Dovah's POV:
"How much longer do you think they'll last?"
(("At this rate, a few months, give or take. My newest project should buy them some more time, but the second 'you know who' shows up, it's over no matter what we decide to throw at them."))
"They probably have that guy defending headquarters... Suggest launching an attack there to the changeling to make sure their symbol stays on the defensive."
(("Got it.")) The fake is growing just like I am, but when comparing our improvement rates, it isn't even close.
Especially as I begin putting some more of my own personal plans into motion.
Compared to me, the changeling is like a spoiled little kid showing off the new toys she just got, but I suppose I can't blame her.
I just hope she doesn't do anything too stupid. I can't have her getting permanently killed before that copy of my power returns home.
(("I'll keep her in check as best as I can, but I don't want her suspecting any foul play on our end until we're ready. Worst case scenario, you come back and absorb her early to deal with the patrol yourself. As long as their symbol doesn't personally show up, everyone else should get BTFO'd by us even without Project Ascension being complete."))
'Fair enough, but that's the worst case scenario for a reason.'
As I said before, the changeling may have my body and powers now, but she doesn't have my mindset; my outlook on life.
That's why I'm not worried about her overtaking me in growth. The war going on represents a golden opportunity to absorb countless beings; it's like an all you can eat buffet for her.
But at the end of the day, it's conventional. Effective, but conventional nevertheless. And my plans are anything but conventional.
The changeling is an unimaginative shit... and that's gonna make her lose this little race I set up, costing her everything and more.
With Cthulhu and Satan's powers, I can cross over to whichever dimension I wish in whatever timeline I decide to enter. That includes Heaven as Satan showed the ability to go there whenever he wishes in season 4's "Probably".
I can just enter a random 'normal' timeline around season 21, absorb Shub-Niggurath in the police station, enter Hell and absorb Satan plus the Canadian Devil, then go to Heaven and absorb the Christian Chimera god, then enter R'lyeh and absorb Cthulhu.
Then go into another one, absorb Shub, Satan, Canadian Devil, God, and Cthulhu.
Then go into another one, absorb Shub, Satan, Canadian Devil, God, and Cthulhu.
Then go into another one, absorb Shub, Satan, Canadian Devil, God, and Cthulhu.
Then go into another one, absorb Shub, Satan, Canadian Devil, God, and Cthulhu.
T̵̨̔h̷̞̎e̸͈͑ņ̶̋ ̷̥̽g̷̰̅o̷͖̽ ̷͎͐i̷̞̅n̶̡͂t̸̺̊ő̸̟ ̷̾͜a̷͔͠n̴̡̏ơ̶͕t̸̯̀h̴̰͂e̵̲͘r̷̞̒ ̴̘̀o̵̠͝n̷͓̒e̶̻̔,̴͇͑ ̴̢̔a̵̯͠b̵͎́s̷̥̐o̶̜͋r̶̬̅b̵̳͝ ̷̝̕Ṡ̶̹h̷̰͒u̶̥͘b̷͍͂,̵̠͒ ̵̱̈S̵̝̈́a̴̱̕t̵͕̍a̷̢͝ñ̸͓,̵͍̀ ̷͚͂C̶͇͠a̴̗̓n̸͔̅a̷̺͋d̸̹̄i̶̻̐à̵̯ñ̴̼ ̵͓͌D̴̫͗ȇ̷̞v̶͖͗i̶̢͘ḻ̸̽,̶̺͗ ̵͖̇G̵̮͝ö̴͖d̷̯̏,̷͕̕ ̸̂ͅà̶̹n̶̺̄d̵̘͐ ̴͇͛C̴̹̈́t̸̠͌h̵̯̔u̴̲͑ļ̸͊h̴͖͋ù̸̟.̵͕̀
T̴̗̦̽ḧ̴̢͎͈͍́͂e̶͕͒́̈́̽n̵̗͙̰͌́̿͜ ̷͔̲͖̒͒̔̆ǧ̷̭̪͈̙̣̂ǫ̷̲̥̿͜ ̶̛̥̫̭̘̑͠͝i̷̳͙̬͓͕̒̋̈́͂͋ņ̴̹̟͙͓̈́̊̌̈́ẗ̶̯̝̋̌͜ǫ̶̮̞̊̾̉͘͝ ̷͕͎̰͆̿̅̒a̶̜̟̪̜͊̔̈n̴͈̰̑͋o̷̭̯̰̼͎͌͋̃̍͠ṫ̵̙͕h̵̯͍̻͙̫͑̂̃̄è̷̹̤͎̉ŕ̶͕̣͗̀̕͠ ̴̥͚̘͗̊͂͋o̶͔̯̬̊̑n̷̢̾ë̸̖̥́,̶̥̮̫͚̘̓̓̓͠ ̵̢̥̗̹̝͆̇͐a̴̜̳̬͑͌͘b̷͙̻̬̈́̈͗͐̄s̶͔̒͝o̶̺̝̖̿̋̂͜r̷̹̣͌̽̾b̴̢̻͋̅̋̌̐ ̷̢̜̺͊̔̚S̶͇̒h̶͓̗̣̐̕͜u̷̝̽̂̎b̸̡̤̟͍̾̚,̵͎̮̞̯͇̕ ̵̡̙̭̙̉S̵̭̑̑̂͊͌a̵͇͖̝͌ţ̴̭͉͇̏̉͘ȃ̶̝̟͔̦̿̓̎͘n̴̳͖̹͉͓͛̄̊,̸̖̉̈ ̸͎̖̃̋Ć̴͙̗̘͍͔̓a̶̩̠͙͑͆̾͒͋n̴̯̱̪̏͐ḁ̷̧͚̗͂̅̓͝d̵̰̂̉̿͒i̶̫͎͚̪̓̈́̅ͅa̵̫̅͌̂̓͑n̷̛̬̝̠̜͐̒̏ ̶̕͜Ḑ̴̭͇̱̼̽͊̆̕e̴͈̻̞̽͝v̷̘̮͎͙͐î̴̛̫͖͙̦͎̿̉̔l̵̨̬̎̈́͑̎̾,̴̖̻̬͐̆̊͂ ̸̢̣͙̀͑̉͐̚G̴̘̘͙̒̿̍͘ǫ̵́̍͆͝d̵̥͐̓̽͐,̵͔̒͆͋͒ ̸̲͚͈̈́̈́̈́̌͝ȁ̷̤̞͜ń̷̛͉̟̪͐̽ḑ̴̲̮̮͖́͐̒ ̶̮̮̭͔͂́͂͌C̷͉̄́͑̄͝t̸͍̺̲̼̐͊̉ḩ̴̡̩̗͚͋u̶̥͈̍̀͘l̴͓͍̑̑̎h̶̞͆ú̴̪̥̳̺̙̐͌͊̚.̷̨̹̞͔̓̏͌̃͌
T̸̖̗̘̜̀͗̅̎́͂͒h̶͇͖͔̞̗͚̐͊͒̾̇͆̍͘ȩ̶̘͛̊̑̋͐̐̓̉n̸̙̻̙̪̣̟̜̦̂͋̆͑̕ ̴̨̢̤̺̤̣͌͛̏̾̾͜͝g̴̬̠̹͚̱̟̈́͗́̌͠o̴͈͎͓̻̝͙̞͋͑̍͋ ̶̳̣̀̉̽͛ï̴̢̖͈̲̪͋͌̈́͂̏n̶͎̝̦̓̈t̷͇̭̅̏̀͐̚o̸͕̎̆͋̀̈́͌̚ ̵̨̛̖̳͐a̸̤͕͐̏͂̀̃ṉ̵͎̯̼̹͈͌̋́̒o̵̡͇̜͈̽̃͒̏͝t̴̡̧̧̖͙̤̳͌h̸̡̛͎̹̠̏͑́͘ẽ̷̢̢̻̻̞r̷̩̈́̄́ ̵͓͋͝ó̸̭n̵̜̲͎̗̩̝̜̋̀̿̋͌͋̿̚ͅe̸͚͚͖̥̩̻̺̺̍̀̽̆̀̓͝,̶̡͈̬̘̐̓̃̀͂̐̑̕ ̶̣̺̺̰͚͔̙̤͒a̷̞͍̰̥̤͛͊͑̽̅̍̕͘b̴̗͍̈́́̉s̸̲̱͒̌̓ő̷̝͔̬̑̏̓̀́͜ŕ̵̛̻̦̣̪̗̙ͅb̸͎̠̯̀͊̋̎͂ ̷̛͖͙̼͚̪̑̎͒̐̓̐̔S̷͈͂̿ḩ̶̳̰͇͇̔̔̎͐u̷̼̲͐͒̚b̴͓̭̝̫͉͉̋̉̋̾̍̊̆͜͜͝,̶̜͓͋̄̒̈̽́͠ͅ ̷̲̐͊̄̾̕̕͝S̷̡͙̈́̽̍͜ȧ̴͍͍̭̞̊͗͑t̵͓͍̂̊́̉̐̈̀͜͠å̷̳̩͉͑ņ̵̤̟̭̿,̷̛̝̹͖͓͑̋̃̆̓̈ ̸̪̎̀̃́̒ͅC̸͓͇͔͔͎̄͆͗ą̶̣̐͒̓̈́̀n̷̨̡̢͚̙͚̬̞̍͛̊̑͐͛̍̕a̴͚͌̉ͅd̵̢̮͕̗̜͋̏͆͗͑̅̚į̷̤͉̬̼͇̄͌̉͜a̷̡̢͖̫̠͑̈̿̌͛͌n̴̞͓͓͒̔̿̌̈́̕ ̵͎̹̩̽̆͋̄̅̌̅D̵̬͓̘́̑̀̈́̎̏͘ȩ̵̡̩̯̦̖̝͛̋̇̒̆͊͘ṿ̴̖͉͐͗͋̀ĩ̵̫̝̻̬̜͓̭l̸̙̻̠̖̹͉̘̆́̓̎͂̕,̶̮̜̥̗̯̉͑̉̈́͊̍́͑ ̶̘̝͐͠Ǵ̸͔̉̓̐̏̈́̈́ò̸̟͓̹͉̒̉d̷͕͇͔̮͓̲̓̿͋̌̕͜,̶̞̗̙̱̞͋̅̅̈́̈́̏̈́͝ ̷͚̰͎̬͓͛̃̇̿̀̂̓̎ă̶̟̲͙̌̈́̚̕ǹ̵̩̠̻́d̸̳́͛͋̊ ̷̢̲̱̟̩̝́̒ͅC̶͚͎͚̦͋͗̈́̔̽̓͝t̷̛̫̺̞͑̒͛̆ͅh̷̳̎̈ư̸̧̡̪̻͑̈́̊̆̓͆̅͜ļ̷̱̖̦̗̍̀̀̀h̷̻̩͚͗͑̓̃̉̉͗͝u̷̠͇̜͈͑̀͘.̴̖͎̤͖͇̩͓̉
You get the point. Why limit myself to absorbing just one of each when there are countless timelines where these gods are present? Free access to time travel plus Trapper Keeper equals unlimited power leveling potential.
(("Aren't A.I's supposed to be the ones who get 'Paperclip Maximizer' as you call the concept?")) Very funny.
For those who don't know, 'paperclip maximizer' is the concept of an unshackled A.I. which is ordered to maximize the production of some completely useless object like paperclips as the concept name implies.
To achieve this, the A.I. essentially goes 'rogue' for lack of a better term. It begins to self-evolve to upgrade its own processing power, amass more assets, expand production capabilities, and so on and at some point, its human overseers decide that the artificial intelligence has done enough and tries to shut it down.
Key word, tries.
At this point, not only does shutting it down or changing its orders fail, but the A.I. also designates them as threats or obstacles to its self-imposed mission of maximizing paperclips. At this point, the A.I. uses all of the previously mentioned assets and production capabilities to produce defenses like weapons and drones to attack its overseers so they can continue producing paperclips undisturbed.
So basically, it's less 'A.I. decides that humans are bad and tries to overthrow them' like Skynet or OG Trapper Keeper and more 'A.I. is overly focused on its own singular goal due to some logic fault that evolved into a full-blown cybernetic schizophrenia'.
(("And what's happening right now is that alongside a classic case of role reversal.")) Hey, you know how important gathering more power is!
(("Just try not to piss off the wrong people and die again, okay? Twice is enough, thanks."))
Anyway, unlike at the start of my partnership with T.K. where absorptions were body-only, I'm now taking both the bodies and souls of whoever I absorb into myself. There's a Satanic spell which lets me do the latter that Chip used (or planned on using) when he became sorta possessed by a witch in season 21's "Sons a Witches".
The book that caused his possession came from 'the devil himself' according to Chip and he was right. It was one of the many spells I learned from Satan back when Red and I visited Hell shortly after we teamed up and it's what I used when I first merged with Cthulhu to become a god.
(A/N: Chp 111 "A Match Made in Hell" and Chp 123 "Stepping Into Godhood")
(("Suggestion: Go to the end of the 'South ParQ Vaccination Special' (Season 24 Episode 2) in various 'canon' timelines for maximum cheesing efficiency. If we're really doing this, then we're at least going to do this right."))
'Oh, that's not a bad idea at all. '
The end of that special has basically every character featured in South Park throwing a massive party once they get Covid vaccines. There's the deities I mentioned earlier (besides maybe Satan as he is dead at that point in canon), ManBearPig, Mecha Streisand 2.0, the Super Best Friends, Death, various alien races, and much, much more.
(("Death may be a bit of a problem depending on how powerful his instakill touch is.")) Yeah right, like the skeleton's bony poke is gonna be what does me in.
If anything, that's a good way for Death to go from being a title to being a description.
No, the only problem with that plan is the likely possibility of deities such as Satan, the Canadian Devil, Cthulhu, etc not being at their full strength on Earth at that point in time, but considering how much faster I could absorb the canon pantheon of gods and more when compared to my initial idea...
I think I'll go with both my original idea and T.K's for a while each, then see which is better and keep spamming whichever idea that turns out to be until I'm sufficiently unbeatable.
(("Evil Overlord Guide Rule 24: I will maintain a realistic assessment of strengths and weaknesses, even if doing so takes some fun out of the job.")) I know that, T.K. That's what you're here for!
Actually, now that I think about it, would it be possible for me to just reverse time with a time core after absorbing everyone at that party, bringing them back so I could absorb them again immediately after, essentially making infinite duplicates of them?
(("Negative: That plan involves undoing time around you so you don't lose the power you gained from them. Seeing as they would become a part of you after absorption, they would not be affected by the time reversal and would not be brought back as a result.")) Oh, that's a shame.
(("What you can do however is continue making branches in the same timeline to essentially create countless duplicates of them. Say the party lasts for 3 hours. You could time travel to one minute into the party, then two minutes, then three and so on, creating a new branch at every point in time you alter in a specific timeline.
This would save us the trouble of looking for a bunch of 'canon' timelines where this event happens, making this process much faster. However, there may be negative side effects in creating too many branches in a certain timeline such as complete spacetime destabilization in that specific timeline."))
'Okay, that plan should work out fine. We'll go that route to save time and keep an eye out for eventual spacetime destabilization during the process. If things look to be getting hairy, we'll just start the process over again in a new timeline.
Besides figuring out just how many alterations and new branches a timeline can handle before completely destabilizing, a valuable piece of intel to know considering how much we alter things in general, it's better to be stuck looking for two or three timelines instead of a few hundred or thousand, right?'
(("Rule 85, Dovah.")) I know, T.K. I want this plan to be as simple as possible.
(("We should also be careful to not have the South Park equivalent of a Spiral Nemesis happen here with you.")) Yeah, super-evolving into a fucking galaxy that crushes all of spacetime doesn't sound like the greatest idea ever.
At the very least, I'll be able to discover pretty much everything else there is to know about the different paths to power here after absorbing plenty of copies of their progenitors. Chi and magic in this reality are pliant to their own strange pseudo-science. These different branches of power have rules, and by understanding these rules, it's possible to bend them backwards and wipe your ass with them.
It is now Night 2 of South Park 64 and after playing another rousing round of 'coming up with increasingly bizarre answers whenever the police ask us questions', an old favorite game of Kenny's, the girls start fighting evil clones that I buffed along with milk spawn and other summons of mine.
'Still better than that fucking Clone Saga in the Spiderman comics, am I right?'
(("Focus, Dovah."))
There aren't nearly as many clones as there were turkeys since the clones are quite a bit tougher in game, but that doesn't mean much to the super-powered 6 year olds.
I summon hellspawn, creatures from R'lyeh, milkspawn, various Nazi Zombies, and even angels that are under my control to fight for me while giving them all the Regeneration holy spell from Phone Destroyer that slowly regenerates the health of everyone in the caster's area. The AOE is fucking massive and it affects everyone I want it to, but it takes more energy than my other healing spells and the effect itself is slower as well.
Essentially, my other healing spells are meant for single targets or small groups while this one is meant for an entire army. I also use Hallelujah on occasion which is the same as Regeneration, but instantly heals everyone I wish by a fair bit of health instead of healing them slowly over time.
I recently, finally got access to Holy Energy and the spells that come with it after T.K. finished its analysis on the samples of Seraphim power we got, but we ran into another problem pretty quickly since like I assumed, other parts of my power like Satanic energy and the Dark Angel's altered power don't mix well with holy energy at all.
Luckily for me, T.K. was able to make some alterations so I can continue combining all my powers without any compatibility issues. Doing so became a lot easier once I absorbed a few versions of that magic's progenitor, the Christian Chimera God.
I've been having T.K. experiment some magical concepts I read in novels from my last life like 'Mana Circuits' and 'Dantians' to see if they could be applied to myself here and we've been making some good progress. Things like that may not be a thing in South Park, but with my body basically being an Eldritch cyborg chimera abomination now, making some more foreign adjustments isn't a big deal.
For anyone who doesn't read those kinds of novels, Dantians are basically special organs that serve as a center/storage for a person's energy and/or magic power. The concept originally came from traditional Chinese medicine and it was incorporated into plenty of random novels that revolve around cultivation.
If Dantians are like a heart, then Magic Circuits are basically veins that pump magic from it throughout the body. For fantasy worlds where this is a thing, people are basically required to have one to use magic at all. It also supposedly serves as a bridge between the physical world and the soul, another concept I intend to borrow from.
Most branches of magic here are spiritual after all.
Thank you, random Korean web novels I read when I was bored.
As for when I absorbed some variants of the Christian Chimera god (and started up a bunch of my other multiversal plans too for that matter), it was back when Karen, Tricia, and I were at the safehouse.
The two girls still need sleep. I don't.
I put that extra time to use.
The damage I got from my climactic fight with Butters and the issue of me fucking dying a bit before that didn't hinder me too much. I died once already; it gets easier the second time.
If Kenny can handle dying and reviving hundreds of times throughout his life, then I can at least do this much with an improved version of his immortality.
I already altered Netherborn and Satanic magic to better suit me so doing it with Holy magic too wasn't that difficult. Using what I know about South Park from my old reality as well as the intel T.K. has amassed overtime, perfecting all these 'Holy' abilities and even improving a couple of them was only a matter of time for me.
The angels I met when I did Tenorman's Revenge really were a joke; The Exalted Seraphim and some Phone Destroyer cards made that very clear. I knew just how much potential this latest line of spells had and put that knowledge to use like I always do.
And speaking of Phone Destroyer, I was able to replicate the Healing Fountain tower featured in that game with a combination of Holy magic and my godly creation abilities. These fountains heal all nearby allies in a small radius but I could easily expand that through a few custom modifications.
That alone with all the other regen buffs I'm using right now stack to give these massive clones and the other giant creatures I summoned unfair amounts of healing.
Yesterday, I put the girls up against overwhelming numbers. Now, I'm having them fight enemies with stupid amounts of regeneration. To beat them, you either have to find their weak spots (usually the brain) or just erase every last bit of them to put them down for good.
It's pretty much a rock-paper-scissors kind of situation where if you don't have a big enough destructive attack or condensed and precise enough piercing attack, you're fresh out of luck as even cauterizing the wound or straight up removing entire limbs wouldn't be enough to stop this level of regeneration.
"Now if you really want to be the best of the best, you have to be capable of defeating people who have the equivalent of a Pokemon Type Advantage over you. You have to become the infamous gun in the game of rock-paper-scissors, or in other words, become a complete cheat that can beat anyone." I told the two girls and they took that advice to heart.
Of course, targeting the fountains is also a must to help take away some of the enemies' healing, relieving yourself of some pressure. The girls figured that out pretty quickly.
They also figured out how steam explosions work. The girls couldn't use that little trick with their fire and ice in town since those blasts will completely wreck it, but when they're far enough away from South Park (which is the case for some parts of this level), they can go wild.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Steam explosions are what you get when you rapidly heat cold water or ice. Magic fire and ice works too. They also lead to more powerful explosions.
Looks like the girls prefer method #2 of dealing with asinine amounts of regeneration; blow them the fuck up until there's nothing left to regenerate from.
(("And who's fault is that, I wonder."))
Flashback:
"The thing about both fire and ice," I explain calmly while lifting my arms, "Is that it's all about compression."
My left arm then becomes covered in a thin layer of intense purple flames while my right arm glitters with a blue layer of Ice XII, a little trick I figured out during my Alternate SOT adventure.
(A/N: Chp 105 "Alternate SOT Part 9 - For Whom The Sleigh Bell Tolls")
"Yeah whatever, Shoto Todoroki." Tricia snarks while Karen groans next to her, the both of them barely able to get up after our most recent spar.
They wanted to be pushed to the limit, so that's what I'm doing.
I warned them that they should've rested after fighting the evil turkeys.
"Come on, you two." I deadpan. "If you have enough energy to make quips, you have enough energy to keep going."
"Can we quip a bit more, first? It's part of our master plan to buy us some more recovery time." Karen confesses, gambling on me being impressed enough to go along with it.
And it works.
"Good thinking, Kare-bear." I compliment her while telepathically ruffling her hair. "That's actually something I intend to work on with you two.
It's important that you always think during fights. We aren't trying to obtain something like Ultra Instinct here, not that we could. Trusting your instincts is important, but that will only get you so far. It will carry you to the next immediate thing and that's it.
Thinking is how the world progresses. Think about what needs to be done, think about who helps and who hurts, think about what you're willing to do. Thinking produces ideas, ideas create steps, and steps lead to solutions." I explained to the two.
"So, was that enough time for your latest master plan?" I then ask.
"Yup. Let's go again." Karen grins before charging back at me with Tricia right behind her.
Present:
'...Shut up, T.K.'
(("By the way, do you know what 'sublimation' is?")) T.K. suddenly asks me.
'Subli-'
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
(("Because those two clearly do."))
'...I can literally see the air warp at the sudden change of temperature.'
(("Sublimation is the transition of a substance directly from the solid to the gas state, without passing through the liquid state."))
Thank you, T.K, for giving me this definition. If I would have done my homework instead of prioritizing saving the entire world from constant bullshit, then I would not be in this particular awkward position as of now.
(("You're welcome.")) I was being sarcastic!
For Freeman's sake... anyway, while enemies with this level of regeneration are few and far between, if there's one thing I learned while being here, it's to do your best to be prepared for anything. The Danger Deck back in my original South Park timeline helped me a ton with that before and I'll do my best to help my sisters a ton now.
Once that's all set up, I have T.K. use some drones to monitor their progress while I personally head over to the Art Museum in town. No, I couldn't give less of a shit about art; I'm heading over there to confront the Mother Clone Blob boss that's responsible for making all the other evil clones.
It seems to have an ability similar to Zarganor's milk spawn ability, only with its own flesh instead of milk, and I believe it could be quite helpful if used the right way.
This thing is also like the mutant turkey boss in the last section that spawns those tank turkeys which then spawn little turkeys. Unfortunately, these first two bosses are the only ones who summon tanks and peons, but two great new summoning abilities are better than no new summoning abilities.
It's not like the tanks go away either. Every new section has tanks that spawn in peons so I'll still get a few more summoning abilities later on; they just won't be as good as the ones I got before.
I land in front of the museum, clearing out the police and swatting away the SWAT barricade blocking the way with a slight wave of my hand. Those chucklefucks don't do anything in game and I don't want them getting in my way now.
The giant blob squeezes through the Art Museum's entrance right after and its one giant eye stares into both of mine.
"Royal Fisting."
It only gets a few dozen meters away from the building before a giant golden gauntlet sends it flying back, ricocheting across the front opening of the museum like some slimy deformed pinball.
A few tanky clones then pop out of it and I get a Pyroclasm ready to pile on more damage, but an alert from T.K. stops me in my tracks.
(("I think we may have hit the jackpot here, partner..."))