P.I.T: Game - Tenorman's Revenge (beginning), Year 2546
Kyle's POV:
"Hey guys, this might be important."
"Mmf. mfmfmff mfff mmf Mffffmfmf." We're all staring at some giant ring thing in front of a giant Tenorman statue right now. I know we've done some pretty crazy shit over the years but chasing fatasses' half-brother that's somehow an even bigger asshole than him 500 years into the future to get our Xbox cartridge back is definitely among the top half.
You know, this ring kind of looks like a future TV or billboard or something. Maybe there's something on it that can help?
"Hey, can we get instructions from these?"
"Whatever, instructions are for pussies!" That explains why you never do anything right, fatass.
The ground then starts to shake and several orange portals open up with ginger kids coming from the other side. God damnit, why is it that whenever I try to disprove Cartman's stupid stereotypes, shit like this happens?
"Gingers! Kill them!" Fatass then screams something in German and jumps on one with its fake skin falling off to reveal a fucking android thing with freckles.
"GINGER BOTS! KILL THEM!" He then screams something in German again and starts beating up the first robot while the other two quickly approach the rest of us.
They never arrive though as a golden scepter and red trident each impale one before the robots blow up. Some kid with brown hair then lands in front of us and calls those weapons back to him.
"Hey dudes. How's it going, fellow Time Child?" Huh? There's more of them?
I thought Cartman was bullshitting about the whole "Time Child" thing, but after he pulled out some futuristic-looking phone, called what sounded like a sea otter, and then had a fucking portal open up in his living room which took us 500 something years into the future, I was inclined to believe his claims about that.
"The fuck, there's more time kids? Since fucking when?"
"Can't really give you an exact time since traveling to different points in time is kind of our thing. Anyway, I'm here to help you take down Tenorman."
"Oh, well why didn't you say so? Welcome aboard, New Kid. Did he steal your Xbox cartridge too or what?"
"It's Dovah and no, I'm not here for that. You'll see what I mean in a bit but I don't really have an interest in your Xbox cartridge. You can have it when we stop him. Now c'mon, let's go!" The five of us then move forward while looking around at the ginger-infested future.
Dovah's POV:
That went pretty smoothly all things considered. Cartman must really want his Xbox data back if he's willing to accept me so quickly. Whatever, I see no reason to complain.
As for enemies, if baseball bats and crowbars can tear them apart, then these guys are childsplay to me.
Side note - the ginger bots here are only slightly stronger than the ones I dealt with in the Nahkriin war despite the technology on this Earth being far more advanced than modern-day Earth tech. Looks like Tenorman was going for quantity rather than quality here.
(("Scanning... scanning... 'Time Particles' found. Begin collecting?")) I was wondering where those things were. Go for it.
In this collect-a-thon multiplayer platformer game, these things called Time Particles are all over the place and you're supposed to collect as many as possible to get a better score on levels by increasing the 'time' your character's timer has. They weren't massive particles floating around everywhere like in the game, but T.K. was still able to pick them up because of the massive upgrades it got recently.
They're still all around us, just really, really small, like the size you would expect a particle to be instead of being almost as big as the kids themselves like in the game. I have T.K. discreetly collect them for further analysis since if these things can say, upgrade my timefart powers even further, then I would totally go completionist mode in this game just for that, let alone all the other time shit here.
As for Time Cores, they also weren't floating around like in game, but I'm willing to bet a few of the gingers have cores on them so I have T.K. scan the area for any time cores like the one I got from that Time Patroller Jimmy.
While we are making our way through this first section of the game, the gingers and the future humans and super intelligent sea otters featured in season 10's "Go God Go" (a couple of which I may have secretly absorbed a bit later to get a boost in natural intelligence) are having an all out war with each other that is a lot more destructive than what was shown in the game. The waves of gingerbots and creations from Mephesto's lab coming after us weren't making things any easier.
Yeah, the other type of main enemy in this game are some of Mephesto's... creations which are mainly multi-assed chimera hybrids of various animals. They aren't much tougher then the robots, but fuck, do they look freaky up close.
Team Stan was holding their own like in canon using bats, guns, and crowbars and I'm having no problem tearing them apart myself, but I decided to give my allies an extra helping hand to speed these combat sections up a bit.
"Okay, there are waaay too many of these guys to deal with like this. This sounds like a job for Coon and Friends!"
In the game, there are sections where one of the boys' superhero alter egos can be used to help get by areas. Each superhero has a time limit before they return to normal, but they have their own abilities as well.
Coon can use his claws to climb up walls and other vertical areas, Human Kite can glide over extended gaps and pits, Toolshed can use his drill to unlock new areas by drilling through dirt and other materials on the soft side, and Mysterion gets a similar buff to his immortality as his Nazi Zombie self in SOT does with him being able to get through fatal traps as a ghost before instantly respawning.
These superhero powers have a time limit in game but there is no such limit here thanks to my magic. I use my Netherborn powers to change them into their costumes and they react as you would expect them to.
"Woah dude!"
"Sweet!"
"How'd you do that?"
"Just one of my own powers. Now let's go kick some metallic ginger ass!"
Side Note - to make up for my clothes beam not being able to create metal out of thin air, I stopped time and quickly had T.K. use the metal around us to make Coon's claws and Toolshed's tool kit. The others didn't notice as this was when time was stopped so to them, it looked like the clothes beam made their complete costumes. I'll have to look into upgrading that creation ability somehow in the future.
Things get much easier as the heroes here aren't limiting themselves to using the one superhero ability they have in game. Coon's claws shred gingerbots to pieces while Toolshed uses his arsenal of power tools in a similar fashion to his TFBW self, collecting new future gadgets in the process as we go on.
While this is happening, I'm having T.K. suck up all the time particles he can find into myself and look for worthwhile things to merge with.
Along with their superhero abilities, each kid has a regular ability with Cartman's 'belly barge' being able to knock over walls and bounce, Stan being able to stun enemies by throwing footballs at them, Kyle removing his hat and using his Jewfro to get into areas only accessible to ginger kids, and Kenny being able to jump higher than any other character in game.
Everyone except Stan utilizes their normal abilities too as Stan doesn't have an infinite amount of footballs in his hammerspace and even if he did, his tools are much more effective against the enemy so what would be the point of using the former?
I show off a little too and use a wide variety of my Netherborn and Satanic powers to turn entire armies of gingerbots into scrap metal.
As we travel around the gingeropolis, I also have T.K. do what Butters did in my own world and absorb as much power or energy from structures, weapons, and gingerbots as possible, slowly increasing my own strength as a result.
I also have it absorb chunks of future structure stuff that can be used to upgrade parts of me according to T.K's scanners. Anything not directly absorbed into me is put into my satanic bag of holding for future use.
Unlike the Big Bad Crippled Potato in a certain anime, I can take a whole lot more than just powers from living beings. I'm not even limited to living beings here!
The first time the boys notice it, they freak out as they remember what Trapper Keeper did to Cartman way back when, but I assure them that this one is completely under my control and I'm not going to turn into a giant blob monster thing that wants to murder everything that breathes.
We eventually meet Tenorman himself who in hindsight, shouldn't have come to confront them in person without his giant mech or robot army or something. He isn't exactly the most sane individual though after what Cartman did to him so I should probably cut him some slack.
'Scott Tenorman...'
Flashback - Dovah's POV:
"Evil can only exist if the good do nothing! Their inaction, it becomes their consent!" I declare as I make my way into Tenorman's broken mech.
The other leaders besides Memberboss should've been wiped out from those nukes. They won't be winning against me ever again.
"But I'm not like that, Tenorman. I'm not like that anymore! I will stand up... AND I WILL STOP YOU!!!"
"You really have gone crazy. You're lost in your own thinking. I didn't manage to kill you in the end *cough* , but I at least pushed you far enough."
"Well you look like you've seen better days yourself." I mock as I stand over what's left of the ginger.
I'm surprised he managed to not get completely incinerated alongside his allies from the nukes I dropped, but it's nothing I can't fix.
"Touche. *cough cough* I suppose coming out personally this early wasn't the greatest idea ever. It was especially crazy considering who my opponents were, but how could anyone be sane after going through what Eric did to me?"
"Sanity and intelligence are two different things, Tenorman. Look at mad scientists and Eric Cartman-"
"And you? Before you kill me, at least answer one question I still have. Was this mutually assured destruction plan my brother's idea or yours? Who killed their own army in the process of killing mine?"
I form a Soul Slash to cut the fucker into pieces and he can only chuckle during his last moments.
"...Looks like even the Dragonborn can be corrupted in the end."
"I never really saw myself as one to begin with, Tenorman."
Present:
At least Karen and Cthulhu stopped me before I could do any more damage. But they aren't around to hold me back this time. It's up to me and me alone to make sure that I don't go too far.
...How terrifying for everyone.
'Seems like the mechanized army isn't the only similarity between this Tenorman and the one in my timeline.'
While I could just kill him right then and there, I want the entire game to play out as there is so much to gain by going through all of it, so I let him and Cartman have a battle of words before going back to destroying ginger bots.
"Not bad boys, not bad at all. But unfortunately for you, I'm just getting started." Fine by me, Tenorman. Fine by me.
We continue to traverse the future city while hopping through portals every once in a while that are really fucking disorienting. No wonder the boys land flat on their faces so often when they exit them.
T.K. continues to grow through siphoning energy, collecting data, and merging with whatever useful stuff it can find. Ever since I upgraded it with alien tech, the merging process has been much faster and only seems to be getting even better as both the A.I. and my body grow stronger.
I also get some new abilities thanks to all the technology I've merged with like forcefields, reflector shields, and short range teleportation like Timmy. This place is like an all you can eat buffet for T.K. and I'm enjoying every second of it.
"Do you like my robots, Eric? They're half ginger, just like you!"
"AAAHHH!"
"Awww, don't be mad. My best invention has yet to come! Hahaha."
"ASSHOLE!!!" Tenorman continues to taunt Cartman as we traverse the future and Cartman still never thinks of actually going over there and just stopping his half-bro while he's defenseless. I get why that doesn't happen in the game (because plot), but in real life, that's just stupid of him.
The last time I fought against Tenorman was when I was in Nahkriin and I went straight for the kill there. I didn't succeed originally thanks to the multiple armies backing the ginger up, but I still put in the effort. I want this to play out Cartman, what's your excuse?
During our journey, I managed to convince the boys to look through every nook and cranny of the areas we travel to, or in gamer terms, go the completionist route so I can get as many time particles and pieces of future tech here as possible. It couldn't hurt to check if Tenorman actually hid your hard drive there, or there, or there.
All these different tasks led to us spending a few days in the future before confronting Tenorman for his boss fight with me offering to guard the others when they slept at night. I summoned some milk spawn and creatures from hell to do that for me while I fly away and use these chances to really go all out.
Countless amounts of wires and flesh erupt out of me while I go around destroying anything that tries to stop the absorption process. I'm like a fucking natural disaster as I sweep through the future world, a natural disaster that's only growing stronger as more time passes.
My plan with T.K. is basically a real life version of those .io games where you start out small and eat smaller things to get bigger so you can eat bigger things, only I'm limited by power, not size. While I'm currently more powerful than most of the things present in South Park, there are still some beings here I don't want to risk a confrontation with yet.
Cthulhu is an example of this since he is far stronger in his own realm than on Earth (and also one-shot me while at full power before). Guys like Satan and Damien have a similar issue with their powers being limited on Earth as well. Otherwise, why would the former ask Stan in season 18's "Freemium isn't Free" if he could possess him to confront his rival, the Canadian Devil?
There's also the fact that Bradley beat Cthulhu back in season 14 and I was far stronger than him when I got one-shot by the god shortly before Butters fucked everything up. Karen even said that she and the goths intentionally took the extra steps needed to summon the guy at full power.
Satan can't stay in the overworld for long and is heavily weakened up there unless certain measures are taken like what happened in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. There are also several episodes in the show where Satan is shown using all sorts of dark magic in hell but he doesn't really do that on Earth.
I asked Damien about it but he never confirmed it and while he and Satan can use some supernatural powers on Earth, their powers did feel limited when I took a closer look at it during Season 1's "Damien".
My energy sensing combined with T.K.'s scanning gives me a much better read on people now than ever before and I was curious about that theory of mine so I observed the two while mastering my time jumping powers before coming here.
As I am now, I'm not confident that I can defeat and merge with either Satan or Cthulhu at their best, but that's what this time trip is for. Just one more small step in my master plan.
Besides taking breaks for resting, we also need to eat and drink shit to stay alive. I actually made a quick detour to a Casa Bonita again to stock up on food using my Satanic Bag of Holding. I was running low after my trip to planet Fogil.
Not once did Team Stan eat anything during this game despite them pretty much fighting non-stop for days on end, but that was a video game. This is real life and I have no fucking idea how these guys survive this adventure since they didn't bring jack shit to eat during this adventure.
They probably would've just raided restaurants or something like that along the way if I wasn't here, but I am here so Casa Bonita food it is. Luckily for me, food (and anything else, really) doesn't age or go bad when I put it in my Satanic Bag of Holding. That probably explains why the kids Chip kidnapped during that Season 21 episode were perfectly fine after being stuck in there for a few days (besides the mental trauma).
The five of us eventually approach the first boss arena in the game where Tenorman reveals his titan-sized gingermech.
"Why hello down there! Hahahaha."
"Oh dude, lame."
"What do you think of my new creation? And don't think that your time child buddy is going to save you this time; I made something extra special for him!" Well, this should be interesting.
"Really now? Well that's a relief because I doubt I'll get much of a fight from your automaton of fun. Well? C'mon, Tenorman. Go ahead and bring it out because-" I don't get the chance to finish as I'm suddenly punched so hard, I get sent flying out of the building and through several others.
"What the?!?" A dark black gingerbot with glowing red eyes and a glowing red diamond on its chest suddenly arrives a few dozen feet away from me via teleportation. It has no freckles on its face and just floats in place using the jet thrusters on its feet. I then hear Tenorman's voice emitting from it while recovering the bit of damage I just took.
"Hahahaha, you didn't think I would just sit there and let you destroy everything I built, did you? I don't know why you're here, but I won't let anyone get in the way of my revenge! I have to thank you though, you showed me that bigger isn't always better so I decided to make a special gingerbot with all the power and resources my own future world has to offer! Meet the new commander of my gingerbot army, Prototype Z-1!"
'Prototype Z-1? That name sounds kind of familiar to something I saw in my original reality. T.K?'
(("Searching memories... data shows no matches of 'Prototype Z-1'. However, there was a gingerbot of similar design featured in a South Park fan-made series called 'Prototype X-1' or 'Xenon'.")) Oh yeah, I remember watching that massive collaborative fan project on Youtube back in my first life. I guess Tenorman is afraid of the possible copyright that came with building this thing.
(A/N: I am too. I'll occasionally reference something major created in the South Park fandom like HellPark or MiraiPark to pay homage to it, but I'm limiting myself to only slight references and parodies due to potential copyright problems.
What I'm referencing now is a South Park OC (Prototype X-1/Xenon) made by a guy who created a giant fan series collaboration project involving many South Park OCs throughout the fandom back in the mid 2010s called 'The Untold Chronicles of South Park'. This fan-made series was referenced in Chp 53's "A Very Angry Guardian Angel" as well.
The channel name is FlipReaperZ in case anyone's curious, but it was taken down years ago due to drama and major issues the channel's creator had that I don't really know the details about as I wasn't a part of this project myself. I'm just a fan who wanted to pay homage to this massive fan-made project in my own story.)
(("The fan series you are referring to was never created in this reality. Therefore-")) Hold that thought, the big bad bot is summoning some drones to fight.
(("Those aren't drones. They are the ginger bots you have been facing for-")) Figure of speech, T.K.
"I thought you wanted to show me your new toy, Tenorman, not throw more useless mechanical bodies at the problem!" He doesn't respond and I tear the ginger's bots apart one by one while keeping my eye on the prototype.
I was expecting a sneak attack at first but it seems like it's just floating there, doing nothing. I then realize what it's up to after dealing with most of the squadron.
'It's sacrificing pawns to gather data on me. Clever. This one really is different from the others. Hey T.K, can you plant a bug on it? This thing might prove to be a very valuable ally in the future.'
(("Understood. Physical contact required to start marking and backdoor entry process.")) I finish beating up the bots while making sure to use as many of my powers as possible. I want Tenorman to put 110% into creating my soon-to-be ally, so might as well give him a little push.
'Let's go with... Soul Slash and Pentakill plus Unholy Combustion mixed with Ghastly Grasp and Power Bind. I'll also add on Grim Fate, Satanic Seal, Berry Shield, and Dire Shroud. The crab king's scepter boost too.
Strength enhancer times 3, defense boost times 3, and should I add lifesteal too? No, robots aren't even alive to begin with. This should be enough of an opening act.'
I charge towards it after destroying the last of its minions and it fires a laser blast at me from its eyes, but I match it with Unholy Combustion. I do have to hold back quite a bit as while it's pretty strong now, I've fought against far worse in the past. But holding back doesn't mean I can't show off all my powers.
If I were to rank it, this thing would probably give a full power Damien a run for his money if he has enough time to grow and learn during the fight. Future tech really is something else, isn't it?
We continue to clash while I have some milk spawn keep an eye on team Stan's fight with Tenorman and his mech. They seem to be using the same strategy in canon so I leave them be.
I play around with the prototype for a solid hour or so, showing off more and more as the fight goes on. If Tenorman buffs his army to fight me, I'll only get stronger when I have T.K. merge with them, so by all means Scott, buff your side up.
'Wall of Hellfire, Nocturnal Eruption and Milky Discharge to make sure he can't dodge or escape the other two attacks. This along with a few strength enhancers should do it.'
The android gets beat up more and more as time passes on and it eventually retreats when Tenorman's personal mech is defeated. It flies into the portal Tenorman made to escape in canon, albeit with some trouble as its jet boots malfunction a bit and I fly back over to where team Stan is.
"Are you guys alright?"
"We're fine, dude. What about you?"
(("Trapper Keeper connected with Prototype Z-1. Beginning backdoor access and encryption."))
"I'm doing pretty good myself."