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You didn't expect to be sent away from the Cullen's.
You were quickly chastised, never to look at it as being sent away, rather putting you in the care of someone else for your benefit.
Losing a parent was never easy and it didn't need to be said that you were struggling. You went on day by day, the simple mundane things reminding you of your father and in turn, your loss.
Carlisle and Esme thought it best you had a break from America. Somewhere new to really work through your emotions. The last place you thought they'd send you is to the Volturi.
Sure, Italy was nothing like you were used to but the coven they said would care for you isn't entirely the caring type. You weren't even sure as to what made them agree to having you in their care but you had no doubt Aro probably latched onto the possibility of rekindling his friendship with Carlisle.
Regardless, you agreed.
A symptom of your grief that they had noticed. You weren't entirely present, agreeing to be convenient and not having a particular want for anything.
Carlisle and Esme insisted that if you weren't comfortable, you didn't have to go but you left reassuring them you'd be fine.
Marcus recognised the look in your eyes, beyond the exhaustion and blank stare your emotions were loud and clear to him.
You felt so much pain that with some irony, you looked to be dead.
As though the loss had killed you.
However such a statement couldn't be further from the truth.
You were very much alive, nearly drowning in whatever was going on in your mind.
The three leaders welcomed you and made sure you knew the higher ranking guards names. Anyone you came across was introduced.
Many matching your own blank expression take away the exhaustion that hung over you like a blanket since a few days after your fathers funeral.
Demetri and Felix were the ones who took you to your room.
You took in the room before turning to the two guards. "Thank you for all of your help." Your voice was as monotone as the minute you had arrived. Although your facial expressions were at bare minimum. You didn't blink very much and it gave off the illusion that your face was trying and very much failing to emote and keep up with your words.
Demetri nodded once and the two took their leave, letting you settle in.
"They look like they haven't slept in days." Felix said quietly.
"Apparently they have been sleeping, that's just how they are currently." Demetri responded. Felix looked perplexed. "They were sent to us for a reason Felix. The Cullen's wouldn't have asked us if they weren't desperate." Demetri said. "Sure, it's just odd to see them so lifeless." Felix replied.
Demetri nodded. "Seeing them like this in comparison to how we last saw them is very strange. Even the twins seemed to be caught off guard."
"Is the room to your liking?"
You looked over your shoulder to see Caius approaching you.
"It's great." You responded. "Thank you so much, I don't think I've ever stayed somewhere to extravagant before."
Caius cracked a smile. "We have expensive tastes here. I imagine that isn't the only thing you have noticed though."
"You're right. The decor isn't exactly modern yet you still have the random TV, electricity and such. I think what I'm trying to say is that it's a perfect combination of old decor and convenient modern day technology."
Caius hummed. "That is good. I can't say many of us use most of the modern equipment, although it has its uses every now and then. Such as warm water for you."
It was your turn to crack a smile. It was nice they remembered the little details. "I've never had a room with a balcony. Not had one with such an amazing view either."
You could see out to the ocean beyond the cliffs, the sun setting creating a cool breeze. "Yes, it is very beautiful. My wife adores the view. She doesn't see the buildings as much from the tower but she sees the sun rise and set. That's enough for her, she says." Caius said looking in the direction of the setting sun. You noticed Caius was never this talkative with anyone, never mind a human.
It had gone from polite pleasantries to a conversation and you weren't sure what to make of it.
"We must ask something of you, (Y/N). A few things actually."
"Okay...I mean, it makes sense since you're letting me stay here."
"We only ask that you do not leave your room when we are feeding. A guard will tell you when we are going to feed and when you can leave. At most you'd be in for an hour. We must also ask for your phone. You are more than free to make calls using the phone at reception but due to all of the things mobile phones can do, we must insist."
You nodded. "Sure, that's reasonable." You dug into your pocket for your phone before handing it over. "Oh wait, can I turn it off first?"
Caius looked down at the device in his hand. "I believe that would be best because I don't know what I'm looking at with these things."
You cracked a smile, holding down the power button. "There."
"Thank you." Caius nodded.
They noticed that you slept, a lot. Sure they were told between 8-12 hours is enough but they let you sleep a little longer in case of jet lag or time differences. That was until it became apparent that these were no longer an issue. It couldn't have been healthy.
It was no surprise to anyone when Demetri and the twins opened your door to find you asleep. They already knew that of course, as did the rest of the castle. You were tucked into the covers, your face buried into your pillow, only the top of your back being visible to them. It would have been amusing or even adorable at the time, if it wasn't very concerning.
Demetri crouched at your bedside.
"(Y/N), it's time to wake up." Demetri said softly.
You shifted before shaking your head.
"Come on, darling. You'll sleep the day away."
"Let me." Was the quiet grumble you responded with.
This was confirmation that you weren't in high spirits today. Demetri rubbed at your arm that was under the covers.
"We can't let you do that, darling. We'll be more than satisfied if you get out of bed and get changed. It'll make a lot of difference."
"No, it won't." There was a whimper in your voice that time. Your grip on the covers tightening, your knuckles going white. "It doesn't bring him back. It doesn't make the day any easier because he's gone." Demetri moved closer. "I dreamt about him." You said, a sob breaking through.
Demetri rubbed your back as you sobbed. Anyone with a sliver of empathy would have found it difficult to watch.
Demetri had no doubt that he seemed like a villain to you right now. Asking almost the impossible but it was better for you. Not to mention, the leaders had already decided that this couldn't continue.
"I know you're suffering right now sweetheart." Demetri rubbed back again soothingly. Demetri looked to the twins, nodding to them.
A silent message to relay what had happened here to the leaders, to confirm the distress they could likely hear.
"One step at a time. This is all you have to do today. In fact," Demetri paused, looking around the room. "why not get changed into those softer clothes you have. The ones you say are more comfier like your night clothes. Can you do that?"
It took a lot of coaxing but you caved, doing exactly that.
A couple of more days passed and you seemed to just cry your way through them. Aro was the first to approach the matter.
"I know that this all feels like an ending but you may find that-"
Your gaze shot up to Aro's like a deer in headlights, feeling tears build up once more. "Aro, I don't think I'm ready to hear this right now." You managed out in a whisper. The only way the words would leave your mouth.
"I thought I'd have my sister with me forever." Aro told you with a sad smile. "We were many years apart but she was my sister. We may not have grown up together but we were going to make up for that...with forever. One day that changed. I lost her. I won't lie to you, I will always remember that pain, and I'll still feel it every now and then but with time, it isn't so raw. It doesn't consume you as it does when it's fresh."
You dropped your gaze from his once more, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat. "This feels like a pain that will never go away."
"It lifts every day, my love." Aro responded. "Loss creates wounds and sometimes they scar but that's alright." Aro nodded.
A tear ran down your cheek as you bit back a sob. Aro's words were actually comforting. It validated your feelings, telling you that you could feel that way whilst not undermining or dismissing it as something to be ignored as it would go away. Furthermore, it was a meeting point to help you understand that the pain you felt wasn't going to drown you, no matter how deep the pain went. It would get easier and you wouldn't forget.
A day passed and it was possibly the most draining day you had yet. You felt tears constantly. Sometimes they fell yet it was for no reason, they'd leave as quickly as they arrived without explanation. Therefore you couldn't give any explanation to the Volturi.
You were somewhat reluctant to see Marcus when he asked for you but you also knew you weren't in any position to refuse.
You found the door was open as you entered.
The room only illuminated by the fire to the right of the room and surrounded by two couches that looked old and exceptionally expensive- a dark brown wooden frame with padding covered with a rich red fabric.
You quietly sighed to yourself the moment your eyes landed on Marcus. His back was turned to you, a very old, large book holding his attention. Or so you thought.
"I know your pain, child." He said as you moved towards the fireplace, your arms crossed over chest.
"I'm sorry for your loss." You grumbled.
Marcus turned to look at you before moving towards you. He gestured for you to sit in the seat behind you. As you did, he sat down opposite you.
"I'm more concerned about yours." He responded. "We find ways to cope with loss. You have lost your way whilst trying to find yours."
"I'm fine if that's what you're asking." You said.
"I'm not asking. I know how you are feeling, (Y/N). I know not what you are thinking." Marcus replied.
"You could always ask Aro. He's seen inside my head-."
"Aro's sight is nothing to me in this case." Marcus interrupted. "It's meaningless. Hearing it from you gives it meaning."
"You want me to talk about it." You said flatly.
Marcus said nothing but looked at you expectantly which had confirmed your suspicions. You looked away, contemplating if you should. You came to the conclusion that it wouldn't hurt.
"I can't really figure out where I've to go from here, in life. I've never had to live without him." You answered.
"You go on, little one. There is no direction. No one is pointed in the correct direction. At the end of the day, you go there yourself. With everyday, you go on and that's exactly what you're supposed to do." He responded. "When someone puts their all into you, their love, their effort, their time, they grow a bond to you that can never be broken, not really. It's always there. So when someone loves you so much...it's never goodbye." Marcus continued. "The truth is...losing someone is never easy. It changes you and it changes your life but it's never more important to remember that life goes on and people will miss you when you're no longer around. I know you well enough to know you'd want your loved ones to carry on. That's what is being asked of you now."
Hearing Marcus' perspective was actually important to you in hindsight, seeing as he endured such a painful loss that still haunted him to this day. It meant he understood the feeling of something missing in your life. He knew that better than anyone.
Although much like Aro's advice it was difficult to put into practice.
Four days passed and you were fed up of the grief and the constant tears for the tiniest thing.
When Caius wanted to see you, you couldn't help but think that he was going to lecture you. Tell you to get over yourself like you had told yourself time and time again.
So when you met him on the balcony, you asked.
"I suppose you're going to tell me to toughen up right?" You asked Caius.
Caius turned his head to look at you, instead of the ocean view. "Is that what you need to hear?"
Slowly you shook your head.
"So what would be the point?" He asked and you shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just thinking about everything he wanted from me. If my time with him was enough."
Caius hummed. "A parents wish is to never outlive their children. They raise you wanting you to be better than they could ever be and live your life as much as you can. Even more so, enjoy it. Be safe and happy, free of doubt." Caius continued. "He got so many years of your life and I bet if you asked him...he wouldn't give up even a moment of the time he had with you. I'd say your father did a wonderful job raising you."
"Was it enough though? Was it enough to make him proud and continue believing in me?"
Caius cracked a small smile. "I think your father couldn't be more proud of you every day he walked this earth and if there is life beyond the living, he's just as proud."
"How do you know? That I made him proud?" You asked after a moment of silence.
"Simply because I am proud of you and not only are you not my child...but I am also very difficult to please." Caius responded with ease.
You had to swallow hard against the lump in your throat.
"Everyone in this castle, every vampire no matter the rank has outlived their parents. Although you may be surprised to know that many among us, had their own children that they have since outlived. All of different ages, from the old to the young. Every single one would tell you the pain of outliving their children was much worse." Caius assured you.
Your eyes narrowed. "is that supposed to make me feel bad for my feelings?" You wouldn't have expected any less of him.
Caius hummed in amusement. "Not at all, it's something to consider that your father wouldn't have had it any other way." Caius responded.
You weren't sure when things had changed but the grief wasn't so heavy on you. So much so, you got out of bed at a decent time, got changed and came down for breakfast.
Felix checked in on you as soon as it was evident you were awake but left you to get ready for the day in peace. After breakfast you found both Felix and Demetri in one of the living rooms watching TV.
You had gotten closer to the two over time. Demetri went out if his way to make sure you were looked after and Felix tried to be something of a friend or even a distraction as he tried to include you in almost everything.
"Well look who's here!" He grinned. "Come and pick us a movie. You've got good taste as we've learned." Felix patted the empty seat next to him.
"No, I need to sit on that side of you- that's my good side." You said. "If I need to have your magnified gaze on me it should at least be on my good side."
Felix paused, a small smile growing on his face.
You couldn't help but giggle at his expression.
"I'm sorry? You're good side? What does that mean?" He said through chuckles. "Is this a human thing I don't know about? You have sides to you now?"
"No!" You started but began giggling hysterically.
"Listen, I need to know how many sides you have. Is this like personalities? Which side came down to breakfast this morning?" Felix continued and you laughed even more.
"Or is it an angel and devil kind of thing? Did you leave your bad side upstairs, sitting in the sink? Which is another conversation all together by the way."
"No!" You laughed.
Felix turned to Demetri. "I was sent to check on them Demetri, do you know where I found them? Sitting in the sink! When did humans ever do that!?"
"It was to get closer to the mirror!" You cried out in your defence.
"To check on your good side by any chance?" Felix responded.
You had doubled over so much in laughter and uncontrollable coughing Felix looked at you quizzically. "Breathe, (Y/N), it's kind of popular amongst your kind!" Felix's statement didn't help you.
Instead you laughed more, curling up into a ball where you stood.
"What are you doing now!?" Felix said in mock exasperation, beginning to chuckle himself.
"I have to or I'm going to pee myself!" You managed out and Felix suddenly roared in laughter. "Friend, Demetri, listen, Carlisle needs to order a new human. This one is broken." Felix laughed hysterically as Demetri smirked with a playful eye roll.
You wiped at tears that had built up in your eyes.
"Ah, see, now that you've stopped yourself from relieving yourself on our floor, it's coming out your eyes instead. Humans are great!"
"Felix, that is not how that works." Demetri said, his eyes wide as you continued to laugh.
"Yes I kn- you ruined my joke! Of course I know that!" Felix face palmed.
Felix stood up, pulling you to a stand and bringing you to sit with him, his arm over your shoulder. "There, there, deep breaths. I've got you kid."
Before you could blink he was on the other side of you. "Soothe both sides of you."
A other giggle escaped you as he grinned.
Demetri looked at you both with a smile. This was much more like the human they were accustomed to.
The day before you left, you visited Caius at his office, wanting to thank him for everything he had done for you. You were beyond aware he didn't have to say anything to console you. Yet he went above and beyond.
"Come in." You heard his stern voice behind the door.
"Hi, do you have a moment? I can come back later if it's more fitting?" You asked, looking at him as he moved a few sheets of paper to the side of his desk. "Not at all, you chose a very good moment. What is it?" Caius stood up, moving away from his desk and approached you, closing the door behind you. "Hm?" Caius promoted, slightly softer in tone than he had before.
"I wanted to thank you, for taking me in and being there for me when I needed it most. I didn't have the expectation but you went above and beyond more than I could have ever asked of you. I'm grateful." You said.
"Well, you certainly needed it. That I can tell you. It's a joy to see you've been more like yourself lately." Caius responded.
You felt yourself gradually grow a little more emotional by the second. In some strange way, you were going to miss him and others of the Volturi. Despite being rather rough around the edges.
"I don't know if anyone has ever told you this." You began. You feared his reaction but couldn't keep the thought to yourself.
"You'd have been a really great father." You said swallowing against the lump in your throat.
Caius looked slightly taken aback. His expression changed to something you couldn't quite describe. Awe wasn't the correct word but looked to be the closest thing. His eyes softening as though you had melted his heart with those words alone. He said nothing, unable to believe what he had heard.
You immediately closed the gap, hugging him tightly. Caius inhaled sharply, uncertain what to do as you hugged his waist and your head against his chest. You couldn't see it but felt as Caius relaxed, a small smile growing upon his face. You felt a hand cradle the back of your head softly as his other arm wrapped around you. He bent ever so slightly, his head resting on top of yours.
"You take care of yourself. Understand? I expect to hear of your transformation soon." He said quietly.
When you broke away, he wasn't so emotional. Instead he gave you his signature smile.
"I promise." You responded as he led you towards the door.
Marcus was the next you visited, around two hours later.
Softly, you had knocked on his door to his own study and received a soft "Enter." in response.
"Hi." You began meekly. "Do you have a second?" You asked as Marcus was putting a book back on book shelf. One of many that covered the whole wall with cabinets at the bottom.
"I do." He nodded, turning towards you.
"I...Oh hell, this gets harder to do each time." You said, eyes wide.
Marcus tilted his head. "Take a breath. I won't bite." Marcus offered you a comforting smile.
You smiled at the irony. "I wanted to thank you. You took me in and helped me through probably the most difficult thing I've ever endured in my life. You didn't have to and you did anyway. I wanted to say thank you. I appreciate it more than I could put it into words."
Marcus smiled slightly. "Then allow me to thank you, dear (Y/N)."
You raised an eyebrow, confusion crossing your features.
"It's not often we have such young hearts here, all of ours have faded. You may have shown us that humans can be such wonderful things. Some of us might argue you to be the most wonderful of all. So thank you for blessing us with your presence, little one."
You felt tears build again, rendered speechless. Marcus smiled, if anyone understood. It was him. "Your father would be so proud of you and every moment you've spent with us has been nothing short of a gift to us. Never forget that."
You nodded. "I'll never forget what you've done for me. I can't express how thankful I am to you and the Volturi. I don't think I could have gotten through this without you."
"Ah, ah, remember my dear. You were always going to come through. You've always had that strength in you. That was never strength that we could give. You've had it from the very beginning. It just takes some time." Marcus softly took hold of your arms. "I know it's going to make longer than our time together to properly heal from this. Although I'm more than confident that you will be just fine."
As tears threatened to fall, you smiled at him. "I really don't get how you don't have children." You said and Marcus chuckled. "It wasn't supposed to be." "They'd be so lucky!" You responded as the two of you moved towards the door. Marcus chuckled. "If I ever had a child, I'd hope they'd turn out like you."
When you finally got a hold of Aro, it was in the throne room with Marcus and Caius. You bit your lip. "There's so much I want to say..." You said to him. "...but every time I go to talk I nearly cry." You admitted, the lump returning in your throat.
Aro chuckled slightly. "Allow me then, my dear. You've shed enough tears." Aro stood up, descending the stairs with his hand extended towards you. You held out your hand and he took his, cradling it close to his chest.
A warm, genuine smile grew on Aro's face. "We have such high hopes for you, young (Y/N)." He said softly. "Your time with us has been wonderful. You are a beautiful soul, my dear. The pleasure was ours, truly. You have no need to thank us." Aro finished. "I trust you will join our kind soon enough. Until then, be safe and send my regards to my dear friend Carlisle." You nodded and Aro nodded behind you.
There stood Felix and Demetri who escorted you to the entrance.
The twins stood in waiting, dismissing the receptionist as you approached.
"Is that everything?" Demetri asked, nodding to the bags beside the desk.
You nodded. "Yeah."
You looked at the four of them, silence overtaking the room. "I wanted to thank you guys too. I know it's not easy to be around a human like you have since I've been here. Especially an emotional wreck of a human."
You noticed Alec's slight smirk at this.
"Oh come here!" Felix finally said loudly, hugging you tightly. "I'm going to miss having a human around here." He grumbled.
"...the receptionist?" You reminded him.
"It's not the same! I actually like you!"
You smiled into his broad shoulder. "I'll miss you, Felix." You said.
"Don't! I'll find a way to keep you!" Felix grinned, squeezing slightly. "They'll never know. I'll find a way!"
You giggled as the two of you broke the hug.
You stepped away, your attention moving to Demetri.
"Of course I have to thank you!" You smiled, hugging him before he could respond. He smiled down at you, patting you on the back lightly.
"Be safe." He said to you quietly.
Finally you looked to the twins. "I know you two don't do the hugging and I've put you two through enough."
Neither responded but Alec's gaze wasn't so harsh. It was an improvement as neither of them were glaring at you.
"Thank you for putting up with me. I know it must have been annoying for you to have me around- being a human and all that." You smiled slightly at them.
The twins were silent but you caught Alec sending you a smile. Whilst they didn't say anything to you, Alec's smile told you a lot. They didn't completely hate you. You weren't as bad as they had thought. Although they weren't quite willing to let their guard down around you.
"You two take care." You nodded to them with a smile before turning away.
"I believe the car is outside waiting for you." Demetri said with a small brief smile.