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Volturi balls were probably nerve wracking for everyone.
The Volturi had a reputation after all, a wicked one.
Although you had a whole other level of fear.
You were mated to one the most frightening vampires in existence.
Alec. One of the four elite guards. Without doing much at all, he could rob anyone of all senses. A walking death trap.
You left fifty years ago. Whilst you loved Alec dearly and perhaps you always would, the decisions and life he had in the Volturi frightened you.
As far as Alec was concerned he had a job to do.
As far as you were concerned, he enjoyed torturing people and it wasn't left merely to a duty. Alec would do it on his free time. That frightened you, endlessly and given neither of you could agree upon it, the relationship fell apart.
Alec tore up nearly half the castle when you left. He was furious that even Aro let you leave. That was understandable.
Afton, as useless as he was to them, had to stay in the Volturi to keep Chelsea loyal. She was the glue. So why on earth were you allowed to leave?
Alec was even more ruthless after you left, his anger and betrayal driving everything he did, even if he didn't show it. Perhaps that was to Aro's advantage.
To your surprise, they actually did let you go. Alec didn't hunt you down, Demetri didn't track you. They never checked in. They just let you go.
You were lucky. No one knew about your bond to Alec. If they did, you'd have been a target long ago. You would have been dead or used as leverage. The only real friends you made were the Cullen's and the Denali given you and Eleazar's previous ties to the Volturi serving as something in common.
Beyond that, they seemed to enjoy your company.
Naturally, the Cullen's insisted you attended the ball with them. It was all about making amends and keeping the peace after all. You reluctantly agreed. Although as more time passed, the more you second-guessed the decision. Especially the moment you arrived.
You first caught eyes with Afton in the corridor, Chelsea was nowhere to be found. He nodded curtly at you and you nodded back.
Afton was the least confrontational. You liked him.
Whilst most guards struggled to really understand him- along with the dislike of not having to earn a place in the guard- you found him to be quiet but polite. Although he wasn't much of a talker. You figured you'd save yourself and him the struggle of conversation for now. Your luck ran out relatively quickly.
You had hopped someone like Santiago would be next to gradually build up your comfort. It wasn't.
Instead, Heidi glided up to you with a wide, beautiful smile. "Hello, stranger!" She grinned before taking you into a hug.
You lightly hugged her back. "Heidi." You smiled with a greeting.
"I'm so happy to see you again. It's been too long!"
You'd disagree, given your discomfort, it definitely hadn't been long enough.
"I sent an invite but didn't hear back. I assumed you weren't coming!" She said. You nodded. "Yeah, um, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Carlisle convinced me since he and his coven would be here."
Heidi nodded a little slower with a sympathetic smile. "Well, I'm pleased your here and I think that'll be the case for most of us."
Most. Definitely not the twins. You knew that for sure. It didn't have to be said. Suddenly Heidi let out a giggle with a playful nudge. "'Yeah'? Have you been spending time with humans?"
You cracked a smile. "Enough for my speech to be affected...not enough to know a thing about them." You replied. Your speech must have sounded strange now. It really had been a while since you had been here. You used to pronounce everything down the the smallest sound. It didn't come natural to you as much anymore to annunciate to such extent that you had been raised to.
Times change and seemingly, so did you.
"Enjoy yourself tonight." Heidi smiled. "Don't worry about a thing. Many of us will be pleased to see you." Heidi paused. "I don't suppose you've seen Afton? Chelsea has been looking for him. You know him, he's not a big people person." You smiled in amusement before twisting your body to look over your shoulder and point. "Near the entrance."
Heidi rolled her eyes. "Of course he is. Pardon me, I better go get him before he gets any ideas of escaping." She offered you one last charming smile before taking her leave.
As you continued down the corridor surrounded by the occasional nomads. You caught eyes with Santiago, who in turn nudged a familiar blonde.
Demetri turned before a charming smile grew upon his face. Demetri beckoned you over and with a sigh and a small smile of your own, you complied.
"Why hello there, beautiful." Demetri took your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles.
"Hi, Demetri. Santiago." You nodded.
The two looked at each other in amusement and you caught on immediately. "Yeah, yeah, I talk different now, ha ha."
Demetri chuckled, keeping a grip on your hand. "I simply cannot believe my eyes." Demetri peered over the heads down the corridor towards the throne room. "Stay here. I'll fetch Felix. My head will be detached in a second if he finds out I spoke to you and didn't find him."
You chuckled, leaning back slightly. "Oh, I see him."
He was talking to a female nomad, all the while getting a little touchy.
"Flirting. As usual." Demetri sighed playfully. Demetri was gone in a flash and by Felix's side.
You moved closer to Santiago. "How have you been?" You asked.
"Painfully indifferent." Santiago replied. "I'm trying to keep away from the main party for as long as I can. I'd try to find Afton but Chelsea might have him glued in there. I have no way of saving him unless I want to suffer the same fate."
You hummed in amusement. "You don't have to. I saw Afton back at the entrance. Heidi is hunting him down for Chelsea."
"Knowing him, it's a miracle he hasn't run out the door." Santiago smirked. Santiago looked to you. "How have you been?"
Before you could think to answer, Demetri nodded in your direction and Felix followed his gaze. Felix's eyes widened, his mouth agape.
"Oh, you've been spotted." Santiago smirked.
"Oh boy." You breathed. Felix was quick to bid farewell to the female vampire before bounding up to you.
"Well, I'll be damned!" He called out with a grin, Demetri right behind him with a smile of his own. "Are you a hugger yet?" Felix asked.
He didn't wait for an answer as he bent down to hug you tightly.
"Hi Felix." You smiled, hugging him back.
There was a time where your relationship was so strained that you were constantly angry and cold. You weren't interested in any kind of affection, even from Alec.
Felix sent Santiago a wide-eyed look. Clearly your speech had startled him too. Santiago smirked with a nod.
"I've missed you, kid! I didn't know you were coming!" Felix exclaimed.
"I was convinced last minute by Carlisle. I didn't think it was a good idea considering...you know." You said carefully.
"Those two have been warned they've to be in their best behaviour." Demetri said smoothly, clearly talking about the twins. "I'll give them the news that you're here."
Felix continued. "If they give you any issues, find us. We've got you."
Slowly you nodded, not really having the will to argue. Instead there was one question on your mind.
"How is he?" You asked quietly. Felix and Demetri shared a look.
"He's Alec." Felix replied. "It's hard to tell. He always had a terrible attitude." Slowly you nodded, feeling guilty. You quickly tried to shake the feeling. "Anyway, I better head inside and show my face right? I'll catch up with you guys later."
"You got it." Felix smirked.
"I better go and inform Alec of the good news." Demetri put a hand upon your shoulder with a smile before taking his leave.
You eventually found your way through to the room the ball was actually taking place in. It was swarmed with groups of vampires alike.
Carlisle and Esme found you very quickly, Esme bring you into a hug almost immediately before guiding you to the rest of their coven.
You were completely unaware of the eyes upon you from across the room.
"Well, well, well. They decided to attend after all." Caius mused.
"Yes, indeed." Aro replied.
Marcus said nothing, simply casting you a glance along with his brothers stares. "How delightful!" Aro's eyes gleamed. "We must spare a moment to greet them at some point."
Eleazar's hand gripped your elbow and he leaned into you slightly. "Hello, (Y/N)." "Hi, Eleazar." You said with a small smile.
"Forgive me, but you seem nervous."
"It's that obvious?" You joked lightly as your eyes darted around the room. "Relax." He coaxed before leaning into your ear, whispering. "No one knows. Some guards have already seen you in here."
"Yes, but none are the ones I'm worried about."
"I wouldn't be so certain." Eleazar mumbled. "To your right, past Chelsea, Renata and Corin." You looked past them and your stomach almost dropped. You saw Demetri at first, sparing you glances every now and then but beside him were the twins who were staring you down.
"Oh hell." You mumbled, looking away.
"Don't worry. Just take what comes with grace. That's all you can do." Eleazar assured you. Suddenly Eleazar hummed in amusement. "Like Marcus."
"Like Marcus?" You repeated in confusion, following Eleazar's gaze on the other side of the room.
You couldn't help but stifle a small giggle. Marcus was looking down Renesmee who had seemingly held his hand hostage against his will and was talking away to him about absolutely nothing at all as all children did. Yet he seemed to humour the girl with his soft spoken and brief responses. How fitting. If any leader was the most child friendly- it was Marcus. Especially since he was the one who voted against her destruction.
After a minute, Renesmee got distracted and released Marcus' hand, running off to her next target. You let out another chuckle along with Eleazar.
"I'm certain that you have nothing to worry about." He assured you before taking his leave.
To your surprise, the all three leaders approached you.
"My dear, (Y/N)..." Aro sent you a grin. "What a pleasure to see you again!"
"A welcome surprise." Marcus added.
"You look simply divine." Caius finished, although his face was void of any emotion.
You bowed slightly, a habit you had yet to break with them. "Thank you so much. It's a pleasure to see you again. Thank you so much for inviting me." You made eye contact with all three.
"Why of course, dear one." Aro's grin widened. "I must agree with my brothers, we miss you dearly. It's not the same in these walls without you. Especially our dear Alec."
You tried not to wince. If anything it became a small twitch.
If they noticed, the leaders didn't comment upon it. Aro took your hand. "All the more reason we are delighted to have you here."
Relief flooded through you. The fear he would ask you to return to the Volturi passing. He patted your hand in his gently with a look of sympathy.
"Have no fears, dear child. Tonight is about enjoying ourselves and seeing old friends. Our guard will be on their best behaviour. "
You nodded with a small smile.
They moved on, seemingly satisfied and moving onto the next in sight. Carmen and Eleazar.
Alice slipped her arm through yours. "Having fun?" She grinned.
"I have no complaints." You replied with a small smile.
"Good." She chirped. "I wanted to check in since you've been keeping to yourself mostly."
"Force of habit." You said bashfully.
"Or nerves." She shot you a knowing smile. "You think he's going to approach you, don't you?"
You pondered. "More that he's waiting to scream at me." You admitted. "I feel like I'm just antagonizing him with my presence alone."
"It's better than not seeing you at all. He knows you're okay at the very least." Alice offered and you hummed.
"It's complicated." You said.
"Yeah?" She asked.
"Yeah." You confirmed. "We spent so long trying to find the in-betweens, the compromises, and we did. It was those around us who interfered." You said sadly. "We tried. We tried so hard that, I thought it was taking the life out of me. Now that he isn't here, I know that is taking the life out of me day by day but I have freedoms here, freedoms I didn't have in there. I can go anywhere I please but I can't do it with the one person I-" You trailed off. "Sorry, this must be depressing to hear. You want to enjoy your night, not listen to me ramble."
Alice shook her head. "No, I...I kind of understand." Alice admitted. "I knew about Jasper, long before he knew about me. I knew he was coming and I loved him and the glimpses I saw of what could be down the line. I'm sure you could imagine how difficult it is to love someone from afar when they don't even know you exist."
You nodded. "Yeah, that's hard. Hold onto him, Alice. Once they're gone...they're gone."
Alice took a hold of your arm lightly. "You two might just fall back in love eventually." Alice smiled slightly.
You smiled another sad smile at her before you shook your head. "He'd never...I've lost my trust with him. He's fine and probably better off without me." Alice offer you a sad, sympathetic smile. "You'd be surprised the amount of pain we'd go through for the people we love." She patted your arm. "You'll see." She said.
For the first time in years, your eyes locked into Alec's and the world seemed to slow down before you.
Slowly, Alec moved towards you, weaving in between countless guests until finally he was three feet away from you. Your mind went blank. You weren't able to think. Everything just stopped.
"Alec..." You trailed off quietly. Alec moved to your side. He maintained appearances for your sake. Many in the room didn't know about you two.
"It's nice to see you again." He said quietly.
"You too." You said quietly.
"I didn't know you were invited so forgive my surprise."
You were taken aback. "You don't need to worry about it." You assured him. "How are you doing?" Alec only hummed. Perhaps it wasn't the best question in that moment.
"What have you been doing?" He asked.
"Nothing of real importance." You replied. "Just kind of... existing." You paused. "I've missed you." You said.
You looked at Alec's expression. It was stone cold.
"I find that hard to believe." He replied and you sighed.
"Is this what we're doing now? Stand here awkwardly?" You asked.
Alec didn't respond.
After a moment of silence, an idea came to mind.
"Alright. Ask the person who hurt you the most to dance." You said to yourself. After a moment of silence you held out your hand.
It took a moment for Alec to realise you had extended your hand to him. His gaze moved from your hand to your eyes. With ease, he took it, leading you to the swarm of people.
You fit against him perfectly, just as you always had. However instead of the good, it only made things more frustrating, upsetting even. #
As the two of you gently swayed in each other's arms, Alec spoke up. "Is that a human thing you've picked up?"
"Yes. I found it bizarre and it seemed appropriate for now."
There was a small hum of what you were certain was amusement if you knew Alec.
There was so much that could have been said in that moment but it seemed like there was enough time to say it, ironically enough.
I love you. I miss you. Come back to me. My heart will always be yours.
Your hearts wanted to reach out for one another yet neither allowed it. Your grip around him tightened as you buried you face into his shoulder ever so slightly. You missed him, you missed him with everything you had and you could only hope that he missed you too.
When the song ended Alec murmured in your ear. "Come with me. I need to speak with you."
Reluctantly you did so. Not that you had much choice. You weren't able to go anywhere without your wrist and Alec had a tight grip upon it.
Alec led you to a corridor that was quiet and away from the guests.
Alec looked you over in silence for a moment. "After all this time, you've never told me why." He said quietly.
You didn't respond. What could you respond to that with?
"Why did you come here tonight?" He asked.
"Carlisle convinced me. I wasn't going to since...I didn't think you'd want to see me."
Alec let out a humourless laugh. "How considerate of you."
"Alec, I don't want to fight with you." You sighed.
"I'm simply asking why. You won't give me any answers."
"It doesn't matter-" You began but Alec cut you off. "After that argument, you just left!" He cried out.
"Stop." You put your face in your hands. "I thought it was best for us."
"To break my heart!?" Alec yelled.
"I thought you were better off without me!" You said louder. "I thought I was holding you back and giving you unnecessary pain."
Alec stared at you quietly, as always he remained quiet at the most important times. You turned to look back at the door.
"Don't even think about looking at that door. I'm really trying to believe you right now." Alec growled.
You turned back to face him completely as Alec's emotions bubbled over. "People in the castle talk about us like we're finished. You talk like you are done with me yet you still wear the ring that I gave you! It was supposed to be you, me and Jane because you two are the only people I'll ever need and want!"
Alec cried out. "I am the only one who isn't finished. You never even told me that we were over. You just left! So I reject all of this!" Alec's eyes softened slightly. "You and I are not finished." He slowly shook his head. "I am not done."
"You don't feel like it's finished because it's not." You said firmly. "There isn't a finishing line, Alec. I will always be tied to you. The one way it could ever be over is if one of us were to die. We'd have to be ripped from one another at death. So there is no finishing line. It will never feel like the end."
You left barely an hour after those words. You had thought that was the end of it.
Nothing prepared you for Alec at your door. You weren't surprised he could find you. That's like forgetting Demetri entirely. However you were surprised he'd want to find you. He stared you down harshly.
"What are you doing here?" You asked quietly.
He looked you up and down before inviting himself in. "Looking for you."
"Of course but why?" You pressed.
"Aren't I allowed to see you when I please? We are married in every sense of the word but legally."
"No, we aren't. The legal part is the beginning and end of marriage. It's the whole point of it." You shot back.
"Yet you still wear my ring."
"It's my ring."
"It's the ring I gave you!" Alec snapped. "Don't you see? You want me to believe that you aren't bound to me yet you wear the ring that symbolises that!?"
Slowly you shook your head. "So this is why you're here? To argue with me?" "Of course not, but don't sit here and pretend our relationship-"
"It's complicated, Alec!" You fired back in exasperation. "This is the most we've spoke in decades!"
"Thanks to you! You left me!" Alec responded sourly. "Now you're unhappy that I won't give you up!"
You sighed and after a moment of silence, you spoke somberly. "You used to promise me that you'd never let me go."
"You're surprised I stayed true to those words?" Alec asked.
"No, I used to find comfort in them...not anymore. Now it just scares me." You met Alec's gaze. "It's been so long and all this time you've been waiting for me to walk back into that castle like nothing ever went wrong?"
Alec slowly shook his head. "I won't let you slip away. Not you. People say a lot of things that mean nothing but I promise you, that is as good as fact."
"Why?" You asked.
"You're mine." He replied quickly. It was your turn to shake your head.
"No." You said.
"You are, you're mine!" Alec yelled loudly. You sighed. There was no hiding from it. That you knew.
"You should hate me! After everything you should want nothing to do with me!" You said incredulously.
"I don't hate you. I love you." Alec replied softly.
You stiffened.
Everything within you made you want to say it back. Everything in you made you want to run into his arms. You couldn't. You couldn't do that to him and you couldn't do that to yourself. So you said nothing. You knew the conflict was clear upon your face but you didn't say a word.
The two of you sat in silence for half an hour, not even so much as looking at each other. Marinading in each others heart ache.
Yet as the silence smothered the two of you, you couldn't help but notice a different perspective. You had always known about that side to Alec you had feared, yet you chose him and at the end of the day, as much as you wanted to hide it...you still loved him.
Finally, you found the courage to say the words you had wanted to say for years. "Alec?" He looked up at your voice. "I love you." You said softly.
"I love you too." He responded quietly.
"I've never stopped hoping that one day I could come back to you." You admitted quietly. Alec looked up sharply, moving to your side within seconds. "You do?" His stoic expression was long gone, his eyes wide in hope. Alec took your wrists into his hands with a firm grip. "You'd come with me?"
"It's not as easy as that."
"It could be." Alec said stiffly.
"If you don't talk, then you drift apart. After some time you'll have so much to say but not enough time to say it." You smiled sadly, breaking away from Alec. "I meant it when I said I love you forever, even if you didn't in the end."
"You meant something to me. You still do. You always will." Alec said.
Your eyes darkened slightly.
"(Y/N), I meant it. I will always love you." Alec said quietly. He pulled you closer, his hands cradling your face. "You are the love of my life. Come home."