I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P21-Let's give it up for TAO ;)

TAO'S POV
Hee Rin and I became very close now. She's a very good person and I can't imagine how everyone hates her when all she did was to be happy. I think I quite understand her at times and not to mention that she really is very easy to read.
We usually go to shopping whenever we're free. I know I'm a guy and it's weird for me to do shopping often, but hey, I think it's cool, especially when I'm with Hee Rin. She really likes shopping, you see, and you can see it from the way her eyes sparkle when inside a shop.
I don't know why but I think I developed feelings towards her. I know it sounds lame and I know I am stupid for even thinking about this. She's the wife of my friend yet I can't stop myself for thinking of her always. I don't know how and I don't know when did I start liking her but seeing her everyday makes me complete.
I know that I may not have the greatest smile, the pretty face like Luhan hyung or the best fashion sense.... but I have a big heart to love her with. And maybe that was the only weapon I can hold against Luhan hyung and I will never ever hurt her, if she'll just give me a chance, but of course, I'm not expecting Hee rin to love me back since I know how she loves Luhan hyung and it's impossible to break it..
I envy my hyung sometimes, for he has the most perfect and loving wife in the world.. Though he can see it, I hope he can feel it..
Today though, I accompanied Hee Rin once again as we sat on the bench at the school garden. I often do this now, being with her. Good thing that my friend wasn't suspicious about me missing most of the time.
You see, Hee Rin doesn't have any friend here in the school and I think it's enough for her to consider me as her only friend. I don't mind either cause I really like it when we're just together even in silence.
"You look tired" I said, feeling concerned. I always noticed that these past few days she's so down and she always look tired and sad.
"Yeah.. I was surfing yesterday in my laptop about different dishes"
"why?"
"because I need to learn how to cook for Luhan" she yawned.
"you really love him huh?"
"ofcourse! I love him so muuucccchhh!!!" she smiled... of course it hurts to listen to those words.. But I just shrug it off.. Because I love her.. And I need to be happy for her. That was the right thing to do right? That was the right thing to do when you love someone, You should respect their decision and accept everything that will make them happy even if it hurts you.
I sometimes wonder how I fell inlove with her. She's not actually my type to begin with and she's my hyung's wife! But maybe because there's something about her that makes my heart flutter. Maybe it's the way she smiles? Even if I know sometimes her smile is fake.
Sometimes, when you look deeply into her eyes.. You would notice her hidden sadness..
I hope she can cry it out.. Cause sometimes, you can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you just by keeping all your feelings hidden..
I always wanted to tell her That I am willing to lend her my shoulders for her to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hands for her to hold.. "yah kungfu panda! Why are you staring at me?"
"I'm not! And don't call me kungfu panda!" I scowled.
I always wonder if she find me attractive in any way? Or does she even notice that I like her? That all I strive for is her happiness?
And does she even realize that giving her full attention to Luhan hyung would be the sweetest thing she will do.. But there will be one question.. Is she even appreciated?
Sometimes I don't even get myself why I even like being with her all of the time when all I get to hear is about her love for my hyung. I know I told her to tell me everything when she's down, but I can't help but to feel much hurt than her. I don't want her to be like this.. I want her to smile.
There was one time when tears fell from her eyes..I was appalled.. That was the first time that Hee Rin cry.. I always frown when she became all dramatic and serious but I never would've thought that she'll cry in front of me.
I always told her that she can cry it out but now that she did, I felt scared and hurt. This is the most painful scene I am afraid to see.. To see her cry..
Hee Rin... if only I was him..
I would love you more than you could imagine..