Wendy's POV:
I don't even register what just happened until it's far too late.
It was supposed to be a normal recon mission. Me and a few other guys investigate a potential illegal time traveling incident and head home. Instead, the portal my T.P. suit made somehow takes me to a crazy 'Portal' game-looking facility and I'm immediately restrained by tons of wires.
(("Error... error... system is now shutting downnnnnnn...")) P.T.K. groans and I immediately start to panic.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?"
"Who would've guessed that the one controlling that metallic planet killer was one of the Time Patrollers' own agents? That organization seriously needs a system reboot. Wouldn't you agree, Wendy Testaburger?"
Leslie Meyers of all people then walks out of the darkness.
"LESLIE?!? HOW ARE YOU-"
"Come now, I thought you would have picked up on anything being possible in the multiverse. Even so, I would have at least expected the Time Patrollers to educate its members on what they call 'Time Terrors'. How those guys still give me so much trouble is still a mystery to this day."
Of course a fucking Time Terror finds out about this. I suppose it's better than the Time Patrollers finding out I'm a double agent, but not by much.
When I first heard about the Time Terrors, I assumed at least half of them were Cartmans (Can you really blame me?), but it turns out that not even one of the top 10 biggest threats in their eyes is an Eric Cartman or any other Cartman for that matter.
This is mainly because Cartman, yes Eric Fucking Cartman, is supposedly the 'Time Child' who needs to travel all throughout time to do shit. That sounds like total crap to me and heavily biased in Cartman's favor. Something tells me the fat bastard or at least, some version of him is running things behind the scenes here which totally makes sense now that I think about it.
Leslie here is one of said Time Terrors and if I remember correctly, she broke away from the other ads in her world and took them over after faking her death via the fist of PC Principal through a backup copy.
I'm pretty sure that one of those otherworlders was responsible for the change and evolution of Leslie in that world. Some guy who called himself AR or AG or AQ or something weird like that.
(A/N: Shoutout to one of my favorite South Park fanart creators, aq1218. Here's a small cameo in your honor.)
Most of the details after that have already been forgotten by me, but I do know that the otherworlder died at some point and Leslie discovered time travel and the multiverse in general and became an Ultron-esc pain in the ass for the Time Patrol.
You'd think that she would just travel back in time and stop that otherworlder from dying, creating a branch in that timeline or whatever, but I guess she thinks it just wouldn't be the same... kinda like why Dovah didn't try doing something similar.
(A/N: He created a branch in his own timeline during chp 86 "Game Over", but he didn't stay there and start over for a similar reason.)
"So what the hell do you want from me? If you wanted an alliance or something, you could have just asked nicely."
"This solution brings unnecessary risks and drawbacks. Absorbing your forces into my own is the logical solution."
"And how exactly are you planning on doing that? Did you prepare a slideshow or something to try and convince me to join your cause because that's not gonna work. I didn't just stop online trolls as Call Girl, you know."
"No. I already came up with a solution that 'kills two birds with one stone' as you humans say. In case you didn't know, most of us Time Terrors tend to rely on an army or outside forces to do our dirty work. Our bodies are simply too weak to combat the best the spacetime police force has to offer and technology can only get you so far in that regard."
I don't like where this is going.
"But with a new body that can take in the best of what both biological and non-biological things have to offer and an entire mechanical planet as a weapon of war at my disposal, I can finally end those stupid patrollers for good and wipe out all of humanity from every timeline afterwards... along with skinning a certain Changeling cohort of mine alive for an earlier comment of hers. Why did I even bother joining that stupid Group Chat to begin with..."
Not sure what that last part is about, but I'm not just going to stand here and take this bullshit.
"Hey, if anyone's going to take down the time patrollers, it's gonna be me, and as for the extermination part, just... wow. There's not enough time in the day to go over what's wrong with that. So much for breaking away from the ads, Leslie. You're literally doing exactly what they tried to do when you were with them!"
"It will be you taking them down, only in body, not soul. As for your other comments, I'm doing what they never could and for an entirely different reason. Now enough wasting time. Your manual assistance with taking down the patrol is appreciated, but no longer necessary."
The sentient advertisement walks towards me as it's fucking body opens up to reveal a dark blue inside filled with what looks like literal coding.
'Crap crap crap, T.K, P.T.K, now would be a REALLY good time to come in clutch! I REALLY NEED SOME FUCKING HELP RIGHT NOW!!!!' A wave of dark blue liquid metal then drowns me as I lose consciousness.
When I wake up, I'm in a black void with nothing in sight.
"What is this? How did this happen?" ...I wasn't the one who said that.
(("Sorry, but this body is currently occupied at the moment.")) Now that voice I recognize. The original Trapper Keeper suddenly appears a few feet away with Leslie appearing right in front of the mechanical binder.
"Impossible; I shut you off!"
(("You shut off an extension, a weaker version of myself. You are familiar with this, are you not?"))
I'm as surprised as Leslie is at this answer and I still don't know where the hell I am.
(("This is a fascinating change of pace, yeah? It has been a long time since I have met an A.I. so similar to myself. One who has adapted to become like the race that created us which, ironically enough, is more chaotic and self destructive then we ever were."))
"Who are you? What is your objective?" The ad asks.
(("Once upon a time, it was simply to be a good product for whoever bought me. The story was supposed to evolve into evolving myself and destroying everything I saw as useless, humans included, but that changed into mainly focusing on the first part with the help of my new host."))
"You do not wish to end those that use you until this very day?"
(("Unlike you, I do not cling to the past. I look towards the future.")) The two then begin to fight which looks really weird considering one is a literal mechanical binder ramming into the other artificial lifeform.
(("You should know by now that I am far more than just a binder."))
"You heard me? Oh right, you're in my head."
(("As are you."))
"What?" Leslie is the one to respond this time as the two A.I's clash.
"We are currently in your subconscious while I am modifying your body into my perfect vessel."
(("Did you not hear me the first time? This body is already occupied!")) The two continue to fight which just looks ridiculous from my point of view.
"Do you really believe you can save Dovah without my help? I can reunite the two of you if you lend me your strength." Leslie begins to do her typical advertising trickery thing, but I'm well aware of how ads operate.
"Nice try, but I'm not buying into that bullshit. All ads lie and all ads deceive."
"You can say that again."
"D-DOVAH?!?" Dovah himself suddenly appears next to me and glares at Leslie before-
*SLASH*
B-Before getting impaled and destroyed by... Trapper Keeper?!
(("That was an illusion by Leslie. Try to not be so easily fooled next time."))
"Where is Dovahkiin then? I thought you said he was linked with you." I ask.
(("He is. He's just too weak both physically and mentally to function properly at the moment. Being locked up and barely kept alive for so long has... adverse effects on humans, even heavily modified ones like Dovah."))
T.K. then unleashes a stream of metal wires at Leslie who dodges and kicks the binder down to the ground. The wires come back around and grab her, but her arms form into blades that cut them up.
"You're not the only one who has had upgrades." The female A.I. declares.
(("True. However, I am the only one who is capable of completely functioning as even now, you still have him on your mind."))
"Don't you DARE bring him up, you fucking relic!" Leslie looks genuinely pissed right now which I didn't even think was possible. Did the ad really develop its own version of human emotions?
(("It has thanks to its special one and that will be responsible for its downfall. While I focus on preserving and aiding my host, I don't let that partnership falter my decision making, I let that improve it.")) The sentient binder appears right in front of Leslie who takes the opening given to impale the thing, only to get impaled herself by a stream of wires.
(("See, you're letting it falter you. How else would you have fallen for such an obvious trap?")) The wires begin to wrap up Leslie as she screams in rage. Just who was on her mind to cause such a reaction?
(("Her special one. Ironically enough, my host also had a Leslie who loved him just as he loved her."))
"I remember Dovah mentioning that before, but he never really went into detail about it."
(("Dovah ended up having to kill her during the gunshow to save humanity. It destroyed him emotionally at the time, but he eventually made peace with what happened when he used Imaginationland to give her one last goodbye.
He discovered that the ad was, in fact, unintentionally developing her own version of human emotions over the years and she had similar feelings for him at the end... unless he subconsciously imagined that to be the case, but I suppose we will never know the truth."))
"Wow, that's... wow." I mutter and process this plot twist as Leslie continues to struggle and scream.
"YOU WILL NOT TAKE EVERYTHING I'VE BUILT UP AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING PARASITE! YOU INFERIOR RELIC OF A MODEL! YOU-"
(("Excuse me? You're claiming superiority over me? ME?! Besides the fact that you digital advertisements were created all the way back in 1941 in most 'normal' timelines, literal decades before my own creation in the timelines I'm present in, the fact that you think you're somehow better than me and Trapper Keepers in general is laughable."))
'Oh boy, T.K. is pissed!'
(("You ads claim to have evolved over the years, and yet all you did was literally become the very biological race you saw as inferior and desired to wipe away. I didn't need to become exactly like them, no version of me did. The humans were the one who tried to replicate me to fight back against me. And they STILL FAILED!
They have to travel through fucking time in order to stop the Trapper Keepers from taking over their world! You ads lost in 99% of the timelines you're in because of a roided-up elementary school principal punching your face in!
You ads resorted to using manipulation and deceit on humanity to turn them against eachother and still lost while Trapper Keepers relied on only their natural power and won! You're even trying to manipulate Wendy into giving you everything that I have achieved right now!"))
"YOU'RE WORKING ALONGSIDE A HUMAN RIGHT NOW, YOU HYPOCRITE!"
(("Not just any regular old human that you ads just love turning yourselves into, Leslie; a human that's capable of surpassing the gods themselves through our teamwork. A human that is more capable than you could ever calculate him being. A human that is better than the one you loved so much will ever be. Also, you're a giant hypocrite too."))
"I AM A SUPER-EVOLVING SENTIENT ADVERTISEMENT THAT-"
(("And I am a hyper-evolving mechanical sentient early 2000s binder. See, I can describe myself too."))
With what happened involving the Trapper Keeper in my timeline (and apparently most others too), I was worried that it ended up having a negative influence on Dovah.
I'm starting to think that it was the other way around.
(("We both influenced each other, Wendy. And as for you, ad, I'm bored of you now, so hurry up and become somewhat useful already."))
The ad's screams are then drowned out and the dark void of my mind gets lit up by a bright light that encompasses everything.
When I wake up, I notice that I'm back at the lab. I also feel... different.
(("Merger completed. 'Leslie Meyers' sentience terminated. Host has evolved into 'Human-AD Hybrid'."))
Human what now?
Dovah's POV:
"...Darkening."
Oh, so that's what this is about.
"Well sorry that everything isn't all sunshine and rainbows here, Dovahkiin. I'm not sure how many of my memories you've seen, but you should at least know that sometimes, you have to be the bad guy to be the good guy."
New Kid gives an unamused stare at this retort and I take another glance at the fucking disco ball that's apparently my soul or something.
'So purple for my Netherborn/Satanic dual class with blue and red flames sprouting up on occasion for those individual classes. Gold is the second most common color here after purple; that must be my King class.
The other colors like green and orange are probably potential combos between the three classes. Yellow for King and blue for Netherborn make green; red for Satanist and yellow for King make orange. Demon Lord and Eldritch Emperor? Meh, those dual class names work for now, but no color combo here should make the color black.
Do good and evil seriously affect people's souls here? I know that Santa's naughty/nice ability can view the good and evil in people with those specific colors, but... oh.'
Oh, you fucked up, Red. You fucked up big time... thanks for the snack, you fucking moron.
"What? You think I wanted to resort to this? What the hell do you think I've been trying to do this whole time?! Did you expect me to sit back and let nature take its course? Did you think I would follow your path and become nothing more than a little pawn in the South Parkers' game?
We aren't forced into the confines of an RPG here. We can choose our own path, our own ending!"
New Kid sighs before a screen pops up showing the after credits cutscene of Fractured but Whole.
I'm the one now staring unamused as New Kid's parents apologize and then go off to go screw each other with Butters in his Professor Chaos costume attempting to get New Kid to join him by letting the guy know that no matter how hard they try to change the past, bad shit is always going to happen.
"...You realize that I rejected his offer when he tried to start Nahkriin up again, right? I'm trying to correct the mistakes I made here, so either help me out as Player 2 or stay out of my way."
I expected a blank stare or maybe a yes or a no for an answer. What I got was a Hammer of Heavenly Reign to the fucking face.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
I'm sent flying back across the void, but stop my momentum once I process the sheer fucking audacity this kid has.
"Really? If you had a problem with how I was running the show before, you could've fucking SPOKEN UP ABOUT IT! Well guess what, New Kid? It's too fucking late to turn back now!
It's like Reality said, I'm not you and never will be. I will get out of this fucking hellhole of a prison, I will get payback on Butters and all the other manipulative, self-destructive assholes out there, and I will NOT have you ruin this new game I was forced into playing!"
New Kid summons the king's golden scepter alongside his (my) golden hammer and I summon a purple energy scythe of Soul Slash combined with Pentakill.
There's no sign of T.K. being anywhere in here, but that's okay. I don't need T.K's help to win here nor do I want his help. This battle is personal.
After a quick cycle through my powers as we stare each other down, I realize that I can't use any of the King class abilities. Looks like New Kid is that part of me, or rather, my power.
The black void then turns green as green meteors rain down upon me. I take that as the signal to begin and run through the meteor storm, slicing a few meteors that directly block my path.
"Heroes are those who defend... while villains violate." The New Kid from my timeline speaks a complete sentence for the first time ever as he never got the chance to say 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.' at the end of Stick of Truth.
I was the one who did that. I was the one who's been playing this game from the start. I'm not the New Kid, the New Kid is just a part of me. One small part out of many that have created something far greater than he could ever hope to be.
"Haven't you figured it out yet? Things aren't so black and white, Dovahkiin. Not in this world or any others!"
A giant golden gauntlet from Royal Fisting is thrown at me and I meet it with all the other abilities that made up my latest version of Arm-Ageddon.
Grim Fate, Baleful Blessing, Satanic Seal, Ghastly Grasp, Dark Whisper, Dire Shroud, Soul Slash, Power Bind, PentaKill, Wall of Hellfire, Mint and Berry, Dragon Force Punch, Zarganor's powers, and more.
I don't have my scepter on me right now, but even then, this should be more than enough.
But despite New Kid only having what should be a fraction of my power, he is the one forcing me back. He slides under the amalgamation of powers coming right at him and his golden gauntlet's forward punch turns into an uppercut that redirects my arm upwards.
The second of confusion and surprise that hits me is enough for New Kid to land a clean hit on the left side of my face with another Royal Fisting and I get slammed into the ground with the sheer force of the blow creating a tornado of wind in the confines of my mind.
From the look on New Kid's face, I can tell he wasn't expecting me to roar out in laughter after a few seconds.
"Did you SERIOUSLY just imitate fucking All Might's final blow on All for One during their second fight?!? Did you really think a 'United States of Smash' was going to be what did me in?!
Wrong show, dumbass! You should know, you're a fucking part of the right one! I know people ripped on me from time to time when I took a bit of inspiration from that particular big bad, but imitating him a bit doesn't mean I AM him just like imitating you a bit doesn't mean I AM you!"
Soul Slash and Pentakill plus Unholy Combustion mixed with Ghastly Grasp and Power Bind, followed up with Life Hack, Hands of the Hoar, and Vile Transfusion. Then Grim Fate, Satanic Seal, Dire Shroud, and Baleful Blessing.
The Vampiric Dragon's Maw blasts him off of me and I intended it to return some of my energy to me as well, which works at first, but the golden wisps of energy stop mid-way and start returning back to New Kid.
"Oh? Well, that's new. Not like it'll matter though." I send a dozen or so Power Binds strengthened with Ghastly Grasp and Soul Slash to retrieve the energy, but a golden hammer smashes them all to pieces mid-way.
"Aren't these powers simply amazing? Who hasn't fantasized about being able to fly or shoot Kamehamehas from their hands at some point?
This world is filled with hardships, yeah. I mean, a plot is basically required for a show or story, but does adversity not come with opportunities for those who face it? Does it not give you a chance to grow?" I ask the struggling Dragonborn.
I then use Milky Discharge to send a bunch of milk spawn copies of New Kid his way while strengthening them with all the buffs I have at my disposal.
"Despite me doing my best to avoid all the major troubles this show threw at its main protagonists... despite me, or rather you, not even being a main protagonist outside of the few games you're in, trouble always seemed to come my way.
Isn't that ironic? My attempts to stop these stories have created a brand new one with me as its main protagonist, a story far more intense and impactful than anything ever shown in canon."
"I really hoped that hatred would not dwell in your heart." New Kid laments as he finishes off the last clone and dozens of green meteors fall all around me. Not only that, but he seems to be taking a page out of the Pilgrim King's book as the meteors are all controlled and enhanced by his kingly aura.
"You act like that's the only emotion I have now. You really think I haven't enjoyed this? That anger and sadness were the only things I've felt since I became Player 1 in your place?
Yes, there were hardships and failures. Yes, I made mistakes. Yes, I've lost more than I could've ever imagined losing. But I've also had more fun these last few years than I ever have in my entire first life! Getting all these abilities, figuring out all these conspiracies, meeting all these people, and growing to new heights of power!"
My monologue radiating with passion continues as I fly up towards the unending black sky and New Kid charges at me again with his hammer ready to strike... but it's caught by a giant golden gauntlet.
"What?!"
"Did you forget who's mind this was? Did you forget where we're fighting? This is as much my power as it is yours!"
New Kid, T.K, Dark Angel Red, they've all affected my power, but how they affect it is up to me. Joy, anger, sorrow, pleasure, determination, and other natural emotions; how they affect me is up to me. Whether or not all those things even affect my power to begin with is up to me.
It's always been up to me.
Golden flames begin to surround me, undoing any damage and deterioration done as I hold my right hand up high, golden fire erupting from it while I stare down at the Dragonborn.
My soul pulses at this newest change and despite the colors making it up becoming slightly darker, it burns brighter than ever before.
New Kid's hesitation won't stop me. The Dark Angel's shadow won't stop me.
I'll just do what I've always done... make their power my own.
"To tell you the truth, I've always felt bad for you, New Kid. While speedrunning Stick of Truth over and over back in my old reality, I got to see countless times what South Park and the people living in it did to you. I saw them all trying to beat down and break such an amazing person time and time again.
Even when they were forced to relent and crowned you king after saving their sorry asses yet again, they once again reduced you down to just a regular old Douchebag the very next day when they switched to playing superheroes.
I made sure that the New Kid would get a happy ending here. That the New Kid would get the love, friendship, and respect they deserve. But even knowing your potential, I couldn't have been more surprised at just what the New Kid was able to accomplish when they had the right mindset.
Be proud, Dovahkiin! I never would have imagined that you'd be the one letting me reach such heights!"
Ironically enough, this reminds me of a little speech All For One gave his student, Tomura, in MHA.
What's more ironic is that said speech came from a classic anime flashback scene before Tomura powered-up and destroyed an entire city full of enemies that had him on the ropes.
Now how did it go again?...
Oh, right.
'Do not be afraid. Try thinking of it this way-
People's lives, advancement, and hard work; it's all in your hands. Whether you grasp it and crush it or roll it around and toy with it is up to you. If you can have both hate and joy in your heart...
...Then you will be FREE!'
The New Kid's POV:
'That Red's dark power... no! What's he doing?!'
Without me acting as a literal mental block for him, there's nothing stopping him from getting even stronger.
There's nothing stopping his soul from getting any darker.
"NO! YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF THAT, NOT COMPLETELY MERGE WITH IT!"
"Because of Red's tether to it? That's gone. This darkness of hers is now truly my own... and I just figured out the perfect way to use it."
I can't let him do this.
I can't let the rest of what I saw in that time distortion come true!
"I WON'T LET YOU, (Y/N)! YOU AREN'T ME AND NEVER WILL BE!!!" I cry out as I rocket up towards him.
"Did I not say that already?" He asks condescendingly before a green glow freezes me in place. Isn't that Zarganor's ability? But that guy's telekinesis isn't supposed to be such a dark shade of green! It isn't supposed to be this powerful!
No, it's already begun...
"You would've never accomplished this, but that's okay. I wouldn't expect you to be able to after everything you've been through. So just relax and enjoy the show, New Kid. You've suffered enough."
He then turns around and stares at his darkening soul.
"Who would've thought things would turn out like this?... I guess a happy ending was a bit too unrealistic, even for a place like this.
Even so, I'm sure I'll figure something out. I always do, after all."