I leave the giant crater that was once a mountain range several hours later. I'm fucking exhausted both physically and mentally from letting everything out like that, but I do start to feel better (emotionally) already.
I luckily have just enough energy left to fly back to South Park and I head over to Wendy's house as soon as I get back to the not-so quiet, little mountain town. I make sure to text her beforehand as me just heading over and knocking on her window or something in the middle of the night would be super fucking creepy.
FutureChat:
FDB (FutureDragonBorn): hey heading back now. Thanks for the tip btw. helped a ton
CallGirl: Just how powerful are you Dovah? Bebe and I thought you were kidding about the earthquakes but South Park got hit with a 6.5 Magnitude one a bit after you left!
FDB: sorry about that. guess I didn't fly far enough away. mind if I come over to your place again?
CallGirl: Sure I'll leave my window open. sys
'Jeez, I hope the damage to the town wasn't too bad. Well, with how fast this town can rebuild itself, it should be fine. But then again...'
Flashback - Several Hours Ago...
"Of all the STUPID!"
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
"ASININE!"
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
"SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT THAT COULD'VE FUCKED ME OVER!"
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
"IT WAS FUCKING BUTTERS!?!"
*BOOOOOOOOOM* *BOOOOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOM* *BOOOM* *BOOOOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOM* *KRAKOOOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOM*
[Insert Power-up Yell]
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Present:
'I guess I should just go into orbit the next time I go apeshit. That should help avoid any collateral damage.'
I meet up with Wendy again and give her a brief rundown of what's supposed to happen in the next few days (TFBW Days 2-4). I could probably come up with a plan myself, but two heads are better then one and Wendy isn't biased towards either superhero team so she can give some good insight on the effects different changes could have.
My goals this time around are far different as well as I'm trying to boost the New Kid's confidence and self esteem so he can live in South Park without becoming another Butters or Scott to the other kids.
It takes around an hour or two but we come up with a decent enough game plan along with a few contingencies for this newest game we're playing. As a thank you for helping me, I decided to turn Wendy into a Netherborn.
Looking back, Kenny, Timmy, and I really should have powered up our allies more. We were so focused on ourselves that we left our allies to their own devices most of the time, resulting in them becoming far weaker then they would've been if they had our full support. Of course, we couldn't reveal too much to them, but giving them some more power with few, if any, negative consequences coming from it wouldn't have hurt.
I started to get that mentality towards the end of my stay in my own South Park timeline after Karen gave Tricia the Netherborn power-up (and used that as an example to prove her point).
Karen had told me what the member berries' opinions on me were after the war as well. Her agreeing with most of their opinions really got me to do some reflecting and I ended up taking that constructive criticism to heart.
I'm going to try and be more selfless to allies from now on and help them get the power and tools they need to improve their own worlds, all while preparing myself to save mine. It's going to change a ton but those changes should mostly be for the better.
...At least in theory.
I leave after giving Wendy a quick tutorial of the Netherborn arsenal and making sure she only uses this as a trump card incase of an emergency as I don't want the butterfly effect screwing us over again. I then head back to New Kid's house and check up on my counterpart.
I decided to have him communicate via text to me and that's worked out pretty well so far. According to him, the quest of getting Classi went a lot like canon, only with the bonus of New Kid emphasizing that he wasn't Scott's sidekick but his partner through text when the diabetic tried to be a dick.
He's already learning how to stick up for himself which I'm really proud of him for and make sure to let him know as much. He even started using his King class powers from Stick of Truth as attacks which I suggested he do.
I don't care if it's from a different game, you have superpowers that can help you here so fucking use them! He apparently used his Hammer of Heavenly Reign on Spontaneous Bootay, knocking her back through the wall she rammed through during her big entrance which I got a good laugh out of.
He's also capable of using his Royal Fisting and Pyroclasm abilities like I theorized, though the latter wasn't really useful since he was inside while fighting and didn't want to demolish the roofs of Buca Di Faggoncini or the Peppermint Hippo.
I had tried my best to advise him on how to use those abilities before we parted ways at Wendy's yesterday and it looks like he got the hang of it rather quickly. That's the New Kid's learning and adaptation speed for you. It's probably the most useful 'power' that came with this body besides being able to slightly manipulate spacetime itself.
Day 2 of the story then arrives with the 'farting vigilante' (aka New Kid) making the news like in canon. While school is going on, I disable the security system at Medicinal Fried Chicken and pay Dr. Mephesto's lab a visit. After Timmy's Zarganor surgery, I became interested in genetic alteration as a way to get stronger and that interest has only increased alongside my desperation.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid and desperate enough to let Mephesto run some of his experiments on me (I'm perfectly happy with a single ass, thank you), but a little basic overview on genetic alteration wouldn't hurt. I already have some big plans for the future and that knowledge may help out a bit with them.
Mephesto gives me a little tour of his lab and explains the basics of genetic alteration which I only understand like 10% of at best. It's still better than nothing and I even freeze time a couple times to quickly skim some of his notes and projects during the tour.
School lets out with New Kid having the same spinning clothes beam power as he does in canon and uses that to equip his superhero costume. I never really tried it myself as I don't have my own superhero costume and I already have my Netherborn clothes beam which is much faster and more versatile.
He gets the mission to get Classi's prescription like in canon and beats up some 6th graders and Chaos Minions with me along the way. We then reach the alley where the Raisin Girls ambush us as we hear the same fake cries for help as in canon.
This confuses me as I got on their good side yesterday so why would they want to ambush us? I text Wendy to head over to the area and have New Kid check it out while I pretend to go on ahead.
I use a Time Pause to get in a hiding spot close to the alley and watch as the Raisin Girls surround New Kid.
"Awww, why didn't both cuties come?"
"It's fine, I'm sure that he alone can take on bug boy for us." I listen in to their conversation and it turns out Clyde decided to eat at Raisins again and bailed from yet another Raisins bill THE SAME FUCKING DAY I GAVE HIM A 30 MINUTE SPEECH TELLING HIM FUCKING NOT TO and they wanted to charm me and New Kid into helping them get payback.
I guess it's kind of like what happened with Clyde back when I did Stick of Truth. Being nice to people you were supposed to become enemies with doesn't usually solve the problem the way you want it to.
They end up charming New Kid and they're all about to head over to Clyde's house when Call Girl stops them through trolling their online accounts like in canon. The girls ditch the plan and head out, leaving New Kid there only for Wendy to drop down and give the same speech as in canon. She even calls him handsome at the end like in canon which I'm pretty sure charms him again.
Maybe he should have put 'Raisin's Girls' as his kryptonite instead.
After raiding some more houses and businesses and beating up more 6th graders and chaos minions, New Kid responds to Kyle's distress signal, or rather tries to before I stop him.
"Don't. It's just not worth dealing with that crazy ass family. You see, past me..." I take a deep breath and begin to sing. "Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch. She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world...."
I sing 'Kyle's Mom's a Bitch' all the way to the drug store where Cartman isn't here to join us this time. I guess he's busy getting his ass kicked by Kyle's mom. Heh.
We both head in where I pretty much just take Cartman's place when talking to Towelie. The sentient towel still goes on a withdrawal rampage but we don't have to rely on his makeshift flamethrower to burn his product this time.
Good news is my flames end the fight much faster and get Towelie high as hell. Bad news is that New Kid and I get high as hell too. I don't know how the hell New Kid and Cartman didn't get high during the fight in canon (as you literally have to burn multiple piles of weed to win) or if they were and just did a good job not showing it, but I ended up getting higher then the fucking human kite.
I texted Wendy to come over and bring some stuff to help New Kid and I sober up, which she did, but I forgot to tell her to bring a gasmask or something similar to protect herself with. Whoops.
That's how I found myself spending a few hours in Medicinal Fried Chicken with Wendy, New Kid, Towelie, and some weed store staff, laughing about that one time Cartman disguised himself as a cardboard robot (Awesome-O) and basically tortured himself trying to get embarrassing footage of himself back from Butters. The fatass literally had to eat toothpaste to survive after a while which was just hilarious to watch.
(A/N: Season 8 Episode 5 "AWESOME-O")
Now don't get me wrong, this was a massive waste of time, but it was a nice waste of time. Towelie wasn't wrong about his products helping with stress.
Speaking of the fat devil, he stormed into the shop a while later looking like he just got hit by a New Jersey truck named Sheila Broflovski. We all turn to stare at his post ass-kicked state and after a few seconds of awkward silence, we all start laughing at him, even New Kid.
"SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!" He then storms out 5 seconds later as we keep on laughing.
The fat asshole is lucky I didn't have New Kid do the optional side quest where he becomes a pimp and Cartman's mom becomes one of his prostitutes. Yes, that's something New Kid can do in this game.
That's also something I would do myself if I was feeling petty enough. Alas, my current problems as well as building up New Kid's confidence are my main priorities right now, not Fucking with Fatass 2: Electric Boogaloo, a sequel to the 3 days of torture I gave my timeline's Cartman back in SOT.
(A/N: Basically the entire Stick of Truth arc. Dovah really let Cartman have it back then.)
New Kid ended up leaving a while later to meet up with Stan like in canon which should lead to the Civil War 2 fight at the small park in the middle of town. As for me, I decided not to take part in that particular fight as I really don't want to fight Kenny or Timmy right now.
Wendy and I leave soon after with me going to give Classi's order back to her which results in her ratting out Butters and his Prof Chaos operations at U-Stor-It. Jimmy isn't here for this like in canon as he and the rest of Coon and Fucks plus New Kid are fighting Freedom Pals at the moment.
Wendy sends me some footage of the fight and I see New Kid kicking ass even more than in canon. His fart and king powers make for a deadly combination that tears the enemy heroes apart.
Speaking of fart powers, I made sure to get him the stuff he needed for time pause and glitch the night before as well and tutored him on how to use those powers before he went to school. Freeman fucking bailed on this timeline so I guess it's up to me to mentor New Kid and I'm fine with that as I'm far more competent than that pathetic excuse of a god.
Stan makes the offer to join Freedom Pals to New Kid and New Kid then goes to do more side quests until the attack on U-Stor-It that night. I made sure he wouldn't go and help the police in particular as what they were doing isn't exactly heroic (arresting every black guy in town so they can be sacrificed to Shub-Niggurath).
He helps Craig and Tweek out a bit, talks to Macky, learns social justice shit from PC Principal, and does most of the other stuff in day two while robbing the entire town blind, completionist style. As for me, I head over to Freedom Pals myself for the next phase of my plan.
When I enter their base, I find Kenny, Tolkien, Timmy, and Stan patching their wounds with Tweek helping where he can.
"You guys look like you've seen better days."
"AAHHH!"
"Huh?"
"Who th- NEW KID?! How did you get here and since when do you talk?" Stan asks the two separate million-dollar questions and I give him his answers.
"I'm not the New Kid, I'm his older twin brother, Dovah. I came down to South Park yesterday and decided to try out these roleplay games you guys are doing. Now then, let's get down to business. My brother will be accepting Toolshed's offer, but not now."
"Not now? Why not now?"
"The Coon is going to have the New Kid join Freedom Pals as a spy tomorrow. He's going to be playing double agent however and fuck over Coon and Friends by giving them whatever false info you guys decide on giving him.
Before that happens, Coon and Friends will be attacking Professor Chaos at U-Stor-It tonight and need Toolshed's help to clear out some lava around the storage facility."
A few start to ask questions but I shush them.
"As for me, I'll be leaving Cartman's team myself but I won't be with Freedom Pals either. I'll be doing my own thing and help out when necessary. My brother should be more than enough permanent help considering how badly he kicked your asses earlier. You guys need- Timmy, don't try reading my mind; that's not gonna work."
I expel Timmy's telepathy in an instant through sheer willpower alone which shocks the hero crew. I've been forced to train for years to defend and repel against mental attacks from a far stronger Timmy so this is nothing.
The cripple's training motivated me to get better at resisting telepaths. His pranks motivated me more.
I still remember that one April Fools prank where the guy used his powers to force everyone in South Park into doing the Kazotsky Kick from TF2 with a custom soundtrack echoing around the city-sized impromptu dance floor.
It was funny for the first 10 minutes or so. The crippled fucker kept it going for over 3 hours. I'm pretty sure Cartman got another heart attack halfway through if his facial expressions were anything to go by.
Didn't kill him though. The fatass will shrug off heart attacks and live out of sheer spite, something season 23's "Let Them Eat Goo" made very clear.
Back to Timmy's crazy feats, he once even used his telepathic abilities to push me far into the Earth itself during one of our last few spars outside the base (he didn't want it getting wrecked again after the Star Destroyer incident).
I managed to dig myself out, but being buried almost 500 miles below the Earth's surface still hurts like hell. Taking Zarganor's powers into himself via experimental surgery made him way more overpowered than he already was.
Sucks that ManBearPig was even more dangerous, especially as a Nazi Zombie.
I then use four of my healing abilities, Dire Shroud, Baleful Blessing, Satanic Seal, and Dark Blessing to each heal a Freedom Pal.
Satanic Seal in particular normally offers protection or 'shield' instead of healing (along with attack up and cleanse of negative status effects), but it could originally provide regeneration to the target for a few turns (aka a little while) as well.
The latter was probably taken out right before the DLC released because while Henrietta is mainly a support fighter, an ability that gives someone 3 buffs and cleanses them of all debuffs is a little ridiculous, even if it can only be used on one target per turn.
Remember me mentioning how several of my powers have evolved overtime? This is one of them. With Satanic Seal at the 'pre-release level' of power, I'm able to have it heal, strengthen, shield, and cleanse whoever I apply it to. It takes a bit more energy to cast than before as a result, but I have energy by the shitload right now so that one downside is pretty much rendered useless.
That's not the only power that was nerfed before that particular DLC came out either. The Netherborn ability, Dire Shroud, could originally provide the 'Invisibility' buff as well when used on an ally or yourself making it so enemies don't attack that person unless they're the only person on your side left.
It's basically magical camouflage and yes, my own Dire Shroud has evolved to include that ability too. Jimmy had it as well thanks to his 'Blind Side' ability as Fastpass and it helps when used correctly in group battles, but considering that all my own allies are either dead or still stuck in my own timeline, it probably won't be very helpful for me in more intense battles in the future. Battles where New Kid and Wendy would only get in the way.
Even so, it's the proof that this provides that my abilities can evolve to begin with that's really important here.
"Woah, dude! What was that? I feel way better now!"
"Those were some of my healing abilities. I healed your team as a gesture of good will. I know you're still suspicious of me, but let my brother prove he means you guys no harm. He only wants friendship.
All I ask in return is that you treat him like a Freedom PAL. No treating him like shit or a slave or calling him a stupid newbie butthole. Stick of Truth and the last few days should've proven how capable he is."
I then start to let out some purple flames and a killing intent similar to that of a certain hero killer in anime.
"I'll only be saying this once. Treat my brother well or you WILL be paying the price. I'm warning you, I make people like Damien look like fucking angels in comparison and not even immortality will save you from me." I make sure to stare right at Kenny as I say that last part which he seems to pick up on while he's shitting himself in sheer terror.
I then stop when the heroes look like they're seconds from passing out.
"Toolshed should be getting an anonymous email soon asking for him to pay back the New Kid's favor. An ally of mine that isn't a Coon and Friend will also be assisting you during the U-Stor-It raid. I'll let you guys handle the rest. Until we meet again, Freedom Pals."
Stan's POV:
'What the FUCK just happened?!' I feel like I'm about to throw up and pass out and Tweek actually does pass out right after that guy left.
Even Mysterion looks like he's about to shit himself and not even Cthulhu scared that guy! A buzz on my phone breaks the silence after a few minutes and sure enough, it's an anonymous email saying that New Kid is ready to cash in that favor.
"...Okay, can anyone t-tell me what the hell just happened?" Tupperware stutters. A horrible thought then suddenly pops up in my head.
"You guys, do you think that kid could possibly be the kingpin we've been looking for?"
(("If he was the kingpin, then we would all be dead the second we tried to stand in his way.")) Dr. Timothy responds solemnly and I can't help but agree with his answer. I just hope his ally is less scary than him. Same goes for New Kid. If he really is that guy's brother, does that mean New Kid has a fucking demonic side as well?
Wait a second...
Another Flashback - Several Hours Ago...
"Holy shit, dudes! Turn on the news or something. A mountain range just exploded!"
I give Tolkien a weird look as Tweek turns on one of the guy's many TVs and changes the channel to 'Channel 9 Morning News'.
"Rick Watts here coming to you live from the bottom of Park Range where an estimated 85 percent of the mountain chain was obliterated sometime last night by what seems to be various nuclear explosives. This is currently believed to be the cause of the 6.5 magnitude earthquake that recently hit most of Colorado."
The camera then pans up slightly to better frame the destroyed range that has purple fire burning everywhere and purple lightning occasionally flashing across chunks of it.
"At this time, the casualties seem to be in the hundreds as mountain climbers had very little time to escape the calamity. Citizens are advised to stay away as residue of the explosions in the form of purple fire and lightning appear to still be scattered all throughout what was once a 110 mile-long mountain range."
"Purple fire?"
"ACK! What if it's the government testing a new bomb? What if they use it to nuke us like they tried to when we were playing Stick of Truth?! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"
(("Calm down, Tweek. If anything, this phenomena feels unnatural. No nuclear explosives should come anywhere close to that much power and detonating so many at once in a random mountain range sounds crazy, even for them. Perhaps it's the Visitors again."))
"THAT MAKES IT WORSE! THEY'RE GONNA ENSLAVE US!!! THE EARTH IS DOOMED!!!"
Present:
'...Fuck.'
(("Fuck indeed, Toolshed.")) Looks like Timmy read my thoughts. Looks like Timmy agrees with me too. Fuck.
Dovah's POV:
'That should have been enough to get the memo across.' I think and congratulate myself on a job well done. I didn't even flinch at the sight of this timeline's Kenny and Timmy, excluding the act I just put on of course. Letting my anger out like that yesterday really helped out a ton. That and the smoke sesh.
It's almost night time and I message Wendy to head over to Chaos' lair now. Hopefully things go a little more smoothly this time around since Butters never pursued his powers in this timeline.
That's another thing I need to watch out for. While I plan to help my allies more, I need to be much more careful when choosing said allies as I never know when one of them might pull the same stunt Butters did. I won't let that happen ever again.
Well all things considered, I don't really need to worry about that issue right now as nobody could reach my level of power from nothing after only a couple days. Hell, I cheesed everything I could think of in South Park and it still took me around half a decade to become this powerful!
Anyways, enough about me. New Kid, Wendy, you're up.