Dovah's POV:
"I think... I understand now."
The mysteries of power in this reality. I've gotten a pretty good idea of how things work here after countless adventures and experiments.
It's about fucking time I pieced it all together.
In the reality of South Park, there are three basic kinds of 'power' you can have. In the most extreme sense, there's Unlockable Power, Biological Power, and Technological Power with all three of these categories being intertwined and mixed like a Triple Venn Diagram.
First there is Unlockable power which, as the name suggests, consists of power you can 'unlock' so to speak. Chi or life energy is here. All branches of magic are here too.
Those kinds of power can be unlocked through either specialized training or rituals like the one New Kid inadvertently goes through to become king in SOT or the one he purposefully goes through to become a Netherborn in TFBW.
Chi is naturally present within all living beings, and if properly utilized, gives you superhuman speed, strength, agility, durability, the whole nine yards; energy attacks are also possible if you channel your inner Chi into them like what the Martial Artist class in TFBW does.
It can also be customized and focused on one specific aspect like Jimmy's super speed or the Brutalist and Speedster classes New Kid can get in TFBW.
Simply put, Chi is extremely adaptable which makes sense when you consider how it makes up all living things. Non-living beings can use this too if they can directly absorb the energy, but I'll go deeper into that later.
Then there are the magical deviations which still use Chi as a base and are tied to life itself, but said Chi is altered by a form of magic. This could be Netherborn magic, Satanic magic, Angelic magic, the list goes on and on, but the point is it's still using Chi, just with a different source altering it. This source can be accessed through bestowal rituals like the one Kenny uses to turn New Kid into a Netherborn.
Some of these deviations can be combinated due to their similar nature like Netherborn and Satanic magic, but others are polar opposites and hinder each other when mixed together like Angelic and Satanic magic. However, there are exceptions to the latter, you just need to be a little creative if you want to find them.
The sources of these different kinds of magic come from the 'progenitors' of said magic who are the 'lesser' gods that reside in most timelines. Some examples of this are Cthulhu being the progenitor of Netherborn magic, Satan and the other lucifers like the Canadian Devil being the progenitors of Satanic magic, "God" (the animal chimera thing) being the progenitor of Angelic or Holy magic, and so on.
The energy of these progenitors is naturally the 'purest' for lack of a better term which allows them to use abilities that others who use their power can't. Examples of this are Cthulhu's Elder God powers and the Satanic 'Demon Child' class abilities.
These progenitors can also manipulate the energy of others who use their powers like what Cthulhu did to the member berries' forces during the Nahkriin war. This ability in particular is what allows me to alter the fundamentals of these different kinds of magic, changing their properties to better suit my needs.
This is how I managed to mix Satanic and Holy energy and abilities together without either form of magic dampening the other. It's also how I managed to turn the Red Karen and Tricia saved into a Nephalem, something never before seen or even thought of in this reality.
My arsenal of custom bestowal rituals was the result of mastering all these different kinds of energy and magic. The power and efficiency of all my abilities stemming from these kinds of power has also been 'maxed out' for lack of a better term.
The next category to go over is Biological power. This category is for abilities that are innate or biological in living beings.
Let's use Zarganor as an example. He can naturally produce that alien milk which can form milk spawn or give debuffs like slowness to whoever he wishes to as long as the milk makes contact with them. He also has that diamond-shaped organ on his head that allows him to use telepathy.
That's the kind of thing I'm talking about when I say Biological power.
Now as one would expect, this branch of power is much harder for most people to take advantage of since you can't use these kinds of powers without the biological adaptations necessary for them in the first place.
Human beings can't suddenly grow wings to fly like birds or create webs like spiders can from their bodies, now can they?
If you want to utilize these kinds of abilities (assuming you don't naturally have the biological adaptations needed for them to begin with), then you either have to have an ability-copying or replicating ability (like Zarganor's Milk Spawn), an ability transfer ability or method (like Trapper Keeper or the Goo Transfer Machine), or be willing to experiment with a little mad science.
Dr. Mephesto is someone who could probably pull that parascientific bullshit off at the cost of your body being turned into a chimeric monstrosity, your body being completely covered in asses, or both. Probably both if his army of mutant 6th graders in TFBW is anything to go by.
Other people can master mad science too with enough practice like my timeline's Timmy when he surgically implanted several of Zarganor's organs into himself, giving him his telekinesis, telepathy, Milk Spawn, and other abilities, but such instances of accumulated expertise are few and far between.
Other potential methods for acquiring biological abilities that way include letting yourself be reborn into a ginger or crab person through those grotesque incubation pods and letting yourself be infected and transformed by viruses like the Nazi Zombie goo or zombies in general.
You could even go the Christopher Reeve route in season 7's "Krazy Kripples" and get to superhuman levels of power by sucking fluids out of fetuses. That method helps people gradually recover from injuries too (like it did with the celebrity in question), but it takes a shitload of fetuses for someone to get even Captain America levels of strength, and moral issues aside, you can't exactly expect shitloads of fetuses to suddenly rain down from the sky.
If you're Tolkien levels of rich, can strike a backroom deal with South Park's abortion clinic (or maybe Dr. Mephesto; you can never be sure with that guy), and have a loose enough moral compass, then go right ahead and spam stem cell smoothies all you like.
But back to the main point, obviously, most of those methods aren't what you would call ideal. Trapper Keepers and Goo Transfer Machines are the way to go for this branch, but those options come with their own problems too for pretty much everyone except me.
(("You're welcome."))
Thank you, T.K.
And speaking of T.K, the final kind of power you can get in this reality is Technological power.
Imagine having a suit of armor like Iron Man or Lex Luthor; that's the kind of thing I'm referring to here.
The Diamond of Pantheos is one such tool you can use. Same with Trapper Keeper.
But wait. Didn't I just say that using a Trapper Keeper was a method for obtaining Biological power?
Yes, I did. I also said earlier that these three branches of power could be seen as a Venn Diagram; they're all connected with each other and many abilities can be placed in more than one category of power.
So in short, to get power in South Park, you either need to unlock chi or magic, find a way to get biological abilities from others, or rely on technological means.
Or do what I did and get as much from all three branches as you possibly can.
Project Ascension was the result of that. I became a being that was only below the True Gods in power, beings who are comparable to fictional reality warpers like Bill Cipher, Discord, and Asriel Dreemur.
I could probably even outgrow them naturally thanks to my ever-evolving body... eventually, anyway.
But there's no way in hell they're gonna give me that kind of time.
Freeman said it himself; they have their eyes on me.
Reality proved that they could still easily defeat me.
I can't get complacent now. I need to prepare a path for my sisters to one day surpass them without them knowing because they sure as hell aren't gonna let me pull that off.
I'm like a pioneer in that regard, a pioneer that's mapped out almost everything they need.
The resources used to get me this far can be gathered again. The experiments and testing done to perfect my power to this extent has already been concluded.
T.K. and I could set up another 'Project Ascension' for the two of them.
T.K. probably already has, but I made sure he wouldn't tell me if he did to prevent any of them from learning the details by reading my mind. Future Cartman was the inspiration for that particular method.
It's all ready to go... except for one crucial detail.
This motherfucking God Chi.
The energy that only True Gods naturally wield. The energy that can create and destroy pretty much anything. The energy I need to master if I (my sisters) want to undergo a complete second transcension fast enough to surpass them before the gods realize it.
The energy that's proving to be a massive pain in the ass.
Any cheesing method I've tried to grow the amount of the stuff in me has failed miserably.
I first tried giving little bits of energy to clones split off of me with the Mother Clone Blob's ability.
You know how those clones of mine get a small fraction of my body and energy that then instantly recovers in me? It's like me going from 100% power to 95% power when splitting off a clone with 5% of my power and then instantly going back to 100% power as my body regenerates the lost piece. I then merge with that split off clone to increase my total power to 105% of what I had before.
I was hoping that this concept would apply to God Chi like it does with every other kind of energy and magic I have within me, but nope. Just like with abilities, I can't duplicate God Chi through this method.
After that, I tried getting a little more creative.
For this next potential method, I repeated the first step of having some separated clones take a bit of my God Chi during the duplication. I would then have them send the God Chi back to me with the hopes of God Chi replenishing in them much like how a person replenishes energy after draining it by working out or something.
This method worked for regular Chi just like the last method did.
Not for God Chi.
I tried waiting for a while to see if the clones needed some time to truly adapt to the God Chi so they can automatically replenish it after usage.
Nope.
When that didn't work, I took things another step further and had more clones split off of me, but instead of God Chi, these ones had Changeling Red's ability; the ability that allows someone to gain an exact copy of the body, power, and abilities a person has upon usage.
The targets of this ability have to be close to death for this to work, but fulfilling that condition isn't an issue for me here. I can just injure the clones carrying God Chi to the brink of death to satisfy that condition.
I intended to have these Changeling clones copy and duplicate the clones with God Chi using their signature ability, but the God Chi didn't copy over to the Changeling clones like everything else did, so that was also a failure.
I tried similar tricks with a few other unique, outlandish abilities of mine, but it's like they just ignore the God Chi in me. Not only that, but despite splitting off into countless clones with tiny bits of God Chi present in each copy, the energy doesn't grow or recover at all.
Not even Gizmo Ike's duplication ability worked with the clones carrying God Chi and that duplication is far more thorough and all-encompassing then the Mother Clone Blob's duplication!
At the very least, if I were to ever use my final trump card and create countless duplicates of my own body, then those clones probably wouldn't have God Chi like I do.
However, the sheer number of them that would be created overtime would be more than enough to overcome that small advantage. If anything, this new discovery makes it even more likely that my true duplicates would turn against me once the immediate issue is taken care of since they would want that God Chi for themselves!
Well, that trump card of mine is the nuclear one for a reason. Using it means that everyone and everything in existence, including myself, is completely screwed.
Oh, and as for TimeFart Summon, that ability just flat out doesn't work anymore.
Remember how I ended up killing that past Dovahkiin along with the Dovahkiin within me during my second of four big battles? Well, turns out that the timefart is locked on to only that one past self.
I tried altering the thing to just bring another version of Past New Kid over, but it didn't work no matter what T.K. and I tried. My guess is that Morgan Freeman ensured that the abilities he invented couldn't be cheesed like that. Being able to summon like 50 past versions of yourself with all of them being given your current powers while they're around sounds overpowered as hell, right?
Well, I still have my duplication abilities, but it's still a shame that I lost such a powerful trump card. It may have even let me duplicate God Chi too if Young Freeman is anything to go by.
I unfortunately can't confirm that which sucks, but I can only blame myself (and fucking Dovahkiin) for the death of my most powerful summon.
So that covers my own cheesing ideas for creating more God Chi, but what about canon?
Well, the only reference point I can use is season 4's "The Tooth Fairy's TATS 2000", the episode that helped me form what once was my second greatest trump card.
The side plot for that episode involves Kyle pondering his existence after learning that the Tooth Fairy isn't real. He has internal debates, reads a shitload of books, and actually manages to comprehend the concept of reality itself while questioning his own existence.
He first completely disappears from the fabric of reality before reappearing as reality itself, warping and altering it to his liking. In Kyle's own words "This is reality! I am everywhere and nowhere! I am nothing and eeeeeverythiiiiiing!"
He could bend space and time all around him, turn into whatever the fuck he wanted, and even showed some images and videos from our own reality that featured landscapes and objects.
Now if fucking Kyle can pull off a stunt like that, then surely I could too, right? That's what I thought and that's what I figured out how to do alongside T.K. during Project Ascension.
That's what I did during my final fight with Dovahkiin.
Unfortunately, doing so doesn't help me with this.
Entering that state is basically entering Reality's domain; the person, not the concept. If what he claimed is true, then he created the reality all around me, if not played a major hand in it alongside the other True Gods.
He, if not all the True Gods, probably created my original reality too if the stunt Kyle pulled in that season 4 episode is anything to go by.
But wait! Isn't taking God Chi from Young Freeman the exact same thing? Well, no, since I directly stole it from his own flesh and blood and turned it into my own power.
When I entered 'reality' during my fight against Dovahkiin, I was just borrowing Reality's power, not taking it for myself.
Hell, doing such a thing can apparently allow Reality to directly take control of me since I'd be in his domain! That's what he told me he'd do next time I tried that and with how pissed off he probably is at me right now, I don't plan on calling his probably-not-a-bluff.
I still can't remember anything else from that experience either! I could potentially clear that fog away with God Chi, but that just brings me back to my original problem.
Then there's Reality himself kicking me out from that state and all but verbally banning me from entering it ever again. That was before I almost murdered him, by the way.
So even if doing that helps me comprehend the concept of reality more, thereby allowing me to get a better understanding of God Chi, I still can't do that due to the risk of the person Reality taking advantage of my forced entry and erasing me or turning me into his puppet or something.
And with how much more powerful than me he clearly still is... yeah.
I won't be wandering into the lion's den, especially when the lion living in it is fucking furious at me.
So canon is out and none of my own strategies or loopholes are working. What the fuck do I do now?
'What the hell am I doing wrong? Does God Chi not automatically refill when a person empties their supply like normal Chi does? No, that can't be. The Dovahkiins and I used plenty during our fight and yet that all recovered after I absorbed them. Does it not grow at all? Then how did Freeman become so powerful?' I question internally.
(("Perhaps you're looking at this the wrong way.")) Huh?
(("Think about it. Remember how special this kind of energy is, Dovah? You are already capable of synthesizing literally any type of material and elements at will to form out of nowhere. Due to this, plus our space and time manipulation, we can generate and contain a small universe within our body. But even this will have an end someday.
As our evolution and purpose is to never cease to exist and grow/expand, we will eventually overcome this issue and truly transcend physical law or reach the level of a 'True God', even if we were to never absorb a single thing ever again. However, by my calculations, that could and probably will take entire eons to accomplish.
This 'God Chi' we acquired from Young Freeman basically serves as a major shortcut for us as you already theorized. All that's needed is to figure out how to access that shortcut and while we've been able to cheat every step of the way so far, I don't think that growing and mastering this particular power is something that can be cheesed."))
"Well then what do I do?"
I still don't even know how to use God Chi outside my body. And yet Dovahkiin was able to. Both Dovahkiins I fought back then were able to.
(("You did too."))
"That strengthened Time Bomb I used against Dovahkiin was me redirecting his own God Chi into a Time Bomb I already made! It wasn't me utilizing my own!"
(("I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about the noose you used to almost kill Reality."))
"That noose was a part of my body, T.K! An altered, detached part of my body, sure, but a part nonetheless. It's the exact same concept of using that power to strengthen my body regularly!"
(("And yet it clearly altered that part of your body even further back then. Remember what happened with the Demon Child class? You can already use it subconsciously, you just need to figure out the right method to bring it out willingly."))
"...Bring it out willingly, huh?"
When Past Dovahkiin brought it out, it was used to alter reality to certain scenes from his past. It wasn't just that power becoming unstable in him, was it?
Even if I don't count that usage of it, when the Dovahkiin who's body Freeman put me in used God Chi to fight me, it wasn't just used to strengthen himself. He also used it to create people and objects that related to his 'King' class.
He learned how to use it, as have I. My body already knows what to do; my mind only needs to understand that.
But the most important realization I just had wasn't that.
'This power... there's a personal aspect to it.'
Every True God I've seen has their own gimmick. Sure, they all tend to lean towards giving advice and insight, but they all have their own unique personalities.
Even Young Freeman had this to an extent. His time as the number one time patroller must have shaped him into an unstoppable protector and savior; a Symbol of Freedom like he's referred to as. And as a result, his God Chi only focused on pure power and resistance.
Since the day I arrived in this reality, I've always tried pushing the boundaries of what's possible, breaking the system however I can. Instead of simply moving on to the next big thing as so many others here do, I take the time to deliberately experiment and learn whatever I can, bringing everything together into something much greater than the sum of its parts.
Even if others here try something similar and actually manage to accomplish such a thing, they probably just got lucky. Take some of the South Parker's superhero personas and powers for example. People like Kenny, Jimmy, Butters, and Timmy managed to stumble upon them in canon without even knowing how they did so and only use them while playing whatever game happens to fit the genre.
I've never let such a thing limit me before and I won't ever let that limit me in the future. My goals have changed drastically over the years, but the general methods I used to accomplish them have never changed.
So then why isn't this working?
Then it hits me. What T.K. said and my observations of the True Gods... There's more to my actions than just cheesing the system.
It's trying something new. Something that the native inhabitants of this reality would never even consider to be options for growth.
It's like when I first got access to Imaginationland. I simply played around with it, testing the limits of what I could achieve and trying to find ways around those limits.
(A/N: Chp 40 "Power NOT Beyond my Imagination")
So then maybe I should give that a try. Go back to my roots and just play around with any new discovery I happen to make until I find my way forward.
I open up a portal to this timeline's Imaginationland and head on in. Dimensional travel is childsplay to me now so I don't require a secret government portal or magical airship or anything like that.
I then just play around for a while, getting a feel for the place. It's been a long time since I went to this realm, but it doesn't take long for my memory to jog.
I could just have T.K. bring those memories up, but I decide not to. I want this to be as natural as possible after all.
'I remember planning to come here back before the Exalted Toolshed took me down. Looking back, that probably wouldn't have helped much thanks to the limits this place has.'
Limits that I should be able to break with God Chi.
It doesn't hurt to try, right?
I first re-test all the limits this place has just in case Imaginationland differs between timelines. The power limit is still there. Same with imagining any changes in yourself (no directly turning yourself into a different sex or race or anything like that).
You also can't cheat by imagining wish-granting things like a genie or the dragon balls. They only hold as much power as people do in this realm and don't even work outside of it.
One final limit I accidentally stumbled upon right now was a limit to how much you can imagine in this place. I found that out after having fun modifying a few Death Stars (power limit means the planet-destroying superlaser doesn't work properly) and deciding to move onto bigger projects.
Bigger as in going from imagining Death Stars to imagining Installation 00 from Halo.
For reference, the Death Star (the first one anyway) is about 120 kilometers in diameter. Installation 00 from Halo is nearly 130,000 kilometers in diameter. That's about 10 times the diameter of the Earth itself.
When I tried imagining the latter, Imaginationland kinda just... crashed.
It summoned a fraction of the massive station (that was likely heavily limited due to the other restrictions in place) just fine, but then everything else in that realm started to disappear and turn into a white void like the place was after it was nuked at the end of the Imaginationland Trilogy.
Even the multiple Death Stars and all the other stuff I imagined before weren't spared that fate.
T.K, after some investigation, found that everything else that was in this realm was essentially deleted to create more space for the space station to be created, but even then, it was barely halfway done by the time everything else in that realm had disappeared.
Think of Imaginationland like a data storage. If it is a 5GB storage file, then the stuff already in Imaginationland took up 1 or 2 gigs and Installation 00 took up like 10 gigs. The latter simply wasn't going to fit.
However, if you take stuff out of Imaginationland, you are clearing up more room for storage as a result. I found that out after blowing up the space station with a Divine Decimation. I was able to start imagining stuff again after that.
I then tried the same thing again, only this time, I took the half-finished station outside the realm via a massive dimensional portal I created, and sure enough, I was able to start imagining other stuff again.
Now you're probably thinking something along the lines of "Doesn't that solve the problem then? Can't you just spam creating Death Stars or something in there if you wanted to?", and the answer is technically yes, but there are issues with it.
The first is the previously mentioned limiter to how powerful something imagined in that place can be.
There is a loophole when it comes to imagining machines or other things with a bunch of parts to them where you can just imagine every small part of those things separately instead of the completed machine to begin with, therefore making a separate limiter for each part which doesn't apply when said parts are added together (50 parts of something with a power limit of 2 still adds up to 100 which is better than imagining the completed device with a power limit of 2), but there is another issue that comes with this method.
You have to at least have a general idea of what you're imagining so something like a 12-dimensional object that people can't perceive can't be imagined since they have no idea what they're imagining to begin with.
Now imagining a complete Death Star for example is one thing, but imagining each and every piece of one is a whole lot more complicated since I doubt that even the biggest Star Wars nerds out there know every single nut and bolt that goes into the mechanical Moon.
Sure, you could just go through the already imagined one and make note of every part of said mechanical Moon, but just imagine how long that would take for most people to do.
Then there's the issue of remembering every single nut and bolt that goes into the mechanical Moon long enough to create all the parts needed for more. Even if you just so happen to have a Photographic Memory, there is only so much stuff a human can remember, and unless you're someone like New Kid who has a super-adaptable body that can raise the ceiling of those limits to no end, you're pretty much screwed in that situation.
There's also the issue of taking it out of the realm to begin with. I doubt that there are any planet-sized Imaginationland portals lying around anywhere, so transporting your imagined Death Stars and other Sci-Fi Motherships out of there will be tricky to put it lightly.
Now there is a spacetime distortion located in the portals to that place that allow for bigger objects then it to cross over like what Kenny took advantage of when trying to bring a Star Destroyer into the 'real world'.
(A/N: Chp 58 "Campfire Songs, Sharks, and Space Aliens")
However, that distortion has limits and that Star Destroyer was just barely within said limits when looking at the size of the portal we had back then. Even with that advantage, creating a big enough portal to bring planet-sized objects over would be practically impossible. It would have to be the size of a country for crying out loud! And not a small one either!
See, look at that! I actually discovered something completely new again by just playing around with what I have.
Now let's see if I can remove a few of those pesky limiters.
I try to imagine Kenny McCormick. The Kenny McCormick from my timeline, power and all. Imaginationland can handle the memories and even willing him into being to begin with, but only through God Chi can I grant him his full strength back.
I focused long and hard and unknown to me (I wasn't listening to T.K's updates at that point), a golden glow began to surround me as one of my best friends was willed into being.
Imaginationland brought him here, and my God Chi completed the task.
"Well, that was trippy. Good job, dude." The imagined Kenny says as Netherborn flames surround him.
"I... did it?"
"Well, from what I can tell, you used Imaginationland as a crutch, but it's still a great start! Keep it up, bro!" Kenny cheers.
I give the copy of my best friend a smile and try again, only this time, I try to have Imaginationland do a bit less of the heavy lifting.
Days pass by in a flash and I get more and more accustomed to God Chi, using Imaginationland and my experience with the realm to guide me along. My body, mind, and soul are beginning to adapt more to this divine power, allowing my second transcension to coast along, but it's far from finished when I hit another roadblock in this latest quest.
And no matter how many brainstorming sessions and drug trips I have (the latter was accomplished this time around through those fucking Fuzzys from Yoshi's Island; I learned from Kenny that the noises they make get significantly less annoying when you're tripping balls), I can't seem to figure out a way around it.
...In my defense, Kenny McCormick is a walking avatar of chaos and destruction that you shouldn't trust with even a houseplant unless the plant is heavily insured and you want it dead.
So trusting him to help me focus for days on end is, well... yeah.
Also, I'm still thinking and acting like a human most of the time despite being a god. I know that has its downsides, but again, I don't want to become like Morgan Freeman or Reality. I don't want to become a True God like them; I want to become something that better suits me.
But perhaps... I could accomplish that by mixing a bit of both sides together.
(("Now you're starting to get it."))
T.K. made sure to chip in his thoughts from time to time. Kenny too.
And it wasn't long before someone else joined in on my brainstorming session.
"I've gotten a lot better since I started, but I still can't seem to will things into being entirely just yet. I can alter and change things just fine, but the creation aspect is still being a pain."
(("Perhaps instead of changing your methods to fit the crutch, you should change the crutch to fit your methods.")) It isn't T.K. that voices that suggestion in my head, but rather a copy of Timmy from my timeline.
Even now, he continues to give great advice.
"Good suggestion, but how do I change the crutch? There isn't really anything out there that's like Imaginationland."
(("There's your God Chi, isn't there?"))
"Timmy, the whole point of this is to-"
(("I know that. What I'm saying is that instead of using Imaginationland as a conduit, you should have yourself act as one. Remember Dragonsbane? The weapon I made for you didn't just strengthen your power, but it allowed you to channel your powers into them, stacking and empowering them into something more."))
"...Yeah, I remember. That scepter acted as another limb for me throughout most of my journey. So you think I should try something like that, huh? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot."
My first thought is to just create another Dragonsbane, only with this one being made out of my God Chi, but I soon dismiss that idea.
This conduit should be a representation of myself. It's like I said before, the True Gods all have their own gimmick, and I have one too.
I think back to my journey throughout this reality; everything I've done in my second life, everything that helped make me who I am, everything that makes me, 'me'... and a golden light begins to form on my hand.
It doesn't take long to think of the perfect conduit for myself, and frankly, it couldn't be more fitting.
The divine light soon fades around us and in my hand is... a stick.
A golden stick.
(("A stick? Really?")) T.K. asks in my head.
"Well, you know what the South Parkers say, T.K. Whoever controls the stick..." I raise it up and reality around me begins to change.
"...controls the universe."
The scene around me completely changes and I find myself in the small, quiet mountain town of South Park.
The Kingdom of Kupa Keep is behind me and the South Parkers in their fantasy cosplay are all around me. They even have the abilities they have in Phone Destroyer, a nice little confirmation of what I had hoped would happen.
"A conduit for my power like Dragonsbane once was. Such a thing serves as a crutch, preventing me from transcending completely, but it'll do for now. As long as the True Gods don't decide to finish me off in the near future, I'll master this power eventually and the stick will no longer be necessary when that happens, but until then, I'm happy with this."
The Stick of Truth represents a lot for me. It represents my child-like human nature and playfulness, my love for all things South Park, my desire to push the boundaries of what's possible here... I can go on and on, but the point is that the random stick South Park and the people living in it chose to bestow ultimate power to fits me perfectly, as I technically went through the same exact thing.
Not only am I making the gods' power my own, but I can also use the countless other powers I've acquired to make it become something far better.
With this, I should stand a much better chance against them.
"Thanks for helping me out one last time, guys, and... I'm sorry that I couldn't save you in the end." I apologize to my old best friends with a sad smile on my face.
"It's alright, Dovah. Just promise to keep taking care of Karen and we're all good. Make sure she becomes the best hero ever, okay?"
"I promise, Ken. I've pretty much got the story all set up now. Karen and Tricia will be the ones to save the world from the lesser evil I've created from destroying the greater evil."
"Yeah, yeah. Just don't let this script you made up stop you from being their big brother in my place, alright?"
(("Kenny has a point, Dovah. I understand that your situation regarding the True Gods is... dire to put it lightly and that you're doing your best to pave the way for them, but please keep in mind that the best thing you could do for Karen and Tricia is to be there for them when they need you."))
"I know, Timmy." I sigh. "But we can't always get what we want. I can only do what I've done since the very beginning... try my absolute fucking best."
"The very beginning... what a long way we've come since the day you dragged me to a junkyard to bestow eldritch superpowers to you." Kenny reflects.
"Heh, yeah. Feels like forever ago since it was just the three of us chilling out, fucking with the plot of your show." I chip in.
"Tell me about it, our canon was fucked. Remember that party game I came up with towards the end of our run?"
"The one where whenever your screen self does something stupid, you down a shot?"
"That's the one." Kenny smirks.
"Yeah, the one that got us all fucking wasted and even made you die from alcohol poisoning a few times." Yes, I got hammered too. New Kid isn't a character on the show, just the games, but Kenny accounted for that and created a spin-the-wheel esc solution to that problem.
I spun the thing before every episode we watched and whatever character it landed on was the one I drank to that episode. I swear that fucking wheel was rigged; how else would it land on Cartman so many times?
(("Well nevertheless, remember that just because something can be changed doesn't mean that it should be changed, no matter how perfect you can make it."))
"I know, Timmy. That's why I'm leaving the fate of the multiverse out of my hands regardless of whether or not the True Gods decide to exterminate me.
It doesn't matter how powerful I become, there will always be things that I can't do. So instead of losing myself while trying to be a perfectionist, I'll just do my best like always, and if I make a mistake, then I'll learn from it and do better from then on out.
Same with Karen and Tricia. I'll make sure that they don't make any of the mistakes I've made or will make in the future. I know that they'll become better than me one day. They'll be the heroes of this story and do what I never could; that's a promise."
"Thanks, dude." Kenny says before giving me a hug with Timmy joining in soon after.
This isn't the reunion I intended to have with them... but it'll do.
My two best friends since the very beginning. I never would've gotten this far without them.
I'll make sure they continue to live on through me.
(("Now then, before this reunion comes to a close, I have one last request for you, Dovah.")) Timmy suddenly breaks both the silence and the group hug we had going on.
"And that is?"
(("Please create a copy of our timeline's Butters... so I may promptly beat the shit out of him."))
"Oh! Oh! Can I get one too?" Kenny then chimes in, waving his arms around like the little kid he (physically and mostly mentally) is.
"Oh, so you get to be petty while I'm stuck trying to be the best version of myself I can be?"
(("I'm not the one who's technically dead right now. Also, you already got to beat the absolute shit out of the real one."))
"Yeah, but I'm not the one who somehow convinced him to lick a fucking power socket."
(("That was for science. This is for revenge."))
"...Fair enough." I relent before using the Stick of Truth to create what, or rather, who they asked.
"Alright, you guys. Let's have one last fight as the Defenders of the Mountain!" I cheer and the three of us charge towards the very buff Butters.
"Fuck yeah, let's do this!" He cheers and I smile while using the Stick of Truth to make a copy of our Butters.
It was one of the greatest fights I ever had.
(("Analysis: 99% of Enjoyment Factor - Nostalgia. 1% of Enjoyment Factor - The Actual Fucking Fight."))
'Shut up, T.K.'