Dovah's POV:
"Your dark angel isn't here right now... Please go away." Red mumbles while covering herself not only with her (my) hoodie, but also her large, black, feathery wings.
Unprovoked, conniving, manipulative and unparalleled evil... reduced to this.
Man, I'm good.
(("Not in the moral sense, you're not.")) Wow, really? Who would've guessed?
She's been like this ever since I revealed that surprise: I'm not dead. She's probably feeling a little betrayed right now since her precious partner Dii went off and did something without her knowledge or consent.
Along with everything else that's happened to her lately from her time in T.P. jail to her plans all being torn apart by the Changeling's incompetence (plus the copycat's own descent into madness) to simply everything falling apart around her as Young Freeman and I shattered her worldview with our displays of power, it seems like the small bit of sanity she had left finally broke.
Too much stress. Too much hatred. Too many demons of the past unleashed again. It was inevitable that she mentally broke eventually.
It's not like she was very well-adjusted to begin with. If she was, then she wouldn't be a genocidal, psychotic supervillain, now would she?
And now I'm going to build her mentality back up to fully revolve around me, just like how she planned to do the same and have my life revolve around her.
Looks like I won our little game of Tug-a-War, Rebecca, and now I'm gonna use the rope we played with to fucking hang you.
"I'm sorry, honey. I just needed to spend a little bit of time preparing. You know what the patrollers and terrors did to us, I just wanted to make sure we won this war." I apologize sweetly to the evil bitch of a variant of my favorite South Park girl.
"...We could have done it together." She whispers in disagreement as I gently stroke her wings.
"We got betrayed and arrested when we tried that, baby. If it wasn't for my little power-leveling session, we would have been locked up again or killed by Freeman Junior. I barely managed to beat him as is, and besides, you hated being caged up there, right?"
(("MY EYES! MY NON-EXISTENT EYES! WHERE'S THE SKIP BUTTON FOR THIS CUTSCENE?!")) Oh quit being so melodramatic, T.K.
Now you're probably wondering why I don't just get rid of her here and now. No, this isn't another Leslie situation. As I said before, she still has her uses.
I know she will probably build some dark multiversal empire now, which, as a 'radical libertarian' (I'm still basically an anarchist, T.K!), I find philosophically horrifying and oppose the very concept of, but I'm looking at the bigger picture here.
I still need to grow and I can't let there be any distractions. Because of this, I'll be letting the dark angel bask in the sunlight for a while, keeping all the attention on her while I do my own thing instead of just feeding her to the Lotgral. Also, allowing her to have eyes and ears everywhere will help me with finding more opportunities to grow for both myself and my sisters.
And once my sisters are ready to take over the spotlight and the multiverse is sufficiently pissed off at its ruling bodies enough, I'll have them take down the Dark Angel's evil empire, saving the world while convincing them to ensure that no other tyrants rise up in any shape or form unless they want a repeat of the Dark Angel's tyranny.
It's a win-win-win!
But that comes later. Right now, I need this angel to ascend to multiversal dictatorship.
(("You know that no matter how much attention Red gets, people will always remember the guy that single-handedly took down both the Time Patrol and Time Terrors with next to no effort, right? We'll always have a place in the spotlight now, even if it's as a multiversal boogeyman featured in various bedtime stories."))
'In a manner of speaking, yes. I figured that if I needed two not-so-fake deaths to smoke out our enemies' plans, then they deserved to win. But they didn't win. I did. Now all that's left is the cleanup.'
"Look at what happened, sweetheart." I cooed. "The changeling is gone, the few remaining patrollers are running for the hills, and there's nobody left to stop us. Nobody outside of Freeman and his friends has the power to oppose us now, and those guys don't do jack shit 99% of the time no matter how bad things are."
As I'm assuring her, I get past her wings, wrapping my arms around her while using my fiery aura to ever so slightly warm her up. That's right, Red. Everything is okay now.
Enjoy it while it lasts, you fucking snake.
"...really?" She asks while sinking deeper into my arms.
"That's right. Back then, you left the other terrors so you could be with me instead. You knew that we were meant for each other; the changeling could never hope to change that. She could never hope to truly become me and lost herself in the power she gained the second she tried.
She and the terrors were nothing but jokes; you and I managed to become so much more than they ever were. They were never going to be a part of the true story, love. This is how it was meant to be; Dovah and Red, together forever."
I don't even need to use any mental spells on her now; I just need to tell her what she wants to hear.
And it is just so fucking satisfying.
The more I build it up, the more painful for her it's going to be when I tear it all down bit by fucking bit.
'You thought we're a match? Sweetheart, I am far smarter than that. There is no one alive that can challenge me; you're unworthy, and that, love, is a fucking fact!
Your hopes, your dreams, your eventual empire, your true love, and everything else you have now and gain in the future. I will take everything away from you, Dark Angel Red. Mark my fucking words.'
(("Directly controlling her would be much more efficient.")) But where's the fun in that? It would be better if I further developed my own manipulation skills instead of relying on my abilities all the time, right?
Also revenge. Can't forget about that.
(("Remember how you handled Wendy wanting to join you back when you first started time traveling?"))
(A/N: Chp 86, "Game Over")
Comparing that Wendy and that Red isn't fair, T.K. You know the difference between the two.
Come to think of it, I should've told Wendy to work on her mental skills along with her physical ones. She would've ended up like Nagitana if I didn't stop her; no brains, all brawn with a side order of insanity.
Come to think of it, she already did. Welp, I'll be sure to fix that just like I promised I would.
(("Still though, this is messed up.")) Bitch, please. We've done far, far worse than a little mental manipulation. Cartman alone does this shit pretty much daily.
(("Do you really want to compare yourself to the typical Eric Cartman right now?")) It's just a big fat reference point that's meant to show how superior I am to him. I learned everything I needed from him and the others; all that's left is to apply it.
(("To quote the Old Farmer: you don't want to go down that road.")) I can handle it.
(("Sigh.")) Red stares lovingly into my eyes and I can feel a newfound determination in her. Good. She can go be my eyes, ears, and meatshield for a while as I put all the remaining pieces in place.
It isn't just her I need to get payback on after all; I still have to get back at a few people with a couple patrollers in particular being near the top of my current shitlist.
Looking at you, Toolshit.
'Well, she doesn't have to go build it up right now. We all deserve a break after all the crap we just went through.'
(("You think?"))
No, I know.
Along with my sweatshirt, she's wearing some ripped blue jeggings and red shoes, looking like just another regular kid if it wasn't for the black angel wings sprouting out of her back. Hiding those and her halo isn't difficult though; nothing's stopping us from parading around as normal ten year olds on the surface.
I'll have some fun with her, maybe go on a few adventures and such before she gets to work with her own faction. I'll make sure she believes that nothing's changed between us during that little excursion.
She'll remain blissfully unaware of the puppeteer and puppet trading places entirely. I'll still be her loving, perfect Dii who's going to rule everything in existence alongside her until I get what I need.
Now as for Wendy, well... let's flashback a little.
"Shit... ohhhh shit. What have I done?" Wendy looks at her hands with newfound clarity (and plenty of disgust) as tears build up in her eyes.
Once the Freeman's left and things calmed down, I had Wendy's A.I. partner (P.T.K.) do its best to try and un-fuck her mind with me using a few general mental abilities for support. She's far from being completely healed in her head, but it's a start.
I also made sure to disable Wendy's connection to the actual planet P.T.K. as that mental strain has clearly taken its toll on her despite all T.K. and I did to slowly and gradually prepare and ease her into fully controlling that battlestation with her mind.
Picture P.T.K. like Brainiac's ship in the DC Universe, only a lot bigger. Interfacing with its controls takes a shitload of focus and willpower for most people and with all the stress (both physical and mental) that she's been dealing with since she first merged with P.T.K, even someone as headstrong as her would begin to deteriorate mentally eventually.
"It's not entirely your fault Wendy; I used you and Red as bait along with the changeling to fight this war for me... I could have helped you sooner."
"I WOULD HAVE WENT ALONG WITH IT REGARDLESS! I WOULD HAVE JUMPED AT THE FIRST CHANCE TO GET STRONGER THROUGH SLAUGHTER AND HELP YOU!" She's sobbing at this point and all I can really do right now is do my best to comfort her.
"Yeah, you could have helped me, but I'm the one who let this happen to begin with, Dovah! I knew the risks and I still lost myself. I killed so many, I destroyed so much, I ruined my friendship with my world's Dovah when he tried to help me, becoming a controlling, manipulative piece of shit like Rebecca in the process! Calling you a monster would just make me a fucking hypocrite!"
Wendy isn't like Red. She's a good person that was simply corrupted by power. She didn't deserve to be stuck in the middle of my problems and I make sure to apologize for that, but we both know deep down that things aren't that simple. They never are.
Who knows how much longer it would've taken T.K. to get me out of the T.P's grasp without her... if he could have even done that at all without her.
(("It would've still been doable, but much more difficult as my reach couldn't escape the outside of their HQ without someone acting as a conduit. Luring another agent into a trap and completely controlling them through a force fusion with the core of P.T.K. would've been necessary, and not being caught in while making preparations would have been extremely challenging. The chances of failure with that method were... way too high for my liking."))
'But that's not how the situation played out.'
(("Yes, and with what she had going for her, she did a good enough job. However, you have to admit that her use has come to an end."))
'And you ripped on me for being cold-hearted.'
(("First of all, I don't have a heart. Second of all, look at the state she's in. If her mentality caused inefficiency for what is still one of our strongest weapons outside of yourself before, then it is worse now by an order of magnitude.
I intended for this Wendy Testaburger to become your right hand woman at the start, but she couldn't handle the intake of so much power like you and I can. She can't carry on like this, Dovah. I don't want to keep risking such a valuable asset of ours in her incapable hands."))
I can only look down to the ground while both she and T.K. finish their monologues as I know all too well what both of them mean.
"All I can say is... I'm sorry. I won't be getting better either. There's no going back for me; I'm seeing this through until the end. I can only promise to do my best to treat you better if you choose to stay with me. If you want me to remove P.T.K. and send you back to your world for good, I will do so."
I won't be doing to her what I did to Red. Wendy doesn't deserve that fate.
She's been nothing but helpful to me. She doesn't deserve my hatred.
'But... we should leave the decision to her, T.K. Give her a chance to get better instead of having all her hard work and dedication be for nothing.'
(("...Fine. But only because P.T.K. is doomed to fail anyway if everything goes according to plan."))
Wendy seems to think about this for a minute before looking me right in the eyes with determination.
"I can't give up now. If you're seeing this through to the end, then so will I. I wanted to repay you and become more like you since the start... and that hasn't changed. I know you're not a bad person regardless of what you say. I don't know about P.T.K. though... I don't want to lose myself again."
"Are you sure you want to do this? It may end up with you becoming like how you were before, or even how the Dark Angel usually is. You're a natural when it comes to manipulation after all, kind of like Cartman."
"...Am I really that bad?" She asks dejectedly after a long, silent pause.
"Manipulation isn't an inherently evil skill to have just like how nobody is bad to begin with, Wendy. It doesn't matter what world or timeline we're talking about, it doesn't change the fact that villains aren't born, they're made. Things like crappy experiences and outside influence in general usually contribute to it, but it's their choice to do what they do at the end of the day.
Let me tell you a story to get my point across. Once upon a time, there was a Wendy Testaburger who started out just like you. She lived in the same town, had the same friends, and was together with Stan, but everything changed after a certain substitute teacher arrived. This teacher stole Stan's heart, and this Wendy didn't like that one bit."
"Ms. Ellen..." Wendy mumbles to herself.
(A/N: Season 1's "Tom's Rhinoplasty")
"Yup. Now this Wendy did what you did at first. She used slander, charm, and eventually resorted to murder to deal with Ms. Ellen and get her boyfriend back. The teacher was launched into the center of the sun, Garrison went back to teaching the class, and Stan apologized for ignoring Wendy. All's well that ends well, right?
Well, this is where things changed. Instead of moving on from what happened, this Wendy realized just how stupid the boys in South Park can be, how easily manipulated they can be. This served as the catalyst for her, the major shift that changed her forever.
She could climb to the top by using her 'female charms' a certain way and that's exactly what she did. Now does this mean she became stupid? No, she was still the same intelligent girl she always was; the only difference now is that she found another way to gain power, not physically, but socially, and specifically among the boys.
Now do you remember when Bebe Stevens developed her boobs and the boys lost their fucking minds over it? That happened around two decades ago for you, so if you need a reminder on how that went, just ask."
(A/N: Season 6's "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society")
"No need. I remember becoming jealous and mocking her over it with the other girls... and eventually getting fucking breast implants to one-up her, only for it to fail miserably. That was one of the lowest points in my life. Did this Wendy do something similar?" She asks.
"Yes, but not in the way you're thinking. She never got implants, she didn't need them. Instead, she did the exact opposite of what Bebe did when that happened. Instead of becoming insecure about her looks and either attempting to hide from or stop the boys, this Wendy flaunted her natural beauty, making all the boys go crazy over her.
She wore tons of makeup, she changed her outfit, she let her hair run wild along with the rest of her instead of staying prim and proper, she made sure that every head would turn her way when she walked by, and the other girls weren't too thrilled about this change in her. They insulted her behind her back and ostracized her at first, but she didn't care. She didn't need the other girls anymore, not when she had all the boys worshiping her."
"It's like when the other girls went through that stupid spoiled whore fad, right?" She confirms.
(A/N: Season 8's "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset")
"That's right. And funny you should mention that. Once the other girls realized that their efforts did nothing and the boys didn't give a crap about them anymore, they began to act like her in an attempt to get their attention back.
All of a sudden, not a single girl in class wasn't acting like a stupid spoiled whore. The other girls all acted like this Wendy, and this Wendy was their queen, their ruler. They knew the pecking order and worshiped Wendy like the boys did. But that didn't last long thanks to, ironically enough, Paris Hilton herself.
Let's just say that this Wendy wasn't too happy about gaining a rival. The other girls in class knew their place, but the celebrity didn't and she wanted that fixed ASAP. The two fought and the other girls began to realize that this wasn't how they wanted to live. They didn't want to be like this Wendy or Paris even if that meant the boys would stop caring about them.
They decided enough was enough, and when Paris Hilton was dealt with, the victorious queen lost her kingdom, and she was not happy about that. However, she also realized that she still had a lot to learn. If she wanted the entire school to worship her again and ensure it stayed that way, she needed to get better at her quote unquote 'craft'.
And so she did, and the result of this was horrible. Thanks to her charms and manipulation, practically every guy in school ended up fighting in a massive battle royale with them all wanting Wendy for themselves, not realizing that she would never follow through with her promises. Many died as a result, but this Wendy didn't care. She succeeded in reminding everyone the kind of power and influence she holds after all.
Everyone feared her, and that fear soon turned into anger, but what could they do to stop her? Surely nobody could beat her at her own mind games, right? Not after she's gotten so good at it over the years. Well, as I said before, Wendy Testaburger isn't the only natural at this kind of thing.
It was Eric Cartman who rose against her. It was Eric Cartman who would not be charmed no matter what Wendy did. It was Eric Cartman who became the hero of this story.
Seeing what Wendy was doing over the years really made him reevaluate himself. He didn't want to become like the bitch who was tearing his town apart and only became even more determined to stop her after he lost most of his friends in the battle royale.
He lost weight, took academics seriously, and genuinely became a good person overtime. He lifted the spirits of everyone who was left after the battle royale and his popularity grew by leaps and bounds. His looks also did a complete 180 during that time and many girls wanted to date him, but he politely refused every single one of them so as to not fall into the same rabbit hole Wendy did.
Now do you remember when Cartman was chosen to do the morning announcements at school? How he wanted to take the position of Student Body President from you as well to get more power and authority?"
(A/N: Season 13's "Dances with Smurfs")
"Yeah. He did that too?"
"Ironically enough, yes. He ran against this Wendy for Student Body President and she tried everything she could to either screw him over or get him under her charm spell, but nothing worked. It was Cartman's genuine honesty and care for people that allowed him to win against Wendy's lies and manipulation, and while this position didn't really mean much on the surface, it was still a massive blow to Wendy psychologically.
She was absolutely livid to put it lightly and completely snapped like Bebe did back when she rigged that list the girls made rating all the boys' looks."
(A/N: Season 11's "The List")
"And as if there wasn't enough irony in this story already, it was Bebe that shot Wendy before she could shoot Cartman. It wasn't just to get payback on her ex-best friend, it was also because she genuinely cared about Cartman. She saw the good that he was doing and didn't want Wendy to ruin that again, and so she did what she had to do.
Things went back to the old normal after that, or at least, as close to the old normal as the town could get. Wendy died hated by everyone and Cartman was hailed as a hero, but even then, he never went back to his old self.
He continued helping others however he could and his hero work as 'The Coon' was genuine like Mysterion was back then. You could say that everyone left got their happily ever after, as they honestly did, but they never forgot what happened when Wendy was around, and they all became better people because of it."
As I finish my story, Wendy seems to be pondering my point for even telling her this to begin with. Why I slapped the concepts of several random fanfics I read and episode plots I watched together to create a seemingly random bedtime story for her (not that she knows about this part).
"Who you are or where you came from doesn't matter when it comes to this, right? Like you said before, it's your choice at the end of the day. Whether you're good, evil, or anything in between is up to you." She eventually concludes.
"That's right. It's the same concept as basic stereotypes. There are many Eric Cartmans who are evil pricks, but that doesn't mean that the entity Eric Cartman is automatically a bad person. There are many versions of him that are good as well; season 2's 'Spookyfish' proved that.
What you do is up to you, Wendy. I won't force you to choose anything and I already told you the risks involved if you stay with me. Just take some time to think about it, okay?"
"Alright, but at the very least, are there ways you can help me handle P.T.K? I don't want to remove it just yet."
"That's fine. As for that A.I. issue, I have a couple new ways for you to improve your mental capabilities so you can better control all that power. It will require some merging with your Trapper Keeper though. I won't force you to do anything, but this may very well be the only way."
Technically, that's a lie. I could just give her a copy of whatever mental abilities I want to through that instantaneous cloning surgery T.K. and I came up with a while back, but if she wants to use her Trapper Keeper again, then she needs to get by that mental hurdle herself.
"...Who am I merging with?"
"The alien, Zarganor. Green guy, milk and telepathy powers, Bradley's sworn enemy, usually wants to destroy the Earth as extra payback on Bradley."
"...Okay. I'm okay with that. What's next and what's the deal with Red? The dark angel, not the changeling."
"Things won't end the way she hopes they will. Even if I truly gave that red-headed barnacle my full support, empires will always fall eventually. What's important is doing what I always do, using the situation and my knowledge to my advantage.
This will by no means be quick and I suggest you make sure you 100% agree with this. You should go back to your original timeline at some point and talk things over with your New Kid. I don't know what will happen in the future; I haven't known for a long time. I can, however, promise that I will be completely honest with you from now on.
I'll leave you to think about it, but first, there's a couple people who are very important to me that I want you to meet. You'll be working with them a lot if you choose to stay with me so you should probably get to know them."
"Important to you? Wait... did you save your own world while we were busy fighting the patrollers?"
"Not my world... my sisters."
Wendy's POV:
"Ummm... hi girls." I give Karen and Tricia a little wave while Red gives them a "sup".
"Are you trying to build a harem or something, Dovah? I thought you were trying to avoid the classic isekai tropes." Tricia asks the completely caught off guard Dovahkiin with Red laughing her ass off right after while Dovah gives the six year old girl an over the top denial.
The two of us went to what was supposed to be my timeline's future where New Kid and a few other heroes help save Jimmy's summer camp from Nathan and the alien Zarganor guy who I have my Trapper Keeper absorb.
The telepathic abilities and mind expansion are meant to help make sure my brain doesn't overload from being connected from P.T.K. again, but it's going to take a lot more than that with tons of willpower and control on my part needed. I failed miserably last time, but the second times' the charm... or was it third?
Come to think of it, I really should have tried getting those kinds of abilities during the war. There had to be some time patrollers with helpful mental abilities.
Looks like I became too crazy and too stupid to even consider easing that burden back then. At least Dovah helped fix that issue now... at least he was willing to save me again.
Anyway, he picks up Red (after ensnaring her even more) and introduces the two of us to his timeline's Karen and Tricia once we're all done with them having pretty much become his family at this point. He seems to think so as he actually calls them his little sisters, something they don't seem to mind at all.
"I need to go and take care of a few more things myself real quick. You two can just stay here or take care of some business while I'm doing that. We'll finish the patrol right after and then take a much needed break unless you want to go after them now yourselves." He informs us.
"Awww, but we just got reunited!" Red pouts while ruffling her dark feathers.
"It'll just be for a bit, Red." Dovah defends.
"Yeah, Rebecca. You can strip him with your eyes when he gets back." I add on, being much more cheerful and confident after my talk with Dovah.
"You both are incorrigible." Red sighs.
"Oh, is the little redhead feeling left out?" I chuckle, fully embracing my role as a little shit. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll have more than enough time for you later."
"I hate you." Red growls as Tricia mutters a "Called it."
"No, you don't." I sing like a melody as Dovah sighs and leaves, leaving us four girls in his safe house.
"Soooooo, what do you guys want to do?" I then ask the two six year olds.
"We were in the middle of watching one of our big brother's fights from our own timeline. Well, it was a war rather than a fight, but most of this movie is fighting anyway." Karen informs us. One of his old fights?
Tricia notices Red and I's confusion and clarifies "He had his A.I. take some of his memories, then do some weird editing stuff to not have them be in first person through a few abilities of his and save them as videos we can watch. It even added some background music which makes things like fight scenes even cooler!"
"So they're like old home videos or something?"
"The concept is sort of similar. Dovah isn't one to let go of the past so easily despite what he claims. Besides, it doesn't hurt to remember the good times and the less good but super epic times every once in a while, right?"
Red and I end up deciding to watch as Tricia starts the video over.
"You're gonna like this one. It's movie 2 of a trilogy of films Dovah and T.K. made about the Nahkriin War."
"I don't think they know what that is, Karen." Tricia points out.
"Oh, right. Well before Butters lost his shit and completely fucked our timeline over, there was a massive war that Dovah and our timeline's Cartman waged against nearly every major group of villains out there in our world. We weren't really a part of it until the end since we had our own problems to deal with-"
"That's the understatement of the year."
"I'm just giving a quick summary, Trish. Anyway, these movies pretty much cover the war from Dovah's perspective, and it's really super cool! Not that his other fights weren't like that, like the one against the Canadian Devil or the two against ManBearPig."
"Karen still can't get through the second ManBearPig fight without crying."
"You were tearing up too!" I know what they're referring to. Dovah told me about Timmy's death at the hands or claws of ManBearPig. His world's Stan died too during that battle. That's when things really started declining for his timeline.
"Shouldn't we start with the first movie of the three?"
"The first is mainly exposition with a few small battles here and there."
"Context is super important, Tricia! And besides, you just want to see the canoe scene again."
"Oh come on, that was really fucking funny! Hey, don't give me that look, using your puppy eyes is cheating!... fine."
I later found out that the 'canoe scene' in question was one of the many warp raids Dovah did against what his sisters called the 'Antagonist Alliance' where Cartman has Dovah warp in on a small canoe half a mile away from a fleet of U.S. Navy warships that were transporting reinforcements of gingers and celebrities from various areas in Europe to the United States.
It was hollowed out and had stuff like radars and navigational systems so he knew where to fire a Prominence Burn at, but it still looked ridiculous and Dovah only went along with it since he knew it would piss his enemies off beyond belief when word spread about a fleet of warships being defeated by a small canoe.
Dovah was pretty much a humanoid dispenser of Prominence Burns during that war and it showed in Cartman's plans. For all the faults that guy has, he really is an amazing strategist. Our own war with the Time Patrol would have been a lot easier if we had someone like him commanding our armies... or the real Dovah doing so.
They would actually know how to utilize bastard children of a machine gun and atomic bomb.
Unfortunately for us, the dark angel and the changeling parading around as Dovah weren't exactly mentally stable which seriously hindered our side (and I wasn't much better). The winner of our war wasn't going to be who used the best strategies or tactics, it was who fucked up the least. That was until the real Dovah came and put a stop to it in one fell swoop.
Ironically enough, the 'Nahkriin War' Dovah had was a lot like our own, only much more one-sided until the end.
I saw him decimating ManbearPig supporters, the Super Adventure Club, the Queen Spider and most of the other authority figures in the Christian Church, the PCs, and more.
I saw him, Cartman, and Butters throw everything they had at the Ginger Separatist Movement, Legion of Doom, the Member berry-infested U.S. Government, and many more groups with them eventually cornering him.
But that didn't stop him. Even when he was pummeled into the Earth by practically every evil faction inhabiting it, he didn't stop.
Being completely mangled didn't stop him from tearing Tenorman's mech apart. Not having even an inch of skin left on his body didn't stop him from launching an energy blast powerful enough to vertically cut Mecha-Streisand in two. Losing most of his legs didn't stop him from launching an Arm-Ageddon that destroyed Mickey's Star Destroyer.
What was left of him resembled the top half of a fleshy skeleton at the climax of the war, and injuries like those should've killed him ten times over... but he just refused to fucking die and launched Ultimate after Ultimate to completely turn the tables on his enemies.
It was more than just his arsenal of regeneration abilities keep him going; it was also sheer fucking will that let him push past his limits and pull off a miracle like that.
I saw Dovah's rampage finally end when Cthulhu came into play at his full power. He fought the forces of the world and won with it taking a full-power Elder God to finally make him stay down.
And he's only improved since then.
Dovah really is amazing.
"Do you have any more of these?" I ask when we finish watching the trilogy. I never really got to see Dovah in action anywhere close to his best before and even with the powers I have now, it's still amazing to watch. Red seems to agree as she nods enthusiastically.
"Sure, we've got plenty." Tricia answers. "Strap in, simps. You're in for a wild ride."
Dovah's POV:
'They're following the script perfectly; I knew they could pull it off.' I mentally cheer my sisters on as they give our two guests their own subtext through both the movies they show and the comments they give.
It's a little concept we're borrowing from season 11's Broadway Bro Down". It's also a good learning experience for my sisters when it comes to subtle manipulation tactics.
Simply put, by the end of this makeshift Movie Night, the Dark Angel is gonna become even more drop-dead loyal to me while Wendy gets a taste of what she's in for (and what she could potentially become) if she decides to stay.
As for the risk of either 'partner' trying anything funny with my sisters during their latest practical lesson, the chances of that are basically zero, but I still have T.K. and some clones monitoring them just in case.
'Looks like they're all enjoying the show.' I then ponder to myself with a smile on my face. Wendy and Red are enjoying the movies while Karen and Tricia are enjoying the former two dancing to their tune.
I really enjoy watching this all go down.
'...But not as much as I'm going to enjoy this!' I grin while floating above Toolshit's knockoff P.T.K.
(("Wasn't he the one to weaponize a planetary Trapper Keeper first?")) Don't know, don't care.
Step 1: I use my telekinesis and various manipulation powers to remove every last bit of technology from the cyborg planet, making sure said planet stays intact too.
Step 2: I fill in all the gaps and cracks caused by Step 1 with my lesser creation and manipulation powers generating whatever dirt, stones, minerals, and other natural resources are needed, completely repairing the planet as a result. Thank you, Earth Manipulation.
Step 3: I fling the now bundled-up ball of technology that once made up Toolshit's knockoff P.T.K. (excluding the essential parts of that mechanical binder) into the nearest star.
Step 4: I use my lesser creation and summoning powers to rebuild and repopulate the now repaired planet Earth to how it was before Trapper Keeper's initial canon rampage in season 4.
Step 5: I leave Toolshit both a newely-restored Trapper Keeper binder with the leftover essential parts from Step 3 (with it having some slight alterations in its programming to make it not go apeshit on humanity again) and a little message for when Toolshit inevitably comes back here, wondering what the fuck happened to his knockoff P.T.K, the latter of which is as follows:
I reprogrammed your reprogrammed Trapper Keeper so it can actually do some good for people. I even repaired and repopulated the world it so mercilessly destroyed in its vicious quest for power. You're welcome.😁
-Dovah
(("Now that's just petty, even for you.")) And also funny. Make sure you get some Dragon Drones to record his reaction, okay?
(("I already have them set up. Don't forget that I hate that guy as much as you do."))
I also entertained the idea of seeing how he likes having his best friend brainwashed and self-destruct in an attempt to kill him after being locked up in a deep, dark prison where he's unable to even move for almost half a year, but I ultimately decided to keep that revenge plan for a rainy day.
(("How Freeman managed to fit so much spite and pettiness into such a small body is something I'll never understand; it sure as hell wasn't me that did that.")) You're smart; I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
Anyway, said day probably won't be happening for a while. Canon Stan thinks that he's a black hole in the center of the galaxy and absolutely everything is always spinning around him; I'm willing to bet that this Stan has just as bad, if not worse of a self-centered problem.
Combine that with the constant adventures and issues he's likely had to deal with throughout his life and you get a guy who's expecting immediate and devastating retribution. He'll think that me ruining his planetary base is just the start and be constantly on guard 24/7, flinching at even the slightest possibility of an unstoppable force of nature tearing through everything he knows and loves.
But that's not going to happen. Not for a long time anyway.
And that's going to drive him absolutely fucking insane.
Trolololo lololo lololo
Now where was I? Right, making sure my sisters are alright watching home videos with the dark angel and human-ad hybrid which, in reality, is a test for them to alter our guest's perception of me in a certain way.
And then making a very important stop on my trip through memory lane.
(("You really have done quite a lot, haven't you?"))
'I guess. If I were to write a novel or something about my time here, it would easily be over a hundred chapters so far.' I talked with T.K. as we headed on over to the timeline past New Kid lives in through the EOD.
For some fucking reason (probably the God Chi stolen acting up somefuckinghow), TimeFart Summon simply refuses to work ever since the battle with Young Freeman (which really wasn't that long ago; I just had a few immediate things to take care of right after while T.K. attempted, and failed, to fix the issue) so now I'm stuck doing the exact opposite of what that ability does and heading on over to the point in spacetime where he is to claim my stolen prize.
T.K. has long since analyzed the ability and knows exactly where and when this New Kid comes from, so getting there isn't an issue for him at the very least.
There is, however, an issue with that point in time, as when we get there, reality itself begins to distort.
It's not completely glitching out and/or corrupting like what the Calamity Comet did, but it is still very noticeable and very dangerous.
'Oh fuck. Did Freeman find out you outplayed him?'
(("Oh, so NOW it's me?")) Was it not you?
As everything in sight begins to change before my eyes, I sigh before powering up into my god form.
"Alright, Freeman. If you want Past New Kid, you'll have to go through me! Time for Round Goddamn 3, you freckle-obsessed asshole!" I declare, preparing myself for quite possibly the toughest battle I'll ever have to face... but nothing happens.
I wait for him to show up... but he never does.
Did he just blitz by me or something?
(("Perhaps he isn't even here."))
"What do you mean?" I ask the A.I. inside my head.
(("I mean that you may be blaming the wrong person for this."))
"What? The hell do you mean by... oh. Oooohhhhhh, shit. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
(("BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!"))
"SHIT!!!"
I'm gonna guess 'bad thing'.