I looked all around me praying I wouldn't see him. I grabbed the disgusting flowers, and walked into my room. I threw them away as soon as I could feeling like I had touched acid.
How did he find me? After all this time, he found me. Oh my god, he's here in Arizona. What if he approaches me? What if he talks to the boys? I was frantic. I couldn't keep my thoughts straight.
I felt my heart start to race. I was dizzy and weak. I felt chills down my spine. I was loosing control of everything I had worked so hard for. I couldn't breath. I was inhaling short breaths and I knew I was having a panic attack.
I started crying which smeared my make-up everywhere. I didn't care anymore. I dropped to the floor and sobbed. I couldn't believe it. I thought that running away he would have given up on me after all these years. I hated that horrible man. Why? Why now? Why couldn't you have just let me go? I thought making me sob even harder.
I heard a soft ping indicating I had a text. I tried to calm down enough to read it.
"We're starved, so be ready in an hour to go eat." Adam texted.
What am I going to do? Should I tell the boys? I immediately rejected that notion. I knew this was something I'd have to deal with on my own. There's no way in hell I'm dragging these amazing guys into my fucked up past.
I stopped crying, and pulled myself together. I hopped in the shower to get ready to go with the guys. As soon as I got out, I looked in the mirror at all of my scars. My father had burned me with cigarettes numerous times, but the worse scar I had was from the time he had burned and beaten me with the fire poker.
"Laiya, you want to know what makes me sick?" Dad said slurring his words. He'd obviously been drinking, but if I didn't respond I'd get a beating. He was poking the fire since it had been snowing all day.
I avoided his gaze, and answered, "I don't know.."
"People. People make sick. You work hard your entire fucking life at one job, and then all of a sudden you're fired! You're fucking fired just cause you had a little sip of whiskey," he said stabbing the logs harder over and over again.
"I'm sorry.." I said, because honestly I expected this to happen sooner or later. I looked up, and saw him staring at me. It was terrifying, because he had a blank stare. I saw him lift the poker over his head and hit my right side. I fell in pain and anguish. My side burned, and ached so badly. He kept hitting me and hitting me until I was bleeding. I never screamed though, because screaming only made the suffering last longer.
I rubbed the long burn marks up and down my side before putting on my jean button-up shirt. I buttoned up my shirt and rolled up the sleeves. I slipped on my cream ruffle skirt over top of my shirt. I put on a cute brown belt on top, and put on my cream lace oxfords that matched.
I blow-dryed my hair and curled it letting my black hair down. I put on pink lips, and mascara. I checked my stash of pills and grabbed several oxy's. It was going to be a long evening and I needed to calm down.
I checked my iPhone revealing that it was almost time to go. I grabbed my camera and room key. I was terrified leaving my room knowing my father was out there, but I had to act like nothing was happening for the boy's sake.
I walked out down to Austin and Alan's room and knocked. Alan answered giving me a huge smile and pulled me into a hug. I missed his smile, and seeing his smile made me smile even with the feeling of worry sinking my stomach.
"Hey Gingy," I said pulling back and letting him go.
"Princess Laiya, you look gorgeous as always," he said looking me up and down. I blushed, and looked down.
"Yes, you look beautiful," Austin said walking out of the bathroom slipping on a shirt. I blushed even deeper, and looked into his chocolate brown eyes. I pushed away my worries for now not wanting to ruin the moment.
"Thank you guys, ready to eat? I'm starved!"
"Hell yeah, let's go Lai," Alan said pulling me out the door with Austin chuckling behind us. We all got in the elevator and Alan laid his arm around my shoulders as I checked my Instagram. I went through my pictures checking if I had ever put any locations on my pictures which I hadn't. I started looking through Twitter and my Facebook page, but I had never put my location on anything. How did you find me, you bastard, I thought.
"Lai, you alright? You're really tense." Alan said in a serious tone which made Austin look at me, but I didn't need them worrying about me.
"Fine, just hungry. I haven't eaten today," I said.
The elevator opened and we walked out to the bands waiting. I waved sheepishly to the guys remembering the other night when I had attempted (and miserably failed) at project "fuck with the boys." I smiled at them all, and saw Oli staring at me. I walked out of Alan's arm and walked up to him.
"Hey Oli, can we talk? soon?" I said looking deep into his hazel/green eyes.
"No, I don't want to talk," he said looking straight at me.
"Oliver, please, if you'll just let me explain.."
"No! Why don't you leave me alone and go find some other guy to act like a slut for?" he shouted in my face then stormed off.
Everyone looked at me, but I couldn't meet their gazes. I felt tears prick my eyes, and I ran past the guys. I ran out the door and down the sidewalk. I heard people calling my name, but I couldn't take it. I ran for what seemed like an eternity.
When I finally had stopped to gain some breath, I looked up to check my surroundings when I saw I a huge Ferris wheel and a lot of people around me. Some had been staring at me, but none asked me anything. I smelled cotton candy, and kettle corn.
I had come to the fair. It was like a childhood dream come true; running away to join the circus, but this was better. I finally stopped crying, and paid my way in. I felt an ache in my heart and the sting of Oliver's words piercing my thoughts.
Maybe I should just let him find me, I thought as I walked through the gates.
-----------------------------------------------------∞-----------------------------------------------------
I had been walking around for hours when I finally decided to check my phone. Of course I had about 100 calls from the guys and other bands. I had countless text messages asking where I was and if I was okay.
I texted back the only person I knew would make me feel better.
"Austin, I'm at the fair. Come find me."
I put away my phone, and continued walking when I felt my stomach growl. I walked up to a cotton candy stand and as I was about to pay a hand snaked out and handed the girl $5.
I turned to thank the person when I grew cold with fear. My stomach fell to my feet, and I felt the color drain out of my face. The man of my nightmares was standing in front of me. He put his hand at the back of my neck and roughly lead me away from the stand.
"Honey, you look as lovely as ever," he said making my stomach churn hearing his voice.
"What are you doing here Samuel?" I asked trying to sound brave, but it came out sounding weak.
"Now, you know that's not what you're supposed to call me," he replied angrily squeezing my neck hard making me wince in pain.
"Sorry dad, I mean what are you doing here?" I said looking for an out. I had to get away. Fuck, I should have been more careful. I mentally cursed myself as I kept searching for an exit.
"Ah, now now Laiya it's very rude to try to leave when I just got you back," he said forcing me to look at him. He put his other arm on mine and gripped it tightly.
"It's very rude to be forceful with people, but that's never stopped you."
He smirked. He must realize I'm not longer the scared little girl anymore. "Well, forceful is such an ugly word, but we did have fun, didn't we?" He said trying to get a rise out of me.
"Let me go, I never turned you into the police. I left and we can move on with our lives. Why? Why did you follow me?" I said trying to push him away, but he pulled me back. He let go of my neck and grabbed both my arms by the elbows. People were staring, but he didn't care.
"Because you're mine Laiya. You've always been mine, and you will always be mine. You can never get away from me." He leaned in for a kiss, but I kneed him in his private spot, and ran like hell. I heard him screaming after me, but I couldn't look back.
Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away, I kept thinking to myself. I then ran into someone very tall.
"Hey, Laiya.. Laiya, look at me. It's okay. What's wrong?" Austin asked trying to sooth me, but we had to move. Samuel was coming for me, and if he saw Austin I had no idea what he was capable of.
"Austin, listen to me. Just trust me right now, okay? Run. Run with me. We have to leave. NOW" I said grabbing his hand running. He listened to me and we both ran to the van. Thank the heavens it hadn't left yet.
I told the driver to leave, well shouted really. He stepped on the gas as Samuel came tearing out of the fair.
I tried to calm myself, but couldn't. I hadn't realized I was crying till Austin reached up and wiped my tears away.
"Babe tell me, what just happened?" He looked at me with those caring eyes, and I wanted so desperately to tell him. I couldn't though, I swore to myself I wouldn't force him into my past, so I did the only thing I knew would work; I lied.
"Austin I... I have a stalker," I felt horrible, but this was the only way to protect him. "He's been following me since I was 17, and I thought I had lost him after a few years, but he's back. I'm so sorry to bring you and the guys into all of this. I totally understand if you want me to leave the tour. I'm sorry I hid this from you.."
"Laiya, oh my god, are you serious? No, you're staying on this tour. Why couldn't you just tell one of us?! We can protect you Laiya. You just have to trust us, or just me, please."
"I don't.. I don't know how to trust anyone.." I whispered looking down.
"I'll show you how love, just give me a chance. I'm so sorry you have to go through this hell, but I'm here now. I'll always be here, so don't even worry about that lunatic!"
I shuddered and he put his arm around me trying to comfort me. Austin made me feel safe, but I was still scared out of my mind at the fact that Samuel was really here.
"I don't want to be alone.. in my room tonight.. Would you.. would you stay with me? You don't have to.. I just I need someone." I said quietly.
Austin pulled up my chin and looked me straight in the eyes, "Of course. I don't want you to be alone with that psycho just running around." He kissed my forehead and we rode the rest of the way to the hotel in silence.
We pulled up in front of the hotel and got to the lobby where a bunch of tattooed men that I adored were pacing. They all ran up to me as soon as they saw me, and tried talking to me.
"Guys, look, I'm exhausted. We can talk tomorrow," I said pulling Austin with me to the elevator.
Austin went to his room to grab some clothes, and I went to mine to get ready for bed. I heard a knock on the door and went to open it.
When I opened the door I saw another bouquet of red roses, and I felt disgusted. I picked them up and read the card.
It said:
"You'll never get away from me.
-Love Dad"
I rushed to throw them away with the others and saw that Austin was walking up. He gave me a sheepish smile, and kissed me.
I shut the door behind him and immediately pulled him to the bed. We laid down, and he put his arm around me as my back was towards him. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel comfort, but the only thing I could think of was what if I never get away? I soon faded into the sleep I so desperately craved.