The entire stadium from humans to ads alike stops and stares at me after I killed Leslie. I try to stand up but I can feel myself hyperventilating and fall onto my knees. The world begins to spin as a loud ringing replaces the silence my ears were picking up.
The battle unpaused after a couple seconds with bullets flying and people shouting everywhere but I could barely think straight. I could see Karen crying over a fatally wounded Mysterion, Timmy checking up on Jimmy, and finally Craig rushing towards me before I black out.
When I wake up, I find myself in bed and am instantly confused.
'Was that all just a dream?'
"Hey dude, how are you feeling?" Kenny suddenly hops up on my bed with a concerned expression on his face.
"I... wait, what happened? The gun show, did I... do it?" Kenny then flashes a smile at me.
"You did it, dude. It's over. The ads here are gone. Whole Foods has been destroyed by yours truly. Jimmy is revealing the ads to the world through his newspaper with the evidence you got all over it and his super speed as we speak. We won, Dovah."
I smile at this and then begin to cry. I really did it. I stopped her and saved the world. So then why do I feel so... so...
Kenny then gives me a hug.
"I know, I know. Everyone knows. Clyde and Tweek forgive you and they along with the rest of the squad are here if you need a few shoulders to cry on, which you definitely do."
Jimmy finishes distributing the newspapers across the country and Garrison helps with shipping them around the world. A party is then thrown at Tolkien's house to celebrate our long awaited victory against the ads.
I go there but I feel like total shit. There's a massive hole in my heart and I feel depressed as hell. So this is what Stan felt like when Wendy dumped him the first time around.
Speaking of those two, they are back together thanks to a bit of telepathic mental magic from Timmy. Nobody in South Park cares about yaoi or yuri anymore thanks to him so Stan and Wendy are together again and Bebe seems to be hitting on Clyde right now.
The latter runs over to me as soon as he sees me and breaks down while apologizing for what he said before and thinking I was "traitourous simp piss" which is pretty ironic all things considered but I forgive him.
Tweek apologies too which I also forgive nearly robotically as I sit down.
Kenny's POV:
Shit, he is in really bad shape right now. Like Goth Stan levels of bad.
"Well, look on the bright side, Cartman, you finally lost some weight!"
"Screw you, hippie!" Oh, speak of the devil. The Team Stan Trio was invited since they did help deal with the ads so they deserve a thank you as well. Cartman's severed hand was fucked up during the end of the fight so he is having a prosthetic one made for him which he wants to be metal and have like 10 different appliances attached to it.
Unfortunately, his mom is a crack whore so they aren't exactly made of money right now but I'm sure Cartman will just do one of his business endeavors to get the funds for one of those eventually.
"Uh, hey Kenny."
"Hey."
"So... how's you know who doing?"
"He's like you when you went goth. So total shit."
"Oh. Well look dude-" He then gives the best apology he can which frankly isn't very good and asks me if I want to join the group again but I refuse. Life is about growth and change. I'm going through a new chapter of my life right now and they simply aren't part of it.
They walk away dejected with Cartman mumbling a poor kid rip or two and I head back over to Dovah who Karen and Tricia are currently trying to comfort.
That fucking ad decided to announce I was Mysterion to the crowd of spectators that Karen was present in so that led to a pretty awkward talk after I respawned. She was happy in the end since Kenny and Mysterion were both her heroes and now I'm like a super-superhero to her, whatever that means.
Karen is thanking Dovah right now for saving her and gives him a hug which gets him to smile for a second but he goes back to being depressed right after. I guess I can't really blame the guy.
Even Wendy's defenses cracked after just a few weeks of working with Cartman of all people on that flag project ages ago so having to kill someone who you spent tons of time with for almost two years and truly grew to love must have been the hardest thing he's done since he came here. And he's had to overcome impossible odds after nearly getting beaten to death several times over!
It'll probably be a long road to recovery for him but he's got plenty of people to help him out so he should be okay. People here tend to recover pretty quickly from crazy, life changing shit. Hopefully Dovah inherited that trait from New Kid.
Pretty much everybody at the party takes a crack at making Dovah feel better but if Karen couldn't pull it off, I don't know how they could imagine doing it themselves.
Timmy approaches me after the party ends.
(("The adoption papers and stuff are all ready to go. You wouldn't believe how easy the powers of bribery and mental manipulation make things like this. Need help moving in Dovah's place?"))
"Well, we don't exactly own a whole lot to begin with. Also, Dovah's house is kind of empty now and I don't think he can visit the apartment he was staying at during the last few months without having a total breakdown so I guess some new furniture wouldn't hurt. Can you help out with that issue?"
(("TIMMY!")) He gives me a smile and I give one right back. I can finally get Karen and I out of poverty! Plus, we can start spending tons of money on things now without having to worry about my parents who are moving out of South Park for good thanks to some 'convincing' from Timmy.
It's a dream come true for me and this should be great for Dovahkiin too since living with Karen who basically radiates happiness should help tremendously with his recovery.
I then head back to Dovah's house or I guess our house now. When I enter, I just see Dovah standing there, looking around.
"You know, I kind of expected Leslie to say something like "We have your parents hostage and if you don't stand down, we'll murder them." but she never did. I suppose I always did tell her they were never really important to me."
"We can continue to look for them if you want, dude."
"It's ok. They were probably killed months ago." Jeez, he must be desperate if he's relying on this to get his mind off the ads.
"...Is Karen okay? I mean... does she know about the whole immortality thing?"
"I told her back at the gunshow but she seems to have forgotten all about it. She remembers me being Mysterion though. That was one hell of an awkward explanation." I laugh a bit at this but the frown never leaves his face.
Yeah, this is gonna take a while even with the ray of sunshine that's my little sister. Oh, that reminds me.
"Speaking of Karen, thank you for saving her, dude. If Leslie killed her back there, I would have never forgiven myself and would be in a much worse state than even your current one. You're her hero, you know that?"
"That's nice, but I doubt I'll ever top you. I don't know if I can even call myself a hero at this point. I keep making the same mistakes, Kenny. I nearly ruined everything again and seriously thought about siding with them a couple times after losing faith in myself. I don't know if I can do this Kenny, changing the future for the better. I just seem to only make things worse."
I grab him by the collar of his sweatshirt and make him look right at my face after that last comment.
"Being depressed doesn't give you an excuse to say shit like that. Did you forget about all the people you've helped? All the lives you've saved? Sure you made mistakes but that's fucking life. Shit happens, I know. You say you're making things worse but I'm walking proof that your claim is bullshit."
He looks up at me and I can see him close to tears again.
"I'm not anybody special, Kenny. I'm not some genius or heroic, miracle worker isekai protagonist. I'm just a regular guy who got sent to the world of his favorite show."
"And I wouldn't have it any other way."
He starts crying again as I hug him. We gotta get this guy some serious therapy ASAP.
Meanwhile, at Hell's Pass Hospital (Cartman's POV):
How long does this asshole need to look at my giant stump for? The stump where my hand used to be too I guess. Heh.
Doctor what's-his-name suddenly backs up with a look of panic on his face.
"Oh no, just as I thought. We need to perform surgery, German style, shtat! NURSHE!"
A psychotic looking fucker in a nurses outfit suddenly comes in with a smile on his face and a chainsaw that he begins to run. THE FUCK IS THIS?!?
"nonononONONONO! I DON'T WANT MY FUCKIN' ARM CUT OFF! NOOOOOOOO!!!!"
The Jew and Hippie then come into the room, laughing their asses off.
"HAHAHAHahaha *gasps* OH, oh man! That was so worth the bribe, dude. Thanks, Doctor."
"YOU FUCKING JEW! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" Words cannot express how much I fucking hate those guys. Ok seriousleh.
Author's Notes:
And so the Ad Arc comes to a close with yet another Cartman prank to lighten the mood a bit after that total shitstorm.
I wasn't originally planning to have Dovah go undercover with the ads but if I had him fight the ads immediately, Season 19 wouldn't happen and I wanted this story to actually show a bunch of canon events instead of having the main character completely change the show's timeline right off the bat.
I also wanted to hammer in the fact that the choices Dovah makes will have consequences unlike the show where people move on from whatever crazy event happens after the episode ends 95% of the time. Dovah wanted to keep the show's overall plot mostly the same when he started so he can prepare properly for future events but that backfired miserably on him with the ads.
Leslie approached him a few days after SOT when he just got here, he was still learning the ropes. The need to keep his greatest trump card effective led to him going undercover in the first place with more unexpected factors like Cupid Cartman making things worse for him as time passed. This led to him breaking the rules he set for himself like no dating anyone.
Like Dovah said to Kenny, he isn't some miracle worker. He isn't automatically the best possible person equipped to handle this crazy ass situation. He's going to make mistakes at first but he will get better as time goes on and he goes through some character development.
Things are really going to ramp up from here on out. Dovah and the others won't be forgetting this close call. They are going to improve and improve fast. The difference between how the main trio (Dovah, Kenny, and Timmy) manage to handle Season 19 and Season 20 will be clear as day.
The newest arc is going to be a long one with it spanning from now until the middle of Season 21 in terms of the show and it's starting off with a bang next chapter which will feature a certain squeaky voiced antichrist.
Thank you to everyone who endured that little monologue and has read/supported my work so far! There is plenty more of it to come and you can continue to expect a brand new chapter every 1-2 days!