Kennedy Onika "Nicki" Maraj.
I laid in my king sized bed alone, while I slowly drowned in my own tears. The pain I felt was beyond unimaginable, something I'd never wish upon my worst enemy. The heartbreak I was experiencing was certainly the worst thing I'd ever experienced. The way it hurt was something I couldn't even put into words, not that I wanted to anyways.
I looked at my phone as the LED light flashed for the millionth time. Eventually, I found enough strength within me to pick it up and see what it was. I typed my four-digit pin into the screen, only to be flooded with more vibrations from messages. I knew a lot of people were reaching out to me, being that I hadn't talked to anyone in two days. I couldn't find the words to say to anyone,I just knew that I wasn't happy at this point in my life.
48-hours of non-stop tears, guilt, and sorrow for something that I felt was partially my fault.
After realizing that the text messages and missed calls were from my best friends, mother, and brother.. I finally found the strength to get out of bed and take a shower.
I opened the door to my mid-sized bedroom, and walked a few feet down the hall into the bathroom. I walked over to the shower, cutting it on. I just wanted to take a long shower, relax, and try to clear my head from everything that has happened.
I quickly stripped out of my bra and panties, and slid into the shower.
The hot water hit my skin viciously, but it felt amazing. I stayed under the water for about ten minutes, allowing the hot water the chance of purifying my skin. I used a Vanilla scented body gel to soothe my skin. It made me feel brand new, the steam and heat from the shower put me into a deeper zone.
About thirty minutes later, I'd decided that I was just about finished. I got out of the shower, wrapping my body with the grey-plush towel that hung on my towel rack. I took slow steps out of the bathroom towards my bedroom. I tried to relax, but memories replayed in my head about certain nights that I had in that shower. Nights I spent with him, and only him. The rough pushes up against the walls, the hair pulls, and the hot-running water dripping against our bodies.
No matter how much I tried to accept the new life that was yet to come, I couldn't.
I wasn't really planning on calling anyone back, but I was up for texting. I didn't even know if my voice was strong enough to speak after all the yelling that had previously took place.
I picked up my phone and went to my text messages.
FROM: MOMMY❤️
KENNY MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME.. DON'T FORGET THE DINNER.
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TO: MOMMY❤️
I DIDN'T, ILL BE THERE TOMORROW NIGHT TO HELP YOU.
My mother was the only one who ever called me Kenny or Kennedy. Everyone else referred to me as Nicki, which was a nickname that drew from my middle name: Onika.
The next messages were from my bestfriends Candice and Thembi, whom I usually called Candy and Tete.
FROM: CANDY
BITCH CALL ME AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, STOP IGNORING MY CALLS.
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TO:CANDY
THERE'S TOO MUCH, I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING WELL...DINNER @ 6?
Then next was Tete, she wasn't as aggressive as Candy. Tete was always the most understanding one, and had remained that way our whole lives.
FROM: TETE
ARE U OKAY BABE, CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE FEELING BETTER..
--
TO: TETE
IM BETTER, ALOT BETTER THAN BEFORE. DINNER @ 6 with CANDY?
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After agreeing with the girls that we were going on a well needed dinner date at Texas De Brazil. It was one of my favorites, being that they served steak to die for.I was in a much happier mood than before after joking around with the girls in text messages. Even though they didn't know the full story, they still created jokes that made me cheer up.
I looked into my full length mirror, pleased by my outfit of choice. I was wearing pink and white printed skinny-legged pants with a slight rip in the knee, along with an all white crop tee. After minutes of debating, I decided on Hot Pink Giuseppe Pumps to go along with a Pink Chanel Bag. I knew the New York weather would be a little chilly today, so I decided on a White Leather Jacket.
My taste in clothing, cars, and lifestyle was more on the expensive side usually. I wasn't filthy rich, but I was a well established woman. Growing up in Queens wasn't the best place, and I watched my mother struggle while raising three kids.
I was originally born in Trinidad, but at an early age my mother and father figured they wanted a better life for my older brother and I. They both moved to New York, leaving me and my brother in Trinidad with my grandmother for a whole year. I was only six, so I didn't understand why they'd chose to leave. I was hurt and confused, but my brother became my rock and best friend.
After twelve long months, my father returned to get us and we moved to the states. When we arrived to New York, I realized my life had changed forever.
We had our own house and I finally had the chance to have my own room. Both of my parents had well paying jobs, while me and my brother began going to school. I met Tete and Candy in my neighborhood and we clicked automatically. Just when things were getting good, I had been in New York for a few years and life couldn't be any better.
By the time I was twelve, my dad lost his job and his terrible drinking and drug habit came into place.
First it wasn't that bad and my mother was able to handle the bills on her own. Within months it escalated. I witnessed him hit my mother, fight my brother, and do the most craziest things no daughter should ever witness a father do.My mom had found out she was pregnant with my younger brother, and that only added fuel to the fire.
I became a "wild teenager" due to my circumstances at home, I did everything I wasn't suppose to do. I started staying out late, drinking, smoking, and having sex with a boy that I thought loved me. That only lead to me getting pregnant, I was only sixteen. Technically I was a baby having a baby, and it was something I didn't know how to deal with. Of course he wasn't ready to be a father, and my mother was barely making it in life with her three children.
Doing what I thought was best, I got an abortion. I regret that awful decision still this day, and forever will.After years of searching for love that I missed from my father, I met this man. A man that would forever change my life, and leave an everlasting impact. His name was Safaree Samuels, my true first love.
I was working at a local restaurant,and he came in one day with his guys. We didn't talk to each other, but we made eye contact. I could never forget his face and the way he looked at me.
As soon as I got home, I told Tete and Candy. I thought about him daily and thought that I had found my dream man. Everything about him was perfect, and I wanted to know who he was.
Eventually he came back to the restaurant and we exchanged numbers.
To say that Safaree would change my life, would truly be an understatement. He helped me in so many ways, mentally and emotionally. Without him I wouldn't have graduated from high school, went on to college, or be the woman I am today. He showed me my worth and he treated me as the queen I was. From the age of seventeen to the age of twenty seven, I was loved and also cherished. Within that ten years, I changed my whole life around.
I went to a local college, earning a degree in Business. I also had a passion for cosmetology, so I went to school for that also. With the help from man of my dreams, I ended opening up my own salon. He helped move my mother and brother out of the wore down house in Queens, and into a nicer house in the suburbs. My other brother had started his own family, and was now a barber at my shop.
My relationship with my father was never sewed back up, we talked occasionally but I haven't forgiven him. He got his life together, but moved back to Trinidad.
I dreamed to live the life I lived now, but I never really believed it would come true. I was one of the top hairstylist in New York and well paid for what I did. I owned a beautiful shop in the heart of New York City, with ten other hairstylist, three nail techs, a makeup artist, and five barbers.
My business was something that I was extremely proud of, but also something that I wouldn't have been able to accomplish without my downfalls.
I could never forget where I can from, and I carried my story on my back proudly.
Now take a glimpse into the life of Kennedy Onicki "Nicki" Maraj.
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This story will be amazing, and something that I'll work very hard on. DO NOT correct any situation because somethings are fictional.
Somethings are true, but with a twist.
If You're Reading This.. I'm so excited that I've published this story.
I've had many failed attempts ar typing a Nicki story, but this one is it.
Enjoy... VOTE & COMMENT!