Cartman's POV:
"I can't believe he got to you too. What happened to you?" After beating up some mafia assholes and Randy's drunk ass dad to a pulp, we got our lead back to my place.
Jimmy offered to keep her safe but I denied him and forced my mom to let her stay here. I'm not an idiot, Jimmy is clearly one of Dovah's spies. I doubt they just went their separate ways after the ads.
That fucking bastard, taking control over MY town. He got me out of the picture before uniting his little task force against the ads. He even got me to join them due to the ads being the immediate threat. Did he plan for that too or was the ads getting in my way just a coincidence?
They are experts at distraction and deceit after all.
But even those fucking A.I.s pale in comparison to Dovahkiin. I was expecting to get another Butters when he moved here but instead, I got quite possibly the biggest threat I've faced in my entire life.
He immediately planted an instinctive fear of him into me, and it grew and blossomed with the ads taking my focus away for so long. I still feel it sometimes even years later, but I feel like it's for different reasons now.
I've been forced to lay low while causing a bit of trouble here and there for him to underestimate me but that won't solve my problem. Far from it.
Most of the shit here involves dealing with people who have power, followers, or manipulation tactics but this asshole got all of those things throughout the years right under my fucking nose. If I wasn't so pissed off, I would honestly applaud the guy.
Even this latest plan of mine is meant to get a better picture of him and his forces because as of now, I have no way of stopping him. He's like Darth Sidious if he merged with the Death Star, but even a planet killer like that has a weakness.
I need to find out just what he has now and who I can trust and I'll be doing that myself. I already tried calling in the Hardly Boys again but those horny fucks were useless.
(A/N: The 'detectives' in Season 10's "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce")
There are quite a few things I need to confirm, and sadly, one of said things was one of my biggest rivals becoming a mere puppet for him.
"What? Gonna start complaining about girls not being able to be superheroes?" Wendy barks.
"Oh for- Would you quit it with the politics cover-up for 5 goddamn minutes?! I'm talking about becoming a pawn for Dovahkiin. I thought you were better than that." Wendy isn't the only one who knows how to do a few tricks with a phone. I had to counter the ads that were spying on me somehow.
I tracked her down to the roof of an abandoned SoDoSoPa building where she was texting with Dovahkiin. Apparently, the guy was hurt pretty badly by the actor, Morgan Freeman, (HAH!) and she was about to go "tend to his wounds" before I stopped her. He has like 10 different healing powers, bitch. Nobody's buying that excuse!
"I'm not his pawn, Cartman, I'm his ally. Unlike you, Dovah doesn't see people as pawns. He sees them as friends, family."
"You honestly believe that shit? Sure, he cares about Kenny and Karen like that, Timmy too, but you? Don't delude yourself, you're on the same tier as Butters and Jimmy to him and you know it."
"Well we just started working together a few months ago. It'll take some time but-"
"But what? You think he's gonna make you his special bitch? What happened to the "strong independent woman excluding the shit she does with Stan", huh? You're a fuckin' hypocrite and you know it!"
"And YOU aren't?"
"I know I am. I know WHAT I am. This is about you. I'll ask you again, what happened to you? Even Kyle has been manipulated by me several times in the past, but you? You never let me get away with my shit. Is that your weakness, Wendy? Some knight in shining armor like Gregory or Dovah comes around and you suddenly turn into a submissive little bitch?"
Wendy glares daggers at me. Her stubbornness is matched only by my own and Dovahs so this wasn't unexpected. He tore down her mental pillars and built them back up to support him and that was probably just a byproduct of one of his plans. What I've been trying to do for years, just a simple fucking byproduct for him.
She pulls out two selfie sticks and gets in a fighting stance.
"I'm not an idiot, Cartman." 'But you sure do get manipulated easily.' "I know you're behind this latest crime wave. Dovah told me I could figure it out easily enough and he was right. It's easy to figure out if you think about it. You're jealous of him, because he's a far better version of what you believe yourself to be!"
She charges as me and my claws clash with her selfie sticks.
'So Dovah's given her some training too, huh? He probably had Butters use his army as punching bags for her before he targeted Coon and Friends.'
That's one of things that makes him such a scary opponent. He's selfish but knows when to share. He didn't just build himself up, he helped several others grow and become more powerful then they could possibly imagine.
They could easily overthrow him if they wanted but they won't ever do that. They're far too loyal to even consider that and would probably die for him if need be. If only I had people like that; but everyone already knows who Eric Cartman is.
Dovahkiin, however, had a clean slate and had no issues with his plans since nobody had any clue what a manipulative bastard he was. Not even me, until it was far too late.
I do my best to put her on the defensive but she's quick and graceful... for like 5 minutes. Then she's just predictable. It isn't hard to spot a pattern after a bit. She's pretty new to fighting like this and has only practiced against grunts.
I haven't been sitting idly by either. I can't get superpowers like fucking candy like Dovah can but I can at least learn how to defend myself. I was determined to learn how to after Wendy kicked my ass all those years ago.
I land a few slashes on her and she backs up to make some distance. I don't give her the change though as I pounce on her.
"Far better you say? How biased of you. He has you dancing in his palm so of course you're gonna be looking up to him."
"Well at least I'm doing something good! He's trying to protect us, change this stupid town for the better for everyone while you just want to make things better for yourself!"
"Better for everyone my ass! He and a select few reap all the benefits from his plans and you know it! You just want to become one of those few, get into his inner circle. But he won't ever let you enter. Want to know why?"
She rolls out of the way as I slam down and I then dash at her. Her phone laser attack blinds me for a bit and I feel my face getting hit by two cold, metal poles.
"It's because he's SCARED of you! He's SCARED of us! He wants us under him but at an arm's length from him. The perfect position to keep us beneath him. He won't be letting enemies any closer to him then he has to. "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer" doesn't apply to him since he knows what we can do if we're close enough to him!"
I grab one of her selfie sticks and toss it from the roof with it landing several floors below.
"You think he's going to let you in after what happened with Leslie?"
"DON'T COMPARE ME TO THAT FUCKING AD, FATASS!!!"
"I wasn't. I know you're better than that despite the dark side you try to hide. I'm just saying that he won't risk having another heartbreak. Nobody's perfect; not him, me, or you. Getting so close to Leslie nearly ruined everything for him and that scared him. It nearly destroyed both his head and his heart. I know the feeling. He won't ever truly let someone in like that again."
She pulls out two phones and I instantly know what attack she's gonna try. I've been monitoring her war with Butters for a while now and she only has like 3 basic attacks with those things. I had hoped she was fighting for herself at first but I couldn't have been more wrong.
I pull out my phone as it buzzes and chuck it at her as it blares, "PHONE DESTROYER!" The hippie never saw it coming if that look on her face was anything to go by. The blast knocks her back to the very edge of the building and it doesn't look like she's gonna stay up for very long.
She falls back screaming while I mutter "shit" and use my v-chip to boost myself while diving forward and grab her hand as she falls off.
"Jeezus hoe, you're gonna give us both tinnitus if you don't shut the fuck up!"
Wendy's POV:
I saw my life flash before my eyes as that fat fuck's phone blasted me off the building. I can't fly like him, I don't have any powers like him, so all I could do was scream as I fell to my death.
'Dying to my own attack. I really am useless compared to him, aren't I?'
Cartman didn't let that happen.
"Jeezus hoe, you're gonna give us both tinnitus if you don't shut the fuck up!"
"Wha- Cartman?!? Why did you-"
"If I wanted you dead, I would've done it years ago. Now would you mind helping me pull you up? Not sure what you had to eat today but it's making me feel like I'm lifting a fuckin' boulder."
Even now, he can't stop being an asshole. Why am I not surprised?
After we get myself back up, we both lay panting on the roof. Cartman's the first to get up after a few minutes and he looks towards me right after he does.
"I know you hippies like to die for a good cause and shit but is Dovahkiin the cause you really want to die for? I know you're better than that. You're not just some footsoldier who would die in battle for some asshole emperor. You wouldn't have given me so much trouble over the years if you were."
I turn my head over to him as he keeps talking.
"At least Stan can truly appreciate you for what you are most of the time. He can be a stupid, impulsive fuck sometimes but he really does care about you. Don't throw that away to chase an impossible dream, Wendy."
"Why are you telling me this? Why did you save me? Don't you hate me? Letting me die would mean one less obstacle between you and Dovahkiin."
"I'm not going to let one of my biggest rivals be reduced to this. What would that say about me?"
He gets up fully and begins to leave but not before taking one last look at the starry night sky.
"Come find me when you're ready to get your authority back." He then leaves me to lay there and process what just happened.
Cartman's POV:
I make sure to leave before she notices the tear rolling down my face.
'It's never going to happen, is it? Even after that.' I thought I accepted that a long time ago but boy was I wrong.
I just hope that we can at least take him down together in the end. Get things back to how they were. I would be okay with that. With how monumental this task has become, I have no room to be picky.
I don't know how he does it. I don't know how he managed to build so much, become so strong, or even half of what he has planned now. He probably already has my mayor plan all figured out, or at least, what it is on the surface.
He doesn't even need to rely on Timmy reading my mind to learn this stuff. I can feel whenever the cripple tries to discreetly pick apart my head and make sure to have him think he can only see a bit of my mind and thoughts without me feeling anything overtime.
I faked headaches and pain when he invaded a certain amount of my head and created a fake sweet spot for him over the years so he won't see too much in my mind again when he tries to stealth read it. At least he's trying to be sneaky about that. He could easily completely dominate my mind if he wanted to.
I'm at their total fucking mercy right now and I need to find an escape. He knows me to an almost scary degree. Even when he first came here, he seemed to instantly know what I was up to. Has he been stalking us before he moved here? How else would he know so much?
If I'm gonna beat him, I have to do things he has never seen before, something he would never expect. If I do that while continuing to have him and his buddies underestimate me, then I could win or at least... have a chance. To put everything I have on that chance. I don't like my odds here but what fucking else can I do?
Better to take the risk with a small chance at victory then stay under his heel forever. I won't be permanently restrained ever again. Not after the Dog Whisperer, not after everything I've been through!
Even if you hate me, I'll still save you from him because what else do I have to lose?