• • •
What I am aches in me
• • •
Rose had slept almost the whole weekend after the second task, her dreams were filled with bottomless pits and lakes. Amara had brought her a dreamless potion, but Rose only took it after a horrible dream where she was being dragged down the bottom of the Black Lake by some unknown force.
One of the worst things about the aftermath of the second task was that everybody was very keen to hear details of what had happened down in the lake, which meant everyone was interrogating Rose, Hermione Granger and Ron. Luckily for her, she had a special talent of avoiding people like the plague, which she did with everyone but Amara, Avalon and Adrian. When she finally left her dorm, it was only to find two identical gingers waiting for her in the common room, with Lee Jordan sitting solemnly besides them.
They practically begged her to sit with them, to which she agreed for respect to George and Lee. The four Gryffindors sat before the fire, the tension was thick enough one could cut it with a knife.
"So?" Rose cleared her throat, folding her hands in her lap delicately. "What is it that you need?"
Lee gave her a quizzical look, his eyes going down to her hands and up to her raised chin; she raised her brow at him, and he looked down apologetically.
"We're sorry we edge you out after – well," George began, scratching the back of his neck. "You know..."
"Fred and I broke up?" Rose wondered, tilting her head a little higher, her arms folding over her chest.
Fred's eyes flew to her own, a painful expression crossed his face before he cleared his throat and pulled at his collar. "Yeah – we, well – we miss you."
Rose's face showed genuine shock, her green eyes had gone wide, and her rosy lips parted in surprise. "We never wanted to stop being your friends," Lee mumbled in a low voice, but Rose heard it; she heard everything now.
"I never wanted that either," she answered, making Lee raise his head to her. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I never stopped considering you my best friends, it was just that – well-"
"You became Rose Potter," Fred interrupted her, a knowing expression on her face.
Rose went to retort, but he was right. She became Rose Potter practically over night to the Wizarding World, her every move was being watched by the prophet and it always had something new to say about her. Not only that, but she had moved out of her childhood home and left any trace that she was ever a muggle behind; she had paid close attention to how Amara and Seraphina carried themselves and she became a carbon copy of the 'Perfect Pureblood Girl'.
Carefully, the red head nodded her head, twirling the fabric of her expensive jumper on her fingers. "Yes, I did," she accepted, her eyes settling themselves in the fire. She heard them all exhale defeated, and she quickly turned back at them. "But I'm still me; I'm still Rose Lightbourn, she's still in me."
A moment of silence went through them, she thought she might've lost them for good, just as they had lost her many moons ago. That is until George picked up his head with a sly grin etched on his features.
"We're being too sappy, don't you reckon?"
And they all burst in laughter, the sound carrying through the walls. Because that is what friends do, and she might be angry and hurt by their actions, but eleven-year-old Rose had never known love until she had met this people sitting across from her. She would talk to Fred, of course she would, because no matter how much he made her hurt, he also made her feel loved at some point, and that was something she would not let go off easily.
• • •
Rose left the castle at noon the day of the Hogsmeade visit with Cedric by her side, a weak silver sun shining down upon the grounds. The agreement they had was perfect in Rose's eyes, she went to his dorm after she finished her homework and left before curfew. Some days they would talk and talk until there was nothing left to talk about, other days the last thing they did was talk as they laid in a comfort of sheets and twisted limbs.
The weather was milder than it had been all year, and by the time they arrived in Hogsmeade, all two of them had taken off their cloaks and thrown them over their shoulders.
"Where to first?" Cedric asked as they walked through the crowded streets.
"I say we get a Butter beer before the place gets to crowded," Rose said, pulling him towards The Three Broomsticks. She had planned on going into Gladrags Wizard wear to buy herself a new jumper for the warmer weather, but she knew she could do that after.
The Inn was crowded, as usual, but it lacked the dozens of Hogwarts students hogging the booths and tables. Cedric left the red head's side as he went to order drinks, so Rose picked a booth with the window looking out the main street of the magical town.
Rose looked across the street and noticed the twins with Lee heading into Zonkos and Amara conversing with a Ravenclaw girl she assumed was in seventh year, the two girls walking towards Honey Dukes. Rose arched an eyebrow; she'd never seen Amara speak to her before, but the Ravenclaw was stunning; her dark raven hair was hanging down her back and her complexion appeared as if she'd spent hours sunbathing in the beach. Before Rose could inspect her further, Cedric took a seat in front of her, and she came out of her trance.
"What are you looking at?" Cedric asked, looking out the gloomy window as he slid over her drink.
"Just people watching," Rose shrugged, bringing the cup over to her lips before taking a sip; the liquid quickly warming her insides. "Are you worried for the third task?"
"Not much," Cedric answered, but he was toying with the cup in his hands; swirling the butterbeer inside it. "It's still months away."
"It's alright to be nervous; especially after the last task," Rose said, shuddering at the memory of sinking in the lake. "Merlin knows Harry and I are."
Cedric's head snapped towards Rose so quickly she feared it might've popped out of shoulders, his eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open before he recovered. "You're on the third task!"
"Shh!" Rose urged him, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. "Keep your voice down!"
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, having the decency of looking ashamed. "I've been so wrapped up on-"
Rose was listening, but from the corner of her eye she caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione; all with the same guilty looks on their faces that they always had when they were up to trouble. Harry was even carrying a bag that seemed to shift ever so slightly and he seemed to not want it close to his body. Rose groaned, throwing her head back.
"I'm sorry, Ced," she sighed, standing from her seat and grimacing at the confused expression he gave her.
"What-?"
"I saw my brother outside," she explained, swinging her bag over her shoulder next to her coat. "Reckon he's heading for trouble."
"Rosie-"
"I'll see you up in the castle, alright?" she said, hoping that he wouldn't be too angry. He seemed about to argue, but he nodded his head twice before she leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.
She left The Three Broomsticks with a frown on her face and spotted them past Dervish and Banges. With a sigh, she followed the three fourth years. She made sure to keep her distance so they wouldn't see her, but they were too oblivious to notice her. When they edged out of the village, she casted a silencing charm on her feet and followed closer so she wouldn't lose them.
Rose had never taken this path before. She followed as the little road led them out into the vast countryside around Hogsmeade. The houses were fewer, and their gardens were wider here; Harry, Ron, and Hermione were heading towards the foot of the mountain in whose shadow Hogsmeade lay, and Rose struggled to keep up. They rounded the corner, and Rose placed her back against the harsh wall and peered over the corner to see what was going on.
'What are they doing?' she wondered as she watched the three Gryffindors remain still. An enormous, shaggy black dog with its front paws on the uppermost bar was waiting for them, clutching some newspapers in its teeth and looking quite familiar...
"Hello, Sirius," Rose heard Harry say, when they had reached him. Rose's eyes went wide the same time the dog – Padfoot – began to trot away from them across the scrubby patch of ground which rose to meet the rocky foot of the mountain.
Rose groaned one more time, detaching herself from the wall as she followed Padfoot and the fourth years to the foot of the mountain, where the ground was covered with boulders and rocks. Rose thought it was easy for Sirius to climb the mountain, but as she tried to stay hidden from everyone, Rose was soon out of breath and holding onto the rocks for dear life. For nearly half an hour she climbed a steep, winding and stony path, following Sirius' wagging tail as well as the Gryffindors, sweating in the sun with her jumper sticking to her back.
At last, the dog and teenagers slipped out of sight and into a cave. Rose sighed, wrapping her hair up in a ponytail and peeling off her jumper before wrapping it over her waist, left in a simple black shirt.
Rose peeked her head slowly, eyes going round as she saw Buck Beak, the Hippogriff that was supposed to be executed almost a year ago; she never did know what happened to him. Rose also saw Sirius Black, thinner than before and not at all how she had seen him with Remus; he was devouring a piece of chicken as if it was the last one he'd ever had.
With a sigh, deciding to end whatever this was, she came out of her hiding spot. "What in the name of Merlin and Morgana both is happening here?" she huffed, watching as tension rolled into the shoulders of everyone there as they quickly turned to her; their expressions relaxing only slightly as they saw it was her.
Harry looked guiltier that she had ever seen him; and that was saying much. Hermione had gone pale, her eyes darting everywhere but her. Ron, whoever, instantly walked towards Rose and wrapped his long arms around her in a loving hug; his heart was beating too loudly and they received confused glances from everyone there.
"Merlin, I thought you were someone else," Ron mumbled against her hair, he was taller now so she was the one that had to look up when hugging him. He let her go, a silly smile on his face as she turned her attention back to Sirius.
"You!" Rose said, her demeanour changing completely as she kneeled before Sirius. "What are you doing here? You'll get caught!"
"Fulfilling my duty as godfather," said Sirius, gnawing on the chicken bone in a very dog-like way. "Don't worry about me, I'm pretending to be a loveable stray."
"What happened with Remus?" Rose said, her face going dark and humourless as she stood. "You were comfortable there! You were safe!"
Sirius frowned, his eye darkening with a mixture of anger and grief. "I was locked up again," he mumbled, a Rose heard Harry's breath hitch. However, she only glared harder.
"So?" she huffed, crossing her arms over her shoulders. "At least you were safe! What good will you do to Harry if you get caught again!"
Sirius grunted and went back to his food whilst Harry and Hermione glared at Rose and Ron looked at her apologetically. She sighed, crouching next to Sirius like she had done so before. "Why would you risk it, Sirius? Even Seraphina was keeping you safe; she casted all those protection charms for you."
Sirius turned his stormy grey eyes at her, an odd expression crossed his features as he looked into her eyes; she looked a lot like Lily, but at the same time she didn't. Rose's eyes held agony and heartbreak that Sirius had only seen in the mirror, her smile never seemed to fill her face completely and he couldn't help but notice the sickly pale color of her skin. Finally, he let out a breath and tossed the Daily Prophet at her.
"Things are getting fishier," he mumbled in between bites. "I've been stealing the paper every time someone throws one out, and by the looks of things, I'm not the only one who's getting worried."
He nodded at the yellowing Daily Prophets on the cave floor, and Rose picked them up and unfolded them. Some of them she had already read, like the one where she was filling up the whole front page, but some of the others were rather political; not every sixteen-year-old bothered to read the paper if there was no gossip.
Harry, however, continued to stare at Sirius, completely ignoring her sister as she gasped at what she was reading. "What if they catch you? What if you're seen?"
"You four and Dumbledore are the only ones round here who know I'm an Animagus," said Sirius, shrugging, and continuing to devour the chicken leg.
"And Aunt Seraphina," Rose piped in, nudging Ron's shoulder for him to read paper where the title read: Ministry Witch Still Missing – Minister for Magic Now Personally Involved.
"And Nina," Sirius nodded, shifting when Harry's gaze hardened even more. Finally, Ron passed the paper over to Harry. Rose could see the expression on Harry's face as he looked down the story about Crouch, his eyes widening. Phrases jumped out at him: hasn't been seen in public since November ... house appears deserted ... St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies decline comment ... Ministry refuses to confirm rumours of critical illness ...
"They're making it sound like he's dying," said Harry slowly. "But he can't be that ill if he managed to get up here ..."
"Percy is his personal assistant," Rose said, looking over at Ron who nodded.
"He says Crouch is suffering from overwork," Ron shrugged, looking as if it wasn't an important detail.
"Could be lying," Rose thought aloud before turning to Sirius. "I could write to Percy and ask him if that's really what's happening."
"Mind you, he did look ill, last time I saw him up close," said Harry slowly, still reading the story. "The night my name came out of the Goblet ..."
From that moment, Rose tuned out part of the conversation; her head had begun reminiscing on the first two task. They had been horrendous to say the least, they were death traps and Rose feared the third one would be the worst of them all. She didn't tell Cedric, but she had an awful gut feeling about the third task; she knew Harry felt it too, he had confessed it to her two days ago.
She finally came back to the conversation when they began talking about the Dark Mark that someone had conjured in the Quidditch World Cup; the moment still sent shivers down her spine. Then Sirius told the four teenagers how it had been Mr. Crouch the one who had sent him to Azkaban, and Rose had to look away so no one would see the tears that were threatening to fall.
Finally, the group decided to leave, but Rose had to ask Sirius; she had gone too long without answers to any of her questions.
"I'll catch up," she told Harry, Ron, and Hermione when they were about to leave the cave. They gave her odd looks but nodded nevertheless and headed their way.
"I'm surprised you aren't threatening to burn me down if I don't go back to Remus's," Sirius chuckled, leaning back into the stone wall.
"I would," Rose admitted with a fond smile. "But I try to keep my cool around Harry; wouldn't want him to think I've gone off it."
Sirius let out a breathy laugh, but his gaze settled on Rose again. It was amazing how watching her felt like seeing a copy of Lily again but hearing a replica of James in her voice.
"Why did you leave me with the Lightbourns?" Rose blurted out suddenly, her eyes widening a little bit before calming her factions. Sirius, however, seemed completely taken aback from her question; the shock written clearly over his face.
"You mean with Marisse?" he questioned, his eyebrow raising slightly.
"Yeah, and Robert."
"Do you not call them mum and dad?" he asked, his brows furrowing at the girl before him. She shook her head gently, her eyes still hard as stone. "Well – erm – Marisse is – was – my cousin."
"Your cousin?" Rose spluttered; this had not been the answer she had expected. "How?"
"Well, she was born into a magical family; the Blacks to be exact," Sirius said, scratching his chin roughly. "But she didn't get her Hogwarts letter at eleven; she's a squib."
"So, what happened to her after that?"
"She got burned off the family tapestry," Sirius shrugged, as if it was an everyday occurrence. "Disowned and thrown into a muggle family."
"That explains the cold heart," Rose mumbled, but of course, Sirius heard her.
"Why don't you call them mum and dad, Rose?"
And Rose told him. Because she had never told anyone the horrors she had lived through under the roof of Marisse Lightbourn; and who was better to tell than an alleged murdered on the run?