It's currently April first here in South Park so you know what that means... PRANKING LIKE THERE'S NO FUCKING TOMORROW!!!
Every April first I've been here (excluding the first one, we were still recovering from SOT) has been filled to the brim with pranks. The first year I did it, Leslie and I teamed up to get the rest of Craig and those guys good a few times but they retaliated by paying one of the Raisin Girls who knew a thing or two about acting to dress up as Leslie and distracted the real one while the fake one went on a date with me.
The talk with the real Leslie afterwards was awkward as fuck. Especially with the fake still there, claiming to be the real one alongside the real one. I got them back though by having Timmy spam his telekinesis at literally everything not nailed down in their houses to make them think they were being haunted.
Clyde actually hired an exorcist the next day when he was done shitting himself in sheer terror but it turned out to be a fucking nutjob who walks around with a bible filled with blank pages and multiple snakes hidden in his pants. I'm pretty sure the guy also had severe snake venom-related brain damage. Both ended up going to hospital after the guy pissed off his pants snakes and they got extra bitey.
(A/N: Anyone know the reference? Hint: This guy is in another animated cartoon show that isn't Family Guy or The Simpsons)
The first few years were all (somewhat) fun and games minus a few extreme pranks here and there like last year for example when Timmy decided it would be funny to leave Kenny and I stranded on the fucking Moon.
I don't know when or how he got the time to build a fucking Moon base but I do know he had at least a hundred cameras recording everything for his amusement.
Kenny could escape by dying and respawning on Earth. I had no such cheat.
The pranks only got more numerous and ridiculous when Imaginationland got involved. All of a sudden, our pranks could be nearly anything we imagined and ohhhh boy, could Kenny imagine a lot. He's always been the main prankster in South Park and no one (excluding Karen) is safe from his wrath.
The day started with Kenny sneaking into Cartman's bedroom while he was sleeping and super gluing one of those "Super Crowns" from the Mario games onto his head. "Cartmanette" is something I'll never be able to unsee.
He, or I guess she, ended up jumping off the roof of the school in the afternoon to forcefully lose the power-up and broke a leg in the process.
Craig (and by extension Tricia) was next on the chopping block. Kenny got an army of human sized guinea bees, guinea bears, guinea pirates, and guinea-saurus rexes featured in season 12's "Pandemic 2: The Startling" to swarm their house and wreak havoc. They weren't building sized like in that particular episode but they were still massive compared to normal guinea pigs.
That prank kind of backfired as Craig looked like he was in heaven when I checked up on him. Tricia and his parents were the ones freaking the fuck out so at least he was 3/4s successful.
I was up next after I put some laxatives in Tweek's coffee that morning and besides changing my ringtone to that of a porn scene on full volume (real mature, asshole), he teamed up with Wendy to get a massive flash mob of my social media fans to invade the school and carry me out before tossing me in the air like a cheerleader over and over again while constantly demanding selfies with me.
The ringtone prank was a fucking feint meant to lower my guard right after I dealt with it. It took a bunch of brainwashing from Timmy 6 hours later to finally make them go away.
Kenny ended up betraying Wendy later that day and when she got home, dozens of different Stans were waiting for her, each one being a different persona of his from Posiedon Stan to Toolshed to Whale Wars Stan to Raven. It was like the 200 wave of Rogers from American Dad.
It took weeks to round them all up and get them back in Imaginationland. We found out a month later that one of the fakes knocked the real Stan out and took his place thanks to Timmy randomly reading his mind one day. Real Stan was not happy with Kenny when he got back.
Even Timmy got into the pranking spirit (again) and somehow replaced every set of outside stairs and benches in South Park with fakes that fell apart the second they were stepped or sat on. At least he didn't just target Kenny and I this time but such a simple prank became incredibly inconvenient for people when taking the sheer scale of it into consideration.
He didn't get out unscathed himself as right before 6 am today, he was woken up by a trademark melody from a certain animatronic teddy bear that was right outside the open door to his bedroom. I think that was the first time I ever heard Timmy scream in terror since I came here (the recording was posted online later that day btw).
Back to Kenny, I wasn't kidding when I said that nobody except Karen was safe from his wrath.
Some of his other pranks included replacing the goth's cigarettes with ones that explode when you smoke them, spray painting all the weapons in Jimbo's Guns pink, and anonymously giving Mr. Mackey some burrito from Australia called the "Trippa Snippa" which has every drug under the planet and some cleaning products in it. It trips you the fuck out and snips your life from fucking reality. He'll be pretty out of it for the next 11 days or so.
Jimmy had his worst fears in season 9's "Erection Day" come true as Kenny slipped some viagra in his drink before he went on stage at school to do another comedy show.
Bebe had practically her entire wardrobe replaced with cardboard cutouts and had to go to school in her pajamas.
The vamp kids had all their fake blood drinks replaced with actual blood he stole from Hell's Pass Hospital. Quite a few quit after that and Kenny's beatdown of them back at Casa Bonita.
Kyle had his cousin handcuffed to himself by several different pairs of handcuffs with every key being somewhere at the houses of each of his exes (Bebe included).
The South Park Mall found itself being invaded by an army of human adult-sized Yip Yips from Sesame Street. I never knew those tentacled bedsheets with googly eyes could be so fucking terrifying, especially when they do that shaking thing where they teleport right fucking next to you.
Kenny even printed a bunch of yaoi of Stan and Craig from the asian girls' DeviantArt pages and plastered them all over town.
The majority of South Park gets destroyed yet again after a full day of pranks from Kenny. And this is just 3 weeks after the last time South Park was reduced to rubble due to what we're calling the "Evil Turtle Incident".
Now don't get me wrong, I've managed to prevent South Park from being destroyed during any canon episodes I was here for but like I mentioned before, there are plenty of crazy adventures outside of the show. Each season only covers a couple months out of every year after all.
According to Timmy, since I've been isekai'd here, South Park has been destroyed 64% less a year then it was before I was isekai'd here which is pretty damn good in my opinion but alas, this mountain town tends to get destroyed more often than Elmore in Amazing World of Gumball and there's only so much I can do to prevent that on the fly.
Needless to say, most of South Park had it up to FUCKING HERE with Kenny by the end of the day. We all resorted to teaming up and formed a massive group chat online to plan how to hit the little troll where it hurt. It didn't take long to come up with a plan.
"Hey, Karen? You mind helping us get back at Kenny? He kinda pissed everyone in South Park off today with pranks."
"Ok, Dovah!"
Kenny's POV:
Man, I don't know how I'm gonna possibly top myself next year. I really went all out this time and blew everyone else completely out of the water! I actually imagined several more of me in Imaginationland just so I could brainstorm and set up pranks faster. I love this realm.
*Ring Ring Ring*
'A facetime from an unknown number? Is this gonna be like a jump scare or something? Real original, whoever this is.'
I accept the call only to see what looks like every kid in town and even some adults I pranked, holding various pranking weapons and standing in a massive clump around fucking Karen who is tied up and gagged in a chair hoisted into the air. She looks more terrified than I do right now.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!? "
"YOU PUSHED US TOO FAR, MCCORMICK!!!" Over a hundred voices shout at once.
"NOW SHE WILL PAY THE PRICE!!!"
"WAIT WAIT WAIT! I'M THE ONE WHO PRANKED YOU! LEAVE KAREN OUT OF THIS, IT'S ME YOU WANT! DON'T HURT HER!!!"
"NOW SHE WILL PAY THE PRICE!!!" I'm fucking terrified right now. I never thought they would take their anger out on her. Fuck, what have I done?!
Karen then gets hit by party spray, eggs, water balloons that look to be filled with several liquids that aren't water, and various other things from all angles while freaking out and screaming but the gag prevents most of her yells from coming out.
I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill EVERY! LAST! ONE! OF! THEM!
I power up and blast out of the front of my house, destroying a perfectly innocent door in the process but that's the least of my concerns. A massive clump like that has to be pretty damn visible and I could tell from the video that they were outside.
I fly up only to see a totally wrecked but empty town. Fuck, are they not in South Park? I can't feel Dovah's or Karen's energy anywhere. I fly around what's currently left of South Park as fast as I can to double check and then start flying to the forest and several other towns nearby to see if they're hiding out there. A massive crowd like that couldn't have gotten far.
The call ends after 10 minutes with everyone laughing evilly before hanging up but they didn't look like they were gonna stop and I am NOT calming down until my little sister is back in my arms, safe and sound!
Dovah's POV:
"And that's a wrap, people! Good job, everyone! Now we just need to show the video over FaceTime or Zoom or something when we're in hiding to make it seem like it's happening live and hide out until tomorrow. You okay, Karen?"
"I'm fine. The dire shroud you casted and your scepter didn't let anything actually hit me. It was kind of weird though seeing all that stuff so close to my face. I couldn't even see anything after a minute!"
I use my scepter to gather up all the stuff thrown at Karen and dump it into a hole I dug before covering it up with dirt. We then all start cleaning up to get rid of any other evidence and Clyde walks over to me during this coverup.
"That was awesome dude, but isn't Kenny gonna murder our asses after this? You know how much he cares about Karen."
"Don't worry, we'll hide out until he loses some steam and seeing that Karen's fine should expel most of his anger. Now who wants to hide out in the Bahamas?!" Everyone (minus the goths) starts cheering and I use the portal gun I imagined in Imaginationland a while back to make us a portal to one of the beach resorts in the Bahamas which we all run through like we just started a 100 meter dash.
We'll come back after a day or so when Kenny's all tuckered out. That should be enough payback to teach him a lesson.
Spongebob Narrator - "Three Days Later"
So I may have lost track of time a bit while staying here but in my defense, the luaus and waterparks here are amazing and Karen was having so much fun, I didn't want to ruin that. She earned it even if she wasn't actually hurt during our revenge prank on Kenny.
Plus, I found the cutest little Hawaiian outfits for her and Tricia to wear with some help from Bebe and I'm getting off track, aren't I?
I use the portal gun to take myself back to my house in South Park only to find a giant hole where the door should be and a whimpering Kenny lying in the fetal position on my living room floor. Whoops, maybe we went a little far with that prank. I don't think he's slept a second since the end of March.
I bring Karen over and she starts to comfort her brother who lets out more water from his eyes then all of Pipi's Waterpark put together. The others come back to town throughout the rest of the day and rebuild it while making sure to avoid Kenny who should hopefully dial back on the pranks from now on.
That or he'll throw out more pranks than ever to get payback on us. We'll just have to wait and see.