"b? are you awake?"
"mmh... em? what's up? it's 1am." brendon replies, yawning into the phone.
"i know, but... my mom's been seeing this guy, and i can hear them yelling at each other down stairs."
"shit. have you met this guy? and are you okay? is he getting aggressive?"
"no, i haven't spoke to him - but i've seen him a few times though. they're just yelling. he looks intimidating. i'm just scared."
"is it the noise? is that why you are scared?" he asks, and i hear the muffling of his bed sheets in the background.
"it reminds me of... someone i used to know." i say as a bit more of a question rather than a statement.
"em, what do you mean by someone?" brendon responds. he's starting to sound increasingly concerned.
"i don't want to talk about it."
"em."
"no." i shake my head. i don't know why i was so afraid of telling him.
"em. you can tell me, okay. but if you really don't want to, just say the word and i'll drop it."
i sigh deeply, taking a few moments to consider it. "when i was younger. when my mom got remarried for the first time. he was... he was pretty violent towards her. abusive, even."
"fuck. i'm sorry. what about you? did he do anything to you?"
"on the occasion," I reply quietly, somehow hoping he didn't hear me.
"what a fucking bastard. but he's gone now, yeah?"
"we're fine now. haven't seen him for years. and i'm hoping to keep it that way."
there's a moment of silence between us, and i hear a crash downstairs. "shit," i whimper into the phone, holding it tightly in my clammy hand.
"em? jesus, even i heard that. is everything okay?"
"yes... i think. something must have just knocked over or something." i say, even though the silence downstairs says otherwise.
"hey, don't go downstairs. i don't want you to get hurt. i can come over, okay?"
"b, it's okay. i'm sure it's just an accident. i'll be right back."
before brendon can protest, i put him on mute and slip on some socks, then tiptoe quickly downstairs.
"mom?" i call out, trying to muster a confident voice but i instead sound weak and anxious.
"Emma? Go back to bed, sweetie."
"Mom, what's going on?" I peep my head around the corner, to see my mom standing with tears in her eyes, and her boyfriend with his fists against the counter, heavily breathing with a broken vase next to him on the floor.
"mom. are you okay?"
"i'm fine, baby. just get back into bed. please."
without insisting another time, I quickly run back up the stairs. i don't want to make her even more worried with my disobedience. finally, i'm back in my room.
"b? are you there?"
"em? shit. are you okay?"
"sorry b," i sigh, "sorry for waking you up this early. i know i shouldn't have called you-"
"no, it's okay. i wanna be there for you."
i manage to smile, even after the anxious night i've had. my head finally hits the pillow.
"i can sleep now, b. okay?"
"don't hang up on me. just, stay there at least. for ten minutes."
"so clingy!" i giggle quietly, placing my phone right next to my head, as if he was really here next to me.
"good night, em. okay? i'm right here."