Enjoy!
"Whats Amber been doing today?" Blake asks, one of his hands falling from the steering wheel as we pull down the country road towards the farm. The early hour of the afternoon were spent on the beach, playing games of football and catching up with friends that I've barely had the chance to speak to over the last seven months. It's been a long 2023 season and now finally being home, much less for Christmas, it's exciting. Even more exciting that Amber and I (and our families) are spending Christmas together this year.
"You've changed your tune." I can't help but poke fun at Blake, it's become a running joke between the two of us - Blake's initial...dislike of Amber eighteen months ago. He's gone from rolling his eyes silently (that I pretended not to notice) each time she was brought up in conversation to texting her more than me some days. The friendship they had formed was founded on their mutual want for my happiness, but now stood firmly on its own ground.
Turns out the two of them had similar fears and an identical aversion to speed unless roped into activities by me. Something which Amber still regularly complains about when I pull out any form of bike.
"Dude, it's been like two years." Blake complains his voice flat as if he's bored of the conversation. The frustration dancing on his features betrays him though and I find myself laughing at the expression with a shake of my head.
"I don't know, she's sick." Is all I offer with a shrug. I'd tried to convince her to let me cancel for the day but Amber had refused, pushing me out of the door, bottle of water in hand insisting I deserved the 'boys day' (even if others wives, partners and girlfriends were in attendance). I had rolled my eyes at the term, lacing a kiss to her hot forehead as she fanned herself, skin warm against my lips. If I didn't know she had already thrown up twice I would've put her temperature down to the Australian summer, although the chilled air con of the ranch meant that was impossible. "There'll be some housewives shit on the TV when I get back, I can almost guarantee." The words are almost mused to myself but they make Blake laugh and nod.
"Likely." Blake concedes, knowing Amber as he does, he knows I'm right. She discovered the shows over last Christmas break and since has been endlessly catching up on previous series. "Can't wait?" He asks after a second, looking to me with a raised eyebrow that I know I can't lie to.
"Can't wait." I confirm, a low laugh leaving me as Blake just shakes his head at me. Two years ago neither of us would've imagined it but here I am, excited to return to my beautiful (yet grey and sick) girlfriend to watch shitty television cuddled up on my couch.
No doubt she'd make me shower as soon as I return through the doors, delaying our cuddle with the words along the line of 'you're not getting sand on this beautiful couch Mr Ricciardo'. I'll inevitably laugh and do as I'm told because who am I to ruin her favourite item of furniture with dried sea salt and sand? The couch might be part of the reason we're together in the first place. It may even be the reason we're here for the holiday season.
Amber's family are arriving in three days, it's something that didn't take much convincing once Oliver was on board. If Oliver could survive the long haul flight with a two year old Mila, he argued that anyone could, even Lando (much to Amber's delight).
Amber has been so excited to see Mila and spoil her with Christmas presents. In all honesty I'm excited to spoil Amber too. Whilst she said all she wanted for Christmas was for the two of us to just relax and spend some time together where work wasn't going to be a factor, I'd decided to take the request up a notch (or five). The day her family left back to the UK we'd also be heading to Bali for a week of total relaxation before my training activities begin ramping up again.
I'm only hoping she feels better before her family arrive and our trip.
She had already been excited for today, complaining that it had been too long since she got to hang out with Blake and Rachel (Michael's new girlfriend). The grey look on her face was all the apologies anybody needed.
I thank Blake for the ride home, slamming the door of his car a little harder than intended earning a glare from him before he pulls away, back down the path. I can't help the excitement that shoots through me as I head to the front door.
"Hey?" I call as I enter home. Instead of the predicted TV show playing through the building there's nothing. It's eerily silent as I pull my shoes off. The light expression on my face falling to one of more concern as I look around. "Ambs?!" She said she was feeling better before I left, it's the only reason I agreed to go. An uneasy feeling sets in me.
She's not a quiet person, not like this.
"Hey," her voice is quieter than usual, more vulnerable. I don't think it's normal how my heart aches at the sound, wanting to change it back to it's more confident usual tone immediately. She's staring at a box in front of her with such intensity I'm wondering if she's trying to use a form of mind control. Her teeth are clamped down on her bottom lip, chewing nervously as her hands wring. The concern rising in me isn't enough to stop my eyes glancing at her barely covering chest but it's only for half a second.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I can't help but make my way towards her in the kitchen. She just blinks unmoving and the feeling of unease triples in size.
"I-" Amber stutters over her words and her position for a moment. Words failing her as she runs a hand over her face. I can't help but reach for her hand once it drops squeezing it encouragingly, forcing her to look at me. "Something's happened." The vague look in her eyes of disbelief that comes with the words is enough to make panic rise in me.
"Is everything okay? Are you okay?" The questions leave me quickly, mind flickering through possible scenarios. "Your Mum? Lando?" I ask, itching for more clues into what's caused her so much panic. Amber isn't like this, she's usually so calm, willing to talk it all out. Especially with me.
"Fine!" The word is tight and higher pitched than it would be if she was really fine. I don't believe her for a second.
She's not fine.
"That doesn't sound fine Ambs." I voice my concern, rounding the counter of the kitchen so that instead of opposite her I'm stood at her side. My hand instinctively reach for her waist, smoothing over her skin there over her clothes. Amber leans into me, almost instinctively but it's not as welcoming as she usually is, she's distracted by whatever the hell is going on. Colder than she should be.
"I don't...know if you-we're ready for this." Amber mumbles slowly making my eyebrows furrow in questioning. If her words were any quieter I wouldn't have caught them.
"For what?" I try not to show the panic rising in my chest my hand gripping onto her a little harder as nausea takes over. Does she mean us?! This relationship?! She can't. "Don't be...babe, tell me what's going on." I trip over my words spiralling in front of Amber's eyes as she just looks to me...scared? "It'll be okay. Whatever it is we'll make it work." I promise because we can. She just needs to tell me the problem and I'll make it better, use every resource I have to make it okay for her. She should know that already.
Amber only swallows slowly, her head nodding in vacant acknowledgement of my words as I will her to share more. Anything more! Because I feel like I'm dying here waiting for her to share.
Then she nudges the box she was staring so hard at towards me, nodding slowly when I reach for it.
"What's this?" I ask, the frown not disappearing from my face as I open the white box. "Seriously, what the fucks going on Ambs?" The question is in surprise and disbelief. My eyes widening at the sight infront of me.
"I don't know how...Well I do but I don't understand fully..." Amber trails off shaking her head, her hand coming to cover her mouth in clear shock. "I was going to tell you better than this. Then I realised that we've not planned for this, w-we have too much going on and..." She gives up with a loud huff. "I blame the Limoncello in Italy honestly." Amber groans, her words almost a nonsensical rambling as I reach for the fabric in the box.
It's dark blue Red Bull Merch, the smallest size there must be, the number 3 pasted on the front in bright red and Ricciardo on the back like a football shirt. I swallow heavily, the fabric crumpling under my panicked touch my heart beat echoing in my ears. Amber is almost shaking beside me as I handle the shirt.
I know what it means, deep down I do. But the white stick, buried in the tissue of the box, showing a clear '+' sign is the confirmation I need.
Amber's pregnant.
Amber's pregnant with my baby.
A baby that is going to, at some point fit in the shirt that I'm holding in my hands. A nervous excitement wells up inside me as I blink once, twice, three times in shock. "You're..." The words echo around my head, the question lost as I just cradle the tee shirt in my hands.
"Yeah." Amber answers my silent question in a whisper, my heart squeezing with her confirmation.
"Oh my god."
"I realised I was super late about two weeks ago but ignored it until last weekend because I didn't think there was an opportunity, but then I remembered Italy..." her quick and stammered explanation trails off.
Of course Italy.
We'd barely had a moment to ourselves, with both sets of parents joining for the week of our annual trip which was postponed to the second week of October because of the racing calendar. Lando had even joined with me last minute, throwing his luggage into the car with me without so much of a consulting question - it was a very him move to make.
Eventually after four days of Amber and I dancing around each other, stealing seconds of alone time, Lilly pushed us out the door of the villa we rented for the week. She had ordered us to have a date night where we drank too much wine and ate far too much pasta. It was on the way back when Amber had kissed me whilst we looked out onto the ocean that we began pulling at each others clothes, touches lingering longer than they should have - especially in public. The teasing turned into Amber lowering herself onto me as she whispered my name against my lips like a prayer in what was one of the sexiest things she's ever done.
We had sex right there on the beach of Positano without a second thought.
I didn't wear a condom, Amber came off her pill three months before because of the anxiety it was inducing when combined with her new job at Alpine. With sober eyes really it was an accident waiting to happen. Only the more the realisation sinks in the more I realise this wasn't an accident.
So much of us has centred around Italy, it makes sense that this would too.
"I wanted to tell you yesterday but the shirt didn't arrive until today and then I put it together and realised we're so not ready fo-" I cut Amber's rambling off with my lips. It's the deepest kiss we've ever shared, every single drop of adoration I've ever felt for her poured into it. And still it's not enough. The nerves are still fluttering in my stomach as I grasp onto her, fingers dipping under the material of her shirt to feel her skin against mine.
"I can't believe it." I mumble against her skin when we finally pull apart. Amber just nods against me, lip still wobbling with nerves as my fingers dance against her, smoothing slow circles against her lower stomach. A baby.
"Me neither." She admits, her eyes darting around to everywhere but me. "I thought I was okay with this then I put it all together and now I'm shitting myself but look how cute that is and I..." Amber cuts herself off (again) her beautiful dark (yet alarmed) eyes finding mine for the first time since I opened the white box between us. "Are you...okay? With this?" Her words are so quiet and cautious.
"Baby..." I coo the nickname. My fingers hooking under her chin to lift her face to mine lacing a small soft kiss to her lips. Then the biggest grin that's ever existed breaks out on my face. I can't help it, nothing compares to this moment. Not racing, not standing on any podium or winning any trophy. Not even Amber whispering she loved me for the first time quite matches how I feel right now.
A small me? Even better than that, a small Amber? I can't imagine anything better.
"I'm so good with this." I say through the widest smile, a happiness coursing through me so thick that I feel like I could explode. "I love you so much." I choke out pressing quick kisses to Amber's lips as she giggles, her excitement blooming now she can see how happy I am too.
"I love you too."
"We're having a baby!" I cheer, the words feeling surreal as they leave my lips. This whole thing feels like a dream, so perfect and good.
"We're having a baby." Amber repeats my words, her smile wide and finally a grin breaking out on her face.
-
Amber is holding my hand, only holding is an understatement. She's gripping onto me with a hold so tight I think my hand might break and I'm going to have to explain to Christian why I'm going into the new season wearing a cast. If I weren't so damn happy I'd be frowning with her grip.
She's nervous. And shit, if I'm not too, but I can't entirely feel it over the four glasses of champagne I've downed to dull them. Amber's going into this sober and because of that I'll forgive her vice-like grip on my fingers.
Our closest friends and family are all gathered around, Amber's whole family intermingling with my own alongside our friends. Ben and Lara are also here, running wild outside, having gotten bored of entertaining a tired Mila who had been fighting off sleep for the last hour in Sav's arms. If we were going to do this now is the time and we both know it, everyone's here, there won't be another time like this. Especially because that all important countdown is inching closer to midnight, the year 2024 approaching.
"Hey, can I just say a few words?" I find myself saying, volume a little bit louder than necessary, the nerves getting to me. Michael looks to me confused from the kitchen, lowering the volume on the speakers looking to me in questioning. Everyone in the room seems to quiet their conversation with the disappearance of the music, Michelle clinking her glass mockingly prompting me for the announcement with a joking roll of her eyes. I only glare at her back, I refuse to taunt her back right now.
I force Ambers hand to loosen against mine, instead slipping my hand around her body, pulling her close into me. It's like I can feel her nerves, absorbing them into my own. The comfort of her body against mine makes them dull.
"I just wanna thank everyone for coming, I-some of you have had to travel so far to be here but we're so glad you did." I say with a smile, making sure to glance in Adam, Cisca and even Oliver's direction as I say the words. They're really here because they wanted to make Amber happy and that's the biggest thing that matters to me. Lando snorts when I meet his gaze shaking his head at me with an entertained smile - he's always been easy to make laugh. The poor guy had been particularly mopey for the last few months, after getting his heart broken by Carla. It's been good to see him so upbeat the last ten days.
"Before the new year starts I-"
"We!" Amber corrects, her hand holding onto mine at her waist, squeezing my digits as I take a shaky inhale of breath. I catch Michelle raising her eyebrow at the interjection and try not to laugh to myself.
"We," I correct, sending a pointed look to amber. "Just want to share some news with you." I begin cryptically finishing my glass of champagne for an extra boost of confidence. Amber scrunched her nose up beside me and it takes everything in me to not kiss her right here infront if everyone just to embarrass her.
I'm so fucking in love with this woman - and the life she's giving me.
With the nerves prickling over my skin and Amber's grip back on my arms the words slip from me. "Ambers pregnant." I announce, unable to keep the smile from my face I reveal the secret.
There's an echo of surprise in the room as everyone processes my words. Michelle is looking to me with surprise, something I wasn't sure I was able to pull from her anymore. Lando looking to me and his sister with slightly widened eyes, alongside everyone else.
Michael is the first break the silence with a hushed "I knew it!" Before handing his girlfriend twenty dollars. The words prompt a small hum of laughter before cheers of congratulations are poured in our direction. Cisca and Mum rush over to hug the two of us teary eyed as amber just grins, looking to me every few seconds. Through it all her hand stays holding mine.
That is until Lando approaches. He looks almost nervous as he gets to amber, shoulders a little slumped as he eyes her carefully eyes on her stomach. I can't help but tune out the conversation I've been drawn into, concerned for what he's going to say. "I'm not great with kids." Is all he says as if it's a warning and it makes Amber snort, I just quietly roll my eyes at him.
If the way Mila seems to cling to him is anything to go by he has nothing to worry about and he's better with children than he thinks.
"This one's going to be your niece or nephew Lan, not just a random kid." Is what I hear amber say, her words soft as they embrace and he mumbles his congratulations to his big sister.
"How long?" He asks, keeping her in his arms.
"Almost three months." Amber explains. The realisation comes faster than it did for me. Lando's face screwing up into one of slight disgust as he calculates the dates.
"You guys!" He groans as I hook an arm over Amber's shoulders pulling her body against mine. "Danny Ric what did you do to my sister in Italy?" I only laugh at his question. "We were on a family trip!" Lando groans again making me laugh as he eventually pulls me into a hug. "I hate you guys!" He continues with a grin when we pull away, slapping eachother firmly on the back.
I can't help but think about how far we've come.
——-
Surprise!
You guys I'm missing race week daniel like HELL! But that race was so fun!!
If any of you guys are wondering why our lil Lando is so sad well...you'll have to read Call Me Lover 👀🧐 the new short story I've just posted the prologue to!
I do think this is probably the last one of these I'll do...because idk I feel at peace now. But who knows! If inspiration strikes 👀 we shall see
Can't thank you guys enough for your support on this story
❤️❤️