How to Survive South Park

Per aDovahkean

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A top tier South Park: Stick of Truth speedrunner gets sent into that very game, and by extension, the world... Més

A Brand New Reality
Game: Start
Butterflies and Busting Balls
Sticks and Stones Can't Hurt My Bones
Guard's Worst Nightmare
Two-Faced Shortcutting Traitor
A Little Problem Called Plot
Day 2
Catching Up and Crashing Down
May the Best Race (Elves) Win
The Dark Lord and His Sleep-Deprived Necromancer
The First Final Battle Part 1
The First Final Battle Part 2
The First Final Battle Part 3
The First Final Battle Part 4
Light at the Distorted Tunnel's End
Out of Order
Development
The World Better Prepare, For Now I am a Billionaire
Fun and Games
Dancing with the Devil
It's Just Good Business
Christmas Time is Once a Year
Putting the 'Danger' in Danger Deck
Demonic Spells for Dummies
A Happily Ever After Without Humanity
Black and Blue
The Reality of Things
The Yaoi Girls Have Spoken
Get it all Together
Ctrl Alt Del
Shutting Down
Christmas With the Satanists Part 1
Christmas With the Satanists Part 2
A Day in the Second Life of Dovah
Experiments
Dealing with Dark Lords
The Storm Before The Calm
Becoming a Member
Power NOT Beyond My Imagination
SOT Rematch - Dovahkiin vs Kenny
Who History is Written By
PHONE DESTROYER!
Who Ya Gonna Call?
Uno Reverso
The Fractured But Whole
A God Among Common Man
Rivals
Controlled Chaos Part 1
Controlled Chaos Part 2
Eyes, Ears, and Crutches Everywhere
Desperation
A Very Angry Guardian Angel
Demonic Dance Battle
Ignorant
Show's Over
April Fools - Imaginationland Edition
Campfire Songs, Sharks, and Space Aliens
How to Join Dovah's Stalker Club
Exorcisms For Dummies
Telepathic Titans
Undefeatable
A Few New Familiar Faces
So the Son of Satan and Some Priests are at a Birthday Party...
Anti-Tegridy
Animosity
Defenders of the Mountain
Nahkriin War Part 1 - Entropy
Nahkriin War Part 2 - Takedown
Nahkriin War Part 3 - Adaptation
Nahkriin War Part 4 - Buildup
Nahkriin War Part 5 - Counter
Nahkriin War Part 6 - Cheaters Always Prosper
Nahkriin War Finale - Membering
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
A New Beginning
Bonus Chapter #1 - All Current Forms and Powers + Intermission
Changing the Future, Take 2
Letting it Out
Old Game, New Goal
You Call That Chaos?:
Growing a Pair
No Strings on Me
Game Over
Plan B
Evolution
UFAs
Law and Order
Tenorman's Revenge Part 1 - The True Time Child
Tenorman's Revenge Part 2 - Dirty Business
Tenorman's Revenge Part 3 - Re-Emergence and Revenge
Tenorman's Revenge Part 4 - Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Tenorman's Revenge Finale - Operation Brobot
Game Night
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 1 - The Many Cuts of Truth
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 2 - The Summon-Cyclopedia
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 3 - Disappointing Deep Ones
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 4 - May the Best Race (Humans) Win
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 5 - CUT! SKIP! F#^K THIS S%(T!!!
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 6 - Hail to the King
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 7 - What Lies Below
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 8 - Night of the Living German Dead
Alternate Stick of Truth Part 9 - For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls
Alternate Stick of Truth Finale - Bonus Unlocked: Day 4
Bonus Chapter #2 - Story Arcs, Behind the Scenes, and Future Plans
Stalked by an Angel
Angelic Monarch
A Match Made in Hell
Planetary Power
Gotta Catch Em' All
Dragons and Douchebags
Multiverse Theory Is Still a Female Dog
The Right Tools for the Job
Answering The Call
P.T.K.T. (Planet Trapper Keeper Tycoon)
Mind in the Program
The Final Nail Part 1
The Final Nail Part 2
A New Lease on Life
Stepping Into Godhood
Blood on My Name
All's Not Well That Ends Not Well
Plans, Preparations, and Pac-man
Red Dead Deception
Coming Full Circle
A Distorted Tale's End
Dark Arc Epilogue - All For Two
South Park 64 Part 1 - Feathered F%#kers
South Park 64 Part 2 - Originals Rule, Copies Drool
The Trio of Terrors
South Park 64 Part 3 - Cloning and Cheesing
South Park 64 Part 4 - Monsters of Mass Destruction
South Park 64 Part 5 - Mind Games
South Park 64 Part 6 - Metal Madness
South Park 64 Finale - C̵͓̆a̶̹͌l̴̘͗ả̸̖m̶͉̎i̸̡͘t̵͎̿y̷̬͑
Phone Destroyer vs Power Leveler
For A Better Future
Morgan Freeman Explains... Time Patrol and The Crossover Wars
Lovely Lovely Loopholes
Realms and Realizations
Deleted and Devoured
Ascension
The Fake's Finale
And The Transcendent's Return
Overkill, Or Just The Right Amount Of Kill?
Battle of Gods - Round 2
Red Herring
The Story of New Kid - Soldier, Poet, King, and Dragonborn
Dovahkiin vs Dovah
The Man Behind The Mastermind
Ready, Set, LARP!
The End of an Era Part 1
The End of an Era Part 2
A Better Way...
Past vs Future
Bonus Chapter #3 - End of and Post HTSSP
Insight, Hindsight, and Foresight Part 1
Insight, Hindsight, and Foresight Part 2
Sibling Wars Part 1 - Little Posers
Sibling Wars Part 2 - Screw You, Cthulhu
Sibling Wars Part 3 - Nooooo, Canadaaaaa
Sibling Wars Part 4 - La Resistance at Last!
Sibling Wars Part 5 - Worldbuilding and War Games
A Complete, Powerful Picture
Sibling Wars Part 6 - Weeping Angel
Sibling Wars Part 7 - Family Dynamic
Sibling Wars Part 8 - Alternate Ending
Sibling Wars Part 9 - Remember Membering?
Sibling Wars Finale - Twilight of Gods
Sibling Wars - Aftermath
Side by Side

A New Kind of Game

110 5 26
Per aDovahkean

Several hours have passed since the battle with the Time Patrollers. I escaped to another timeline alongside Red once I grabbed Zenon and my weapon in the works along with all the stuff I'm using to upgrade them with.

The time portal she made for us led us to a castle in hell or 'Citadel of Doom' as she calls it where she seems to be the big boss around here. At least the tour was decent enough despite all the self praise littered throughout getting old after the first tenth of it.

I was also mentally tearing T.K. a new one for not getting rid of a certain design flaw that fucked it over in canon and nearly fucked us over here.

'RULE #25, T.K: NO MATTER HOW WELL IT WOULD PERFORM, NEVER CONSTRUCT ANY SORT OF MACHINERY WHICH IS COMPLETELY INDESTRUCTIBLE EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL AND VIRTUALLY INACCESSIBLE VULNERABLE SPOT!!!'

(("Taking inspiration from the 'Things I'll do if I ever become an Evil Overlord' list sounds a little hypocritical, host."))

'WE FUCKING DIED BACK THERE, T.K! DIED! AND WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH WORSE THINGS COULD'VE GOTTEN IF IT WASN'T FOR RED RESURRECTING US RIGHT AFTER!'

I figured that his robot pride would need a mouth to mouth after the complete embarrassment that was the first part of our last fight, but from the looks of things, my A.I. partner is now more sarcastic than ever before.

Perhaps the dark angel's spell didn't completely fix the damage done.

(("It did; I triple checked to make sure that spell holds no influence over us. I am also currently working on fixing that originally built-in design flaw by integrating the main CPU with-")) Don't care. Just get it done, please.

She also seemed to have hundreds of her 'shadows' around the castle though most were pretty weak (at least compared to us) and just keeping things neat and tidy.

Looks like she doesn't keep all of them on herself... literally.

We chatted for a while as I continued working on Zenon and Dragonsbane through T.K. and Red got her massage which I may have gotten a little jealous over and got one of as well once my new 'partner' was finished.

It looked really comfortable and I was a giant ball of stress after almost dying again, okay?

(("Do you want me to alter the part of your brain that-")) No, T.K. No.


Turns out she is one of the Time Patrollers top 10 most dangerous enemies in their eyes which have been dubbed 'Time Terrors' by that organization and she has been fighting against them for ages now while slowly building her own army up in the process like she's in some kind of tycoon game.

The main reason she's such a big threat is obviously her ability in Phone Destroyer that has a few more special functions then what's shown in the game, making it insanely OP.

Whoever she uses it on has to be very close to death, but not when they are dead or it won't work. That person then gets quickly killed and resurrected which fully heals their body, stamina, and soul and even gets any tools or weapons they had when they first started out in that state (like in Phone Destroyer) regardless of the state they were in when the spell was used.

As for differences, the people Red does this too kind of become like the Shadows in Solo Leveling which this Red seems to be a huge fan of. They become fiercely loyal to the spell caster and the stronger one is, the more of a personality they develop.

That along with the small boost in power they get and the personality shift towards the evil side of the DND alignment chart (while also becoming fanatically loyal) reminds me of the Majin boost from Dragon Ball. Not exactly the perfect power-up to get, all things considered. Thank fuck for T.K, or I would've been a slave to her whim after getting hit with that spell; telepathy and cleansing powers be damned!

This Red's shadows also can be summoned at any time and can act independently, but Red can also control them like a hive mind if she wishes (which she does 99% of the time). The shadows are attached to her and basically work as extra limbs for her. She can do a lot more with them than having them become clothes or accessories.

The only issue with that is the durability is the same, so with most shadows being pretty weak, she would be better off using her own attacks against stronger opponents as she has a good amount of power herself. The shadows are better used as support.

While we're on the topic of downsides, they unfortunately don't have things like regeneration (unless they had healing abilities to begin with) and shadow infiltration (can't pass them on to others) and they also can't grow once they've become 'shadows' as Red calls them, so they're stuck at whatever amount of power they were at when they first became shadows forever which basically makes them a toned down version of what the Shadow Monarch can create in that light novel.

Also, like Red said before, if they die, then that's it. They're gone and even reversing time won't bring them back (unlike regular people). This seems to be one of the spells even a slight grasp over time has no effect against, like what ManBearPig used on me when we first fought way back then.


There are loopholes to some of these rules however. Shadows can't grow on their own, but along with keeping their memories (or simply gaining more experience with stuff), they can be given weapons, armor, and buffs that increase their combat power. These aren't permanent though, so it can't be abused.

Red can also use the spell on her shadows if they are near death like before to bring them back to 100% again, but that spell takes a ton of energy to do no matter who it is and they don't get another slight power boost.

She typically only does it once or twice a day and was really pushing it when she did it four times so close together. She probably would have dropped unconscious if that Wendy didn't pump her full of energy right after.

Doing that only makes her feel better instead of completely recharging the ability as that spell requires dark magic as well as energy, so she can't have her minions constantly give her energy so she can spam the spell. She probably won't be able to do it for a while now, but it was well worth it according to her.

Oh, and there doesn't seem to be a limit to how many shadows she can have. There also isn't a limit to how powerful a victim of her spell can be unlike in Phone Destroyer where only cards with 5 or less 'energy' can be affected by it. Her spell could work on a full-power Cthulhu for all I know, but if I could find a way around it, then I'm sure other really powerful beings can too.

Even with the multiple big downsides, her main Dark Angel ability is, quite frankly, asinine in terms of it's raw potential. All she needs to do is continue collecting powerful shadows and she'd become an unstoppable one-woman army. No wonder she's called a Time Terror.

This Red and Wendy have quite the history with each other as they have had several battles over the years throughout space and time which resulted in Red losing a ton of her soldiers in the process. This Wendy was actually known for taking down a lot of 'Time Criminals' as they are apparently called over the years. These guys seriously suck at naming.

Basically, people who manipulate time and change shit they're not supposed to are considered to be time criminals no matter how pure their intentions were or how much good they did, which is total bullshit. There are only a few exceptions to this, which... seem even more unreasonable then this next part.

The Time Patrol then comes along and throws these time travelers in jail for a while before letting them go, but not before giving them a choice. They could either join the Time Patrol themselves or never time travel again with repeat offenders being caught again and given a much worse punishment.

That would have been fucking helpful to know instead of being threatened with death if I didn't 'come quietly' as that Jimmy patroller put it.

It doesn't really matter since it's too late to change anything now. I wouldn't want to be limited by them anyway as I have big plans that involve plenty of making spacetime my bitch.

It seems I'll have to make a few more adjustments to said plan now.

As for how Red became involved with time travel in the first place, she's keeping it to herself for now and I am too. We just met each other so of course we aren't going to be super close... though Red seems to want to change that.


"Right here, right now. I put the offer out. I don't wanna chase you down. I know you see it."

"Are you seriously trying to convince me through a parody of 'The Other Side' by Hugh Jackman right now? I get that South Park is filled to the brim with parodies, but still."

"You run with me. And I can set you free. Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in."

"I've seen more animatics and lyric pranks of this on Youtube than you can count, grackle. I'm not joining the dark side through a fucking duet!"

"Awww, but that would've been so much fun though. Come on Dovah, we have common goals and a common enemy here. We would be the perfect partners in crime!"

"Sorry, but I'm not interested in doing this stereotypical bad guy bullshit. I have my own agenda at the moment." I stubbornly refuse. Can't be making this too easy for her, now can I?

"Who said anything about being stereotypical?"

"Red, you literally-"

"So trade that ty-pi-cal... for something co-lor-ful... And if it's crazy, live a little crazy."

And now she's going back to singing 'The Other Side' again.

"You can play it sen-si-ble, a king of con-ven-tional. Or you can risk it all and seeeeee..."

I give her another 'are you fucking serious' look as she continues to try and convince me.


"Okay, in all seriousness, our choice on that particular matter is waaaay down the line after we destroy our common enemy. We both have short term plans like the aforementioned 'destroying our common enemy' quest and working together would make them much easier to solve.

The Time Patrol won't stop hunting us down until we're either locked up or dead and I'm sure you have other enemies out there you want to destroy. Why else would you be so obsessed with gaining strength before even meeting those guys?"

'Believe me, I'm well aware of that. It's what's below the surface of this little agreement that's the problem.' I reflect internally as she goes on her tangent.

"It's us versus the world, Dovah. People like us need to stick together to survive. Just imagine what we can do together; we can become powerful enough to make those stupid patrollers bow down to us like we're gods!"

"We may both be on the Time Patroller's hit list, but my goals are still noble in the end, you female Mephiles."

The dark angel flies closer to me and states bluntly, "They couldn't care less about that. You tried doing good, yet they still came after you. What does that say about them?

They allow some time traveling incidents to be exceptions even if the people doing them are far less noble then you and the results are far less helpful, if they're even helpful to begin with. They have their own warped views on good and evil with evil being anything that doesn't follow their little agenda. Who are they to decide that?"

"And you think that you should be the one to decide that?" She gets even closer after this rebuttal and begins to playfully fly around me.

"I never said that. Whoever's at the top will naturally be allowed to make the rules. If I were at the top, I wouldn't make any stupid restrictions. I want freedom and I will let everyone have that freedom when I destroy that stupid patrol. They won't stop until either they or we are dead, Dovah. You know what needs to be done."

"And your shadows?"

"Idiots who tried to stop me from achieving this freedom for everyone, including them."

I know she's right (about the first part anyway; her shadow collection is a different story). I'll never be able to achieve my goals with the Time Patrol in the way and I'm not nearly strong enough to take them down yet. According to Red, Wendy wasn't even in the top 20 when it comes to the power of the T.P. agents, she was just one of the really active ones.

There's no point in trying to reason with these guys. The stereotype of 'murder first, ask questions later' is all too common with groups like them. I've seen plenty of stories that have these kinds of groups as enemies and there's no peaceful solution to this problem.

Only one side is getting out of this alive when the conflict ends.

This 'terror' will be a good foothold and information source as I get adjusted to the bigger world out there. I don't have the advantage of knowing the future this time around so I'll have to play this new 'game' a bit more carefully then the last one.

Besides, it's as they say: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

The only tricky part is making sure I'm not reduced to another one of her pawns like her shadows, but after my experiences with Leslie, Timmy, and Cartman, I feel pretty confident that this won't go like my little undercover stint with the ads did.

Not to mention, I'll get plenty more experience fighting on a mental battlefield, something I definitely need if I'm ever going to become a mental mastermind. Like I said before, physical power isn't the only kind of power out there.

It's why I chose to limit myself during my second run of SOT, going for more of a commander role then a fighter role towards the end.

I've gotten pretty good at mental manipulation thanks to my experiences with people like Cartman and the ads of my timeline, but I'm sure there are plenty of others out there playing in a completely different ballpark to those guys.

It's just like my goals with physical power, I need to get more. I need to get better and I need to get better fast.

"Fine, I'll work with you for now, Mephiles."

"Thanks, babe. Also, who the hell is Mephiles?" Things won't go like the last time I worked with the bad guys. I'm not the naive newbie like I was back then.


It's painfully obvious that she will try and make me into her pawn as we fight the patrollers. That she'll ever so slightly try to skew my morals towards her way of thinking. It's the same shit Leslie tried, only this Red seems to be even more evil then the android trying to commit literal genocide on the human race.

I know that I'm far from being a saint myself, but I'll be doing my best to not cross any more lines.

"Oh, don't you worry your conniving little head about it, 'babe'. Focus on what's important right now." I reply suavely as I gently stroke her pitch-black wings.

Even if I do cross that line, that won't end well for her as I'll just be a bit more forceful getting what I want.

I've gotten pretty good at (mostly) keeping my ego in check throughout my time here and I'm perfectly fine with admitting that even with my knowledge of this reality, getting far by myself would be very difficult, if not impossible. I need help from others to make this work.

I had Kenny and Timmy to rely on in the world I was sent to and I have T.K. now to back me up, but the A.I. can only do so much.

(("And trying to get her on your side is better? Even with this little mental game you're keen on playing, the risks-")) She has knowledge and powers that I don't and will be very helpful to me in the future.

Her alignment is also something that can work in my favor as my enemies in this situation are the so-called heroes. I need someone who is evil, cunning, manipulative, and ruthless to both help and inadvertently teach me.

(("You know what happened with Leslie.")) Yes, I do. And like I said, I was a beginner at this kind of game back then. I have experience dealing with people like her now. Leslie, Cartman, the member berries, even what I did with Wendy back then somewhat applies to this.

This is a good chance to put what I've learned to the test and learn even more during the process.

My response is one such example. I was friends with Kenny for years so comments like hers aren't gonna fluster me anymore. And I didn't just learn how to ignore it from him but also how to dish it right back.

The angel is the one who gets a bit flustered with her smiling soon after.

"You keep on surprising me, Dovah. Usually you Dragonborns are so unbearably bland, but this multiverse is just full of surprises, isn't it?" Her latest comment made me remember a thought of Wendy's during the fight.

"You are a really weird anomaly though. Dovahkiins are never this, well, outgoing or talkative in general. You kind of remind me of one of those otherworlders."

"I suppose so. Your newest pet said something similar and compared me to an... otherworlder, I think she said?" I try to seem confused at the last part so as to not expose myself, but in truth, this is a double feint.

I intend for her to find out about this and make her think I wanted to keep it a secret while gaining info with the latter technically being true since I want to know what she knows about otherworlders. In short, I want her to uncover one layer of me and the gains from that along with a little temporary short sightedness from that should prevent her from realizing there's another layer right below.


Welcome to the world of mind games, where pretty much everything has a secret meaning behind it and even the most simple conversations can become stupidly complicated below the surface.


"You don't know about them? Oh yeah, I guess you are pretty new to this whole 'Multiverse' thing. Otherworlders are guys who seem to pop in from a completely different reality, one where our world is like some tv show like fucking Family Guy or something in theirs.

They don't really amount to much though as while they seem to know a lot about our world, they're too busy having fangasms or something like when regular people meet celebrities they're obsessed with to really take advantage of it. Either that or they act like creepy maniacs with their shipping and OTPs of different South Parkers."

I nod along as she continues, "Most of them can't really handle places like South Park and die from whatever crazy bullshit is going on that week. Some do seem to have a general idea of what they're doing though and I've heard of a couple otherworlders basically taking over the worlds they were sent to over the years or just getting together with a bunch of South Parkers they obsessed over. Shit like that."

'...Freeman, you fucking liar. Why am I not surprised?' I mentally growl while continuing to listen.

"They all seem to be pretty special characters even if most of them are completely retarded 90% of the time. I've heard of some even having weird powers they were sent here with or being something other than human like hybrids or aliens or something.

I've only really heard of them since the T.P. doesn't bother dealing with them as long as they don't fuck with time so rumors are all I have to work with. It's a shame they don't actually put their otherworldly knowledge to use... for... holy shit, you're an otherworlder, aren't you?"


Clever girl.


"You are a fucking otherworlder, aren't you?! How else would you fucking know to go after Trapper Keeper and exactly how to control it when it happened like 10 years before 'Dovahkiin' even moved to South Park? Not even Cartman managed that in the timelines where that happened!

Then there's all the other powers you managed to get and your knowledge of absolutely everything regarding South Park's history. I was wondering how the hell you just seemed to know things despite being a newbie in time travel. Well I'll be damned, I didn't know otherworlders could inhabit the bodies of people native to this place."

"...Alright, you got me." I admit, much to her satisfaction and ego. Stupid half-answers and/or mind-fucking wasn't going to placate her like most others such as canon Wendy and Cartman.

"Yes, I'm what we're calling 'an otherworlder'. I found myself as the New Kid or 'Dovahkiin' when he moved to South Park for Stick of- uh, when he moved here and played that medieval fantasy game with the others. I focused on gaining power instead of relentless shipping and tried changing my world's future for the better, which mostly worked out, but I was betrayed at the end and lost everything."

"So you're traveling through time to get even stronger in order to get payback? Who betrayed you and how strong were they? Was it Cartman? No, you wouldn't be stupid enough to trust him. It had to be someone you would never expect... Scott Malkinson?"

"Close, Butters Stotch."

"Butters? Seriously? That kid couldn't hurt a fly! Hell, he couldn't hurt a fly even if he wanted to!"

"You would be amazed at what he can do if he's given a little confidence. As for how strong he was, even as I am now, he would wipe the floor with me. I taught him how to abuse every opportunity he could to get stronger with the others I trusted and the student simply surpassed the master in the end."

"How did he do that? Imaginationland or something?"

"Bingo."

"You gave that guy access to Imaginationland?! Isn't he like god there or something?"

"I had him show me how to be a god there too, he just used it to his advantage more than I did."

"Fucking hell, sounds like he could give even the Exalted Agents at the Time Patrol some serious headaches. I'm guessing that was a wake-up call for you? You're now abusing your knowledge even more than he did because of this, right? Morals didn't get you very far in the end, did it?"

"Why do you think I went after Trapper Keeper? Also, I can get extremely powerful and still keep some of my morals. I just couldn't travel through time before since I didn't want to risk not being able to return to my own timeline. I had to start this because I had no other choice, so might as well see it through to the end, right?"

"Perfect. With your power, body, knowledge, and yours truly backing you up, you'll be putting that blond-haired bitch back in his place in no time!" She gives me an evil grin and I give my own grin right back, but that's just on the surface.

'There she goes again, thinking that only she can make the most of other people's assets.' I mentally grumble to myself. 'You have no idea what I've done with my knowledge, and even if I hadn't done anything, who are you to fucking judge me for that?

This knowledge is mine, and I can do whatever I damn well please with it. Just like you crave absolute control over other people, I have absolute control over my own knowledge.'

But is that really the best thing? If Red decided not to use her shadowizing spell on me a few hours ago, all that knowledge would've gone to waste. Only the few remaining people in my own timeline would be able to keep using it, and that probably won't get them very far against a Butters who also has plenty of knowledge about the South Park show because of me.

I have to tread carefully here. It'll be a challenge for sure... but it's nothing I can't manage now.

"Oh? So you want to be the Ellie Rose to my Henry Stickmin?" I confirm.

"Okay, now that reference I got. Sure, sounds like a blast."

"Great. We just need to make a few preparations before taking down the multiversal Toppat Clan."

"I wish we were dealing with the Toppat Clan." Red sighs. "If we were, we could just join them and take it over for ourselves. I'd be caught dead before I even consider joining those asshole time cops."

"You know that you'd have to wear a top hat 24/7 in that theoretical situation right?"

"I think I could pull off that look."

"It would block your thorny halo though."

"...Shit."


She probably thinks that she scored a major victory by learning so much about me, but not only will she mentally lower her guard now, but she also sees just how helpful I can be to her cause.

In other words, I went from being a disposable ally to an indispensable ally. She will want to keep me on her side no matter what and dial the control freak part of her back a bit (on the outside at least) to be more accommodating while she tries to manipulate and mold me into her perfect weapon.

Even now, she doesn't realize how dangerous I truly am. With how I presented myself to her, she'll be trying to have me cross lines I already crossed years ago while I learn everything I need to know about her.

Why do you think I mentioned my morals and righteousness so much during our conversation? It's something I hardly ever do, but she doesn't know that.

I have a clean slate with her, as does she with me. How we fill those slates is up to us and I'll be taking advantage of that just like I did when I was first isekai'd into South Park.

Cartman didn't realize it until it was far too late and I intend for the same to happen here. It will be a lot harder since I don't know nearly as much about her as I did with Cartman and she obviously practiced her manipulation skills quite a bit more than canon Cartman did, but I'm far more skilled than I was back then as well.

It's like a game of Tug-a-War with the loser being pulled permanently into the winner's side. I could always just cut the rope, but I would rather gain an incredibly useful ally out of this than cut my losses and face the patrol myself.

At the end of the day, she's just using me; but I'm using her as well. It's a mutual using, and I'll make sure to use her far more than she'll use me.


And speaking of the Time Patrol, those fuckers won't be catching me off guard a second time. I have T.K. getting rid of that fucking canon weakness ASAP and with most of that Wendy's power now merged with my own, I'm now stronger then ever.

Not only that, but remember what Red said earlier about her being able to use that modified dark angel spell of hers on those she already made shadows? Yeah, I'm gonna be abusing that whenever I get the chance. I can have T.K. absorb that Wendy and her energy to increase my own until she's about to die, have Red use her spell to bring her back to normal, then rinse and repeat.

Of course, Red isn't dumb enough to let me do this constantly. She doesn't want me to become leagues stronger than her since despite my value to her, we haven't really built much trust yet and her spell is mainly gonna be used for converting others into members of her army. I can compromise on the first part though by having T.K. give her some improvements of her own once we get the resources to, building her trust in me more in the process.

(("Should we try slightly mind-controlling her in the meantime. With some cybernetic implants plus telepathy from beings like Zarganor-")) No. Like I said, she's no amateur either. She more than likely has ways of knowing and methods to get rid of them.

It isn't worth the risk right now. Instead, I'll be using the one power I've been neglecting for far too long. The very power (and only power) New Kid was born with and the very reason the government hunted him down in the first place.

The literal fucking power of friendship.

(("Despite this being in your (New Kid's) DNA and not magical in nature, it is likely that she knows about it based on her earlier comment about Dovahkiins."))

And that's okay because something like that should be much harder to defend against than any magical attack. It's something truly unique to the entity known as Dovahkiin. Abstract stuff tends to be harder to counter.

Besides, I'm much different from every other Dovahkiin she knows just like how she's much different then every other Red that I know. She isn't the red-headed background character on the show with way too many legendary cards in Phone Destroyer; she's become a completely different person over the years that just so happened to take up the class of her Dark Angel card.

My obsession with the South Parkers' past exploits gave me logical tunnel vision when I first arrived here. I assumed that by watching the show, playing or watching walkthroughs of the games, and reading the fanfics, that I knew everything there was to know about those guys.

But things are different now. I know better than to fall into that trap.

I know that I don't know enough; only a fool thinks he knows everything there is to know.

Dovah and Dark Angel Red are both completely different people then their 'canon' counterparts, New Kid and Red/Rebecca McArthur. That much is obvious to both sides, but it can still be used to both of our advantages. It all depends on who uses that advantage better.


I know that I tend to group all my powers together pretty well, but I've come to find that there's a big difference between 'magic' powers and 'ability' powers with the latter honestly being better to use in most cases.

Magic needs time to prepare and in that time, it can be canceled or interrupted. This becomes less of an issue as I master these powers overtime but at the level of strength I'm approaching, all-out battles can be decided in a fraction of a second or even less. All it takes is one lucky blow.

On the other hand, it's simply easier to use the 'ability' powers, or in other words, biological powers that I've gained through absorption. Some examples of this are Zarganor and Bradley's powers. The data I have on them along with T.K. helping me out makes these powers feel completely natural to me when I get them.

Mechanical 'powers' if you can even call them that which I acquire from absorbing devices such as time cores, energy blasters, reflector shields, etc are similar, but those are more up T.K's alley. I still understand what I need to though and can have T.K. do whatever I need him to with a simple command.

You may have to boot something up or wait for a command to process, but generally, it can be made as simple as turning a lightswitch on and off with enough modifications.

With Trapper Keeper basically being an 'ability' with the highest level of interchangeability, it is naturally easier for me to use 'ability' powers. I'm not saying that 'magic' powers are bad, only that they tend to have more downsides and are generally less efficient than 'ability' powers.

It's funny, really. There's a bit of romanticism to it, right? Considering I'm basically in what could be called a genuine fantasy world after all.

Even in most fantasy games, isn't magic only mainly used in the earlier stages? The strongest player usually ends up being a one-handed warrior or a sneaky archer whose arrows can fuck up an enchant or spell.

They probably still have some form of support magic to boost them at that point, but that's really what magic is at the end of the day: support. Sure there are countless attack spells out there, but don't mages usually compensate for their weak defense with boosts and other protective spells?

In that case, when you can have both, why would you only stick with magic? Let the natural abilities be the foundation and the magic abilities be the support to strengthen said foundation.

Speaking of magic powers, as for why I can't just learn the Dark Angel's shadow spell myself, again, Red isn't dumb enough to show me how to do that.

According to her, it's a spell only dark angels can use and even if I did find and absorb one, the spell she made has been heavily modified and the regular one is like it's Phone Destroyer counterpart where it can't be used to completely control people like Red's can and also has a long cooldown time along with massive energy and magic consumption.

It takes a few more days for the upgrades to finish, but I finally have my scepter back with it being better than ever and Zenon is now technically Prototype Z-3 and rivals me before my fight with Anime Wendy in terms of sheer power.


"D-Dovah? Where are we?" Zenon stutters. Tenorman gave him human emotions and a human looking body the second time he upgraded him with the latter having a time limit on it, but I made his human-looking body permanent with my own upgrades. I also made no changes to his personality since like I said before, I wanted a friend, not a slave.

"You kind of missed a lot. It's okay though, things worked out in the end. Remember those Time Patrol guys I told you about? Well more came, I almost died, and I made us a new ally slash acquaintance."

"I'm pretty sure we're more than that, babe." Red comes in without even bothering to knock and introduces herself to Zenon who's almost as jittery as Tweek.

"Awww, he's so adorable. We're keeping him, right?"

"He's his own person, Red. Doesn't matter that he isn't technically human, that saying still applies." I tell her before filling Zenon in on the rest and we then begin to come up with a new game plan.

The Time Patrol is probably going to catch on to what happened eventually and while Red has guaranteed that they can't find this place, I don't intend to hide here forever.

I was originally planning on going to Imaginationland, but I now feel like the best course of action is to learn more about my antichrist powers.

My discoveries revolving around my cyrokinetic powers showed me that I should put slightly more focus on mastering my current powers instead of looking for new ones. It's not like I'm gonna go cold turkey on getting more abilities since I already have a few more that I want in mind. I just want to make sure my main classes are 'up to date' so to speak.

And for my Demon Child class, who better to ask for help than Lucifer himself?

Continua llegint

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