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"Hey baby, you gotta get up. Today is a big day for you," the mother says to her son. "What?" asks a sleepy boy who is not quite awake yet. "You have to get up. We're going to visit your grandma today," says the mother and her son's big, innocent eyes immediately widen. "Haha, I knew you'd wake up with that," she says and starts petting his son's hair. "Come on, we have to go, your grandmother won't wait forever for you either. She has something big planned for you today," says the mother and lifts her son up to get him ready. "What? What's Granny up to?" the boy asks with a big grin on his face. "I don't know, but she said it was a surprise, so we have to hurry," says the mother, putting her son's shoes on.
"Are you and daddy coming too?" the son asks with an expectant look, but the son can suddenly see sadness and pain in his mother's eyes and that is a rare sight for him. "I'm sorry, little one. Your father is not at home and doesn't come home until very late. And I have to go to the doctor today. But I'll pick you up after dinner this evening and then we'll finally finish reading your favorite book," says the mother and then picks up her son and gives him a smile. "Okay?" the mother asks and her son nods happily and cuddles then to his mother's chest.
꧁꧂
"Mom...", Felix whispers to himself as he turns around on the floor. After reading the message from his father yesterday, he didn't get up from the floor and fell asleep there because of emotional exhaustion. But when Felix opens his eyes and tries to remember what happened, he realizes that it was a terrible mistake not to go to bed. His whole back hurts and his head is just pounding with a headache. Felix looks at the clock and notices that he still has two more hours until class starts. Felix starts to toy with the idea of not going to school today, but unfortunately he has to, otherwise his perfect record will go down the drain and that would only raise questions that Felix doesn't yet feel ready to answer. Unfortunately, Felix has always been seen as the perfect student and although this only stresses him out more, Felix used to need this as a kind of distraction from everything else.
So Felix gets up and goes into the bathroom to look at himself. His dark circles under his eyes are darker than usual, even though he's gotten enough sleep. His eyes are also still very red and puffy from crying so much, but he doesn't feel like putting on makeup. So he just combs his hair over his face and puts on his black mask. Then he looks in the mirror one last time, but nothing good comes out of it other than a loud sigh. So he just goes into the kitchen and looks for something to eat, but there's hardly anything left.
'I have to go shopping today,' he thinks to himself and sighs again. Although he has enough money to support himself and still save for his future plans, it still hurts. He has never had to fend for himself. His sister and father were always there, even if he wasn't much help, but he still loved his father... somehow.
Felix simply packs his bag and leaves the house. He walks to school and doesn't even think about the steps that automatically take him to Olivia's former kindergarten. It hurts to see how used to his everyday life he was and would have done anything for Liv, but now...
Felix stops in front of the kindergarten for a few minutes and looks at the colorful facade. He still remembers taking Olivia to kindergarten for the first time. It was a warm summer day and she was wearing her favorite dress. A pink princess dress with a white bow on her back and her pink glitter shoes. Felix was holding her Disney bag and had to hold her too when she started crying because she was scared. She didn't want to go to kindergarten without Felix, but Felix had to go to school, but he still risked carrying her inside. But as soon as they were through the door, Liv was completely different. She saw all the colorful pictures on the walls and all the toys on the floor and all she wanted to do was play. Felix was happy that Liv liked it and could go to school with a clear conscience.
While Felix is reminiscing about old memories, he doesn't notice a group of boys approaching him. "Felix?" one of the boys asked and Felix immediately turned around when he heard his name. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Jisung was the one who recognized Felix and spoke to him. Of course Felix didn't answer, but looked at the boys shocked and a little scared. “Are you here to drop off your sibling?” Seungmin asks, remembering yesterday. Felix teared up again, but luckily the boys couldn't see anything through his hair. Felix just shook his head slightly and Seungmin was a little confused. “Then why are you here?” asks another boy, whom Felix has never seen before. He was short but very broad built and was also dressed in all black clothes. Felix has to honestly admit that this boy scares him and so Felix takes a hesitant step back.
"Ah Binnie, you're scaring him," Jisung whines, walking towards Felix and locking Felix's arm into his own. "I'm sorry, but why should you go to a kindergarten if you won't even drop off a child here?" 'Binnie' asks confused. Felix wanted to tear himself away from Jisung's tight grip and run away, but Jisung didn't let him go. "He's the boy I told you about and that Chan-Hyung and Seungmin ran into yesterday ", explains Jisung and now the others seem to understand who Felix is. "Besides, it's none of our business why Felix is here?" says Seungmin, who can recognize the panic in Felix. "Okay, I'll bring Lucas in and then we can walk to school together," Chan suggests and before Felix can object, Jisung nods happily. And so Felix stays at Jisung's side while they wait for Chan.
"Okay Felix, I've found a solution for how you can communicate with us without always having a notepad and pen with you," says Jisung and takes out his cell phone. “Here, type in your number and I'll create a chat group,” Jisung says. Felix stares at the cell phone for a few seconds and hesitates a little. He didn't want to become friends with them, but this Jisung isn't making it easy for him. Then he remembers Seungmin's words from yesterday... 'I also want to tell you that Jisung was serious about his offer of friendship and if he's serious, unfortunately there's no turning back'. The boy seems to be really stubborn. So he takes Jisung's phone and saves his number. After he has done that, Jisung pulls his cell phone back to him and less than 5 seconds later Felix's cell phone rings. Felix looks at Jisung in surprise. “I just wanted to make sure you really gave me your number,” Jisung says with a cheeky grin and then goes to work creating a group with all of his friends.
After a few minutes, Chan finally came back. It became a bit uncomfortable as Jisung and his friends stood around him and talked about God and the world, but he couldn't or didn't want to participate. He likes Jisung, but he's a little too much for him and the others just act like Felix is just another friend of Jisung's that the boy gets rid of after five days or so. When Chan comes out with a big smile, he goes straight to Felix's other side. “Shall we?” he asks his friends, but looks at Felix for a few seconds. But you can't call it real eye contact because Felix's hair is still covering his face. Felix nods and is finally able to free himself from Jisung's grip. He goes ahead and leaves the others behind. He doesn't want to be treated any longer as if he were just a short-term addition to the group.
When he gets to school, he looks at his schedule and then goes to art class without giving anyone else a last glance. As he runs away, he can hear a disappointed sigh from Jisung, but he just ignores it. He runs straight into the art room and sits down at his seat. Then he unpacks his things and waits for the teacher. He tries to ignore the students marching in, but two familiar faces approach him.
"Hey Felix, we have art together?" Hyunjin asks and Felix can't do anything other than nod.
"By the way, I'm Jeongin. I don't know how old you are. Should I call you Hyung?" asks Jeongin, who seems to be very young, but Felix could be wrong. Felix simply shakes his head and forgoes formalities. “Okay, by the way, I love your style,” Jeongin says, giving Felix a nice smile. Felix almost feels bad for his cold attitude, but only almost.
"By the way, Jisung asked us to invite you to dinner if one of us is in the same class as you. Please just come with us. We know that you didn't feel like it yesterday, but Jisung really likes you and we would also be very happy about a new friend," says Hyunjin and sits down next to Felix, while Jeongin sits down next to Hyunjin. Felix thinks for a few seconds. He actually wanted to go back to the roof today, but it seems like Jisung really wants him there. Maybe after this meal Felix can finally scare the boys away. How? He still don't knows. Jisung seems to be the guy you won't scare away that easily. But Felix remains confident that he won't need anyone as a friend. Felix looks at Hyunjin and nods his head.
"Great. I'll text the others straight away that you will be there," says Hyunjin with a broad smile, which makes him look completely different than he did yesterday morning. But Felix doesn't feel like smiling at all. He has too many things running around in his head that he doesn't know what to take care of first. He just hopes that his head will soon get the rest it deserves.
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Another chapter for you guys.
I know it is very angst, but... 🤷♀️😅
I hope you liked it. See you next Friday!
~chichi