Oh god, I'm ashamed of myself!!
I don't even want to think about how long it's been since I last uploaded, or how bad this chapter is for that matter. I'm sorry guys, I've been terrible lately!
Hopefully, I'll be able to upload sooner, but GCSE's are all here and god is it hard.
But you know, he's a chapter. It's a little shitty, and I don't really like it if I'm honest but you guys deserve an upload so here it is...
Please, even though it's crap, votes and comments will be seriously apperciated!
Thank you guys for still reading... I LOVE YOU ALL!!
Enjoy <3
'It’s a funny thing about coming home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You’ll realize what’s changed is you.'
Dylan’s POV
Since reading that article, my parents are all I’ve thought of. They’re dead, and I’ll never see them again. I know I should hate them for how they treated me over the years and I know some part of me should feel like they’ve been given what they deserve in some ways, but I can’t get myself to think like that. I can’t be happy about their death; I can only feel sorrow for them.
I knew sooner or later that their lifestyle would kill them in the end. Nobody’s that lucky to survive for too long with the decisions that they made. Drugs, drink, pressure, that’s what ended it for them.
Yet, I still can’t figure out how they planned their death to be exact. Was it planned this way, or completely accidental? The whole situation is too sudden and confusing.
I know one thing for sure; I need to read that letter. It’s the only thing that could possibly tell me everything that I need to know about what happened to them. It could tell me why they died and how they died. It could tell me about everything to do with my upbringing and why it was the way it was.
And I need to know.
“You want to go back to England next week?” Katy asks me as I come walking through the door after going to the supermarket, chocolate spread and magazine in hand.
“Yeah,” I say, handing her the spread but holding the magazine back.
“How come?”
“Because of this,” it’s then that I show her the front page where my parent’s faces sit.
She gasps a little as she reads the headline, pulling the magazine closer so she can read the article. Luckily right now Kyle and Amy are in their room, I would hate for them to hear about us moving so quickly just as they were getting used to the idea.
“I’m so sorry Dylan,” she says, looking into my eyes with sadness, “Are you okay?”
I think about that for a second, am I okay?
It was a shock to walk by the magazine and to see of my parent’s death, nothing could have prepared me for that. I do feel sad that they’re dead, there’s so much now that I’ll never get to say to them, so many things I’ll never ask. I wish I had told them everything now when I had the chance.
“I’m okay, I think,” I admit to her. She pulls me towards her and into a hug. I love her hugs, they make me feel warm.
“So what do you need to find in England about your parents?” she asks me.
“They left me a letter. Their deaths were so sudden and the fact that they were together is strange, so I’m hoping that everything I need to know will be in that letter. There may even be answers to my whole life in there,” I tell her, watching as her face stays sympathetic.
“Then we’ll go, you need this closure Dylan, you’ll crazy if you don’t,” and here is why I am in love with this girl, she understands me.
“Hello passengers, this is your captain speaking. Our estimated departing time is in roughly five minutes, please be ready for take-off, thank you.”
I look over to Katy to see her shoving as much chocolate as a human possibly can into her mouth, her crazing’s are seriously funny to watch.
Sitting here, on the plane to London, I feel the nerves settle in. I’m going to see my dead parents and to find out what happened to them. I never thought this would happen.
Even though I knew about their risky life choices and habits, I guess some part of me always believed that they would cheat fate and live forever. I guess I was wrong.
Karma caught up with them in the end, and now they’re dead.
I also can’t help but wondering what they’ve been up to all these years.
I’ve seen different articles over the years, of mum or dad stumbling out of a club or at some red carpet event. I’ve seen different movie posters, telling me that they hadn’t given up on their career as actors and were clinging onto their fame. I saw these posters and the adverts, but yet I could never bring myself to watch any of their new films.
I guess I didn’t want to sit there and watch them be people that they weren’t; pretend their lives are completely different, when I knew the truth.
They were miserable, plain and simple, and no amount of movie roles or money could ever change that fact.
I just wish things had gone differently for them.
Maybe if they never were famous, they never would have turned into the people they were. Maybe they would have loved their child, treated them the way they should be treated and brought them up in a happy environment.
Maybe they would have filled their heads with word of encouragement instead of doubt, boosted their self-esteem instead of smashing it to pieces.
Maybe they would have loved me.
The plane starts moving forward and I clip my seatbelt into place.
Katy reaches over and starts clinging onto my hand in a death grip. She once told me that she hates flying, she says it feels unnatural to be that high in the sky when we were always meant for the ground.
It doesn’t help that a couple of weeks ago Kyle made her watch the first final destination with a plane crash. Now I think she’s truly shitting it.
I pull her towards me and rest her head onto my chest.
“I promise you Katy Taylor, we are going to be okay,” I whisper into her ear before kissing her head.
“I believe you,” I hear her whisper back before clinging onto me that much tighter.
The plane starts getting faster and faster, propelling us back into our seats as it picks up the pace. This is the bit of flying that I hate.
It’s the waiting, the speeding down the runway with the hope that we get enough speed to fly. Luckily this time we have enough speed to fly.
We go soaring into the sky, watching as the clouds gets bigger and the ground gets smaller. People become ants, houses become dots and the ground slowly starts to disappear.
Katy takes her head off my chest and looks up out the window. She watches as the clouds start passing our window and we can see across the whole sky.
“Pretty amazing huh?” I ask her.
“Yeah…we still belong on the ground,” Katy points out.
I just laugh at her before handing her a headphone for the little TV on the back of the seat and put a film on for us to watch.
Time to kill a few hours.
After watching three films, sleeping for a bit and just talking, we’re suddenly landing.
My ears start popping as we get closer to the ground, and the people once again are starting to look like people. Katy’s head is once again resting on my chest as she clings onto me. I don’t mind this bit as much as I do the taking off, I like coming down back to the ground compared with going up to the clouds.
Before we know it, we’re home in England.
As soon as we can, we exit the plane and feel the chill in the air that’s a world apart from the warmth of California. This is what I grew up with, I’ve missed it.
“Ah it’s been a while since I’ve had to wear a coat…” Katy says, pulling her jacket on and tight around her waist.
“I’ve missed the English weather,” I admit to her.
“You must be crazy! Seriously, you’ve missed this cold?” she asks, her face shocked as she wraps her arms around my waist to get some of my heat.
“Yeah, California is too hot sometimes. I was always used to the rain and the cold.”
“Point taken, cold weather is still horrible,” Katy laughs as we walk towards baggage claim and passport control.
It feels good to look around us and to hear the English accent. It’s not such a rarity as it is in California, and we blend in here better with it. In America, people like to make a big deal of our accents.
Everything looks so familiar here, as if we never left. It’s good to be home.
England, I’ve missed you…
We hire out a car, and suddenly I’m trying to remember how to drive in England again. Remembering that we drive on the left here instead of the right is harder than I thought it would be. And all the roundabouts are nearly foreign to me now.
I used to be able to drive London with no problem; I could handle to roads easily, now it’s harder to remember it all.
But I still remember the way back to my house as if I was here yesterday.
I don’t know what to expect when I get there. I don’t know if the police will still be there, or what’s happened to Lucinda, our maid, and I have no clue what to expect when people find out that I’m home.
If I came back a year ago, I would have gone unnoticed. But since this has all happened, I’m fresh in people’s memories.
“Maybe I should invest in a wig,” I think out loud.
“Please don’t,” Katy pleads as she inhales another spoonful of chocolate spread. My child is going to come out addicted to chocolate.
“Why not?” I ask.
“Right now you’re an easy ten on any hotness scale, with a wig you will easily slip down to an eight. Do you want that?” she looks over at me with a little bit of chocolate on her nose.
I reach over and wipe it off, licking my finger to get it off.
“No, I don’t want my hotness slipping,” I laugh at her.
“I didn’t think so,” she smiles as she once again manages to get chocolate on her nose.
This time I leave it, it looks cute on her.
Once I pull up outside the mansion that I once called home, all the memories come back.
Mum screaming, dad shouting, me hiding. The verbal abuse I got every time I came home, and the looks of disgust I would get just for simply being there. That’s something I don’t miss about London.
From here I can see the balcony of my bedroom. I had many frustrated cigarettes standing there, many nights of looking at the stars and pretending I was somewhere else.
The balcony was my place of escape and I loved it.
But staring at it all now, I can’t help but feel terrified for everything that I’m about to find.
Time to find out the whole truth.