(("Dovahkiin, you're thinking with your dick."))
'Timmy, I am not thinking with my god damn dick.'
(("Yes you are."))
'Look, I already have a bunch of pictures and videos as evidence but getting her to talk would-'
(("Put your dick away. Also it, not her."))
'This isn't like Kyle or Jimmy. I've been with her for over a year and-'
(("Dovah."))
'-she's sentient so she could pull an Ultron and disobey her programming and-'
(("Dovah, that's your dick talking. We talked about this, remember? You of all people know that the ads lie. It's literally in her name. Les-LIE."))
'THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!'
(("Neither are you right now. The ads may be sentient but they DON'T have human emotions or feelings. You know this. You know any feelings she has towards you are fake. I know it's tough but remember what's at stake here."))
I'm having a telepathic argument with Timmy at the moment as the day of the gun festival approaches. Jimmy was recently saved by Barbrady and taken to the newspeople's hideout with Leslie who was invited over like in canon. The ads plan until the gunshow is pretty similar to what it was in the show, only with a lack of Kyle.
The mess Stan and Craig are causing is drawing the Jew's attention away alongside the others so the ads don't need to worry about them. Besides, I'm way more influential then Kyle so people will be much more willing to listen to a speech from me.
I've asked Timmy several times about the possibility of convincing Leslie to copy Ultron from the Marvel Movies and betray her programming and the ads by extension but Timmy always shuts me down. I can't really blame him, though. I'm nervous as hell right now and I don't know if I could take the shot if the opportunity comes.
We planned for this possibility months ago which I thought was a waste of time but I guess I know myself less than I thought. If need be, Timmy will use telepathy to get me to start thinking straight or just 'charm' me if I do anything stupid when the time comes. I guess I can't even trust myself now. Hopefully the others can carry my weight if I mess things up again. Why do I never learn?
Jimmy's POV:
"Here it is, Jimmy. Hot off the presses." I know I've said this before but I HATE ads. Nathan is a close second. I always thought he was a good kid but turns out he was an asshole who sold out his own kind.
Tim-Tim's plan has been going well so far with me pretending to take Leslie's side only to have her betray me and Nathan keep me up here in his apartment while helping the ads frame the PCs for their problems through my newspaper. The idiot left plenty of evidence I'll be taking after I beat his ass before he can blink.
"...The final sweeping underneath the rug. By this time tomorrow, nobody will be asking questions ever again, the ads will have won, and I will be... the man."
"Well, I'll admit, your p-p-p-plan was good Nathan, but there's just one thing you didn't count on."
"Oh, and what's that, Jim?"
"Well, it's like what you said before... you don't even know h-half the story." I use my super speed to grab Nathan and slam him into the wall. I then knock Classi out and grab my crutches before walking over to Nathan.
"*cough* What? Since when could you-"
"You r-r-really thought the ads would win that easily? They aren't the only ones who have been preparing. They're pretty much everywhere but they aren't omniscient because if they were, they would have killed us ages ago. Leaving me alive was pr-p-p-pr-p- dumb on their part."
"Ugh, you think you can stop the ads? The Dragonborn's gonna kill you, Jim. You and your buddies turned him away. You shunned and abandoned him after he did his best to help you! What he does next is because of you!"
"Oh, I'm well aware of that, Nathan. Only what he does next won't be what you or Leslie would ever expect." I then knock him out and speed towards Timmy's house with Officer Barbrady in tow. The gun show is close to starting and we're gonna need all hands and crutches on deck.
Kenny's POV:
I'm in my Mysterion costume as I spy on both Stan's family and Garrison's group. Craig is actually with them this time around since he and Stan have been trying to get to the bottom of the changes in South Park after dealing with the yaoi problem. The other kids are currently being rounded up by Cartman.
Randy shows off the ad with Leslie and PC Principal and Stan immediately realizes that Dovah was the one responsible for carrying out the ads' plan. He beat up PCs to get them in line, he distracted everyone using the asian girls' drawings and he turned all his friends away to be with Leslie.
After the realization hits, Randy speaks up.
"Well then, it's time to go ask Dovahkiin why he sold out his own kind." Now should be a good time to make my badass entrance.
"Dovahkiin is doing nothing of the sort. He's a double agent for us."
"Kenny? What are you doing here?"
"Mysterion, Stan. Superhero identities are supposed to be kept a secret, dude. Also, we've been planning to take down the ads for ages now. Everything that happened with Dovah was staged. Ask Craig for confirmation."
Craig confirms that this was a part of my so-called 'stupid ass team-wrecking plan' and I give them a brief rundown on the ads and the planned final battle at the gun show.
We all then hop in Katelyn's car and speed over there. Time to finally end this.
Cartman's POV:
"Don't you think this is a bit much, dude?" The jew's been bitching at me for the last few hours and I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I know Timmy said to bring as much backup as possible but did Kyle really have to be a part of this?
"Would you quit your bitchin' already, Jew? We need these guns to protect ourselves!"
"At the Gunshow?"
"YES, at the Gunshow!"
"Be nice to your friends, poopsikins."
"Shut up, mom."
"Ok, what the hell is going on, Cartman? I can see your Coon costume underneath your coat. What the hell are you getting us into?"
"NOTHING, KAHL! It's just in case there's someone in trouble. A superhero never rests!"
"Cartman, you haven't gone around as the Coon for years. There's been plenty of crime since then, most of which you've started."
"Can you just, ugh, please be a quiet jew, ok? No loud jews allowed in the car. You're lucky I'm even allowing jews in the car to begin with." God I hate him. But I hate Leslie more. I just hope I'm first in line to kill that advertisement bitch.
Dovah's POV:
Fuck. This is it. I'm literally flying to the gunshow with Leslie on my back right now. Anyone with half a brain, much less Leslie, can see that I'm shivering from sheer nervousness.
She gives my hand a squeeze and reassures me that she will be right by my side to help when we get there. I doubt she'll be saying that when I double cross her. Damn, why did this have to be so soon? Couldn't I just have a few more days with her?
When we get there, Garrison's group plus a few extra additions like Mysterion and Craig have already taken the audience hostage.
"Listen to me, everyone! There are beings who are purposefully gentrifying the Earth so that humans can no longer afford it!" I guess it's time then. I just have to wait for the signal.
"DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!" I shout as I head in with Leslie.
I repeat Kyle's claim in canon and then Jimmy or rather Fastpass makes his entrance.
"You a-a-ads think you're sooo clever, don't you? Trying to control all of us through lies, manipulation, and deceit? That's Cartman's job!"
An "EY!" is heard before Jimmy continues.
Oh god, this is it.
"Well n-n-news flash, ads. You are the ones who have been getting played all along. We've known about you and your genocide plans for ages now."
Deep breaths. You can do this. She's an ad. It's an ad.
"You are the ones who fell right into our ha-ha-hands. And now, we're gonna shut you off once and for all."
That's the cue. That's what I've literally been planning for almost two fucking years. This is it. Goodbye... Leslie.
I close my tear-filled eyes, form a soul slash, and swing it at Leslie.
"What are you doing, Dii?" And she fucking catches it before punching me so hard, I get sent flying across the stadium.