Ellie POV
"Who is that?" I whispered as Flynn phone vibrated, because it was in her pocket and she was sitting next to me in our first period together.
"Err.. Kaily" Flynn muttered impassively after she took a look at her phone.
My heart rate instantly picked up, but I kept my cool. Stay calm Ellie. I averted my eyes from her and fixed them on the whiteboard, but my mind was reeling. In the corner of my I saw Flynn type away on her phone and I sighed. A big one. Suddenly I was finding it hard to breathe properly and I closed my eyes, wishing the dull ache to go away. We both been on each other throat at this, or it's just on my side.
I was afraid going to be a psycho. Rational and my stupid possessive heart didn't mix well at all. She flirted, I was angry, not the kind that goes batshit crazy, I just ignore her altogether. Sometime it does occur to me that I was not worth for her attention anymore. It was just hard to take any of this, maybe I was too possessive but can you blame me? Who want their girlfriend to go around and dole out her kindness to any pretty girl come her way?
Not me. I was downright freaking jealous. We were on and off like a freaking light switch, and lately I've been off to an isolate island. At night she called, but after a little into the conversation, someone called or Kaily called, and I was too upset to say anything. Flynn was trying to explain in desperation that there's nothing going on between them, and I tried my best to sound indifferent, like it didn't affect me. Pictured myself to be an understanding girl, that I was fine. But deep down, it destroyed my sleeping pattern, I couldn't sleep without Flynn there, but she was with another girl. She obviously favored the other girl company, then so be it. I wasn't worth it anyway.
The thought alone brought lump to my throat causing me to swallow and squashed it down.
You are in class Ellie, stop it right now.
Lately, I've been lonely. Lately, I craved her more. I long for the feeling of her arms wrapped tightly around me. I ached for her to shower me with her kissed, her sweet nothing. I long for the feeling whenever she looked at me, and her eyes soften unconsciously. I was tired, physically and emotionally.
Class dragged around like eternity, I've got a feeling that Flynn sneaked a glanced at me once in a while, but I didn't acknowledge it. Bell rung indicated the class was over and I collect my things in silent without looking at her. If I look at her right now, I might snap. That's was the last thing I wanted.
"Ellie" her voice trailed off and she grabbed my hand, halting me from dropping my books. Until then I realized it was shaking.
"What?" I muttered, my face void of any emotion as I stared at her. Her expression mirrored mine and suddenly I've got a feeling that I don't know who was she anymore.
"Don't be like this" I dragged my hand away slowly and she let me, my heart constrict painfully in my chest and my throat dried.
"People are looking..." and I stepped sideway from her, made a beeline toward my next class. After all I can't avoid her face to face because we had most of the class together, and I knew she was walking close behind.
We both settled in and I closed my eyes, and dropped my head on the table. This cold war between us sucked out most of my life force. I felt her beside me, but not closed like usual and I will myself not to crumble.
"Get up Ellie" Flynn's hissed lowly when the teacher came, her face was like a brick wall but I knew better to see the contain fury behind those calm mask.
The polite conversation was thrown between the two of us, and I ignored the curious stared from Fiona and Lydia. Flynn was ice cold, detached and full of fury. It lashed out on me and for a moment I think I was being a bitch, but she didn't even care about my feelings anymore, who am I to say anything?
By the time when lunch came, I thought I was going to collapse. Flynn was ignoring me, she didn't even glance my way anymore and it's hurt.
"I need to go to the bathroom" I muttered to Flynn her eyes was tight like a sharp knife, cutting through me and I didn't even know why I inform her about this so I asked Lydia instead to go to the bathroom with me, while Flynn and Fiona go to the lunch hall without us.
My chest felt heavy and Lydia didn't utter a word, for that I was grateful. Back to lunch hall, I grabbed a coke, and sit beside Lydia, away from Flynn. I didn't want any lunch right now, the tension between her and I was palpable and I nearly laughed out loud at our friend expression, they were cautious and tiptoeing around us, while Flynn was like me, with a bottle of coke in front of her-without lunch.
My restraint was hanging on a thread and I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to go home. I didn't want to see the cold heartless Flynn anymore. Better break alone in my room, rather than this.
"I'm going home" I whispered to Lydia my throat clogged as I grabbed my bag, sling them on my shoulder.
"Why" Flynn raised her head and I flinched.
"Wanted to" I muttered, avoided her cold eyes. Let's go Ellie. GO now.
"Hey you two, what's wrong?" Fiona frowned looking between us in scolding manner and I smiled slightly in return.
"Nothing, bye guys" Flynn expression was harsh, her jaws ticked and I tried my best not to crumbled in to pieces in front of her. Flynn's hand shot up abruptly and grabbed my wrist followed with her backpack then proceeded to drag me out of school.
Her grip was tight, probably leaving red marks and I wriggled my hand trying to break free.
"Let me go" My chin wobbled, why did she care now, she was so cold a moment ago. Just let me go.
"Stop struggling, are you done now?" she glared at me, as if moping was my fault, the more I struggled the tighter she gripped my wrist. Once again.
"Let me go, you're hurting me" She closed her eyes then let my wrist go, and I rubbed it. Surely, there was her finger print on it.
"Let me see" I ignored her commanding tone and walked away, but this time she grabbed both of my wrist keeping me still. I glared at her exasperatedly, her own wrath hit me in waves and I tried to break free but no use.
She took my wrist and examined it then her eyes soften then a flick of fury caught on as if she was angry at herself or something.
"Do you have to push my every button Ellie?" Flynn said through gritted teeth and I bitted my lips preventing myself from screaming at her like a child.
"Stop dragging me, I have my own two feet" I bitted out venomously, when she all but gripped my upper arms tight and pulled me toward school exit.
"Will you walk with me then?" She snapped back and at that moment I was going to wring her neck and squeezed the evil out of her.
"Come, you haven't had lunch" My eyes tight and also hers. I let her dragged me around, because who am I to struggle against her?
"I want to go home" I was on the verge of crying, I didn't want to bear with her cold snappy attitude anymore.
"After lunch" Her brow was in a tight knot and this time she let me walk by myself, keeping our finger laced. I swallowed the lump in my throat and avoid looking at her altogether.
I walked after her and in no time we were out of school and she walked past her car to the small diner that located in front of the school gate. She kept her hand behind my back and guided me across the road and I timidly let her. The place was just your usual diner, small and comfy and Flynn leaded us to the back away from the people eyes. She ordered fried rice on the menu for both of us and as usual two cokes.
"What if I don't want it?" I snapped at her after the waitress walked away.
"This is your usual isn't it?" She didn't back down and that was fine by me.
"Stop treating me like a child, what if I'm not in the mood for it?"
"Well, if you want me to stop treating you like one you have to stop acting like one" I gaped at her, speechless. I was acting like a child because I don't want fried rice?
"I was a child because I don't want fried rice?" My voice was small looking at her ticking face.
"It's not that. Do you want our friend to know about us?" She questioned, suddenly looking serious like a heart attack.
"so that was my fault?" I bitted my trembling lips hard and Flynn closed her eyes as if she was in pain.
Our hostile staring contest was cut short by the previous waitress brought our food over. I looked down on my joint hand unable to say anything anymore. My stomach was in a tight knot as I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Eat" She ordered and I shook my head in protest.
"Want me to feed you? and I won't have to fucking care if those bastard see anymore"
Flynn sighed, clearly irritated when I didn't say anything. Her chair scrapped the hardwood floor as she round the table then sit down next to me. She dragged me by my chair getting me press in between her knees then gripped my waist in a tight grasp when I wriggled on the spot.
She pushed her plate toward me and order again. "Eat, please" She stared at me, this time her face clouded over her eyes soften as they swiveled over my face.
I avoided her eyes then took the spoon she offered and eat tentatively. Her eyes were on my every move and she got me her crisp and chill coke when she saw my struggling to swallow.
"Why don't you eat?" I mumbled, my mouth full of rice. Eww Ellie.
"Finish the meal, stop question anything Ellie." Flynn muttered in finality and I restraint myself from glaring at her.
"Done?"
"Yes, now eat yours" I caressed my belly that seemed bigger from eating a plate full of fried rice. Flynn finished her rice in a moment, keeping her palm on my waist while she eat and I tried to ignore the tingling sensation whenever her hand pressed on my body. After she finished, she waved the waitress over then pay for the meal wordlessly. She dragged me up by my hand and grabbed her backpack along with my bag carrying it for me. I followed her out as we both didn't say a word. She opened the backside car door then thrown our bags in and proceeded to pull me to the passenger side and get me in. She practically manhandled me into the car as I watched her walk to the driver side and got in.
Her forearm muscle flexed around the wheel and I forced my eyes to look away before those sultry images of us flood my mind.
"Why don't you just carry me into the car?" I said when I saw where she was heading.
"Believe me, I wanted to" her voice calmed and collected.
"I'm not running away" I muttered.
"Really? Who struggling against me awhile ago then?" She glanced at me then fixed her eyes on the road.
"Are we going to your home?" I knew my destination but still asked.
"Yes"
"Why?"
"We need to talk"
"There's nothing to talk about" I clenched my jaws tight, preventing myself from snapping at her.
"Stop being so damn stubborn Ellie" Flynn blew out a big breath through her nose.
"I hate you"
"I know" this time I let myself glared at her full force.
"Come"
I followed her instruction wordlessly getting out of the car then watched her come to take my hand.
She seriously thinking I will run away! I thought sarcastically.
"you can let my hand go now! Isn't it you that don't want to touch me a moment ago"
Flynn said nothing other than walked out of the room, probably changing her clothes.
She came back with a freshly changed clothes them crossed her leg in front of me on her bed.
"What were you thinking Ellie?" She questioned. Her voice soft but her eyes sad yet firm at the same time.
"Nothing" I replied.
"Okay, I'll stop talking to Kaily altogether then. We'll have nothing to argue anymore" My eyes was tight and also hers.
"What kind of girl do you take me for? A bitch? A psycho?" I hissed angrily and Flynn closed her eyes tiredly, probably drained and so was I.
"No, how much does it take for you to believe me?"
"I do"
"Then please act like you believe me"
"Of course I do, but does she have to call you everytime? Are you guys that close? How are we suppose to be together when there was someone else with you all the time?" My chin wobbled but I kept my ground.
"We are best friend to everyone Ellie"
"So what are you telling me? I have to watch it and suck it up?"
"Tell me, how are you going to tell our friend then?" Flynn uttered and my chest tightened to the point I couldn't barely breathe and even though she also has a point, it was still hurt like a bitch.
Things were hard for us, for me lately.
I touched my cheeks and swiped furiously, until then I realized I was crying.
Flynn grabbed my form then hooked her arms under my knees setting me on her laps. I whimpered pathetically when she pressed my cheeks on her chest after she dropped a kiss on my temple. I sobbed all the frustration and anger over these few days on to her shirt leaving a big wet spot there.
"I'm sorry baby" Flynn sweet whispered over me like a melting honey as kissing my head repeatedly and I cried harder.
"You were cold to me, and I did nothing wrong" I said through my tears, stomping on her chest and she let me.
"Shuuuush.. it was all my fault..I'm sorry..baby..forgive me" she rocked me gently on her laps letting me cry like a baby.
"You don't love me anymore" I wailed, my noses blocked and my breath hitched as I said those words that I've been thinking lately out loud.
"I'm not, please, stop crying" She kept her chin on my head as I sobbed.
"I hate you" I was finding it hard to breath as emotion boiling inside me like an inferno. My heart broke all over again at the thought of her giving away her attention to another girl.
"No don't" her hold tighten on mine successfully calmed me down. She kissed my lips and wiped my tears away.
"Let's don't fight anymore okay? I'm tired. I hate seeing you distant yourself away from me. I hate seeing you cry. It worsen if I was the one to make you cry" She grabbed my face holding me in places as she trapped me by her intense brown orbs. For once they seemed sad.
"You can accuse me whatever you want, but please. I love you. please remember that. I love only you." I sniffed loudly watching Flynn inched her face toward mine and closed her lips on me.
I sighed into the kiss like a lovesick puppy and I was happy again, butterflies let loose after I trapped them for days inside an iron cage. My fingers laced through her hair instinctively needing to feel them in my hand. Passion intensify as she angled her head then pressing me closer to her body as she practically consumed me on the spot.
I pulled my face away, gasping for air as she let go of my lips with a popping sound. She kissed my lips one more time then pulled me into her embrace and I hugged her neck tight breathing in her safe comforting smell. For once in a long time I felt whole again, wanted. She rubbed her hand slowly on my back and I sighed then hugged her tighter, her body heat seeped into me and I felt hundred times lighter, like I was walking on air.
"I miss you" Flynn snuggled her nose into my hair and whispered.
"I miss you too, I thought I could die" My voice was breaking and I tried not to cry again as I mumbled low into her chest. I felt pathetic enough.
"It's all daddy fault" Flynn joked, faking our baby voice and I grinned immediately.
"You're an idiot" I glared playfully at her and sniffed making her burst out laughing then leaned down to pecked my lips.
"Umm your idiot" Her smirk was glowing and that made me grinned along. Magically, the black heavy cloud lifted off our head, and I giggled when we both leaned toward each other lips at same time.
Her lips met me halfway and I purred at the back of my throat at the blinking stars behind my eyelids and the prickling sensation from inside my belly. She kissed me slowly, passionately from sweet to and intense mission of blowing my mind. I was panting heavily when she pulled away.
"Come shower with me" I opened my eyes at her but she already carried me toward her bathroom.
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