "I guess you could say we're kinda similar, yeah."
"Kinda? Kinda?" Jess' eyes widen as she shakes her head once again, "You're so similar that I don't even feel like I'm the third wheel when I'm with you. It's more as if I'm hanging out with Karli and Mandi." She refers to the twins that have been following me around for the past year, trying to get into the popular group.
"Talking about these two weirdos..." I begin and cock my head to the side, watching Leonardo, "why don't you want us to be public about going out? You know that my friends would love it."
"Well, yeah, but your secret admirers definitely wouldn't."
I roll my eyes, "I've ignored those guys for so long that even if they find out that I've got a boyfriend, they wouldn't mind."
"Yeah, but, Keely, you don't understand." He makes a sour face and I scrunch my eyebrows. I don't understand him, indeed. "It's not a popular occurrence for the Queen B of the school to go out with a loser." His nervous laugh fills the air between us because he knows how I feel about him pointing out the difference in our school status.
"Have I ever thought of you as a loser, Leonardo? No. Then I don't care what others say about you. I just want to, to-" I have to look away from him and I let go of his hand, "I just want them to know that you're mine. Does this sound really obsessive and creepy?"
He chuckles, this time for real and grabs my hand again. "It doesn't sound bad at all. Believe me, I would love to be yours but it's not yet the time." I still refuse to look at him so he pushes a pale finger under my chin and turns my head around, making me face him. "Look at me, Keel. I love you."
My heart melts as the words keep on ringing in my ears. I take in a breath ready to say it too, but my breathless response is silenced by my sister making fake gag sounds which grab Leonardo's attention. When he finally is back to me, it's too late to say what he did. The moment has passed.
"I'm going to get some water." I say and get up from the grass that we're sitting on, making my way down the hill and overhearing my sister's and Leo's conversation.
"Okay, for the first time since you two started dating, I felt like the third wheel." Jess admits and I hear my boyfriend snort in response.
I don't know why but something dark emerges in me. I can't quite pinpoint what it is but my sixth sense is definitely always right.
"Miss, we'll be in Traum in about two hours. Do you need anything?"
Too distracted to answer, I wave my hand in front of my face in sign of indifference and Mr. Lawrence doesn't say anything else.
I must've fallen asleep at one point, because when I wake up and look at the clock plopped on the front of the car, it reads 11:45pm. "Are we getting closer, Mr. Lawrence?"
His hand almost loses grip on the steering wheel and he laughs awkwardly. I squint my eyes in suspicion. He's never been caught off guard. What's going on?
"Yes, yes, of course, miss. Fifteen more minutes."
My sixth sense is once again screaming but I neglect it. It was wrong the only time I needed it to be right the most.
I nod and look around for a distraction. I see a white card on the floor and my eyebrows pull together in confusion. I grab it and the moment I read it my eyes go large.
"Let me out of this car now." I say lowly, threat spreading around the air like a blanket.
Mr. Lawrence only continues to drive, but I can see how nervous he has gotten.
Once a betrayer, always a betrayer.
"I said, stop the car now!" This time I shout, just in time for Mr. Lawrence to turn the wheel abruptly and speed to a sign that reads NEVARIUM in giant letters.
I start shaking and my body temperature drops so much I feel like a snowman. Jim stares at me apologetically in the rear mirror.
"I'm sorry, Miss Samuels but I have an order to follow." I hear the soft click when Mr. Lawrence locks the doors of the car. That son of a-
I take a second look at the piece of cardboard and my breathing comes in short, weak breaths.
Sanchez Co.
It's Leonardo's company. And I'm currently driving in his personal car by his personal driver that he decided to take back in. That sentimental bastard.
After another five minutes, the car comes to a halt and Mr. Lawrence twists his body to look at me and the moment he does it, I know what I have to do.
I had no gun when I left home but now I press the muzzle of the weapon right in between Jim's eyes and watch as his dark skin turns almost grey.
That's why I love being compared to Leonardo; I knew he would have some kind of gun and I knew where he would put it, because it would be where I'd put mine.
"I wouldn't shoot in your place, Keelian." I hear the muffled voice of no other than Leonardo Sanchez from outside the still locked car.
I can see that he's pointing another weapon at my own face from the other side of the window.
I only smile and shout back at him, "Shoot me and end me here, if you dare. But I know you wouldn't."
Leo's familiar laugh erupts and my insides twist uncomfortably. "I wouldn't shoot you, you're right." He leans in so his face is right at my window and places his long slender fingers next. His everlasting smug smirk still there but there's a certain brutality to it this time and I'm scared to know what he has prepared for me, "I wouldn't shoot you, but I definitely have nothing against shooting Jessica."
My hands tremble and that's all it takes for Jim to snatch the gun. He unlocks the doors and one of Leonardo's men open mine and leads me by the wrist. I stiffen in seconds and Sanchez sees it immediately. "Grab her by the elbow, don't touch her wrists." He instructs calmly and the man does as he's ordered.
When my feet meet the ground, the first thing I see is Leonardo's body. He's wearing a black suit which contrasts with his pale skin and makes it look stark white. I have to look up to see his face and I do so involuntarily as he puts his finger under my chin and lifts it up.
The action is so familiar but the man I see in front of me seems so far away from the gentle boy that used to do it. The sharp cheekbones I used to love to trace with kisses before, now make me want to wash my mouth with soap, the unsymmetrically large bottom lip that I used to bite at, now makes me want to break my own teeth and those eyes, the ones I used to want to stare at all day, now make me want to see them closed forever.
I make sure to show all of my emotions on my face for him to read and I get the wanted effect. He drops his finger from my chin as if it burned him and looks away, visibly angered.
"Get her inside and tie her up." As the man struggles to move me from my place, Leo enters the sleek modern house that now I know is his. His steps are so quiet and fast, that I'm reminded of how mysterious his entire existence is.
"It's been so long since I've last had guests." Sanchez speaks, without turning towards me. "Sorry if my hospitality is flawed, but I'll make up for it somehow."
He finally faces me only to present me with a smirk.